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Mental Health ERA |OT| You are not Alone

Oct 26, 2017
4,212
0
Florida
Have a nice thanksgiving. I had a friend extend an invite but I don't feel like im in quite the shape to make it. Maybe. idk. I'm not alone here, tho. I'm thankful for that. I'll certainly be on here tomorrow.
If you change your mind and start to feel better, do not be afraid of accepting that invitation or even just dropping by to say Happy Thanksgiving to them!
 
Oct 25, 2017
907
0
I have no carreer and i have to work like crazy. I had to out of work mid day yesterday and i cant make it in today. Im toast.

How long have you been at that job? Do you get some relief when you start a new one?
ive been with my job for a long ass time. i have no career no love life, no life. i am just working to pay off debt. even if i die and end up in limbo it would be better than this. just knowing i am an ugly horrible person no one wants to be with is just painful enough. being dead all my emotions and feelings will be gone.
 
Oct 27, 2017
371
0
First Thanksgiving in a long time my family isn't having some gathering. My friend from work invited me to his families but that just feels to awkward for me to go. He's going to drop by afterwards and chill for awhile so I won't be totally alone all day tomorrow. Even still I have been really down more so than usual lately. This is the best time in my life I finally have a car, my own place and dates set up for potential relationships....yet I can't seem to enjoy it all.
 
Oct 26, 2017
6,007
0
ive been with my job for a long ass time. i have no career no love life, no life. i am just working to pay off debt. even if i die and end up in limbo it would be better than this. just knowing i am an ugly horrible person no one wants to be with is just painful enough. being dead all my emotions and feelings will be gone.
I'm listening. Working makes things so much harder. Theres like no energy left to even take care of yourself. :<
 
Oct 27, 2017
371
0
I'm listening. Working makes things so much harder. Theres like no energy left to even take care of yourself. :<
Then there's the position at work I applied for that I won't find out if I got it till Monday so that's added stress. I am thankful though for all that has happened to me recently. My self 3 years ago couldn't imagine me living the life I am living now. It just all happened so suddenly to that I'm still kind of processing that I am where I am because I deserve it, I've worked hard to get here. I'm going to enjoy it, depression be damned.
 
Oct 26, 2017
6,007
0
Then there's the position at work I applied for that I won't find out if I got it till Monday so that's added stress. I am thankful though for all that has happened to me recently. My self 3 years ago couldn't imagine me living the life I am living now. It just all happened so suddenly to that I'm still kind of processing that I am where I am because I deserve it, I've worked hard to get here. I'm going to enjoy it, depression be damned.
I got stuck waiting on stuff over the break, too. Just as well because Im still really like... Tired and confused. I had a really dramatic day yesterday.
 
Oct 27, 2017
927
0
So I think I have a mental illness because I seem to have wild mood swings. My lows are very low and my highs are very high.

I've thought long and hard about my lows and highs the past few days. My highs seem to not be justified. I have these days where I look at myself in the mirror and love what I see. Where I am swelling with confidence and feeling good about my chances in the dating game. I think "I will talk to that girl today - because why not?"

Same with my lows - they seem to be unjustified. I get back down and don't like what I see in the mirror and think "I have to cut more calories and get a leaner chest - I have to run extra hard today. And don't even think of talking to that girl". What I want more than anything in the world is a partner - a girlfriend / significant other. And when I strike out that makes me feel pretty bad - but sometimes I feel bad even though I have a week where I haven't tried to go after a girl at all.

This is going to be a stupid question - but is it possible to feel depressed even when you don't have an objectively negative event triggering your depression? For example, the past six months I've had a huge lack of success in the dating game, and that has led to a lot of days of me feeling down. But there are some weeks where I don't attempt to date, and during those break periods I swing between happy and sad for seemingly no reason.

I haven't made a trip to my family doctor yet, but I do plan on doing so eventually to talk about mental illness and get some kind of referral.
 
Oct 26, 2017
6,007
0
ive been with my job for a long ass time. i have no career no love life, no life. i am just working to pay off debt. even if i die and end up in limbo it would be better than this. just knowing i am an ugly horrible person no one wants to be with is just painful enough. being dead all my emotions and feelings will be gone.

Yep. Same.

I should off myself soon.
I felt suicidal once for a few months. It was terrible.
 
Oct 26, 2017
4,212
0
Florida
Sometimes I feel like some people just aren't mean to succeed in life, and I'm one of those people lol
Yep. Same.

I should off myself soon.
Success demands failure.

