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My ex is now dating my best friend

AlexBasch

AlexBasch

Member
Oct 27, 2017
7,312
When my now girlfriend made a move on me, I had the decency of not being the roommate of her ex.

Also that guy and I had a falling out, so I made the choice of keep dating her and ditch that guy. We have been happy for the last three years and he's now married and has a baby last I heard, so I suppose it worked out just fine for all of us.
 
MazeHaze

MazeHaze

Member
Nov 1, 2017
8,583
If yall dated like, less than 6 months or somethin this is fine. Otherwise, fuck em

Edit: 2 years? Hell no, friendship off, move out
 
nilbog

nilbog

Member
Oct 25, 2017
15,099
Did your best friend even talk to you about this?

Especially considering the roommate scenario.

I mean cause if not it's time to bail my friend.
 
Fulminator

Fulminator

Member
Oct 25, 2017
14,202
I think it's fine to date an ex of your friend

Provided you have a conversation about it with your friend beforehand and see how they feel about it and make sure everything is on the up and up

absolute total dick move of your friend to just do it without talking to you
 
nilbog

nilbog

Member
Oct 25, 2017
15,099
mattiewheels said:
It's been 2 years, and it ended very mutually as us realizing we're better suited as friends.

I can be objective about this and see that she should be free to do this with him. But yeah, like a lot of people in here have asked I definitely got no advance warning.
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And I assume your lady "friend" did not give you a heads up either. Both are being dicks.

I'd snag his black book and call up one of his exes. How does he like it?
 
Saturday

Saturday

One Winged Slayer
The Fallen
Oct 27, 2017
6,399
mattiewheels said:
It's been 2 years, and it ended very mutually as us realizing we're better suited as friends.

I can be objective about this and see that she should be free to do this with him. But yeah, like a lot of people in here have asked I definitely got no advance warning.
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No advance warning: fuckin' wild. If you brought this point up to your ex and she wouldn' t think this is a major dick move as well this would speak to her character too
 

Deleted member 8683

User requested account closure
The Fallen
Oct 26, 2017
168
mattiewheels said:
It's been 2 years, and it ended very mutually as us realizing we're better suited as friends.

I can be objective about this and see that she should be free to do this with him. But yeah, like a lot of people in here have asked I definitely got no advance warning.
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Did you define that friends would be off limits for you both at the end, or is this just an unfortunate backlash? If you take a step back and remind yourself that she isn't the one for you, will you be okay with her seeing someone else, even if it's someone otherwise close to you?
 
RedBlue

RedBlue

Member
Oct 27, 2017
3,359
Queens, NY
Saturday said:
No advance warning: fuckin' wild. If you brought this point up to your ex and she wouldn' t think this is a major dick move as well this would speak to her character too
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I'm just assuming this they both don't care and this might've been in the works prior to the break up. OP, you say this is your best friend/roommate, but how did you and this best friend come to be friends?
 
greenbird

greenbird

Teyvat Traveler
Member
Oct 25, 2017
3,094
How reliant are you on this housing arrangement? Probably best to move on from the whole roommates thing unless you don't mind hearing them fuck while you're around.
 
Jarate

Jarate

Banned
Oct 25, 2017
4,614
Bro Code dictates that they have to ask or wait at least a year before dating. You have proper reason to cut off said broship, but honestly, it's their lives, let them be happy. You're not in a relationship with her anymore. But I can understand why you would be upset, it's fine to be upset, but does being upset really do anything?
 
OP
OP
mattiewheels

mattiewheels

Member
Oct 27, 2017
5,107
Radberg said:
Did you define that friends would be off limits for you both at the end, or is this just an unfortunate backlash? If you take a step back and remind yourself that she isn't the one for you, will you be okay with her seeing someone else, even if it's someone otherwise close to you?
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I think my exact words to her when she broke this to me were: "Anybody in the world except my friend who lives with me and I'd be fine". Lol.
 

Deleted member 8683

User requested account closure
The Fallen
Oct 26, 2017
168
mattiewheels said:
One thing I find interesting about the responses, and with my own thoughts on the whole thing, is that it seems to be more about my friend being a dick. Like, I'm questioning the fact that I seem to have

I think my exact words to her when she broke this to me were: "Anybody in the world except my friend who lives with me and I'd be fine". Lol.
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Oh damn, that's disrespectful... Especially since it's only been a month. Makes it definitely look like she's the dick here.
 

Deleted member 11413

User requested account closure
Banned
Oct 27, 2017
22,961
mattiewheels said:
It's been 2 years, and it ended very mutually as us realizing we're better suited as friends.

I can be objective about this and see that she should be free to do this with him. But yeah, like a lot of people in here have asked I definitely got no advance warning.
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Them dating is not inherently 'wrong': they are both adults, you don't own either of them and they can do what they want. That said, the fact that you were together for 2 years, he's your best friend, and you live together...yeah, that's shitty because both of them should've had the common decency to give you a heads up. They certainly didn't consider your feelings.
 
Bricktop

Bricktop

Attempted to circumvent ban with an alt account
Banned
Oct 27, 2017
2,847
Radberg said:
At face value, they're two human beings who like each other. Fuck off, it doesn't matter that you dated one of them before.

But, since you were good ("best") friends with the guy who is now dating your ex; you need to decide if you're fine with that or if you need to get away from both of them.
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Nah, at face value this is bullshit. He dated this girl for 2 years and a month after they breakup she is magically already dating his best friend and roommate? And with no warning?

These are shit people.
 
Netherscourge

Netherscourge

Member
Oct 25, 2017
18,932
It sounds almost like they are doing this out of spite, to hurt you.

He ain't no friend, that's for sure.

I wonder if their plan is to make you move out so she can move in?
 
hjort

hjort

Member
Nov 9, 2017
4,096
mattiewheels said:
I think my exact words to her when she broke this to me were: "Anybody in the world except my friend who lives with me and I'd be fine". Lol.
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So they know how you feel about it now. And now you know that they don't deserve any more of your time. Kick those fuckers out of your life. Also the apartment, if possible.
 
Cordy

Cordy

Member
Oct 25, 2017
15,351
2 years is wild, yeah they did you dirty. That's not right at all.

Move out. I'm not saying "cut off contact for life" from them but you need distance, you need to heal and they need to apologize. Down the line when they've grown up some to realize they shouldn't have done this to someone they care about, then you can speak again. That's just nasty and not what you do to real friends.

Sorry OP, that sucks. Shoutout to you for being as strong as you are to post about it to us.
 
RPGam3r

RPGam3r

Member
Oct 27, 2017
13,519
I wouldn't trust either of them since they didn't warn you, and with that said I don't think their relationship just started. Don't be naive, what you thought was "mutual" was most likely nothing of the sort.
 
Brinbe

Brinbe

Avenger
Oct 25, 2017
58,367
Terana
I was in a semi-similar position and I'm not in contact with either of them anymore. As much as wish you could be the bigger person and not care, it still really fucking sucks. Quadruply so because vause you actually live with this dude. I would move out immediately and forget about them. You deserve better.

Best of luck!
 

sharkkiee

Member
Aug 6, 2018
147
He was probably as Frank from Sunny would say putting many "raw dog loads" in here while you were both still together....
 
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