-
Ever wanted an RSS feed of all your favorite gaming news sites? Go check out our new Gaming Headlines feed! Read more about it here.
-
We have made minor adjustments to how the search bar works on ResetEra. You can read about the changes here.
Misogynist Living with my Girlfriend? Or am I wrong?
- Thread starter P-MAC
- Start date
- Status
He sounds like the textbook definition of a man child, sexism and all.
If the landlady wont kick him out for doing ridiculous awful roommate shit, then she should get out of there.
If the landlady wont kick him out for doing ridiculous awful roommate shit, then she should get out of there.
Sounds like a dick. He doesn't work or do much it seems, how does he even pay the rent?
I would try to get your girlfriend out of there if the landlord is unwilling, or unable, to evict him for his behavior.
I would try to get your girlfriend out of there if the landlord is unwilling, or unable, to evict him for his behavior.
"Accidentally" format his computer when he does decide to go out of the apartment that one time a week.
Talk to the landlady girl. If she's not going to do anything, your gf might want to look for another place to stay. If that's not an option, then she'll just have to put up with it until she can find a new place. You getting physical with the guy, aside from being illegal and liable to land you with an assault charge, is just childish, and not the way adults solve their problems. Sometimes you have to put up with shitty people if you're not in a position to change your situation. And I don't say that as someone who doesn't think what he's doing is wrong, just that I've had my share of having to deal with shitty people for extended periods of time.
I wouldn't meddle TOO much, especially if she is unable to get out of the situation immediately. The best option would to try and curb some of the inconvenience your girlfriend is experiencing by trying to talk to him or escalating it to the landlord. Violence will not solve anything, or even threatening this guy will probably only make things worse for your girlfriend.
I don't see how violence would do anything except land you with a criminal record. He's apparently an inconsiderate housemate and this is putting extreme strain on your girlfriend's sleep. She's a grownup and sounds very capable and experienced, so she ought to be able to deal with it without any help from you. The most obvious solution is for her to to find alternative living arrangements.
I think you need to combine all the choices. Beat up everyone, move them all out and then live there with your girlfriend. Then have a talk about it.
The landlady should ask him to attend a house meeting with herself and your GF. They can discuss the noise issue and being as there won't be a door in the way he will have to respond instead of being ignorant.
From there she can move towards eviction or whatever needs to be done.
Obviously don't beat him up, so far he has been rude but you would be the bad guy if you escalate it to violence.
From there she can move towards eviction or whatever needs to be done.
Obviously don't beat him up, so far he has been rude but you would be the bad guy if you escalate it to violence.
Sounds like your girlfriend should move in with you. The roommate is an asshole, but the woman who owns the place doesn't seem to want to kick him out or do anything about it, so I would say your primary responsibility is to your girlfriend.
Dis here is a man child. Sounds like the land lady should kick him out or you should move your gf in with you.
First, lol at the barely concealed names on the text screencaps.
Second, the guy is an absolute asshole.
Third, if it's only up to the girl to evict him, convince her to do it. Seriously.
Edit: Do NOT beat him up haha. Like, seriously. That is absolutely the stupidest decision you can make, and could have serious legal ramifications to boot. And the girl/your girlfriend won't see you as a hero, they'll see you as someone who made things worse.
Second, the guy is an absolute asshole.
Third, if it's only up to the girl to evict him, convince her to do it. Seriously.
Edit: Do NOT beat him up haha. Like, seriously. That is absolutely the stupidest decision you can make, and could have serious legal ramifications to boot. And the girl/your girlfriend won't see you as a hero, they'll see you as someone who made things worse.
OP
OP
If you think my post was about being a tough guy you didn't read it lol. I don't consider myself tough in the slightest but in the case of absolute last resort when people are pushed to their wits end these things happen. I already made it clear I don't think this is a sensible option but at the moment can't find any other.
Thanks to everybody else with the helpful responses so far :)
OP
OP
Lmao sorry about that. I was doing it on my bust up iPhone so it was the vest I could do. Didn't realise it was THAT bad however so may go back and cover some more lmao
Do you sleep on a twin OP? Would there really be no room for you to just have her sleep at your place, maybe a few sets of clothes, and keep the rest of her stuff in storage (renting storage for a few months isn't that expensive at all). Maybe one year in is soon for you to be moving in with a significant other and that's compounded by this so I'd understand that, but unless you literally live in a cardboard box I don't see why you couldn't make it work.
I've dealt with a very similar situation though OP. Don't wanna go into details but a lot of the traits seem very similar to the guy I was dealing with. Especially the whole commenting on her size and protecting them and acting like he has to be the man of the apartment. The toxicity will just get worse. I'd personally go and talk to him. Knock on his door until he answers, stay until he'll talk with you, and resolve it, with your GF and the landlord there if possible. If nothing changes, she should bail. It sounds like the LL personally knows him through family/other friends by those texts, and I wouldn't' be surprised if she continues to extend him multiple chances.
Don't touch the guy though, or expect a nice assault charge. These guys love to act ready to fight until it's them who gets hurt.
