-
Ever wanted an RSS feed of all your favorite gaming news sites? Go check out our new Gaming Headlines feed! Read more about it here.
My Co-Worker says she's not Racist...
- Thread starter BlackFyre
- Start date
Dude stop caucasian isn't a racist word you're reaching really hard here.
I'd be interested to see what would happen if one were to ask this lady to name anybody at all that they find is attractive that isn't White. I'm guessing that lady can't name one. Not even "the one guy from that one show".
That would be the real test.
I feel lucky to mostly enjoy talking to my coworkers. It seems on Era that the vast majority can't stand any interactions with theirs, so I'm glad not to be in that situation.
In terms of is this lady racist? Based on the OP it's hard to say. Probably a bit. It's very odd that you and your coworkers sit around talking about who is or is not attractive, however, as that's not the most professional topic to talk about.
In terms of is this lady racist? Based on the OP it's hard to say. Probably a bit. It's very odd that you and your coworkers sit around talking about who is or is not attractive, however, as that's not the most professional topic to talk about.
Eh, if I ever heard a person say "I only find people of this race/ethnic group attractive", or "I don't find people of this race/ethnic group attractive", I might not throw them in the racist pile immediately, but I definitely wouldn't say they're NOT racist.
The defensive comment and her behavior towards PoC at work are decent indicators that she has, whether conscious of it or not, bigoted ideals. Usually, when you get the type of vibe you're describing, it turns out accurate.
That said, unless she's done something egregious or has had multiple complaints made about her due to micro-agressions or the like that cause an uncomfortable work environment, the only thing to do is file it away in your head that she's not a pleasant person.
The reality of the world is that there are always going to be people who think and believe things that are appalling and/or offensive to you. But unless they're actually doing something negative to you or the people around you, you'll have to learn to co-exist. Keep your interactions as work-centric as possible and let that be that.
That said, unless she's done something egregious or has had multiple complaints made about her due to micro-agressions or the like that cause an uncomfortable work environment, the only thing to do is file it away in your head that she's not a pleasant person.
The reality of the world is that there are always going to be people who think and believe things that are appalling and/or offensive to you. But unless they're actually doing something negative to you or the people around you, you'll have to learn to co-exist. Keep your interactions as work-centric as possible and let that be that.
Honestly I agree.
Living in different places throughout life, it was always the predominantly white smaller more conservative areas where non-white people did substantially worse dating wise. Even little things like it always being white celebrities fawned over, and everyone being involved in activities where all the participants where white etc. it is a night and day difference from being in a diverse environment.
There are likely Native American people that you have seen without even fully realizing they are Native American.
As for the bolded, I can't believe this has to be said every time this topic comes up but being homosexual is a sexual orientation. Refusing to date Indian people or find them attractive is not. You aren't born with a sexual indifference or distaste of a specific race.
See I'm obviously not noticing something other people are, at a casual glance that guy looks white to me
Yeah, she would probably come undone from comment she made.
It's difficult to gauge if its a racist thing when the picture shown looks like a young guy who just fell out of a boyband . I can only speak from my experience in that i know for sure my wife wouldn't be as attracted to this guy as Brad Pitt either. Generally, older people are more inclined to be attracted to people of their own age.
Yeah, if you can't find a single person of a certain ethnicity attractive, there's a problem with you
Disagree. It does make you racist. For something as complex as ethnicity as race, it means you're putting people on mental boxes if you don't find anyone in a "group" attractive.
Yes it's racist because not everyone in a certain race looks the same. Even if you prefer certain qualities or features it's guaranteed you can find someone of a different race with said features.
If it's an arbitrary combination or threshold of features it means you're making exceptions for one race and not another. Hence, racism.
Just because that sort of racism is so deeply ingrained in American culture that it has become so accepted does not make it not racist.
I guess from now on I'll just refer to all white Americans as Slavic.
It's all the same to you, right, Eastern Europeans, we all look alike.
