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Martin Freeman (The Hobbit, Fargo) openly discusses hitting his two children and referring to them as "little f**kers" [see staff post]

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Kalmakov

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Edit: Other source was banned, here's a better one https://www.thetimes.co.uk/edition/news/martin-freeman-admits-smacking-his-children-lmkgk5qrj

Actor Martin Freeman has admitted he smacked his son, 14, and daughter, 11, and called them 'little f***ers' when they were younger.

The Hobbit actor, 48, said he'd smacked his children Joe and Grace twice and sworn at them more than twice.
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'I know I'm not supposed to do it, but there are so many images about how (parenting) all just has to be brilliant that it makes people feel bad,' he said in a candid interview with The Sunday Times.
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'I'm not proud I did that, but I have. I don't think it's a policy. And I'll do it again!'
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What the fuck? Dude seems so nonchalant about it too.
 
Joffy

Joffy

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Oct 30, 2017
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Yeah I read this a few days ago and he just kinda seemed fucking proud of it. Sucks.
 

Alder

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Jan 4, 2020
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User banned (1 week): Advocating child abuse
99% of children who have ever lived have been physically disciplined by their parents. As long as it isn't part of a larger cycle of abuse, getting a smack and being called an asshole when they deserve it is not going to damage a child.
 
Mendrox

Mendrox

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Oct 26, 2017
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Martin please.

Alder said:
99% of children who have ever lived have been physically disciplined by their parents. As long as it isn't part of a larger cycle of abuse, getting a smack and being called an asshole when they deserve it is not going to damage a child.
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Here we go again. No this is shit attitude. My Mum hit me once (not in the face, my ass) when I did something really really bad and she didn't know how to handle the situation - I was afraid of her for a bit and she apologized so there is that.

Don't hit children. At all. Yes there are little shits, but there is always a way to do it differently.
 
Dan Thunder

Dan Thunder

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Nov 2, 2017
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Just a weird article as he goes on about how you're not supposed to hit your kids but freely admits he has done. I also have an issue with this quote:

"This idea you only ever rationalise with a toddler? Genuinely, good luck. If you can do that, God go with you. Amazing."

It's almost as though the inference is that the binary options are calmly explain and rationalise with your child or on the flip side hit them. As is the same for any parent there are times when he was younger I could have throttled my son but you take a step back or put them in their room or on a step or something else. There are countless ways to discipline a toddler without resorting to hitting them.

Also, not sure where he's got the idea of having to be a perfect parent comes from. I know lots of people with kids and even before we had our own I'd never expect raising a child to be in any way easy.
 
SoulBrothaNum2

SoulBrothaNum2

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May 17, 2018
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Alder said:
99% of children who have ever lived have been physically disciplined by their parents. As long as it isn't part of a larger cycle of abuse, getting a smack and being called an asshole when they deserve it is not going to damage a child.
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right... a tired parent being annoyed and calling their kids "little fuckers" (not to their faces) isn't the worst fucking thing in the world. and as long as the discipline doesn't venture into acutal abuse- i don't see the issue
 

Alder

Member
Jan 4, 2020
38
HazySaiyan said:
Continuing that cycle of abuse and smacking your kids kinda proves otherwise doesn't it?
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I don't believe that in most cases, it is abuse. If you're beating up your kids regularly, or making them feel scared of you, or doing anything else psychologically damaging, you're an awful person and an awful parent. But rapping a kids arm when they're being naughty is completely normal, and not abusive.
 
Gemüsepizza

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Oct 26, 2017
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'I know I'm not supposed to do it, but there are so many images about how (parenting) all just has to be brilliant that it makes people feel bad,'
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Aww, it makes him feel bad that he isn't supposed to hit his kids.

Alder said:
99% of children who have ever lived have been physically disciplined by their parents. As long as it isn't part of a larger cycle of abuse, getting a smack and being called an asshole when they deserve it is not going to damage a child.
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Why are you justifying child abuse with made-up statistics?
 
T002 Tyrant

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Nov 8, 2018
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I am disappointed in him.

On a semi-related anecdote, my dad hit me once, but that's because I was about to place my palm a very hot iron. I think because he felt he didn't have time to raise his voice or something. He never did it before and he never did it again. I think he knew it was wrong and regretted it.
 
