Mental Health Era |OT2| Community and Understanding

Hawkster

Member
Mar 23, 2019
163
Days pass by and it makes me realize that I feel rather lonely and isolated that I use video games and my PC in general as my coping mechanism.

The worst part is feeling like sharing my passions for certain games (Ubisoft's for instance) is gonna get me reviled and hated.

I dunno, I've just been feeling so isolated lately that I feel like my self worth is getting fragile
 

Sadire

Member
Oct 31, 2017
200
Days pass by and it makes me realize that I feel rather lonely and isolated that I use video games and my PC in general as my coping mechanism.

The worst part is feeling like sharing my passions for certain games (Ubisoft's for instance) is gonna get me reviled and hated.

I dunno, I've just been feeling so isolated lately that I feel like my self worth is getting fragile
Well Ubisoft is garbage.. but share your passion if you want to. There's plenty room for discussions to be had. Sure there's going to be shit posts but loving certain games does not make you an outcast.

Has your isolation started recently or have you always been a bit withdrawn?
Do you have friends to play with?

Edit: I've said something stupid, but I won't remove it.
No need to hide my mistakes.
 
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Lord of Ostia

Member
Oct 27, 2017
11,877
Does anyone here have experience with effectively coping with exposure to triggering news stories/scenes/events? I'm not gonna get into specifics but I have a history of trauma from my childhood and seeing/hearing about similar things can send me into a depressive spiral for anywhere from hours to days at a time, usually accompanied by a flood of traumatic memories and anxiety. I've taken to ignoring triggering threads on here but by that point the damage has pretty much already been done because I've seen the thread title and had to actually enter it in order to put it on ignore, plus you can't hit 'ignore thread' for Movies/TV, the news, or real life.
 

jdstorm

Member
Jan 6, 2018
2,746
Does anyone here have experience with effectively coping with exposure to triggering news stories/scenes/events? I'm not gonna get into specifics but I have a history of trauma from my childhood and seeing/hearing about similar things can send me into a depressive spiral for anywhere from hours to days at a time, usually accompanied by a flood of traumatic memories and anxiety. I've taken to ignoring triggering threads on here but by that point the damage has pretty much already been done because I've seen the thread title and had to actually enter it in order to put it on ignore, plus you can't hit 'ignore thread' for Movies/TV, the news, or real life.
Firstly I just want to apologise if I made anything worse in that other thread. Dealing with trauma is hard. I’m not sure the specifics of your situation, so I can’t comment specifically but it seems to be different for everyone.

Guilt and shame can be a powerful negative force. For me this process looks a bit like this.

Trigger > Relive trauma > feel guilt/shame > wallow > acknowledge feelings > accept the past but remind myself that I am in control of my future, my past will always be a part of who I am, but I get to decide how it defines my future > forgiveness for myself or others > actively choosing to live the life I want > back to normal.

This process leads to a lot of ups and downs. In general what has made it easier for me is to have tethers, things that tie me to my best self as determined by me when I am in a healthy state of mind.

It could be hobbies, routine, treating yourself, people who care for you ect
 

stan_marsh

Member
Oct 25, 2017
5,393
Canada
Well Ubisoft is garbage..
Is this sarcasm?

Days pass by and it makes me realize that I feel rather lonely and isolated that I use video games and my PC in general as my coping mechanism.

The worst part is feeling like sharing my passions for certain games (Ubisoft's for instance) is gonna get me reviled and hated.

I dunno, I've just been feeling so isolated lately that I feel like my self worth is getting fragile
I empathize with this.
Luckily Resetera has a ignore function that I had to force myself to use (usually don't use functions like that...)

Don't stop yourself from sharing your passions, I like Ubisoft.
AC Odyssey is one of my top 5 gotg and Watch_Dogs 2 is probably in the top 3.
Same with Rabbits + Mario, top 10 gotg.

They are actually one of the good developers out there.
They also have helped bolster the development scene here in Canada . They hire a lot.

I can understand people not liking their games but to ignore the good they do is wack.
 
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Sadire

Member
Oct 31, 2017
200
No, not necessarily.