Brad Pitt - Slavic
Tom Brady - Slavic
Joe Biden - Slavic
Same thing...
If one gravitates toward what is familiar then that makes them lazy at worst, not racist. I look at light skinned women as people that may have a similar background as myself, being a light skinned dude. It's really not that hard of a concept to accept. You can be attracted to people on the most basic level just by looking at them. You can feel a connection that may or may not exist. It's not to the exclusion of other ethnicities. If it is, then you're racist.
Hmm
Googles
One thing is certain: She's insane
That is one tasty dish.
Is not that she doesn't find the guy attractive, but her behavior to not caucasian people coupled with this.
Lady might be racist but if she is not causing any shit I wouldn't bother. Now if she was a loud trump supporter or was saying racist shit about groups of people I would be singing a different tune.
There are too many problems in life to be a racist detective at work. And honestly I am not sure only being attracted to one race makes you racist.
There are too many problems in life to be a racist detective at work. And honestly I am not sure only being attracted to one race makes you racist.
It's an unconcious racism present in a lot of us. Though I still think it's possible to be not personally be attracted to someone and recognize they are going to be found very attractive by many other people.
So what on earth is your solution? Assume racism if someone doesn't find a specific black man attractive?
I don't know if this is "both sides-ing", but I can have some empathy/understanding for the person in this situation. With standards of beauty and attractiveness, the older you are the more narrow your viewpoint of that is. For the longest time white skin was a near requirement as presented by media, etc. That stuff can subconciously be hard to change after a lifetime of conditioning. The person has to work to change it in himself/herself.
I don't know if not being cognizant of it equals racist though (I don't have a problem if one of thinks it is either). It's certainly ignorant, though I don't mean it in such a pejorative sense (naive or lacking self awareness is more appropriate). But insitutionally and as a whole its certainly racism.
I don't know if not being cognizant of it equals racist though (I don't have a problem if one of thinks it is either). It's certainly ignorant, though I don't mean it in such a pejorative sense (naive or lacking self awareness is more appropriate). But insitutionally and as a whole its certainly racism.
There are a lot of grocery checkers like this. So talkative to the white guy before you, and when it's my turn to check out, silence. Of course she is racist.
I feel like you're being willfully ignorant. In the context of America, racism is speaking to the skewed power dynamics that come from appearance and not from a cultural perspective. Yes, specific sub-groups of white people have experienced genuine racism put towards then (see: Irish-americans), but in the broader context of things people tend to place the appearance of whiteness over people of color. It doesn't matter what part of Europe you're from; If you look white, you inherently have more privilege than your average black man in the United Stated.
That's the sort of racism that's being spoken to.
Edit: Oh they were banned. Darn.
This pretty much. Attraction is subjective. She seems like a pill but without more evidence beyond this anecdotal she just sounds annoying. You should Henry Golding on the line, invite him to your office, ask him to lightly flirt with her and see how fast she says yes to a dinner date. People are strange.
Not finding an individual of a particular race attractive isn't racist, unless their race factors into why you don't find them attractive, which is massively racist.
Some of you are casually ignoring the part where OP said she treats PoC employees differently than white employees and the whole part where she said "I'm not racist" unbidden.
She's racist, whether she knows it or not and her preferences in what men she finds attractive reflect her racism because she clearly has an ingrained racial prejudice.
She's racist, whether she knows it or not and her preferences in what men she finds attractive reflect her racism because she clearly has an ingrained racial prejudice.
I mean, he's got more of a "my handsome neighbor" vibe while Brad Pitt is that guy you can't even believe is real. So . . . part of me wants to say she just has impossible standards.
Impossible standards that only include white people.
Impossible standards that only include white people.
You know we are talking about a woman in this topic that seems to be showing a clear pattern.
There is no simple solution, which is kinda the point when racists do shit like that.
Case in point, there were TONS of racists that would shit on say, Obama for things that had nothing to do with his race, only to give a pass to worse behavior by Trump.