TechnicPuppet

TechnicPuppet

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Oct 28, 2017
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SMD said:
Martin Freeman is a piece of shit, he has a history of terrible opinions.



I'm assuming if they're a massive shit or playing with fire (literally). I wouldn't do it myself but I suppose you'd smack a toddler's hand if they were trying to stick it into a power socket?
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If you can smack it you can push it away.
 
HazySaiyan

HazySaiyan

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Oct 25, 2017
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West Yorkshire, UK
Alder said:
I don't believe that in most cases, it is abuse. If you're beating up your kids regularly, or making them feel scared of you, or doing anything else psychologically damaging, you're an awful person and an awful parent. But rapping a kids arm when they're being naughty is completely normal, and not abusive.
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But it shouldn't be normal, physical violence no matter how 'slight' isn't ok, and to think it's normal usually means you've grown up with it and it isn't right.
 

Alder

Member
Jan 4, 2020
38
Gemüsepizza said:
Aww, it makes him feel bad that he isn't supposed to hit his kids.



Why are you justifying child abuse with made-up statistics?
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Obviously 99% is not intended to be a scientific figure. But this viewpoint that parents can never touch their children to punish them is a completely modern and frankly Western-centric approach. At least in my experiences, and the experiences of the people I grew up with, we were all spanked at least once in our lives, and it didn't damage our relationships with our parents at all.
 

Alder

Member
Jan 4, 2020
38
DennyDifferent said:
If "99%" of kids get hit and it's "completely normal" then how come I don't know anyone who's hit their kids or been hit as kids?...
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I can't speak to your experiences, but I can say that as someone from the same country as Freeman, who is not that much older than his children, what he did is completely commonplace.
 
Good4Squat

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Nov 2, 2017
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SMD said:
Martin Freeman is a piece of shit, he has a history of terrible opinions.



I'm assuming if they're a massive shit or playing with fire (literally). I wouldn't do it myself but I suppose you'd smack a toddler's hand if they were trying to stick it into a power socket?
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That isn't punishment though, that is trying to save them from danger. Quite a big difference there.
 
Amalthea

Amalthea

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Dec 22, 2017
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Alder said:
99% of children who have ever lived have been physically disciplined by their parents. As long as it isn't part of a larger cycle of abuse, getting a smack and being called an asshole when they deserve it is not going to damage a child.
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And then look how 99% of all people that ever lived had turned out. Everyone was so nice to each other that most history books are full of sunshine, jellybeans and unicorns vomiting rainbows.
 
hjort

hjort

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Nov 9, 2017
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Don't fucking hit children, goddamnit. Even if you were to dismiss all the research pointing out the risks of corporal punishment, there are evidently perfectly fine ways of raising children that do not involve any form of violence whatsoever, so anyone who advocates hitting kids anyway has just chosen to be a fucking arsehole.
 
Prine

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User Banned (1 week): Advocating child abuse.
I have no issues with that. If its a tap on the hand or a pat on the bum. Never the face though. But I find locking them in a room to be quite effective.
 
Spacejaws

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Oct 27, 2017
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I got smacked once because I got upset my dad said I was too fat for him to play horsey with me and gave my brother horsey time instead and I covered the entire bedroom floor in paint I found.

I uh kinda deserved it I think. I was 24 though.
 
Wamapoke

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Apr 11, 2018
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Hope this means I won't get to hear his voice and see his mug on 50% of all adverts from this point forward.
 
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    • Redcrayon

    Redcrayon

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    Official Staff Communication

    From the general guide to ResetEra:
    "Child Welfare
    Do not attempt to rationalize violence against children, disciplinary or otherwise. Advocating for or defending any kind of child abuse is not tolerated. Your own upbringing is not relevant to this policy."
     
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    • Alder

    Member
    Jan 4, 2020
    38
    Amalthea said:
    And then look how 99% of all people that ever lived had turned out. Everyone was so nice to each other that most history books are full of sunshine, jellybeans and unicorns vomiting rainbows.
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    I think it's a bit disingenuous to imply that 99% of people who ever lived were horrible or abusive because they gave their kid a smack for doing something bad.

    Prine said:
    I have no issues with that. If its a tap on the hand on a pat on the bum. Never the face though.
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    Spacejaws said:
    I got smacked once because I got upset my dad said I was too fat for him to play horsey with me and gave my brother horsey time instead and I covered the entire bedroom floor in paint I found.