It's important to be able to share your passion with someone, and I'm quite sure that there are others here that share a similar love for similar games.
Any anxiety or fear for liking something you should brush aside, this isn't Real Time with Bill Maher.
You are not childish or less valuable because you like something someone else doesn't.

That's sort of my point.
 

astro

Member
Oct 25, 2017
15,053
No, not necessarily.

It's important to be able to share your passion with someone, and I'm quite sure that there are others here that share a similar love for similar games.
Any anxiety or fear for liking something you should brush aside, this isn't Real Time with Bill Maher.
You are not childish or less valuable because you like something someone else doesn't.

That's sort of my point.
Not really the thread to bring up "ubisoft is garbage" though. You could have made your point whiteout that nonsense.
 

SamWise

Member
Dec 10, 2017
53
Want to vent a little. I was with a friend and his friend and they started talking about relationships and soulmates. Me having never been in a relationship felt pretty depressed afterwards. I’m tired of people saying I will meet someone one day. At this point in life I know no one wants to live with my flaws and ugly face and body. Sad I’m not able to find the courage to end my life.
I would just keep pushing, I'm 27 years old and never been with anyone, hell I never even kissed a girl. We just need to keep pushing and hopefully one day we will find someone.
 

Lord of Ostia

Member
Oct 27, 2017
11,877
Firstly I just want to apologise if I made anything worse in that other thread. Dealing with trauma is hard. I’m not sure the specifics of your situation, so I can’t comment specifically but it seems to be different for everyone.

Guilt and shame can be a powerful negative force. For me this process looks a bit like this.

Trigger > Relive trauma > feel guilt/shame > wallow > acknowledge feelings > accept the past but remind myself that I am in control of my future, my past will always be a part of who I am, but I get to decide how it defines my future > forgiveness for myself or others > actively choosing to live the life I want > back to normal.

This process leads to a lot of ups and downs. In general what has made it easier for me is to have tethers, things that tie me to my best self as determined by me when I am in a healthy state of mind.

It could be hobbies, routine, treating yourself, people who care for you ect
No it's not related to that thread, we were having a good discussion anyway so don't feel bad about that.

Yeah that process you are describing is very familiar to me, except I have a very difficult time moving past the guilt and shame part and wallowing in that, which is probably normal I guess. I do eventually get to the acknowledgement and sort of the acceptance part, but not the forgiveness. Every time this happens to me it wears me down further and further, to the point that I'm not sure how much longer I can really live like this. I know that sounds dire but it is how I end up feeling after these situations.
 

Jombie

The Fallen
Oct 27, 2017
4,700
Alabama
I’m a binge drinker and this is the second day in a row that I feel sick. I had to miss work yesterday because I was extremely ill. I think it’s time that I just quit, as I’m completely incapable of controlling my drinking.
 

Astral

Member
Oct 27, 2017
5,200
I’m a binge drinker and this is the second day in a row that I feel sick. I had to miss work yesterday because I was extremely ill. I think it’s time that I just quit, as I’m completely incapable of controlling my drinking.
That’s awesome that you not only recognized what it’s been doing to you but are beginning to take action to change. Have you checked out Sober Era? The folks there are really supportive and I’m sure you’ll be welcomed. Of course you’re welcome here too.
 

Monkey DTT

Avenger
Oct 28, 2017
1,800
USA West Virginia
Does anyone here have experience with effectively coping with exposure to triggering news stories/scenes/events? I'm not gonna get into specifics but I have a history of trauma from my childhood and seeing/hearing about similar things can send me into a depressive spiral for anywhere from hours to days at a time, usually accompanied by a flood of traumatic memories and anxiety. I've taken to ignoring triggering threads on here but by that point the damage has pretty much already been done because I've seen the thread title and had to actually enter it in order to put it on ignore, plus you can't hit 'ignore thread' for Movies/TV, the news, or real life.
It's a challenge I'm not gonna lie. Its almost impossible to avoid these types of triggers and unfortunately i haven't cracked the code either on how to truly solve it. Ultimately closest ive gone to is just learning how to manage those triggers when they hit. God knows that this forum knows I spiral constantly so if I had advice how to make process easier I'd give it friend.
 

