Mental Health Era |OT2| Community and Understanding

stan_marsh

Member
Oct 25, 2017
5,910
Canada
I want to fucking stop living already.

Can't get a job, can't hold friends for shit thanks to my PTSD, the only person who understood my mind and how it works is fucking dead thanks to cancer.
Probably homeless and going to be completely broke in a few months.

I'm just garbage, absolute fucking garbage. A waste of everything.

If I was in the USA I would have blasted myself with a gun already, it's impossible to get one here
 

Monkey DTT

Avenger
Oct 28, 2017
2,115
USA West Virginia
I'm sorry I'm so quiet lately I got so distracted with final fantasy xiv that I just kind of delayed getting better and purposely just blocked everything out a bit. Had a therapy session, I'm trying some new things but the hardest one is I am forced to do 3 things for myself a day. These are playing my guitar, read, and go out somewhere.

Its impossible to imagine but I have to retrain how I think for being worthy of joy so.... fuck it I guess I have to

I want to fucking stop living already.

Can't get a job, can't hold friends for shit thanks to my PTSD, the only person who understood my mind and how it works is fucking dead thanks to cancer.
Probably homeless and going to be completely broke in a few months.

I'm just garbage, absolute fucking garbage. A waste of everything.

If I was in the USA I would have blasted myself with a gun already, it's impossible to get one here
I want you to make it obviously but I completely get how hard it is for people to fully get how your minds works. I've had friends in the past who either knew how to use me or I ran away from after the slightest judgment. Its tiring and makes everything more lonely.
 

Yata

User-Requested Ban
Banned
Feb 1, 2019
551
Spain
I go in a constant cycle of wanting to vent out either online or in real life and inmediately regretting it. Even if sometimes it's not regret; more like I associate venting and mental illness with weakness so I always promise myself to stop doing it because I know it does no favours to anyone; but I always break the promise. Posting here just makes me think of the couple of forums that makes fun of these types of posts. Just makes me insanely depressed. Feel like mental illness is mocked everywhere and society just wants the weak ones like myself to kill themselves already.

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Will reget posting this even with minimal information like always.
 
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Monkey DTT

Avenger
Oct 28, 2017
2,115
USA West Virginia
I go in a constant cycle of wanting to vent out either online or in real life and inmediately regretting it. Even if sometimes it's not regret; more like I associate venting and mental illness with weakness so I always promise myself to stop doing it because I know it does no favours to anyone; but I always break the promise. Posting here just makes me think of the couple of forums that makes fun of these types of posts. Just makes me insanely depressed. Feel like mental illness is mocked everywhere and society just wants the weak ones like myself to kill themselves already.

[Hidden content]

Will reget posting this even with minimal information like always.
Friend I can't count the amount of times I've written something only to delete it, mostly because I feel selfish when in actuality thats the point of the thread.

Your valid in how you feel, right now though my therapy is about to force me to do things when all I want to do is lie in bed and give up. Maybe this is how you get out of this by forcing yourself into doing things you like, idk. I hope we feel well soon
 

Yata

User-Requested Ban
Banned
Feb 1, 2019
551
Spain
Friend I can't count the amount of times I've written something only to delete it, mostly because I feel selfish when in actuality thats the point of the thread.

Your valid in how you feel, right now though my therapy is about to force me to do things when all I want to do is lie in bed and give up. Maybe this is how you get out of this by forcing yourself into doing things you like, idk. I hope we feel well soon
Thanks for the response.

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Yata

User-Requested Ban
Banned
Feb 1, 2019
551
Spain
Huh, it does sound interesting. If there is really no problem I would be glad if you could share it with me.

Have you tried meditation or exercise? My therapist is always telling me to do both. I'm not really good at doing either consistently, but if you can then I think it's probably helpful
Thanks for the response. I already do exercise for an hour every day whenever I can, so no problems with that. I am very sceptical about meditation because I am a very paranoid and nervous person by nature and I find it impossible to clear thoughts in my head. I appreciate the advice, though.
 

Tezz

Member
Oct 27, 2017
1,580
California, U.S.
Thanks for the response. I already do exercise for an hour every day whenever I can, so no problems with that. I am very sceptical about meditation because I am a very paranoid and nervous person by nature and I find it impossible to clear thoughts in my head. I appreciate the advice, though.
If you haven't before, you ought to try Headspace. Fairly certain it's mentioned in the OP. You don't necessarily have to clear all thoughts to meditate.
 

