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LoveSync Kickstarter, for when asking your partner to have sex is too awkward, press our button instead
- Thread starter Bobo Dakes
- Start date
I think a few people don't understand how this device works. If one person presses the button, nothing happens. The only time something happens is if both partners press the button. There's no impetus placed on your partner when you push the button - the whole point is that you can freely press it whenever you want and not worry about rejection.
It depends what the problem is. If the problem is that one partner literally never wants sex, then of course this device is useless. If the problem is that there's a minimal overlap of when both partners are DTF and that one or both are hesitant to ask the other because there's a fear of rejection, then this device could be helpful to them.
I really dislike this attitude and line of thinking. You are lumping everyone who might possibly benefit from this device into the "doomed relationship" bucket, and I think this only encourages people to not seek practical solutions to their relationship problems.
Sometimes relationship issues are more logistical than romantic.
It depends what the problem is. If the problem is that one partner literally never wants sex, then of course this device is useless. If the problem is that there's a minimal overlap of when both partners are DTF and that one or both are hesitant to ask the other because there's a fear of rejection, then this device could be helpful to them.
I really dislike this attitude and line of thinking. You are lumping everyone who might possibly benefit from this device into the "doomed relationship" bucket, and I think this only encourages people to not seek practical solutions to their relationship problems.
Sometimes relationship issues are more logistical than romantic.
Who said it was doomed? Relationships require work and communication like almost any other sustained human interaction, farming out something as intimate as communication in a relationship around sexual desires to an app is just a dumb shortcut that only sounds good in an elevator pitch.
You can smash that button all you like , but what is to stop your partner ignoring it? Or pretending they don't see it? Nothing. It doesn't fix the underlying communication breakdown in the relationship.
You can smash that button all you like , but what is to stop your partner ignoring it? Or pretending they don't see it? Nothing. It doesn't fix the underlying communication breakdown in the relationship.
The way you've written it here makes me unsure if you understand how this device works. When you press the button there's nothing for the partner to ignore or pretend they don't see. I don't mean to be rude in ignoring the rest of your post, but understanding the mechanics of the device is key to understanding why this might be useful for some people in very specific circumstances.
Kind of, but the rejection has lost it's sting because it's passive rather than active. Passive rejection has ambiguity which softens the blow. Active rejection is unambiguous and embarrassing.
Kind of, but the rejection has lost it's sting because it's passive rather than active. Passive rejection has ambiguity which softens the blow. Active rejection is unambiguous and embarrassing.
OP
OP
But it also confirms that the issue goes beyond communication and into drive. Which is important information for addressing the problem.
I get it. Taking initiative is hard, especially after repeated rejection. There are probably some relationships where this would be helpful. But yeah, putting it in an app makes way more sense.
I get it. Taking initiative is hard, especially after repeated rejection. There are probably some relationships where this would be helpful. But yeah, putting it in an app makes way more sense.
Speaking as someone in a long term relationship which developed this specific complex around mismatched libidos and rejection, I doubt the button would help in a way that couldn't be preferably superseded by therapy or other means, but I can tell you that the problem can be very real, and need not indicate existential instability in the partnership, or poor sex. It kind of sucks to see people posturing about it, although I do get that it might be hard to imagine the relevant conditions that might necessitate this sort of intervention without direct experience of them.
I'm actually sympathetic to the idea. People who scoff at a lack of communication don't seem to get the communication is the actual problem. Outside of the Era bubble where all men have 20" orgasmatrons and women are DTF three times a day, a lot (I want to say the vast majority) of relationships have a huge imbalance in libido. Talking about it mostly only makes it worse. The one partner feels rejected and sexually frustrated, the other partner feels like it's never enough and the partner only wants them for their body. Since in 90% of the cases talking about it doesn't lead to sex, it only sharpens this divide.
So this way of talking about it without imposing is a pretty good idea, I just don't see anyone who feels pressured in their sex life install such a thing that reinforces the problem. An app is probably better.
So this way of talking about it without imposing is a pretty good idea, I just don't see anyone who feels pressured in their sex life install such a thing that reinforces the problem. An app is probably better.
Is it really?
Like negatively judged isn't necessary to the rejection. So let's just look at the rejection - it's at least communication, a conversation, resolution to a point
I don't really see how a person's libido or sexual needs being straight up ignored day in day out by a partner is all that much better to be honest
Obviously this doesn't take into account the way in which someone is rejected (IE, if they're are unpleasant, manipulative, vindictive, etc - then that's obviously basically abuse at that point, not rejection)
Like negatively judged isn't necessary to the rejection. So let's just look at the rejection - it's at least communication, a conversation, resolution to a point
I don't really see how a person's libido or sexual needs being straight up ignored day in day out by a partner is all that much better to be honest
Obviously this doesn't take into account the way in which someone is rejected (IE, if they're are unpleasant, manipulative, vindictive, etc - then that's obviously basically abuse at that point, not rejection)
If they don't, they don't feel like sex, problem solved.
But it's not that simple. The supposed "awkwardness" of asking your chosen life partner if they want to have sex will be replaced by the real, nightmarish awkwardness of trying to find a polite way to ask them if they've misplaced their button.
Come to think of it, asking my wife if I can help her to find her button would be a guaranteed way to let her know what I'd like to do. Laughter is a great aphrodisiac.
But it's not that simple. The supposed "awkwardness" of asking your chosen life partner if they want to have sex will be replaced by the real, nightmarish awkwardness of trying to find a polite way to ask them if they've misplaced their button.
Come to think of it, asking my wife if I can help her to find her button would be a guaranteed way to let her know what I'd like to do. Laughter is a great aphrodisiac.
Judging by their graph, it doesn't seem like this is made for people who aren't having sex or aren't communicating, like many seem to assume from the comments.
It's basically assuming in a healthy relationship people are going to be having sex when at least one person is really in the mood and the other person is at least somewhat in the mood. Their hypothesis is that there is a whole "zone" that intersects where both people have at least an interest in having sex but it just doesn't happen. I assume this would also be for long term relationships where people are busy or maybe regular sex is infrequent to where a chance to sync up when both people are at least moderately in the mood would mean more frequent sex, hypothetically as long as they are in the mood enough to press the button.
I can at least see the purpose behind it and can imagine scenarios where it could potentially help couples get past that slightly awkward bit of interaction that might routinely discourage some intimacy. This is all assuming they have a baseline of a healthy-ish relationship to begin with.
I can at least see the purpose behind it and can imagine scenarios where it could potentially help couples get past that slightly awkward bit of interaction that might routinely discourage some intimacy. This is all assuming they have a baseline of a healthy-ish relationship to begin with.
Do this, but in an app. And link people through a number that you can display on your shirt or something. That way you see some random person you like on the street, you press the button on your phone with person's number, and if the person does the same with your number there's a match and you can bone.
To be fair, ResetEra is populated by large penised men with partners who are so horny they actually want sex too much so I understand why anyone who would maybe benefit from this would be seen as a weirdo loser by the community. Also make sure to ridicule anyone who wouldn’t use this themselves but sees no harm in it.