Lord of Ostia

Member
Oct 27, 2017
11,877
It's a challenge I'm not gonna lie. Its almost impossible to avoid these types of triggers and unfortunately i haven't cracked the code either on how to truly solve it. Ultimately closest ive gone to is just learning how to manage those triggers when they hit. God knows that this forum knows I spiral constantly so if I had advice how to make process easier I'd give it friend.
I feel for you, I'm not sure how much longer I can keep living like this. I don't think I do a very good job managing triggers when they happen. What do you do to manage them?
 

Monkey DTT

Avenger
Oct 28, 2017
1,800
USA West Virginia
I feel for you, I'm not sure how much longer I can keep living like this. I don't think I do a very good job managing triggers when they happen. What do you do to manage them?
Spiral for days is what I do haha. Serious answer I'm trying meditation, breathing excerises, and trying my best to follow this guide for escaping my emotional flashbacks. Self care also being very very important.

  1. Say to yourself: "I am having a flashback". Flashbacks take us into a timeless part of the psyche that feels as helpless, hopeless and surrounded by danger as we were in childhood. The feelings and sensations you are experiencing are past memories that cannot hurt you now.
  2. Remind yourself: "I feel afraid but I am not in danger! I am safe now, here in the present." Remember you are now in the safety of the present, far from the danger of the past.
  3. Own your right/need to have boundaries. Remind yourself that you do not have to allow anyone to mistreat you; you are free to leave dangerous situations and protest unfair behavior.
  4. Speak reassuringly to the Inner Child. The child needs to know that you love her unconditionally- that she can come to you for comfort and protection when she feels lost and scared.
  5. Deconstruct eternity thinking: in childhood, fear and abandonment felt endless - a safer future was unimaginable. Remember the flashback will pass as it has many times before.
  6. Remind yourself that you are in an adult body with allies, skills and resources to protect you that you never had as a child. (Feeling small and little is a sure sign of a flashback)
  7. Ease back into your body. Fear launches us into 'heady' worrying, or numbing and spacing out.
    [a] Gently ask your body to Relax: feel each of your major muscle groups and softly encourage them to relax. (Tightened musculature sends unnecessary danger signals to the brain)
    Breathe deeply and slowly. (Holding the breath also signals danger).
    [c] Slow down: rushing presses the psyche's panic button.
    [d] Find a safe place to unwind and soothe yourself: wrap yourself in a blanket, hold a stuffed animal, lie down in a closet or a bath, take a nap.
    [e] Feel the fear in your body without reacting to it. Fear is just an energy in your body that cannot hurt you if you do not run from it or react self-destructively to it.
    [*]Resist the Inner Critic's Drasticizing and Catastrophizing:
    [a] Use thought-stopping to halt its endless exaggeration of danger and constant planning to control the uncontrollable. Refuse to shame, hate or abandon yourself. Channel the anger of self-attack into saying NO to unfair self-criticism.
    Use thought-substitution to replace negative thinking with a memorized list of your qualities and accomplishments
    [*]Allow yourself to grieve. Flashbacks are opportunities to release old, unexpressed feelings of fear, hurt, and abandonment, and to validate - and then soothe - the child's past experience of helplessness and hopelessness. Healthy grieving can turn our tears into self-compassion and our anger into self-protection.
    [*]Cultivate safe relationships and seek support. Take time alone when you need it, but don't let shame isolate you. Feeling shame doesn't mean you are shameful. Educate your intimates about flashbacks and ask them to help you talk and feel your way through them.
    [*]Learn to identify the types of triggers that lead to flashbacks. Avoid unsafe people, places, activities and triggering mental processes. Practice preventive maintenance with these steps when triggering situations are unavoidable.
    [*]Figure out what you are flashing back to. Flashbacks are opportunities to discover, validate and heal our wounds from past abuse and abandonment. They also point to our still unmet developmental needs and can provide motivation to get them met.
    [*]Be patient with a slow recovery process: it takes time in the present to become un-adrenalized, and considerable time in the future to gradually decrease the intensity, duration and frequency of flashbacks. Real recovery is a gradually progressive process (often two steps forward, one step back), not an attained salvation fantasy. Don't beat yourself up for having a flashback.