Hawkster

Member
Mar 23, 2019
426
Last few weeks, I've been going through a mental episode where it feels like I wish the world just burns down to end the suffering that's happening in the world.

I know its been emphasized at this point that I should see a therapist about my issues rather than talking to random people online.

But what if its just a waste of time and money? I mean, there are depressed people visiting therapists, and yet their issues still persist and they go back to their depressive episodes.

Seeing people with mental issues and barely surviving just makes it look like there's no light at the end of the tunnel.
 

Thequietone

Member
Oct 26, 2017
826
I saw a therapist. It helped get over some issues but ultimately there are things I'll never get over no matter how many times I go. I always think I'm not good enough. Even when I'm praised I think they don't mean it. I think of myself as low as a person can think of themselves. I work hard because I'm afraid of failure. I'm taking a paid vacation next month but I immediately regret taking it. I feel like I need to work. I feel like everything will fall apart if I'm not there. I take meds they help as I don't have suicidal thoughts anymore( I attempted twice last year and it's what spurred me to get help). I don't trust anyone anymore. My now ex wife watched me die during my 2nd attempt. Someone else called 911 and they recently betrayed me too. I feel mostly alone but I am used to it. I am not good at making friends. Never have been. It's worse now but that's just being an adult that can't drink anymore. Doesn't help that I live in a town where nothing ever happens. Anyways, sorry, I just needed to get this out there.
 

Lord of Ostia

Member
Oct 27, 2017
13,300
Huh, it does sound interesting. If there is really no problem I would be glad if you could share it with me.



Thanks for the response. I already do exercise for an hour every day whenever I can, so no problems with that. I am very sceptical about meditation because I am a very paranoid and nervous person by nature and I find it impossible to clear thoughts in my head. I appreciate the advice, though.
No problem, I'm shit at meditating too so I get it.
 

Pand

The Fallen
Oct 25, 2017
110
Last few weeks, I've been going through a mental episode where it feels like I wish the world just burns down to end the suffering that's happening in the world.

I know its been emphasized at this point that I should see a therapist about my issues rather than talking to random people online.

But what if its just a waste of time and money? I mean, there are depressed people visiting therapists, and yet their issues still persist and they go back to their depressive episodes.

Seeing people with mental issues and barely surviving just makes it look like there's no light at the end of the tunnel.
I'm bipolar 1 and will probably have to keep seeing a therapist for the rest of my life. I still get depressive episodes with some regularity even after trying a lot of different medications over many years (though the mania has calmed down). I especially understand the sort of existential depression you're describing, it gets to me all the time.

Still, I can't overstate how important therapy has been and still is to me and so many others. I don't think I could live without it. You'll never know how much it can help until you try it.
 

Lord of Ostia

Member
Oct 27, 2017
13,300
Last few weeks, I've been going through a mental episode where it feels like I wish the world just burns down to end the suffering that's happening in the world.

I know its been emphasized at this point that I should see a therapist about my issues rather than talking to random people online.

But what if its just a waste of time and money? I mean, there are depressed people visiting therapists, and yet their issues still persist and they go back to their depressive episodes.

Seeing people with mental issues and barely surviving just makes it look like there's no light at the end of the tunnel.
I think you need to change your mindset a little. Therapy is never going to 'cure' your mental illness, it just helps you manage it day to day and learn to cope.

I still feel horrible regularly, but therapy has been immensely helpful in terms of understanding my trauma and illness and giving me coping mechanisms. It's also just a safe, non-judgemental outlet with someone who is professionally trained to deal with your issues and (ideally) is quite empathetic. That's valuable even if it doesn't solve everything.
 

RoyalJCC

Member
Oct 27, 2017
331
I was hoping I wouldn't need to come here and vent anymore (still love you all), but today was really bad.

I've been feeling down the past few days and I've been trying really hard to hide it. My girlfriend went back to China and I don't know when I'll see her again, I feel demotivated, I went to the gym today and I had to stop the session before I broke down in tears in front of everyone. I was trying really hard not to. I get to my car and I start talking with my mom, she started asking me what's wrong and even before I start talking she starts talking and talking, not knowing how to listen. Never on my entire life I have told my mom to simply shut up, but I did today. Same thing with my dad, I told them both to simply shut up. They don't understand what I feel but they think they do. I'm already feeling like shit and they just keep going and going, thinking they know what my problem is. I have no "down time", I'm always moving - work, gym, study, and work. That's all I think, I don't think about having fun. Fuck that, my mind doesn't let me.