My experience with these types of guys is exactly the same. They'll swear up and down that they won't talk on the phone/text, want to talk face to face. But that's because its the place where they can control the narrative, control the environment, and can make excuses. They can walk away, claim they didn't hear you, make excuses. Phone calls you can't really do that. Text there is proof (case in point, OP's screen shots). You can show other people their true self, but not when its a one on one session.
Classic gaslighting and maniuplation.
I've dealt with a very similar situation though OP. Don't wanna go into details but a lot of the traits seem very similar to the guy I was dealing with. Especially the whole commenting on her size and protecting them and acting like he has to be the man of the apartment. The toxicity will just get worse. I'd personally go and talk to him. Knock on his door until he answers, stay until he'll talk with you, and resolve it, with your GF and the landlord there if possible. If nothing changes, she should bail. It sounds like the LL personally knows him through family/other friends by those texts, and I wouldn't' be surprised if she continues to extend him multiple chances.
Don't touch the guy though, or expect a nice assault charge. These guys love to act ready to fight until it's them who gets hurt.
My experience with these types of guys is exactly the same. They'll swear up and down that they won't talk on the phone/text, want to talk face to face. But that's because its the place where they can control the narrative, control the environment, and can make excuses. They can walk away, claim they didn't hear you, make excuses. Phone calls you can't really do that. Text there is proof (case in point, OP's screen shots). You can show other people their true self, but not when its a one on one session.
Classic gaslighting and maniuplation.
i don't really see misogyny here, he's just being obstinate.
if he wants a in person dialog i'd say hash it out?
if he wants a in person dialog i'd say hash it out?
That's just mischievous. True evil would be downloading an easily detectable LoL cheat app configured to run on startup and minimized to the background so that the account is banned after the game is played.
OP
OP
Thanks, means a lot to hear from somebody who kinda understands how I feel. In all honesty my apartment kinda IS that small - she has a lot of stuff lol and also i don't even think she would out of loyalty to the other girl. I will bring it up though and so far I'm probaby thinking of going with the "keep knocking until he has no choice but to talk" strategy somebody else above mentioned
I was not going to suggest number 4 but then I saw those text messages.
The whole thing is ridiculous because obviously if the girl who owns the house got creeped on by the guy AND he's being disruptive to another roommate then the owner needs to kick him the fuck out. Or she should threaten to if he doesn't change his behavior.
If she doesn't, your beef should be with her and not the guy. He's an asshole and will do what he's allowed to do, where-as the owner actually has the power to get rid of him.
Let's be real you're not going to beat this guy up. One, you're potentially opening yourself up for a criminal record. Two, you have no idea what the guy is like and he may end up kicking your ass. Don't be dumb. Read what I wrote above and if the owner doesn't do anything then your gf needs to find a new place.
If she doesn't, your beef should be with her and not the guy. He's an asshole and will do what he's allowed to do, where-as the owner actually has the power to get rid of him.
Let's be real you're not going to beat this guy up. One, you're potentially opening yourself up for a criminal record. Two, you have no idea what the guy is like and he may end up kicking your ass. Don't be dumb. Read what I wrote above and if the owner doesn't do anything then your gf needs to find a new place.
OP
OP
They've tried to talk to him in person about it several times, he avoids them, and even straight blanks them
2 or 3. If 2 is not possible because the landlady won't do it, then definitely 3. The landlady being stuck in the situation in that case would be a product of her own doinh if she isn't willing to kick him out.
Also, you can still read the names in the txts.
Also, you can still read the names in the txts.
Before reading the texts, I would have said talk to him.
After reading the texs, fuck that guy. Landlady should evict him, and it doesn't seem like it'd be too tough of a sell to her.
After reading the texs, fuck that guy. Landlady should evict him, and it doesn't seem like it'd be too tough of a sell to her.
Maybe he just has online classes? Even so, staying in his room all day is unhealthy.
I would have had to have a stern talking to the guy if he did that. That is so rude to do and I do not think it is because he is social awkward but that he is disrespectful to the people he is living with.
Misogyny is a reach here but he's an asshole. Your girl should move out.
LOL @ 4. You may get your ass kicked. Violence isn't the answer here, he's rude but has he put your girlfriend in physical danger?
LOL @ 4. You may get your ass kicked. Violence isn't the answer here, he's rude but has he put your girlfriend in physical danger?
Guy does sound like an asshole, but option 4 honestly shouldn't even really cross your mind. Violent assault is pathetic and just makes you seem like a person who can't control himself. You would just be even worse than him. Trying anything else from the options seems like a good idea though and of course start with the option 1 and setting some rules, stern warning about the noise which of course should come from the landlord. Hopefully that will resolve the situation so nobody needs to move out. I'd rather get rid of the person who causes the disturbance.
Edit: And yeah those names are same as visible.
Edit: And yeah those names are same as visible.
Seriously. Also unless I'm missing something (I didn't read it over meticulously), what on earth does the phonological loop or any model of working memory have to do with this situation? His excuse for not talking to his roommate is he had his headphones on, but he told his brother about it which indicates he did know...and his response is just "Phonological loop. Google it."
...What?
Another option would be to have her come stay with you and put her shit in storage until you can get a place.
OP
OP
Thanks I've done that! I was thinking I would just do it later as no one is finding anybody with first names only, but you're absolutely right. The texts are pretty necessary to understand how he is I think so I will edit again whenever I get chance
- Status