I also have c-ptsd so idk if that would help with the same type of trama but usually those spirals turn into full emotional flashbacks for me, so it's there if you think it would help.
 
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Lord of Ostia

Member
Oct 27, 2017
11,877
Spiral for days is what I do haha. Serious answer I'm trying meditation, breathing excerises, and trying my best to follow this guide for escaping my emotional flashbacks. Self care also being very very important.
  1. Say to yourself: "I am having a flashback". Flashbacks take us into a timeless part of the psyche that feels as helpless, hopeless and surrounded by danger as we were in childhood. The feelings and sensations you are experiencing are past memories that cannot hurt you now.
  2. Remind yourself: "I feel afraid but I am not in danger! I am safe now, here in the present." Remember you are now in the safety of the present, far from the danger of the past.
  3. Own your right/need to have boundaries. Remind yourself that you do not have to allow anyone to mistreat you; you are free to leave dangerous situations and protest unfair behavior.
  4. Speak reassuringly to the Inner Child. The child needs to know that you love her unconditionally- that she can come to you for comfort and protection when she feels lost and scared.
  5. Deconstruct eternity thinking: in childhood, fear and abandonment felt endless - a safer future was unimaginable. Remember the flashback will pass as it has many times before.
  6. Remind yourself that you are in an adult body with allies, skills and resources to protect you that you never had as a child. (Feeling small and little is a sure sign of a flashback)
  7. Ease back into your body. Fear launches us into 'heady' worrying, or numbing and spacing out.
    [a] Gently ask your body to Relax: feel each of your major muscle groups and softly encourage them to relax. (Tightened musculature sends unnecessary danger signals to the brain)
    Breathe deeply and slowly. (Holding the breath also signals danger).
    [c] Slow down: rushing presses the psyche's panic button.
    [d] Find a safe place to unwind and soothe yourself: wrap yourself in a blanket, hold a stuffed animal, lie down in a closet or a bath, take a nap.
    [e] Feel the fear in your body without reacting to it. Fear is just an energy in your body that cannot hurt you if you do not run from it or react self-destructively to it.
    [*]Resist the Inner Critic's Drasticizing and Catastrophizing:
    [a] Use thought-stopping to halt its endless exaggeration of danger and constant planning to control the uncontrollable. Refuse to shame, hate or abandon yourself. Channel the anger of self-attack into saying NO to unfair self-criticism.
    Use thought-substitution to replace negative thinking with a memorized list of your qualities and accomplishments
    [*]Allow yourself to grieve. Flashbacks are opportunities to release old, unexpressed feelings of fear, hurt, and abandonment, and to validate - and then soothe - the child's past experience of helplessness and hopelessness. Healthy grieving can turn our tears into self-compassion and our anger into self-protection.
    [*]Cultivate safe relationships and seek support. Take time alone when you need it, but don't let shame isolate you. Feeling shame doesn't mean you are shameful. Educate your intimates about flashbacks and ask them to help you talk and feel your way through them.
    [*]Learn to identify the types of triggers that lead to flashbacks. Avoid unsafe people, places, activities and triggering mental processes. Practice preventive maintenance with these steps when triggering situations are unavoidable.
    [*]Figure out what you are flashing back to. Flashbacks are opportunities to discover, validate and heal our wounds from past abuse and abandonment. They also point to our still unmet developmental needs and can provide motivation to get them met.
    [*]Be patient with a slow recovery process: it takes time in the present to become un-adrenalized, and considerable time in the future to gradually decrease the intensity, duration and frequency of flashbacks. Real recovery is a gradually progressive process (often two steps forward, one step back), not an attained salvation fantasy. Don't beat yourself up for having a flashback.
I also have c-ptsd so idk if that would help with the same type of trama but usually those spirals turn into full emotional flashbacks for me, so it's there if you think it would help.
Yeah I spiral for days at a time too. Thanks for the advice, my therapist has recommended some of this stuff too but I don't do a great job of managing it effectively. My trauma also originates in childhood and I get a lot of those emotional flashbacks you are talking about as well.
 

