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stormfire

Member
Nov 26, 2018
2,847
Over 20 years ago, as Microsoft was gearing up to release the original Xbox, some at the company were concerned that they wouldn't have enough games to accompany the console at launch. So someone had the bright idea to try to buy Nintendo. Problem solved.
Only catch was that Nintendo, as we learned earlier this year, "laughed their asses off." Kevin Bachus, Microsoft's former director of third-party relations for Xbox, summed up the meeting:

Steve [Ballmer, Microsoft's former CEO] made us go meet with Nintendo to see if they would consider being acquired. They just laughed their asses off. Like, imagine an hour of somebody just laughing at you. That was kind of how that meeting went.
It's all water under the bridge in 2021, and in keeping with the spirit of looking back, Microsoft used its 20th anniversary memorial site to release some primary evidence of the attempted purchase. It features the (partial) publication of this 1999 letter from vice president Rick Thompson to Nintendo of America.
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kotaku.com

Microsoft Publishes 1999 Letter From Failed Attempt To Buy Nintendo

Nintendo would later 'laugh their asses off' at the proposal
 

AzureJet

Prophet of Regret
Member
Oct 25, 2017
197
You can't blame them for trying to but man, I think Nintendo leadership would rather have the company go under than sell out.

It's cool that we're getting to see little snippets of corporate history, though.
 

foxuzamaki

One Winged Slayer
Member
Oct 25, 2017
21,550
I kinda want to see their meetings with Sega, it feels like it almost happened but they reached some kind of compromise instead
 

SlipperyMoose

Banned
Oct 28, 2017
2,231
Ed Fries, one of the founding fathers of Xbox, also posted his notebook from when they were preparing to launch the original Xbox. In it you can see that he was trying to acquire blizzard. In fact, he responds later and says he actually tried twice.


And of course we remember the infamous story of Microsoft being like one signature away from buying Squaresoft but at the last minute they asked for way more money stating they made in error in their valuation.

 

Det

Member
Jul 30, 2020
12,857
That would have been a gargantuan purchase at the time, even today by any measure. Crude math shows Nintendo had a marketcap of ~$20B in October 1999 - add a premium and it would have cost MS $23B - $25B to complete.

Edit: Also by far the largest MS acquisition at the time. Nothing came close until LinkedIn in 2016.
 

thecouncil

Member
Oct 29, 2017
12,333
yeah i assumed it was a misspelling of arrange/arranged but then found arrign is a word, but seems to be specifically regarding law/court. ordering miyamoto to stand at the court of halo i guess.

yeah, i imagine its supposed to be 'arrange'. i was just kidding about the autocorrect. i dont think that would happen. (also, did autocorrect even exist in 99?)
 

Jroc

Banned
Jun 9, 2018
6,145
Didn't they try to buy Sega too?

I'm surprised that one didn't work out considering the company was going bankrupt and the brand was the most "western friendly" of the bunch (Sega USA was more of an equal partner than NOA ever was).
 

Enthus

One Winged Slayer
Member
Oct 27, 2017
1,581
Ed Fries, one of the founding fathers of Xbox, also posted his notebook from when they were preparing to launch the original Xbox. In it you can see that he was trying to acquire blizzard. In fact, he responds later and says he actually tried twice.


And of course we remember the infamous story of Microsoft being like one signature away from buying Squaresoft but at the last minute they asked for way more money stating they made in error in their valuation.



There's no way of knowing what would have happened, but I am so, so glad Microsoft failed to acquire these companies.
 

Qwark

Member
Oct 27, 2017
8,021
I love what-if info like this. I wish the letter was easier to read though.

There's no way of knowing what would have happened, but I am so, so glad Microsoft failed to acquire these companies.
Idk, I agree on Square, but seeing how Blizzard developed... maybe they could've used some more strict oversight.
 
Oct 28, 2017
3,771
Ed Fries, one of the founding fathers of Xbox, also posted his notebook from when they were preparing to launch the original Xbox. In it you can see that he was trying to acquire blizzard. In fact, he responds later and says he actually tried twice.


And of course we remember the infamous story of Microsoft being like one signature away from buying Squaresoft but at the last minute they asked for way more money stating they made in error in their valuation.



I vaguely remember rumours of Microsoft/Blizzard. Could be message board speculation from the early 00s.

The Square Soft one seems a bit wild considering Sony had equity in Square for a while (as did EA?).
 

8bit

Member
Oct 27, 2017
5,390
For anyone wondering about the yellow balls, it was a fake interview attributed to Yamauchi :

Microsoft's Ballmer beat off Asian genital challenge

More truth in jest

We've all wanted to say it. "Hey, Steve Ballmer, Why don't you suck my tiny yellow balls?"

Only the chosen few, however, get the chance to flaunt their undercarriage in front of Microsoft's CEO. One of these chosen few was Hiroshi Yamauchi - the former CEO of Nintendo - who apparently told Ballmer to taste his tadpoles, during a meeting between the two executives. Or so we learnt via the self-correcting blogosphere this week.

"I wanted to offend them, to show them something about Japanese Pride," Yamauchi recounts, in an interview. "Please, write Pride with a capital P when you transcribe this, thank you. Pride. So I saw that the translators were unreliable and was going to kick them out when I noticed Ballmer smiling and mouthing the word 'yellow' to his assistant. They thought this was a joke . . . Well, that did it. I stood on my chair and put my hands around mouth to amplify my voice, see, and said, in English, slowly and forming the words very carefully - HEY, BALLMER, WHY DON'T YOU SUCK MY TINY YELLOW BALLS?"


Shocking? Well, yes.


Even more gripping statements from Yamauchi can be found in a Wired interview due out in the February issue of the magazine. At least, that would be the case if the interview were real.
 

henlo_birb

Member
Dec 15, 2017
1,881
Never seen such a wild ride from such a short thread on here before. History in the making. Glad Nintendo is free from botNET
 

AtomicShroom

Tools & Automation
Verified
Oct 28, 2017
3,075
I'm so glad this never happened. I hope present-day MS recognizes how terrible this would have been for both parties involved.
 

infinityBCRT

Member
Nov 1, 2017
1,132
Yeah just saw the article linked above, my bad didn't know it was a meme. It's not real BTW.
Wait-- are you saying someone went through the hassle of making several fake pages of a WIRED Magazine article? I'm looking at the scans and it looks pretty legit. Someone went through a lot of trouble if this is fake.
 

StarStorm

Avenger
Oct 25, 2017
7,594
I would be laughing too. Xbox hasn't launched yet and Nintendo had absolutely no reason to sell out lol.