My wife suffers from pretty debilitating anxiety which has had an effect on her life, my life, our relationship, but anxiety medication has really been a godsend when it's the right dosage. It doesn't eliminate anxiety, and she's still an anxious person, but it helps control it so that she can be a thriving, happy, successful person. WHile I know you're looking for alternatives to anxiety medication, I can vouch that the right dosage of anxiety medication, plus therapy and a healthy living environment, can really help move someone along to a path of a fulfilling, happy life.
She was on a fairly strong regiment of effexor for years, but recently cut that in half because we're expecting. Effexor is very difficult to draw down from, and so she had to step down gradually and that wasn't totally easy, but she did it, and she's done really well on the lower dose.
She also regularly exercises, does yoga, goes to talk therapy with her therapist/psychologist, and she really sticks to a routine... which is both a symptom of the anxiety and something that is "normal" that helps her act out her anxiety. It's not always healthy, sometimes it's simply not healthy, but sometimes I'll try to gently reminder her... "that might not be a good thing to focus on..." and she'll get the hint and then over time work it down. The schedule thing borders a bit on obsessive compulsive, but it's a manifestation of anxiety.
Also, I'll probably get criticized by some for saying this... but my wife was a regular, daily marijuana smoker for ... years. Since as long as we've known each other, and it did not help. When she became pregnant, she cut out marijuana completely, and while she doesn't intend to quit for the rest of her life, regular marijuana use made her much more anxious, even though she always insisted it did the opposite, I could witness it first hand. I have nothing against marijuana, smoke occasionally (rarely these days) myself, but the jury is out on whether prolonged marijuana use can help or hurt with anxiety and it can change depending on the person... for her, I think it hurt. For others it may be different, but I have another close friend who echoed the same about himself (who was a regular, daily smoker, highly anxious person on a prescription for anxiety). Obviously two anecdotes don't make a scientific conclusion, but I'd be open to it.