My girlfriend being away is not the cause for this depression, it helps, but it's not the cause. It just can't give myself any rest, I keep comparing myself to others, I keep telling myself not to waste time, I keep telling myself that everything is serious. I don't enjoy things anymore because my fucking mind doesn't let me. I keep pushing back, I keep good things away. Little things make my mind spin, makes me overthink. I just want to enjoy things for what they are, I don't want to think why - I just want to enjoy them. I just want to grab a controller and lose myself in a videogame, I want to find passion, I want something that makes me feel happy. That's all I ask, but I can't. My mind keeps telling me "no, the only way to enjoy this is if you do things like this or that" - for example, as stupid as this may sound because it fucking is, I can't enjoy my phone because it's an Android and I have a Mac. Both things are not connected, both things don't work together, so my phone sucks and I have to buy an iPhone. This is not because of fanboyism, my mind just needs to find order in everything. I know, you can laugh, it's stupid but this is just an example (a minor one).

I'm very strict with myself. I think too much, I postpone lots of things and I end up not doing/buying because i think I'm not worth it. I have the money for it but keep it from me because... well, I don't fucking no. My mind just says "save save save", even if this thing will make me happier.


I'm just tired. I feel like shit. My text isn't coherent, I'm sorry for it. I just don't have the strength to write a nice and coherent text.
 

Roygbiv95

Member
Jan 24, 2019
1,030
Anyone know how much ambien and/or xanax is an ok amount to take? If you get prescribed no more than 5-10 pills per month of a medium dosage is it still dangerous (sleepwalking, memory loss, etc)? Safe enough?
 
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Monkey DTT

Avenger
Oct 28, 2017
2,115
USA West Virginia
DBT is really hard for me so far, again I'm not in the actual thing but my therapist is doing work sheets and stuff with me and there are things I'm required to do each day. Doing stuff repeated for myself makes me feel guilty but I've been doing them almost daily or weekly. Now I'm required to every day and because of that I'm a little extra sensitive

I think I'm a little harder to talk to than normal but I'm putting in the work. The hardest is working on the self harm, it used to serve as a mental release and punished me so it's really hard going against my instincts

I was hoping I wouldn't need to come here and vent anymore (still love you all), but today was really bad.

I've been feeling down the past few days and I've been trying really hard to hide it. My girlfriend went back to China and I don't know when I'll see her again, I feel demotivated, I went to the gym today and I had to stop the session before I broke down in tears in front of everyone. I was trying really hard not to. I get to my car and I start talking with my mom, she started asking me what's wrong and even before I start talking she starts talking and talking, not knowing how to listen. Never on my entire life I have told my mom to simply shut up, but I did today. Same thing with my dad, I told them both to simply shut up. They don't understand what I feel but they think they do. I'm already feeling like shit and they just keep going and going, thinking they know what my problem is. I have no "down time", I'm always moving - work, gym, study, and work. That's all I think, I don't think about having fun. Fuck that, my mind doesn't let me.

My girlfriend being away is not the cause for this depression, it helps, but it's not the cause. It just can't give myself any rest, I keep comparing myself to others, I keep telling myself not to waste time, I keep telling myself that everything is serious. I don't enjoy things anymore because my fucking mind doesn't let me. I keep pushing back, I keep good things away. Little things make my mind spin, makes me overthink. I just want to enjoy things for what they are, I don't want to think why - I just want to enjoy them. I just want to grab a controller and lose myself in a videogame, I want to find passion, I want something that makes me feel happy. That's all I ask, but I can't. My mind keeps telling me "no, the only way to enjoy this is if you do things like this or that" - for example, as stupid as this may sound because it fucking is, I can't enjoy my phone because it's an Android and I have a Mac. Both things are not connected, both things don't work together, so my phone sucks and I have to buy an iPhone. This is not because of fanboyism, my mind just needs to find order in everything. I know, you can laugh, it's stupid but this is just an example (a minor one).

I'm very strict with myself. I think too much, I postpone lots of things and I end up not doing/buying because i think I'm not worth it. I have the money for it but keep it from me because... well, I don't fucking no. My mind just says "save save save", even if this thing will make me happier.


I'm just tired. I feel like shit. My text isn't coherent, I'm sorry for it. I just don't have the strength to write a nice and coherent text.
That sounds very frustrating, especially when you cant just shut off for a bit.
 

RoyalJCC

Member
Oct 27, 2017
331
That sounds very frustrating, especially when you cant just shut off for a bit.
It is... it's super tough to deal with.


Today I gave myself a little present, finally bought a Switch. I've been holding on for so much and believe it or not, I've spent like one hour to decide if I should get it or not.