Monkey DTT

Avenger
Oct 28, 2017
1,800
USA West Virginia
Yeah I spiral for days at a time too. Thanks for the advice, my therapist has recommended some of this stuff too but I don't do a great job of managing it effectively. My trauma also originates in childhood and I get a lot of those emotional flashbacks you are talking about as well.
I highly highly advise cptsd handbook from Pete Walker if you think it would help. It sounds like we might have very similar mental states and as a book it's very eye opening. Its practically my bible at this point in terms of understanding what happened to you, real ways to manage it, and recovery. But my hearts out to you friend truly, stay in touch it always helps knowing people with childhood trama are standing together.
 

Lord of Ostia

Member
Oct 27, 2017
11,877
I highly highly advise cptsd handbook from Pete Walker if you think it would help. It sounds like we might have very similar mental states and as a book it's very eye opening. Its practically my bible at this point in terms of understanding what happened to you, real ways to manage it, and recovery. But my hearts out to you friend truly, stay in touch it always helps knowing people with childhood trama are standing together.
I will look into that book, I've had a hard time finding literature on that subject that isn't specifically geared toward women. If it has helped you that much then im sure I would be able to get something out of it. Same to you, I hate seeing other people with similar trauma but at the same time there is comfort in knowing you are not alone. Thanks for talking with me, even just this has helped a bit.
 

Monkey DTT

Avenger
Oct 28, 2017
1,800
USA West Virginia
I will look into that book, I've had a hard time finding literature on that subject that isn't specifically geared toward women. If it has helped you that much then im sure I would be able to get something out of it. Same to you, I hate seeing other people with similar trauma but at the same time there is comfort in knowing you are not alone. Thanks for talking with me, even just this has helped a bit.
Literally any time friend
 

stan_marsh

Member
Oct 25, 2017
5,393
Canada
summer is the worst for my anxiety... so many people out and the sun stays out for so long...

it's mentally exhausting just walking my dog
 

Thordinson

Member
Aug 1, 2018
1,231
I don't know why but my anxiety has been really high lately. Maybe it's just the idea of applying to grad schools next semester. I've been slacking on my studies and feel disappointed in myself but I can't seem to bring myself to study or do work quickly instead of procrastinating. Just kinda stuck in a rut.
 
Oct 25, 2017
128
My anxiety has been spiking lately resulting in me spending my entire weekends holed up in my apartment drinking. I pound beers late into the night/early morning and sleep until 2-3pm.

Today I had to get up at 9am to work from home. I ended up going out twice after work (to visit my dad and to attend a get-together with a FB group I belong to). It felt good to break the rut.
 

OniLinkPlus

Member
Oct 25, 2017
396
Just got out of a surprisingly short stay in the psych ward. This past week has been nightmarish. The things that happen when an emotionally stunted autistic adult with several traumas and paranoia can't handle their own bullshit...

Story time cause that's how I vent!

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Lant_War

The Fallen
Jul 14, 2018
6,073
Well Ubisoft is garbage.. but share your passion if you want to. There's plenty room for discussions to be had. Sure there's going to be shit posts but loving certain games does not make you an outcast.

Has your isolation started recently or have you always been a bit withdrawn?
Do you have friends to play with?
A poster tells you that they feel bad they can't share their passion of videogames they like and your reaction is "well, they're garbage"?
 

11037

Member
Oct 25, 2017
73
Australia
I was sexually assaulted by one of my male co-workers.

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Sadire

Member
Oct 31, 2017
200
Not really the thread to bring up "ubisoft is garbage" though. You could have made your point whiteout that nonsense.
You are correct, it was unnecessary.

A poster tells you that they feel bad they can't share their passion of videogames they like and your reaction is "well, they're garbage"?
See above.
That doesn't mean that the rest of my post doesn't hold water.
People should always feel free to share what they are passionate about, and it is unfortunate that someone feels like they can't share those things.

I suppose I've made the point clear that people can react in bad ways to opinions by doing it myself.