There is no set amount of times you need to fall short in order to come up big. And in order to succeed, all you need is one big win, even if you lose 1000 times straight.

Some find it later in life, others earlier, some never do. But success is whatever you really want it to be imo, if you are comparing yourselves in a negative light to other people in your life that you perceive to be successful, you will do nothing but rob yourself of happiness and stay where you are. To me, success is a few things but I'll focus on one thing in this case: nonstop personal growth. Like anything in life, you will have set backs trying to grow, you will get stuck trying to grow, and most of all you will sometimes feel lost or misguided.

I am currently reading a book, "The Five Secrets You Must Discover Before You Die" (lol, not as depressing as it sounds). And the common theme I seem to be finding throughout the book, is that most people later in life seem to agree that relationships were among most important things in life. Not money, belongings, fame, or whatever other people consider to be "success."

Robin Williams and Anthony Bourdain are about as successful as any one person could ever hope to be, but the biggest tragedy that we've come to find in these two men was how alone they felt in their final days on Earth (perhaps they've felt this way even longer than that). Saddest part was when I knew exactly how they felt when people would question it all, "they were rich, they had everything, why would they kill themselves?" My mind rushed to several scenarios, "did they feel loved? Did people use them for their success? Did they never recover from some sort of heartbreak or loss? Were they being true to themselves? Did they lose meaning in their lives?" It's an excruciating mental pain that some people can never fully understand, but also a very harsh truth about the way we view success versus what actually makes us happy/at peace/content.
 
Oct 28, 2017
877
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27
Family made fun of me all Thanksgiving. No one cares about my abuse, no one wants or is going to help me. I have no family, all I have is the cptsd. So it's clear when I finally do move out from my mother, who has abused me and neglected me all this time. We arent getting a home for her, I'm expected to stay in my abuse for the rest of my adult life taking care of someone who fucked me up.

So what the fuck do I do, just once I save up the money drive off and say "not my problem" she cant take care of herself. I got C-PTSD god damn it and I don't have a single fucking person that gives a shit about my position. FUCK
 
Oct 27, 2017
371
0
Family made fun of me all Thanksgiving. No one cares about my abuse, no one wants or is going to help me. I have no family, all I have is the cptsd. So it's clear when I finally do move out from my mother, who has abused me and neglected me all this time. We arent getting a home for her, I'm expected to stay in my abuse for the rest of my adult life taking care of someone who fucked me up.

So what the fuck do I do, just once I save up the money drive off and say "not my problem" she cant take care of herself. I got C-PTSD god damn it and I don't have a single fucking person that gives a shit about my position. FUCK
I am sorry that they made fun of you. It's a very stressful thing being in a situation with no perceived easy way out or just any way out really. I know I care about your position and if you ever want to talk you can PM me.
 
Apr 12, 2018
1,720
0
Family made fun of me all Thanksgiving. No one cares about my abuse, no one wants or is going to help me. I have no family, all I have is the cptsd. So it's clear when I finally do move out from my mother, who has abused me and neglected me all this time. We arent getting a home for her, I'm expected to stay in my abuse for the rest of my adult life taking care of someone who fucked me up.

So what the fuck do I do, just once I save up the money drive off and say "not my problem" she cant take care of herself. I got C-PTSD god damn it and I don't have a single fucking person that gives a shit about my position. FUCK
There are good people out there. They are sometimes hard to find amid all the trash which can be so loud and overwhelming at times. I’ve found it’s better to be alone than to tolerate stuff like you’re describing. Also, getting a dog pretty much saved my life. After feeling alone for so long, to feel that unconditional love... it really helped me to keep going long enough to get out of the worst parts of my head. Idk if that’s a feasible thing for you , but sometimes when humans constantly let us down...
 
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Oct 28, 2017
877
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27
There are good people out there. They are sometimes hard to find amid all the trash which can be so loud and overwhelming at times. I’ve found it’s better to be alone than to tolerate stuff like you’re describing. Also, getting a dog pretty much saved my life. After feeling alone for so long, to feel that unconditional love... it really helped me to keep going long enough to get out of the worst parts of my head. Idk if that’s a feasible thing for you , but sometimes when humans constantly let us down...
I can't, I can't do anything until I'm actually out of this hell hole. All I can do now is save money from work and leave but even then theres so much attached to that. My mother's disabled, I'm paying off student loans, my grandmother is dieing and I'm expected to stay. It's just not simple no matter what I do, there's no way I'm not going to be eaten alive for any way of handling this.