I did, with a 35€ voucher and Bayonetta 1 and 2. I hope I like it and helps me get my head off of these problems.
 

Monkey DTT

Avenger
Oct 28, 2017
2,115
USA West Virginia
It is... it's super tough to deal with.


Today I gave myself a little present, finally bought a Switch. I've been holding on for so much and believe it or not, I've spent like one hour to decide if I should get it or not.

I did, with a 35€ voucher and Bayonetta 1 and 2. I hope I like it and helps me get my head off of these problems.
Beyos super replayable so I hope that helps ya. If ya ever need a friend on there message me lol ^_^

Do you see a psychiatrist or a therapist first? I can’t keep going through all this.
Therapist first because they can help the psychiatrist figure out what would actually be helpful. I kept getting prescribed meds for depression when it turned out I had much more complicated issues, so I swear by therapy
 

RoyalJCC

Member
Oct 27, 2017
331
Beyos super replayable so I hope that helps ya. If ya ever need a friend on there message me lol ^_^
So I woke up today feeling good but the moment i looked at my new switch I started questioning what the hell did I do and I'm stupid for doing it.

This is how my mind works, i can't enjoy things because it doesn't let me. Even now, at work, it keeps bothering me. It's so damn frustrating.
 

Monkey DTT

Avenger
Oct 28, 2017
2,115
USA West Virginia
Think I'm gonna try working out again, trying to decide if I should use the gym or attempt running. If I go to the gym I have strength training available but theres more money I have to spend, if i try running it's free but I'm more visible and I can only do cardio.
 

SugarDave

Member
Oct 26, 2017
1,008
I'm barely capable of functioning in the real world. My anxiety has absolutely skyrocketed the last couple of months. I just know I'm going to become a burden on my entire family when I'm older and likely still struggling with basic shit.

Can't wait to be dead.
 

luulubuu

User requested permanent ban
Banned
Oct 25, 2017
2,231
Hi, I think this month has been brutal on me and im procrastinating a lot... could you help me
 

thelostone

Banned
Sep 7, 2018
265
First time commenting on the board I was recommended to this particular bourd been having depressed deep depression for 4 years group counseling doesn't work for me I want no one doesn't work for me and tried several medications I don't seem to help this past week I had my Nintendo switch stolen from me the only give me a break from reality my mother is really sick developing signs of dementia I spend 95% of my money in time taking care of her I'm anI mean end of my rope I just make take my in life in 48 hrs
 

Terraj_RSL

Member
Feb 8, 2018
530
First time commenting on the board I was recommended to this particular bourd been having depressed deep depression for 4 years group counseling doesn't work for me I want no one doesn't work for me and tried several medications I don't seem to help this past week I had my Nintendo switch stolen from me the only give me a break from reality my mother is really sick developing signs of dementia I spend 95% of my money in time taking care of her I'm anI mean end of my rope I just make take my in life in 48 hrs
I'm not going say the cliche "don't kill yourself, you have so much to live for", because I also suffer from major depression and have frequent death ideations.

But before you do something drastic, I would suggest a change in your treatment. Since 4 years of group counseling hasn't worked, maybe you can talk to your doctor about:
  • switching to 1-on-1 counseling (instead of group)
  • changing medication, dosage or combinations
  • Try C.B.T. (cognitive behavioral therapy), which focuses on changing your thoughts & behaviors to better cope with your depression
Also, you can always anonymously post/vent about your problems here, talk to a trusted friend, or you can just type/write down your problems on your computer/journal. In my experience doing these has helped with my depression.
 

Monkey DTT

Avenger
Oct 28, 2017
2,115
USA West Virginia
First time commenting on the board I was recommended to this particular bourd been having depressed deep depression for 4 years group counseling doesn't work for me I want no one doesn't work for me and tried several medications I don't seem to help this past week I had my Nintendo switch stolen from me the only give me a break from reality my mother is really sick developing signs of dementia I spend 95% of my money in time taking care of her I'm anI mean end of my rope I just make take my in life in 48 hrs
Taking care of a parent is one of the hardest things as a human being to go through especially with dementia. Terraj has better advice than I can give but I just want you know emotionally I see you and I empathize with you. I dont want you hurt, and I want you to keep posting here. You absolutely matter and you are more than welcome to talk to us either in this thread or PM. I'd hug you if I could friend because watching and doing your best for someone that important to you is a toll in so many ways, both from the pain of what shes going through to you trying to stay strong and do your best.
 