I apologize.
 

jdstorm

Member
Jan 6, 2018
2,746
I was sexually assaulted by one of my male co-workers.

[Hidden content]
Firstly I just want to commend you on your bravery for sharing. This is an awful situation and it has taken you a lot of courage to be as open as you have been to your friend and on this forum.

I would encourage you to continue to be brave and open about this situation. It’s obviously a very personal matter and who you share this with is up to you, however you clearly have people in your life who will love and support you no matter what. Continue reaching out to them for any support that you feel you need.

I’m not really sure what to say beyond that, except that I’m so sorry this happened to you.

Edit: I think going forward the best thing you can do is get an official record of this event as soon as possible. Wether it’s talking to a health professional or a law enforcement official. Whatever you feel more comfortable with. Start building an evidence trail.

I would tell HR. While it’s worth remembering that they are there to protect the companies interest and not yours, how they react will likely inform if you want to continue to work for your current employer. Remember you are a strong wonderful person with agency and you get to choose what’s best for you. You get to choose to be in environments where you feel safe and respected.

As for any potential fallout. There likely will be but you are strong enough to handle it, and more importantly you deserve people in you life who respect and value you. If others don’t act Kindly towards you about this situation then they aren’t people who are worth a place in your life.
 
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opticalmace

Member
Oct 27, 2017
1,869
I don't know why but my anxiety has been really high lately. Maybe it's just the idea of applying to grad schools next semester. I've been slacking on my studies and feel disappointed in myself but I can't seem to bring myself to study or do work quickly instead of procrastinating. Just kinda stuck in a rut.
What subject do you study? The process can be pretty overwhelming (been there), it's totally normal. Don't sweat it too much.

Totally separate thing I was going to post:
I wonder if weed helps with anxiety? Haven't really done it but was just a passing thought (especially now that it's legal in many places).
 

astro

Member
Oct 25, 2017
15,053
I was sexually assaulted by one of my male co-workers.

[Hidden content]
There's no easy way to do this, whatever you do you are putting yourself in a vulnerable position.

My advice would be to to lean on your close friends for their support and report it. Let their strength prop you up when you need it, and try to find some strength in the power you have to fight back.

This person did something horrible to you, confronting it now head on is the best thing you can do for you imo.
 

delSai

Member
Oct 27, 2017
1,363
Germany
Constantly jumping from feeling ok at best to absolutely awful is just.. idunno, annoying i guess.

Shit just seems like an unwinnable fight.
 

Thordinson

Member
Aug 1, 2018
1,231
What subject do you study? The process can be pretty overwhelming (been there), it's totally normal. Don't sweat it too much.
Psychology. Though, I'm going into Nursing. I've finally narrowed down the programs I'm applying for. I know it's normal but it's just causing me more stress and anxiety than normal. I just worry about not being good enough to get into any schools, much less my most wanted ones.
 

yunbuns

The Fallen
Oct 25, 2017
1,055
Utlimecia's Castle
So I've been in school for about six years due to changing majors and one semester was pretty much useless because I ended up doing an emergency withdrawal because of my health. I've also been working at a work study job on campus for the four out of six years I've been in school. My depression has gotten worse over the past few years as I pretty much don't really have any real life friends and don't really leave the house except for school, classes, and a few other things. Anyway, so I had some issues with my aid for the summer (this was supposed to be my final semester) so between that and my depression kind of spiraling out of control, I decided I would just finish in the fall and focus on getting a new job for the summer (one of my requirements to graduate is to also get an internship). These are all things that have kind of just made me feel really insecure, worthless, and ultimately like a loser for the past couple of years.