I'm 27 years old and my entire life has been self hatred and guilt, I just don't know how the hell I handle it when the rest of my family views this as funny and me as a punching bag.
 
Apr 12, 2018
1,720
0
I can't, I can't do anything until I'm actually out of this hell hole. All I can do now is save money from work and leave but even then theres so much attached to that. My mother's disabled, I'm paying off student loans, my grandmother is dieing and I'm expected to stay. It's just not simple no matter what I do, there's no way I'm not going to be eaten alive for any way of handling this.

I'm 27 years old and my entire life has been self hatred and guilt, I just don't know how the hell I handle it when the rest of my family views this as funny and me as a punching bag.
This isn’t easy to just say but, love is earned man. Family can be toxic too, it’s your life and if you see a way to start it over then take it. You know what this path looks like and how it isn’t going to change. You have to do what is
Best for your well being, even if that means letting go of certain things that have always been there
 
Oct 28, 2017
877
0
27
This isn’t easy to just say but, love is earned man. Family can be toxic too, it’s your life and if you see a way to start it over then take it. You know what this path looks like and how it isn’t going to change. You have to do what is
Best for your well being, even if that means letting go of certain things that have always been there
I'm learning that's what I'll have to do, but shell also die without me. I have to choose myself over everything thats been forced on me. Like it's what I have to do and I know it but god damn what it means
 
Apr 12, 2018
1,720
0
I'm learning that's what I'll have to do, but shell also die without me. I have to choose myself over everything thats been forced on me. Like it's what I have to do and I know it but god damn what it means
If that’s the case, it’s one of those things that you have to start to come to terms with ASAP. You CAN start another ACT in your life but you can let the past be an anchor, it has to be a total break.
It sounds like you’ve already thrown away years of potential happiness or at least growth ( I know what that’s like ) due to allowing yourself to tolerate certain things .
You have no one to answer to but yourself , go be a good person to people who will appreciate it and return the good
 
Oct 26, 2017
4,212
0
Florida
I'm learning that's what I'll have to do, but shell also die without me. I have to choose myself over everything thats been forced on me. Like it's what I have to do and I know it but god damn what it means
Putting yourself first is so so hard, and as I am typing it's something I struggle with immensely.

Sometimes you have to do right by you in order to help or do right by others. My self esteem issues have caused me to fall into a bunch of different codependent behaviors in friendship and relationships. It's always important to sort your own issues out, even if it means being a bit selfish with your time. Do not worry too much about the type reaction you receive from your family at the moment, take your time.
 
Oct 27, 2017
816
0
Does anyone know how to deal with helicopter parents?
I'm 26 already and I feel absolutely stuck in life because of them.
I feel like they are holding me back and I can't grow and be my best self when I have them in my life.
I know this is probably a fucked up thing to say about my parents, but I also feel like that is the truth.
 

Hey

Member
Feb 19, 2018
993
0
Does anyone know how to deal with helicopter parents?
I'm 26 already and I feel absolutely stuck in life because of them.
I feel like they are holding me back and I can't grow and be my best self when I have them in my life.
I know this is probably a fucked up thing to say about my parents, but I also feel like that is the truth.
The only way possible I think is when you move out from their home and start paying your own bills.

If you already doing that and they still control you then talk to them be more transparent of how you feel they treat you.
 
hey guys, it’s been rough. this is my first thanksgiving away from home, and i thought it’d be more liberating than this... but it’s not. super lonely, honestly. most of my friends went home with their familes. their normal families. they’re having huge feasts back home, and i’m out here eating ramen, ‘cause it’s cheap. kind of sucks.

i’m amazed i’ve been juggling everything so well, especially with bpd thrown into it, but i still feel like a mess. i don’t know why. it’s for so many reasons. someone, out there, might not like me, or secretly think i don’t belong here. my family’s a dumpster fire that just keeps on burning. the world’s a trash heap and there’s nothing i can do about it. haven’t heard back from my job, which i definitely didn’t get, because i’m a walking disaster. no one’s talked to me for five minutes.

and bpd. that too.

the stigma surrounding bpd is so scary. i wish i hadn’t looked. i read all this stuff online and feel like a monster, like i should die — even though most of my anger gets taken out on myself. but still, i don’t want anyone to know. i hate feeling like that because i’m usually the number on advocate for mental illness being visible. but i don’t want people to hate me. can’t live if people hate me.

my therapy is doing a lot of good, i know i’m improving a lot, but on the inside, i’m still being eaten alive. i don’t act on those feelings — but i still feel that way. how do i stop feeling like this? will i ever stop feeling like this?

sorry, aha, not sure if any of this makes any sense.
 