Yagyujubei

Member
Oct 25, 2017
1,194
in hell
I’m probably going to be working crap jobs for the rest of my life and unlike other people never retire. I see older people on the train and buses struggling to go work looking so beaten and tired. I know I’ll end up like that. There really is no reason to live for me. No kids no boyfriend not smart enough to have a career. Whether I kill my sled tomorrow or ten days from now or a year from now all I would be doing is prolonging suffering to live any longer. Would it be ok to kill myself this week?
 

linkboy

Member
Oct 26, 2017
3,491
This last month has been freaking brutal on my mental state.

My fiancee lost her job on the 3rd and wasn't able to find a new one all month (she had some leads, but they went nowhere). As a result of this, we can't afford our rent.

In the last week, I've had 5 anxiety attacks that were so bad, I was shaking like I had Parkinson's (thankfully, I don't).

Tuesday night, my fiancee and I made the decision to move from Minneapolis back to South Dakota and move in with her mom until we can get things stable again.

Yesterday morning, I wanted into my work, cleaned out my desk, worked with one of my co-workers to take over my cases and handed my badge to my boss. Thankfully, they were OK with it since they saw how the stress I had was affecting my health (Tuesday I had one so bad it forced me to lay on my back at my cubicle. I really didn't want to leave that job and company as I really enjoyed it (even if it was a call center) and the company culture was fantastic and very progressive (Very pro LGBTQ, strong dislike for Trump, etc).

I'm hoping that getting South Dakota, where things won't be as crazy (well, except for the fact that Kristy Noem is a fucking bitch) will allow us to get our feet under us, prioritize things and then figure out what to do in a few years. I'm going to start going back to school to get a computer degree through my GI Bill (looking to start in the fall semester).
 

Monkey DTT

Avenger
Oct 28, 2017
2,115
USA West Virginia
I'm looking back and I'm confident my mom had borderline personality disorder (its genetic) and it explains things. Any time I ever tried to open up I was always told "this talk makes my pain worse, you have to stop" so I was just never allowed any agency. A month before she died I tried desperately to have her hear I had cptsd (which I still have I just also have borderline) and she just refused any love or validation.

But looking back if she had this then emotionally she never worked on handling any of the things I've been working on, she might not have been able to handle the criticism and being her favorite person I'm sure she viewed me either extremely kind or terrifying.

Plus why was i never allowed to leave or grow up, makes sense if she had dependency issues. I'm not mad at her but I'm also really sad we could never have this talk. Now shes gone and once my grandmother dies i really just have my partner to lean on and I really want to be better for us. Trying to learn to want to he better for me.

Don't have a point just kind of sharing, I'm still working on what I working on but i also feel like I've been hiding more from this thread which I dont intend to, idk I'm just a little more isolated for the purpose of working through some stuff in general

This last month has been freaking brutal on my mental state.

My fiancee lost her job on the 3rd and wasn't able to find a new one all month (she had some leads, but they went nowhere). As a result of this, we can't afford our rent.

In the last week, I've had 5 anxiety attacks that were so bad, I was shaking like I had Parkinson's (thankfully, I don't).

Tuesday night, my fiancee and I made the decision to move from Minneapolis back to South Dakota and move in with her mom until we can get things stable again.

Yesterday morning, I wanted into my work, cleaned out my desk, worked with one of my co-workers to take over my cases and handed my badge to my boss. Thankfully, they were OK with it since they saw how the stress I had was affecting my health (Tuesday I had one so bad it forced me to lay on my back at my cubicle. I really didn't want to leave that job and company as I really enjoyed it (even if it was a call center) and the company culture was fantastic and very progressive (Very pro LGBTQ, strong dislike for Trump, etc).

I'm hoping that getting South Dakota, where things won't be as crazy (well, except for the fact that Kristy Noem is a fucking bitch) will allow us to get our feet under us, prioritize things and then figure out what to do in a few years. I'm going to start going back to school to get a computer degree through my GI Bill (looking to start in the fall semester).
I hope for the best friend, I'm hoping me moving too is what I need tofinally start fresh too.

I’m probably going to be working crap jobs for the rest of my life and unlike other people never retire. I see older people on the train and buses struggling to go work looking so beaten and tired. I know I’ll end up like that. There really is no reason to live for me. No kids no boyfriend not smart enough to have a career. Whether I kill my sled tomorrow or ten days from now or a year from now all I would be doing is prolonging suffering to live any longer. Would it be ok to kill myself this week?
Almost out of money then I'm ending it before I become homeless
Please dont, I dont want you hurt.
 