My brother is aware of my issues with depression as well my search for a new job and his way of helping is kind of just....really only speaking to me about job related things and trying to help me with that. His job was holding some big networking event and he kind of just told me I was going, didn't ask if i wanted to go or anything and it's like...I get that he's trying to help in his own way I guess but it just ultimately ends up rubbing me the wrong way + my motivation regarding like...everything is gone so I didn't really want to go. He talked to me about and basically felt like I hadn't had any growth / progress in four years since I've been at the same job and pretty much pointed all the things I mentioned being insecure about above. It felt like the whole conversation was kind of just validation that I'm a loser. It feels like I'm not worthy of existing or being in my family's presence if I'm not 'progressing' towards something. Like my brother doesn't ask about my mental health, how i am, or anything. Like most of the time whenever we talk, he just seems annoyed. Idk. I just feel like killing myself but I've felt that way on and off for a long time now but I've been too scared to do it. Today doesn't seem any different either.
 
Oct 28, 2017
652
Having an increased paranoia that I’m going to be fired from my new job. And I know for certain that won’t happen.

Anxiety attacks are the fucking worst.
 

11037

Member
Oct 25, 2017
73
Australia
Thank you guys for the advice. I left for work earlier then usual today so that I was able to speak to management before my co-worker came onto site. I have spoken with HR and they advised me they will be conducting an investigation. They sent me home early with some contacts I could reach out to for counselling if needed. Work says it's okay if I take some time off work. I'm anxious to go back, as seeing my co-worker feels me with dread and I can nearly feel myself having a panic attack over the thought. I will be taking some needed rest and will be reaching out to the numbers provided for some support and assistance.

I just hope that soon I'm able to return back to my normal life and that I can move on from this. I know this will take some time but I feel better after reaching out for support.
 

demonturkey

Member
Oct 27, 2017
3
I lost a friend two days ago. My best friend lost his little brother. He took his own life. My heart aches.

Never stop fighting.
 

jdstorm

Member
Jan 6, 2018
2,746
11037

I'm glad to hear that you have found some support and that you are feeling better. If you need anything feel free to ask
 

Cappa

Member
Oct 25, 2017
986
Is this a good place to vent and talk about one's anxiety and depression? Honest question. Im feeling really down today and a certain event triggered out but I don't know if it's a good place to discuss if anyone here offers advice or it's just everyone generally talking about their own problems.

I don't know if what I'm asking makes sense lol but I hope someone is able to talk to me. My parents don't understand, my dog doesn't talk back, and I really don't have any friends(or ones that understand)
 

delSai

Member
Oct 27, 2017
1,363
Germany
Is this a good place to vent and talk about one's anxiety and depression? Honest question. Im feeling really down today and a certain event triggered out but I don't know if it's a good place to discuss if anyone here offers advice or it's just everyone generally talking about their own problems.

I don't know if what I'm asking makes sense lol but I hope someone is able to talk to me. My parents don't understand, my dog doesn't talk back, and I really don't have any friends(or ones that understand)
Go ahead. Maybe put it in a spoiler if there's anything that might trigger someone (see OP). I might not be able to help, but there are alot of amazing people in this thread who i'd say are of great help.
 

HotAndTender

Member
Dec 6, 2017
142
Hi all,
My girlfriend was diagnosed with severe depression before Christmas and has been in CBT since probably once every few weeks. She's been great and seen a lot of improvement (with a few bumps along the way) She has told me her therapist says she suffers from avoidance behaviour, i can agree since i know how she "works" with certain situations but i'm wondering if there's anyone with some info on what i can do to help her?
 

Boddy

Member
Oct 25, 2017
1,773
HotAndTender I have a little bit of experience with that.
Unfortunately there isn't that much you can do, she has to do most of the work herself.
However, just having someone at your side at times like these is very helpful, just make sure you take care of yourself as well.

You can make sure she goes to her appointments and if she takes medicine make sure she doesn't forget it.
Try to avoid things that are potential trigger for her.
Beyond that, just be supportive and understanding.
 

HotAndTender

Member
Dec 6, 2017
142
HotAndTender I have a little bit of experience with that.
Unfortunately there isn't that much you can do, she has to do most of the work herself.
However, just having someone at your side at times like these is very helpful, just make sure you take care of yourself as well.