Oct 28, 2017
1,704
0
As someone on the spectrum, I've found the book Nonviolent Communication useful.
More specifically, it teaches you to "Observe without Evaluating" where you look at what is happening, how you're feeling in response to it but not labeling that circumstance. It helps me get a better perspective on things and keeps me calm while recognizing my emotions.

I've also been listening to my therapist's hypnotherapy CDs recently. I say that I've noticed significant effects to my mood and productivity after a couple of months of using them. As long as I keep using them, I think, the more they'll stay in there.
 
Oct 29, 2017
285
0
Germany
Just wanted to vent a bit.
Ive been trying to get my shit together for idk, the last 5+ years or so always with the goal fixing my career and going to therapy so I can work on getting my mental health under control. With the latter actually being what I most looked forward to and now that Ive got everything in order to confidently say I would go there and fix myself, I would even go as far and say that Ive been actually decently motivated to do that... So I went to a therapist recently, which all went perfectly good for me until ive been told at the end that theres a waiting list which is going to make me wait over a year or up to two years for treatment.
I live in a small town so there arent that many options without them being really far away.
Im definitely going to wait that long but fuck, that is really getting to me the last couple days.
Im so sick of waiting...
 
Oct 26, 2017
4,212
0
Florida
Things I did today:

Deep deep introspection.

Finding ways to value myself.

Staying at ease with my thoughts and mindset.

Detaching from my negative thoughts in order to get some work done. More on this: there is a Buddhist teaching that says we shouldn't try to control or repress our thoughts, mental images, fears, feelings, and emotions. But instead we should detach when necessary, and view them as a neutral observer. Only then can you better understand yourself; there is you, then there are your thoughts. I've put some of this into practice today and I've been feeling pretty good. I have been looking at myself in a different light and not viewing myself through the lens of my depression and better separating myself from it. Not trying to get ahead of myself, but I'm at a good place mentally right now. My situation is not ideal, but I am in a better place, and am going to try my best to keep it up.

I also chased one of my cats with the vacuum while cleaning the house today.

Yeah I think im just gonna save up and move out. 3k is my magic number and I'm on my way
You got this!
 
Oct 27, 2017
862
0
27
Brazil
Guess I might as well scream at the void too. Today I hit my limit and started cutting myself. I'm stuck in this weird online relationship, where someone loved me and I them, but they don't anymore. I just can't stop thinking about them, and trying to talk to them, and it hurts so much every day. Sometimes I wish I was dead, so I began cutting myself to help with the pain.
 
Things I did today:

Deep deep introspection.

Finding ways to value myself.

Staying at ease with my thoughts and mindset.

Detaching from my negative thoughts in order to get some work done. More on this: there is a Buddhist teaching that says we shouldn't try to control or repress our thoughts, mental images, fears, feelings, and emotions. But instead we should detach when necessary, and view them as a neutral observer. Only then can you better understand yourself; there is you, then there are your thoughts. I've put some of this into practice today and I've been feeling pretty good. I have been looking at myself in a different light and not viewing myself through the lens of my depression and better separating myself from it. Not trying to get ahead of myself, but I'm at a good place mentally right now. My situation is not ideal, but I am in a better place, and am going to try my best to keep it up.

I also chased one of my cats with the vacuum while cleaning the house today.
I want to study Buddhism to feel at peace with myself, but I honestly don't know where to begin. It just feels right.
Yeah I think im just gonna save up and move out. 3k is my magic number and I'm on my way
I am also doing this exact thing. The goal is at least by next summer I can move.
I don't hate my family, but I feel like I should be away from them and do things on my own and I kind of want to go back to my home state and work on my passions. Work is frustrating so I won't miss that one bit and I've thought several times about walking out just to cross one stressful thing off my mental list. But I still need it to get that money.
You only have one life and I already feel like I wasted a good chunk of it. Might as well move.
 
Oct 28, 2017
55
0
Finally seeking help after years of dealing with anxiety and an unhealthy fear of commitment and "good" risk-taking: socializing, opportunities for career advancement, etc. Valuing myself too much on my research work, and almost falling into despair whenever I hit roadblocks in my research. I've always downplayed my own problems as "not that bad" since the down periods never seemed to last, but there was always something missing in my life.

