My dachahund swallowed a baby bird whole.

[Doober]

The damned bird was feathered and only slightly smaller than my 12-lb. dog's head, but despite my desperate efforts to pry his jaws open he impossibly managed to gulp the poor thing down.

I was equal parts horrified and furious; I had JUST given him a special treat of wet food with his afternoon meal, not to mention went out and bought him doggie ice cream for the first time today. He gets the best of everything - including my attention - but he turns into a massive fucking prick whenever he gets something dangerous in his mouth, which he tends to do.

I called a vet who said that he'll probably be fine unless the bird was sick with something, so for now he's crated until I can be reasonably sure he won't barf it back up.

I'm still in a sort of shock. Like, damn dude. He's always been trademark stubborn and honestly kind of an ass sometimes, but this is the first time I've considered calling up my ex and letting her have him. He's never been especially sweet or loving; even now he's just kind of sitting in his crate, looking at me with glassy shark eyes. Not sorry. Like, I love him but... just damn, dude...

 

[Alucrid]

doober,man

 

[Ryuelli]

Find a big bird to swallow him whole to teach him a lesson.

 

[Deleted member 12379]

next time you take him out that hard part in the doodoo is prolly the beak

 

[CM_Ace]

Find a big bird to swallow him whole to teach him a lesson.

Click to shrink...

 

[GulAtiCa]

Damn...

 

[Strafer]

Congrats, your dog is a killer. :D

 

[Heromanz]

Good source of protein

 

[TheCthultist]

That's rough, but you can't really hold it against him. He's a dog, not a person...

 

[Carolina Reaper]

Throw him off the roof and see if he flies.

 

[lacer]

you sure he's not a mix?

 

[Howdyjacker]

That's rough bro.

My jack Russell terrier killed a bird then proceeded to bring it in the house as a gift offering.


That's why I NEVER let my dog lick me anywhere near the mouth area.

Never know what they doing bro

 

[BFIB]

He dined and daschund.

 

[Doober]

That's rough, but you can't really hold it against him. He's a dog, not a person...

Click to shrink...

Yeah, I know, instinct and prey drive and all that. It's probably made worse by the fact that I accidentally ran into these baby birds while watering a hanging fern that they were nesting in. I thought they had begun to fly though so I have no idea how the hell he got one.

 

[Kingpin Rogers]

Dogs; not a bird's best friend.

 

[Irnbru]

My sisters springers eat baby rabbits and moles whole. Must be tasty snacks.

 

[chefbags]

Find a big bird to swallow him whole to teach him a lesson.

Click to shrink...

 

[TheCthultist]

you sure he's not a mix?

Click to shrink...

God that one fucks me up every time I see it.

 

[Jmdajr]

There is dog ice cream?

 

[Fat4all]

yeah dachshunds are hunters

and diggers

 

[Fat4all]

There is dog ice cream?

Click to shrink...

yup, dogs fuckin love it too

 

[Doober]

There is dog ice cream?

Click to shrink...

There is, and I regret hunting any down for him.

 

[lake]

You are what you eat. (Your dog is now a bird.)

 

[Wyman Manderly]

You're judging an animal that does an animal thing?

 

[ElectricBlanketFire]

There is dog ice cream?

Click to shrink...

Yep. Peanut butter flavored.

 

[kamakazi5]

1. He's a dog and 2. he's a dachshund. It sucks but instincts are instincts.

Train him to drop stuff and you can avoid some things like this.

 

[SapientWolf]

The worst part is that he didn't even bother to cover his shame with a napkin.

 

[Fat4all]

i had two generations of dachshunds

they are kinda assholes but they're so cute

they are also overconfident and can easily fuck up their backs

 

[Fat4all]

Yep. Peanut butter flavored.

Click to shrink...

Aldi's sells bacon and cheese flavored dog ice cream now

 

[JigglesBunny]

Dude, metal fuckin' pupper.

 

[Username1198]

I'm horrified and at the same time, hungry.

 

[Buckle]

Its not pretty but its what animals are programmed to do, they eat each other to survive.

Cats and dogs are hunters. My grandmother had a dog that grabbed a bird out of midair as it was flying low and killed it, was the craziest shit I ever saw.

Your pup isn't being malicious, its just the way they are sometimes when instinct gets involved.

 

[Fat4all]

i wanna see the culprit

pics please, OP

 

[Doober]

You're judging an animal that does an animal thing?

Click to shrink...

I was trying to save those birds, dude. I'm a human doing a human thing.

 

[Edward]

yeah dachshunds are hunters

and diggers

Click to shrink...

My Dash is always digging at shit and and it's always funny cause he has little baby feet.

One of my old schnauzers killed a bird once but i can't blame her for it, it's a dog, that bird was trifling so it got fucked up.

 

[nwb]

When's the last time you ate a bird?

 

[ZangBa]

You'll be thankful when they fuck up a snake for you. Love my family dachshunds.

 

[Doober]

i wanna see the culprit

pics please, OP

Click to shrink...

 

[Fat4all]

Click to shrink...

already in custody i see, good good

cute pup

 

[Hollywood Duo]

RIP bird

 

[Buckle]

"You let me out of here and the first thing I'm gonna do is kill again."

 

[lazygecko]

I wouldn't worry. Dachas are pretty big and have plenty of room for a small bird.

 

[andymcc]

one of my shiba inu has killed its fair share of animals. he's only got one bird though. that's what they do.

 

[InspectaDekka]

Hate it when this happens.

The one time I got home from work and my house was dimly lit, with a few glowing Pentecostal Stars aligned on the wall with some ancient text whilst my dog floated in the centre of the living room. He would not allow me to watch my episodes of It's Always Sunny until I sacrificed him "local ripe virgins from the harvest". Man...the SHIT I had to go through that day...when I fed the goddamn dog all these chopped up limbs he proclaimed himself to be the reincarnation of a daemonic prince named Bahamutt. It hasn't happened since I fed him but the rotting stench refuses to leave and sometimes I hear whispers in the wind saying "Bahamutt".

He also ate a squirrel the one time too. Blood everywhere. Horrible. Nightmare.

 

[Alligatorjandro]

Damn

 

[Deleted member 17388]

How many years did he get for the crime?

 

[Deleted member 16136]

I saw my brothers dachshund down their other dogs giant poop in 1 gulp. Not sure which is worse.

 

[Lukar]

you sure he's not a mix?

Click to shrink...

Jesus

 

[PlanetSmasher]

i had two generations of dachshunds

they are kinda assholes but they're so cute

they are also overconfident and can easily fuck up their backs

Click to shrink...

Yup. When I was a little kid a dachshund killed itself right in front of me by jumping off a trash can. Broke its damn back. Fucked me up for damn near a month.

 

[Wetwork]

My dog killed an ate an entire bunny at the dog park, and again in our backyard. To the victor goes the spoils. It happens.

She's my goodest girl too