Most quotable Simpsons episodes

[NinjaCoachZ]

What Simpsons episodes are the ones that are the densest with all-time classic quotes?

I'm going to have to throw my vote in for Mr. Plow.

• "It was a pornography store. I was buying pornography."
• "So long Superman, your secret identity is safe with me!"
• "Do you come with the car?"
• "You're looking for Mr. Plow? What, no, this is Tony Plow! You know, from Leave it to Beaver? ........Yeah, they were gay."
• "Hey, that's not a dummy!" "This exhibit is closed."
• "It may be on a lousy channel, but the Simpsons are on TV!"

And finally, this entire scene, which is too perfect to put in text.



Like that's just over half a dozen of my all-time favourite Simpsons quotes and moments, and they're all from one episode. That is goddamn solid.

Any other shouts?

 

[itwasTuesday]

I vote for the Monorail episode
"the ring came off my pudding can"

 

[mernst23]

I vote for the Monorail episode
"the ring came off my pudding can"

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Batman's a scientist.

 

[Trouble]

"Dear Mom and Dad, I no longer fear hell, because I've been to Kamp Krusty."

 

[NinjaCoachZ]

"Dear Mom and Dad, I no longer fear hell, because I've been to Kamp Krusty."

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"This is the crappiest camp we've ever seen! Can we say "crappiest" on TV?"
"On this network you can."

 

[Infinity Times Two]

The best part of the Mr. Plow episode is Homer driving up an old fucked up bridge and seeing a perfectly modern stable bridge right next to it.

Always makes me chuckle.

Also, "Put it in H!".

 

[Raigan-etc]

Probably the Mono-Rail episode

 

[Tambini]

Last exit to springfield

Dental plan, Lisa needs braces
It was the best of times it was the blurst of times
The Japanese? Those sandal-wearing goldfish tenders?
Hired goons?
Where's my burrito?
It was the style at the time

 

[Anna]

I Am Furious (yellow)

 

[Shoe]

Last exit to springfield

Dental plan, Lisa needs braces
It was the best of times it was the blurst of times
The Japanese? Those sandal-wearing goldfish tenders?
Hired goons?
Where's my burrito?
It was the style at the time

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I'm beginning to think that Homer Simpson was not the brilliant tactician I thought he was.

 

[NinjaCoachZ]

I Am Furious (yellow)

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One of the best post-2000s episodes.

"Thank god his pants stayed on."

I vote for the Monorail episode
"the ring came off my pudding can"

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Probably the Mono-Rail episode

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I call the big one Bitey!

Last exit to springfield

Dental plan, Lisa needs braces
It was the best of times it was the blurst of times
The Japanese? Those sandal-wearing goldfish tenders?
Hired goons?
Where's my burrito?
It was the style at the time

Click to shrink...

Let's take a look at the Big Book of British Smiles!

 

[Silvergun-Blue]

"Women will like what I tell them to like" from the episode where Homer decides to become an inventor.

Some of the guys in that Player unknown/camel toe thread seem to have taken this one to heart.

 

[Magnet_Man]

Definitely one of the Treehouse of Horrors episodes. Since they're short stories, they have to get the setup and the jokes out as fast as possible.

I'm going to go with V with The Shinning, Time and Pushment, and Nightmare Cafeteria. Although the third act didn't have much, the first two were gold.

"Tell you what, we come back and everyone's slaughtered, I owe you a coke."
"No TV and no beer make Homer something something..." "Go crazy?" "DON'T MIND IF I DO!"
"You mean 'Shining'" "SHH!! You wanna get sued!?"
"Just don't contact me between 4 and 5, that's Willie's time!"
"All right loony, show me what you got!" *axe'd* "Acg, is that best you can do?" *thud*
"TV! Teacher! Mother! Secret lover. Urge to kill fading.... fading--RISING ....fading .....fading ....gone...."
"I'm the first non-Brazilian to travel though time!" "Correction Homer, you're the second." "That's right Mr. Peabody!" "Quiet you!"
"Stupid bug! You go squish now!"
"Don't touch anything? I'LL TOUCH WHATEVER I FEEL LIKE!!"
"Homer! You're not home yet, but I can help you. Just do exactly as I tell--*axe'd* AAARRR" "This is indeed a disturbing universe"
"Oh I wish I wish I didn't kill that fish"
"Don't worry kids! "Willie's coming to save the lot of ya!" *axe'd* "Acg, I'm bad at this."

 

[yepyepyep]

Homer Badman

See you in hell candy boys!
Homer sleeps in an oxygen tent he believes gives him strange sexual powers.
Your tears say more than real evidence ever could.
Let's have less Homer Simpsons and more money for public schools.
Sw-sw-sw-sw-sweet can.
Are you hugging the TV?
We'll all live under the sea! No more accusations, just friendly crustaceans. Under the seeeeeeeea!- Homer that is your solution to everything, it's not going to happen.
Now, this technology is new to me, but I'm pretty sure that's Homer Simpson in the oven, rotating slowly. His body temperature has risen to over 400 degrees - he's literally stewing in his own juices.