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nevercomehome

Member
Oct 25, 2017
254
So i've been calming down I think. Few months into this job. No longer feel the urge to quit and go back home all the time (only some of the time). I'm still seeking a therapist just to untangle all the shit I went through the last couple of weeks. The one I spoke to yesterday listened to me for a bit and said it sounds like a bit of anxiety and depression. I was actually feeling a lot better yesterday but I don't really know if it was because I wasn't at work or because I was talking things out with this therapist.
 

Hawkster

Member
Mar 23, 2019
426
Okay, so I've been thinking about it and ask myself about this:

What's in it for me to visit a therapist every week? Its not the expenses that concerns me. Its the effort I have to go through.

Like, what's good for me talk about my problems knowing that I'm gonna live with them for the rest of the days? At least Social Media is free and can give me few laughs and go aww whenever I see cat videos

So again, what's in it for me?
 

RoyalJCC

Member
Oct 27, 2017
331
Something happened.

A few months ago I applied for a scholarship in China, just to learn chinese. I was enjoying so much and I was itching for a new adventure on my life so I applied to the scholarship. Since it was a european scholarship, the chances of me getting it were pretty low. I was going through a rough time and thought that maybe changing my life, trying new things would lead me to a better and more exciting life.

Yesterday the result came in: I got the scholarship. Before opening the excel sheet to check the results, I was hoping not to get it. I've been really down lately, depressed, anxious, feeling like shit. I have a job, which already is going to make me travel sometimes (going to the Caribbean in a few months), it's a job on my field and it's pretty ok. Not very exciting but it's not super stressful. So, while checking the excel, I saw my name and saw that I was placed at the university of my choice - my girlfriend studies there so it wouldn't be super bad. But I don't feel really excited, I feel super anxious, depressed because when I think that I'll be away from my family and friends for a whole year, my heart breaks. My brother is going to have a kid next year and I won't be here if I accept it. My friend is getting married and I won't be here if I get it. Maybe it's because I'm afraid of getting out of my comfort zone, but I wasn't expecting this reaction. I was expecting to be excited, looking forward to quit my job and just grab this golden opportunity. I worked for this shit for almost a year, I did everything and I got it - but I feel like I don't want it.


I'm a pro at wasting opportunities and I always regret it later. I feel like shit because I'm one lucky guy and I keep wasting things and opportunities. Deep down something tells me to go for it but my rational side says "don't do it. You're not ok and you should focus on getting better and enjoy what you have now".

I hate choosing. Every time I have to choose something I get so fucking anxious and depressed that I simply give up on both and keep on being comfortable. I'm fucking tired, I feel like shit, I'm a fucking shame. I hate myself for it.

I have to quit my job this week if I am to accept the scholarship. The stress and pressure is killing me.
 

Lord of Ostia

Member
Oct 27, 2017
13,300
Okay, so I've been thinking about it and ask myself about this:

What's in it for me to visit a therapist every week? Its not the expenses that concerns me. Its the effort I have to go through.

Like, what's good for me talk about my problems knowing that I'm gonna live with them for the rest of the days? At least Social Media is free and can give me few laughs and go aww whenever I see cat videos

So again, what's in it for me?
Therapists are specially trained to help you cope and manage whatever you are struggling with. They have knowledge and expertise you don't have.

It's the same reason you go to the doctor when you are physically ill and don't just scroll WebMD and hit up the CVS.
 

Monkey DTT

Avenger
Oct 28, 2017
2,115
USA West Virginia
I'm a little proud of my self, I'm seeing the therapist today and I've kept up with all the work I needed to do and added excerise on top of it. Even at my lowest I still did it, I just have to keep it up.

Edit: nvm appointments are tomorrow lol proud delayed
 
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Retroarnold

Member
Nov 5, 2017
2,378
Hi Era,

I'm really struggling at the moment. I've struggled with depression and social anxiety for so long and have just started to get support. I thought I was doing well, but I had a mental breakdown on Friday night. I felt so alone and useless that I had to call the Samaritans just to speak to somebody.

I feel so worthless. My family don't care and my wife, bless her heart, has had to put up with so much that I'm now causing her stress. I feel like I'm a burden to all and there is no escape. I don't want to kill myself, but I wouldn't care if I didn't wake up tomorrow. I'm so confused and scared right now.

Look at what I've become. Posting my feelings to a random gaming message board because I have nobody else. Hoping that some random strangers give a shit.

Sorry. Hopefully I'll get better soon.