People do have different levels of attractiveness to different people without being racist. To give a silly example I do not feel particularly attracted to Lupita Nyong'o although I know a lot of people find her stunning. On the other hand I had a huge crush as a teen on Angela basset because of that movie strange days and to this day I still find her to be a goddess.
Lady on op's story is probably racist though.
Lady on op's story is probably racist though.
I feel like you just moved the goalpost on me because I've been speaking in general this entire time. My first post was providing an example that very clearly did not apply to this individual, which is what you responded to. Plenty of people are also addressing the idea on a wide-scale level and not within the context of a single person.
Beyond that, the woman didn't discard an entire race. With additional context? Probably a little racist. Without it? Nah fam. To speak in an anecdote, god knows I've said something about how I don't find someone attractive and immediately had the mental whiplash of, "Oh god I hope someone didn't think I meant that I don't find all latino people attractive." Especially if I'm commenting on something about their appearance that can be part of a stereotype. Their nose is too big, etc.
I agree to the idea the if someone doesn't on one from an entire race is attractive in any form it racist. However, what if that specific person of that race has something close to white features and lighter. Is it racist to only find them attractive?
With the way cultures and the media heavily push certain traits, it would seem that people will develop biases. It wouldn't be strange to have people only think real beauty is close to whiteness.
With the way cultures and the media heavily push certain traits, it would seem that people will develop biases. It wouldn't be strange to have people only think real beauty is close to whiteness.
Its more like people tend to find others more attractive the more time they interact with them personally.
Pretty sure that when you did that, you didn't immediately give an example of a White person who you did find attractive in contrast. Immediately followed by stating you weren't racist.
All that adds to the context here.
Can we agree that Caucasian as a synonym for White is stupid if you think about how people from the Caucasus look like? Or if you're an anthropologist?
Yeah, this is how I'm seeing it. She's probably racist OP. Especially considering what you've said about how she treats PoC coworkers.
I feel like this is really getting into the weeds, but it is a normal part of conversation to provide contrast to your statement.
"I'm not a Jennifer Lopez sorta guy. More into Jennifer Lawrence." What am I actually saying with that statement? My intent is to say that I find a certain look--that may have absolutely nothing to do with skin color--more attractive than another. Brad Pitt in the specific instance is like... milquetoast, low-hanging fruit response. He's like a standard go-to when older people think about an attractive individual.
As for the "I'm not racist," statement? Absolutely true, but you're haranguing someone for what could have effectively been stumbling over their own words. You're a assuming that the temptation to make sure that everyone knows I wasn't speaking about the wider array of people didn't exist. It did, I just know better, lol. You get a lot of dubious looks when you say these things sometimes.
It's when you combine this verbal fumbling with the rest of the context that you can begin to look at a bigger picture.
Sexuality is a spectrum, not a discrete scale. Thus, it's possible new information could cause your evaluation of self-placement on this scale to change. Thus, the joke that someone could be so attractive so as to change your self-rating on the scale.
He doesn't seem particularily "colored" judging from the photos. But he does look "young and clean". Maybe she's more into gruffier types of dudes ? Like todays Brad Pitt in constrast of younger Brad ?
I mean, as a straight guy, the younger looking dudes usually look blah to me, highly prefering older dudes (and black guys in general, not sure why). So maybe her preferences are more like mine ?
Try to show her some dude like Idris Elba maybe ?
I mean, as a straight guy, the younger looking dudes usually look blah to me, highly prefering older dudes (and black guys in general, not sure why). So maybe her preferences are more like mine ?
Try to show her some dude like Idris Elba maybe ?
Last edited:
Ah, gotcha. I'm autistic, so that's the thing I think of immediately when I hear the word spectrum (because way too many people say shitty things like "we're all on the spectrum", which is super dismissive and offensive).
Of course, I'm also queer so I should have understood XD