    I uh kinda deserved it I think. I was 24 though.
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    This is what I'm talking about. Parents are not perfect people, they get tired, they lose their patience. A smack on a kid's ass for touching a fire or throwing paint on the floor is not abuse.

    EDIT: this post was made before the staff communication. In light of it, I think I'll leave this topic.
     
    DennyDifferent

    DennyDifferent

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    Oct 27, 2017
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    Alder said:
    I can't speak to your experiences, but I can say that as someone from the same country as Freeman, who is not that much older than his children, what he did is completely commonplace.
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    Well, I'm much older than you (I'm 36) but I am from the UK and from one of the most working-class parts of Barnsley at that. Very much a "pit" family (my Dad worked down the mines until a few years ago).
     
    Serene

    Serene

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    Speaking from only my own personal experience, the idea that physical punishment "has no long-term effect" is bullshit. It happened to me as a kid and now when I watch my nephews I catch myself wanting to do it and feel like shit. And once or twice I have done it instinctually and felt awful about it. And the reason why that's my go-to solution is because it was done to me. And breaking myself of that instinct and trying to find other ways to handle things is difficult sometimes because I don't always have the points of reference from my own childhood.
     
    Dan Thunder

    Dan Thunder

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    Nov 2, 2017
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    Alder said:
    I can't speak to your experiences, but I can say that as someone from the same country as Freeman, who is not that much older than his children, what he did is completely commonplace.
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    I'm from the UK and I completely disagree with that. I don't know anyone who thinks it's acceptable to hit kids and I'm in the age group where my friends and people I work with have kids that are or have not long been young children.
     
    ShadowAUS

    ShadowAUS

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    T002 Tyrant said:
    I am disappointed in him.

    On a semi-related anecdote, my dad hit me once, but that's because I was about to place my palm a very hot iron. I think because he felt he didn't have time to raise his voice or something.     He never did it before and he never did it again. I think he knew it was wrong and regretted it.
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    This is fine I think, at least for me personally - if a child is about to do something imminently harmful to themselves or others and you feel that you don't have the time to tell them to stop and explain why it's bad, then physically stopping the act, i.e hitting their hand away, pulling them out of the way etc, make sense as long as it's apologized for and you then go on to explain why you had to stop them doing what they were doing and why it's a bad thing. Sometimes time is just not your side in these situations and you have to rely on instinct and reactions.

    As long as violence or the threat of violence isn't being used as a tool of punishment. The second it goes into punishment territory is when I consider it abusive and I lose all respect for you as a parent. There is literally no situation where physical violence or the threat of it is needed when raising a child, every situation anyone could come up with could be solved better with non-violent methods. It's been proven time and time again that corporal punishment AT BEST is a very suboptimal form of punishment that is better served by other methods and at worst can do massive damage to things like trust and mental health (not even mentioning potential physical damage).
     
    AdamE

    AdamE

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    Hitting your child is always about asserting your dominance and authority.
    If you end up doing it because you lost your temper then you're a craven piece of shit.
    I know a lot of children of immigrants kinda wax lyrical about their experiences being beaten and yes it can be amusing to talk about past experiences as a way to relate to others.

    But if you're still advocating it then don't ever have kids. Or animals as well.
     

    Deleted member 8852

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    Oct 26, 2017
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    Don't hit your kids, yes they can be annoying but don't hit your kids.

    T002 Tyrant said:
    I am disappointed in him.

    On a semi-related anecdote, my dad hit me once, but that's because I was about to place my palm a very hot iron. I think because he felt he didn't have time to raise his voice or something. He never did it before and he never did it again. I think he knew it was wrong and regretted it.
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    That's fine isn't it, he didn't hit you as a punishment but to prevent you from seriously harming yourself.
     

    Deleted member 29237

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    The only circumstance where I can think it could be appropriate to smack a child would be as an example of what it feels like if they are hitting other people and don't understand that it is causing pain, but even then it wouldn't feel right.

    As someone smacked when they were younger, there were several situations I can remember where it was due to a misunderstanding and it definitely gave me some confidence and trust issues. Certainly it's not something any parent should feel proud of.
     
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