I think seeing a close relative recover from their struggles with depression and anxiety, after CBT sessions with a therapist + citalopram, helped me make the decision to look for therapy too. It's a bit of a hassle navigating insurance, but one therapist who ended up being out-of-network recommended some good in-network people to contact. Left a voicemail Wednesday, hoping to hear back Monday with the holiday weekend behind us. Even just beginning the process of seeking therapy has made me feel better.

Don't really have anyone to share this with (besides my parents, who have thankfully been very supportive), but ERA's one of the few places I at least lurk/occasionally post, and you all seem like a good bunch.
 
Oct 25, 2017
907
0
Watched the gay korean movie called method and had to turn it off half way. Stirs up so much inside of me. guys like me don't get to meet anyone. i sit and watch others who are assholes but with good looks and body get everything while someone like me is worthless inside and out. i wish i could fly to San Francisco and jump off the golden gate bridge. There really isnt anything worth living for. Am i suppose to stay alive to work a shitty job to pay debt for the rest of my life. death is freedom. i just need to get off at the Willoughby stop.
 
Oct 28, 2017
877
0
27
I am also doing this exact thing. The goal is at least by next summer I can move.
I don't hate my family, but I feel like I should be away from them and do things on my own and I kind of want to go back to my home state and work on my passions. Work is frustrating so I won't miss that one bit and I've thought several times about walking out just to cross one stressful thing off my mental list. But I still need it to get that money.
You only have one life and I already feel like I wasted a good chunk of it. Might as well move.
We got this, let us know how things go. Either way knowing someone else is going through this and doing the same makes me feel really determined.
 
May 31, 2018
2,974
0
Nothing good has happened to me in two fucking years.
I'm a lonely and unlikeable cunt who doesn't deserve fucking shit.
My years of being a dumb fuck has lead to incurable tinnitus.
I'm hurtling towards a career I don't care for (if I even get one) and a life I don't want.
I fucking hate myself.
Fuck.
 
Oct 26, 2017
560
0
I don't know how to adequately express how much I wish I could just give up on life. That small acknowledgement I have for how great it can potentially be keeps me trapped in the cycle of believing I'll at the very least be able to attain a level of contentedness, but my history shows an unbroken record of falling into despair, what reason do I have to believe it will change? Especially when the things that trigger it are often what most people consider good news, I was offered a temporary job on Friday after almost two years of unemployment and it has brought about more negative feelings than good.

I know that desiring an exclusively happy life is unrealistic, that's not what I want. I'm just tired of being a part of this world that I don't feel I'm wired to operate in.

Simultaneously feeling strongly about wanting to live but also not wanting to live here is fucking me up.

Nothing would be lost if I was gone so fuck it.
 
Oct 27, 2017
3
0
Hello, this is my first post on Era after the exodus and I wanted to do this for a very long time.

First of all, to everyone who reads this (and especially those who can't ask for help themselves): it does get better. It sounds cliché, but it's true, even if you don't believe me. During the last 8 years I've wanted to make this post I struggled and overcame many obstacles and while I'm still not at the place where I want to be one very important thing has changed.

I want to wake up in the morning.

Existence can be painful, unbearable at times, but please hold on. Don't give up. Thank you for reading this, even if it made you angry or laugh out in disbelief. Take those emotions and cherish them, they were able to get through the monotony.

Second, I do have a very important issue I need some input on. My depression has receded a lot over the past 3 years and my mood is not that much of a problem anymore. Ritalin is helping me a lot with my ADD symptoms (this is the main reason i can write more than one sentence in one sitting) and with it I can finally do a lot of the things I've learned in therapy.
But one thing is still bothering me. (Let me tell you beforehand: I am well aware these sounds like typical depression symptoms and the solution could be just to wait.)

I can't think as well as I once could. Imagining things is exhausting. I can see but I can't notice things, if that makes sense. Everythings feels off. I'm like 20 IQ points dumber. My reading and listening comprehension is basically non existent and a lot of other things I have noticed over the years. BUT, this is the important part, there a single days where everything works like it should. Those are very, very rare; the last one occured two years ago. Basically, I wake up in the morning and my brain works like it should and like it once did. Then I go to sleep and it's gone the next day.
One time I was able to trigger it through, as mundane as it sounds, stretching and deep breaths for quite some time until I nearly passed out. The back of my head felt like a limb that was waking up and then - everything was fine. Sadly, I couldn't reproduce this.