 

[NinjaCoachZ]

"Women will like what I tell them to like" from the episode where Homer decides to become an inventor.

Some of the guys in that Player unknown/camel toe thread seem to have taken this one to heart.

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I think this is the kind of advice people like that might give.

Definitely one of the Treehouse of Horrors episodes. Since they're short stories, they have to get the setup and the jokes out as fast as possible.

I'm going to go with V with The Shinning, Time and Pushment, and Nightmare Cafeteria. Although the third act didn't have much, the first two were gold.

"Tell you what, we come back and everyone's slaughtered, I owe you a coke."
"No TV and no beer make Homer something something..." "Go crazy?" "DON'T MIND IF I DO!"
"You mean 'Shining'" "SHH!! You wanna get sued!?"
"Just don't contact me between 4 and 5, that's Willie's time!"
"All right loony, show me what you got!" *axe'd* "Acg, is that best you can do?" *thud*
"TV! Teacher! Mother! Secret lover. Urge to kill fading.... fading--RISING ....fading .....fading ....gone...."
"I'm the first non-Brazilian to travel though time!" "Correction Homer, you're the second." "That's right Mr. Peabody!" "Quiet you!"
"Stupid bug! You go squish now!"
"Don't touch anything? I'LL TOUCH WHATEVER I FEEL LIKE!!"
"Homer! You're not home yet, but I can help you. Just do exactly as I tell--*axe'd* AAARRR" "This is indeed a disturbing universe"
"Oh I wish I wish I didn't kill that fish"
"Don't worry kids! "Wollie's coming to save the lot of ya!" *axe'd* "Acg, I'm bad at this."

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Okay, as much love I gave to Mr. Plow, I think Treehouse of Horror V has to take this one. That might just be my all-time favourite episode. I knew it was jam-fucking packed, but man oh MAN laying it out like that is fantastic. The ones I've bolded have to be like, top 5 quote material.

This one isn't even technically a joke and yet it's absolutely fucking hilarious.

 

[honest_ry]

Could name hundreds of the may famous ones but I'm gonna name a few I use quite a lot in real life.

"Stop the madness, start the movie!" - Whenever I'm at he cinema.

"Where's my burrito, where's my burrito?" - when waiting on food.

"I'm not easily impressed, look a blue car!" - every day.

"The goggles! They do nothing" - swimming.

 

[Deleted member 11637]

Homer vs. the 18th Amendment:

"Who are the designated drivers? Beat it! I got no room for cheapskates."

"Won't somebody please think of the children!"

"Uh, election in November. Election in November."
"What? Again? This stupid country."

"We're going out, Marge! If we don't come back, avenge our deaths!"
"Alright!"

"This isn't a very happy birthday for Rex Banner."

"Well, you all know what laughing sounds like."

"Alcohol: the cause of, and solution to, all the world's problems."

And so forth...

 

[NinjaCoachZ]

Homer vs. the 18th Amendment:

"Who are the designated drivers? Beat it! I got no room for cheapskates."

"Won't somebody please think of the children!"

"Uh, election in November. Election in November."
"What? Again? This stupid country."

"We're going out, Marge! If we don't come back, avenge our deaths!"
"Alright!"

"This isn't a very happy birthday for Rex Banner."

"Well, you all know what laughing sounds like."

"Alcohol: the cause of, and solution to, all the world's problems."

And so forth...

Click to shrink...

That episode is Troy McClure's first appearance. That alone is an amazing legacy.

 

[gigaslash]

Homer the Heretic

Krusty: "Hello, I'm collecting for the Brotherhood of Jewish Clowns. Last year, tornadoes claimed the lives of seventy-five Jewish clowns. The worst incident was outside our convention in Lubbock, Texas. There were floppy shoes and rainbow wigs everywhere!"

Homer: "Boy, everyone is stupid, except me.

Homer: You know, I have a feeling there's a lesson here... No don't tell me! I'll get it... The Lord is vengeful! Oh, spiteful one! Show me who to smite, and they shall be smoten!"

Apu: "Please do not offer my god a peanut."

 

[TeamLeftMatch]

Cape fear has really quotable lines

"It's German for The Bart, The"

"How can anyone who speaks German ever be evil"

"We have a special message. Bart Simpson I'm going to kill you slow and painfully. HAHAHA Wipeout *surfer music plays*"

*Homer brandishing a butchers knife while talking fast* "Bart do you want some brownies before you go to bed"

"Bart do you want to see my chainsaw and hockey mask"

Quick edit: let's add that Mr. Thomson scene in there as well

 

[Andrew J]

I'm a big fan of the Season 23 Episode "The Book Job":

"It's not a crime to sit in the skull of a Tyrannosaurus!"
"That was an Allosaurus."
"I wanna call a paleontologist!"