You can make sure she goes to her appointments and if she takes medicine make sure she doesn't forget it.
Try to avoid things that are potential trigger for her.
Beyond that, just be supportive and understanding.
Of course, thanks. Taking medicine is a huge issue, not that she doesn't want to take it she seems to "forget" a lot. I've proposed putting an alarm on her phone to remind her. She knows how it makes her if she stops taking them (she complained to be short of money didn't get her months worth a few months back and her anxiety was through the roof)
 

Monkey DTT

Avenger
Oct 28, 2017
1,800
USA West Virginia
I lost a friend two days ago. My best friend lost his little brother. He took his own life. My heart aches.

Never stop fighting.
Most of us never get the help we need, and it's a true shame. I'm sorry for your loss friend.

Is this a good place to vent and talk about one's anxiety and depression? Honest question. Im feeling really down today and a certain event triggered out but I don't know if it's a good place to discuss if anyone here offers advice or it's just everyone generally talking about their own problems.

I don't know if what I'm asking makes sense lol but I hope someone is able to talk to me. My parents don't understand, my dog doesn't talk back, and I really don't have any friends(or ones that understand)
That's what this thread's here for friend. God knows I take advantage of it all the time lol.
 

OniLinkPlus

Member
Oct 25, 2017
396
The DBT group we were going to go to is full. Wait times to get in are like 6 months. We'll have moved to another city by then. We also finally disowned our abusive parents.

Not sure what to do... really need DBT, according to literally everyone: the local crisis line, friends who have gone through it, everyone...

We can't just wait until we start college again and use local resources there. We need help now.
 

Cappa

Member
Oct 25, 2017
986
Ok so I'll post what's going on it's going to be a bit long(because I'm going to stay from the beginning) so I'll do a tldr at the end lol.

About 5-6 years ago, I moved from the USA to Spain. I was a bit tired of my lack of a social life, living at home with parents and a relatively stressful job. When I first came to Spain my first job was English teacher but I obviously wanted something in my field, import export logistics, and I started searching. I couldn't find anything in the city I'm in right now Vigo, which when I first came to Spain was where I wanted to be. So I applied to another city in Spain, Valencia, that was on the other side of the country and instantly found jobs.

I had just met someone at the time and we were dating and she didn't like that all of sudden I was going to move across the country. Not to side track things but she's part of the story, she eventually moved across the country with me and we lived together. We soon realized we were better off having been just friends. We lasted longer in the relationship than we should have. It ended on relatively good terms despite it all. We had a dog together which I kept(and what a life saver he is).

So I was given the opportunity to move back to the first city in Spain I wanted to try(where I'm at now) with transferring the same company. After two years I am completely unhappy here, work is incredibly stressful and my social life is pretty much non existent.

I told my current boss I am leaving and would like to transfer back to Valencia yesterday after having a talk with my therapist in the US. Two of the worst episodes of anxiety and depression have happened here where I am now and I think it's time to go.

I felt better after letting it all out, but now my anxiety is worried about them accepting my transfer back. I'm a great worker and everyone speaks highly of me but you never know. My current boss wants me to stay on until the end of the year but me lasting until September is already rough for me.

The department has been a revolving door but the experience from it and everything I've learned will no doubt help me in the future.

I guess I'm not really looking for advice I just wanted to vent a bit. This whole episode was actually triggered this past Sunday when my ex visited and she started talking to me about her current boyfriend and how they are buying a house together and that just made me feel like absolute crap. Like jealousy.

My anxiety and panic attacks have been better but I still wake up very early in the morning with panic attacks. I try to sleep with YouTube meditation videos but I still wake up with bad anxiety. My appetite is also not very good, so while I'm eating something, I'm not eating a lot.

I know it will be OK and I have my great therapist to help (although he's in his 80s and God forbid...) but I feel so lost sometimes.

Thanks for anyone who took the time to read this its all over the place because my mind is still all over the place but I hope for the most part it's read able lol

Tldr Basically regret moving to a city and after two years I want to move back. Having extreme anxiety and occasionally depression which was triggered a couple of days ago by an ex girlfriend visiting and telling me about her current bf even though I'm not interested in her romantically. I told my current boss I'm quitting my job and gave her until September she wanted me to stay on rest of year (very stressful job not helping with anxiety and actually a part of it) I asked for a transfer back to my old job and waiting on an answer on that