Neither my therapist nor my doctor know what or why this is. They are hoping this resolves itself and while I'm trusting them I thought it couldn't hurt to ask others with possibly similar experiences for help. So if some of you have any feedback on this I'd greatly appreciate your help.
 
Oct 26, 2017
295
0
Toronto
I see. It's normal to be worried about making mistakes, but everyone makes them at some point. If you make a mistake, it doesn't have to define who you are or follow you around forever. It's just one small part of your life that has no control over you. Would you be willing to read through this link and see if you can recognize any of the thought patterns that might pop up when you're feeling worried? https://www.klearminds.com/blog/cognitive-distortions-thinking-errors-can-cbt-help/
Sorry that i'm late to respond.

I think that the All or Nothing part is really relevant to me, as well as the Fortune Telling aspect. It's really really hard for me to open up sometimes because I'm just scared that others are going to fuck me over. It's happened to me a lot in the past so I'm used to it. And I try, but literally at the first sign of trouble i close up again.

I'm working through it with my therapist right now, but it's still really, really tough.
 
Oct 23, 2018
227
0
I posted this in the "is it normal to hate your job" thread, but I feel like any input I get could be helpful.

I hate my retail job, and I think it's worsening my depression and anxiety. My co workers are mostly great, but it's just so hard to put on a happy face for customers when I feel like total shit. Unfortunately I dont think I'm qualified for much else. The good news is that my schedule is flexible so I can work around school. I would love a job where I don't have to interact with people.
My current job makes me feel like I'm suffocating at times, and it's absolutely worsening my depression and anxiety. I keep missing days, and that leads to a cycle of shame. Fortunately, my boss knows about my struggles and he's kind enough to help me out. I feel like I've identified aspects of the job that I cant stand. Mainly dealing with customers. And having to put on a happy facade. But, I'm worried that I'll just hate any job I get. And with wanting to go back to school, the flexible hours would be really nice. But there are days when I think of doing things, like self harming, to have a "real" reason to get out of going to work. I really just don't know what to do.
 
Oct 26, 2017
4,212
0
Florida
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/...ion/201703/8-steps-improving-your-self-esteem

Remember that you are not your circumstances.
Finally, learning to differentiate between your circumstances and who you are is key to self-worth. “Recognizing inner worth, and loving one’s imperfect self, provide the secure foundation for growth,” says Schiraldi. “With that security, one is free to grow with enjoyment, not fear of failure — because failure doesn’t change core worth.”

We are all born with infinite potential and equal worth as human beings. That we are anything less is a false belief that we have learned over time. Therefore, with hard work and self-compassion, self-destructive thoughts and beliefs can be unlearned. Taking the steps outlined above is a start in the effort to increase self-worth, or as Schiraldi says, to “recognize self-worth. It already exists in each person.”
We are greater than what we suffer.
 
Oct 26, 2017
4,212
0
Florida
Watched the gay korean movie called method and had to turn it off half way. Stirs up so much inside of me. guys like me don't get to meet anyone. i sit and watch others who are assholes but with good looks and body get everything while someone like me is worthless inside and out. i wish i could fly to San Francisco and jump off the golden gate bridge. There really isnt anything worth living for. Am i suppose to stay alive to work a shitty job to pay debt for the rest of my life. death is freedom. i just need to get off at the Willoughby stop.
I do not believe you wish these things at all friend, because just like me who has had suicidal thoughts (very brutal ones at that). I am still here. Why? Because those are just thoughts. They are not facts, they are not always truths, and most of all they aren't real to who we are. Watch other things besides the gay Korean move, watch things that can lift your mood and make you feel better, than things that will make you feel more lonely, Yagyujube.

Go for walks whenever possible, and try to find things to do on your free time. Your depression will constantly convince you that none of those things are worth doing, and will constantly hold you back from being your true self. Do not listen to them, step back, observe, and argue in your favor. Don't be afraid to see movies alone, eat at a restaurant by yourself, or hit up a bookstore. Take interest in yourself and you will get better I promise you.
 
Oct 26, 2017
4,212
0
Florida
So tired, fucking hate myself.

Nothing I do to help works, I am tired.

Glad a lot of people gave up on me. I can kill myself without affecting too many people.
I see you enjoying things on gaming side all the time, stan. To me that says there are an abundance of other things out there that you may be able to find enjoyable.

Do not give in to your thoughts, they are not you. And I know that you have people who love you friend. I know what it feels like to have that lie play in our heads, do not believe it. Try some of the things I mentioned in the post above. You are fine as you are, and we all have the chance to get better.