"I hope we put in enough steampunk, whatever that is."

"You switched the drives!?"
"I got the idea from every movie ever made."

"I just don't like the taste...of poison."

 

[Dream Machine]

"Won't somebody please think of the children?" or "Stop, stop he's already dead!" are probably the most quoted.

 

[jayu26]

I vote for the Monorail episode
"the ring came off my pudding can"

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First reply is always right. I immediately thought of that episode after reading the title.

 

[Deleted member 11637]

That episode is Troy McClure's first appearance. That alone is an amazing legacy.

Click to shrink...

You're thinking of Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandment, which is darn quotable in its own right:

"Now, today's Christian doesn't think he needs God. He thinks he's got it made. He's got his hi-fi. His boob tube. And his instant pizza-pie."

Homer: Oh. Look at this way, when you had breakfast this morning, did you pay for it?
Lisa: No.
Homer: And did you pay for those clothes you're wearing?
Lisa: No, I didn't.
Homer: Well, run for the hills, Ma Barker! Before I call the Feds!
Lisa: Dad, I think that's pretty spurious.
Homer: Well, thank you, honey.

Homer: Quick, Bart! Hide the stuff I borrowed from work!
Bart: Borrowed?
Homer: Alright, that stuff I stole from work.

Lenny: Hey, big fight coming up.
Carl: Yeah, you wanna come over to my house and listen to round-by-round updates on the radio?
Lenny: Oh, yeah, okay. Oh, and then after the fight, we can watch the still photos on the 11:00 news.
Carl: Not too shabby!

 

[NinjaCoachZ]

You're thinking of Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandment, which is darn quotable in its own right:

"Now, today's Christian doesn't think he needs God. He thinks he's got it made. He's got his hi-fi. His boob tube. And his instant pizza-pie."

Homer: Oh. Look at this way, when you had breakfast this morning, did you pay for it?
Lisa: No.
Homer: And did you pay for those clothes you're wearing?
Lisa: No, I didn't.
Homer: Well, run for the hills, Ma Barker! Before I call the Feds!
Lisa: Dad, I think that's pretty spurious.
Homer: Well, thank you, honey.

Homer: Quick, Bart! Hide the stuff I borrowed from work!
Bart: Borrowed?
Homer: Alright, that stuff I stole from work.

Lenny: Hey, big fight coming up.
Carl: Yeah, you wanna come over to my house and listen to round-by-round updates on the radio?
Lenny: Oh, yeah, okay. Oh, and then after the fight, we can watch the still photos on the 11:00 news.
Carl: Not too shabby!

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Oh hey, that one works too!

 

[Congo Jack]

Homer the Heretic

Krusty: "Hello, I'm collecting for the Brotherhood of Jewish Clowns. Last year, tornadoes claimed the lives of seventy-five Jewish clowns. The worst incident was outside our convention in Lubbock, Texas. There were floppy shoes and rainbow wigs everywhere!"

Homer: "Boy, everyone is stupid, except me.

Homer: You know, I have a feeling there's a lesson here... No don't tell me! I'll get it... The Lord is vengeful! Oh, spiteful one! Show me who to smite, and they shall be smoten!"

Apu: "Please do not offer my god a peanut."

Click to shrink...

This is my answer as well, as not only is it so quotable, but it has one of my most favorite moments from the show.

 

[Deleted member 9241]

Lisa the Vegetarian gets my vote. It's quotable from beginning to end. Lots of amazing sight gags and wordsmanship.

"Among the show's staff, Mirkin, Kirkland, Groening, and writer Ian Maxtone-Graham list it as one of their favorite episodes. In the DVD audio commentary for the episode, Mirkin called the opening sequence at the petting zoo one of his favorite set pieces in the show's history. He thought it was "absolutely hilarious", and praised Kirkland for his animation. Mirkin also enjoyed the use of Apu in the episode, because Apu shows Lisa that "the way to get people to change is through tolerance and understanding". Groening considers the joke in which the family forms a conga line to be one of the "high-points" in the history of The Simpsons.

You don't make friends with salad! You don't make friends with salad!

 

[NinjaCoachZ]

Lisa the Vegetarian gets my vote. It's quotable from beginning to end. Lots of amazing sight gags and wordsmanship.

"Among the show's staff, Mirkin, Kirkland, Groening, and writer Ian Maxtone-Graham list it as one of their favorite episodes. In the DVD audio commentary for the episode, Mirkin called the opening sequence at the petting zoo one of his favorite set pieces in the show's history. He thought it was "absolutely hilarious", and praised Kirkland for his animation. Mirkin also enjoyed the use of Apu in the episode, because Apu shows Lisa that "the way to get people to change is through tolerance and understanding". Groening considers the joke in which the family forms a conga line to be one of the "high-points" in the history of The Simpsons.

You don't make friends with salad! You don't make friends with salad!

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It's fun to know Paul McCartney agreed to do the episode only if Lisa being a vegetarian was made permanent, and it actually was.