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My ex is now dating my best friend
- Thread starter mattiewheels
- Start date
OP
OP
I really still don't know how to react to this out of pure shock. I'm just staying elsewhere for a couple days to figure that out, but what's been weirding me out when I think about all this is that I seem to have separate reactions to the two when I feel like it should be the same reaction to both of them. I dunno, the problem with the best friend is that we weren't super close the past couple years because I lived in another state, but I moved back this year and thought it would be cool to have him as my roomie. But we've been pretty distant with each other the whole time I've been here, and this event is making it feel like there's no coming back from it. My girl moved in with us a few months ago and they became close, way closer than me and him have been in a long time, ha.
Just too fucking awkward a situation to process at the moment.
Just too fucking awkward a situation to process at the moment.
This is pretty much the only intelligent thing anyone said in this thread...
Don't go for dumb suggestions and negative feelings, OP. They won't take you anywhere.
I wouldn't get my hopes high about the threesome, though. LOL.
But if you're not confortable about it, maybe just leave and move on. Live your life.
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Take the L and move on.
Fuck any arbitrary bro code. It's not like this girl is a piece of furniture that your friend need to ask you for permission to use.
Fuck any arbitrary bro code. It's not like this girl is a piece of furniture that your friend need to ask you for permission to use.
They def been fucking behind your back haha
That dude ain't your best friend anymore. Forget about it and find a place of your own, if you can.
Yeah, they've been fucking. Sounds like you and the friend aren't even that close, time to get out of there.
Is it dawning on you just how close they were yet? They''re not just "now dating". Move out, you don't need these kinds of people in your life.
"These are shit people."
Please tell me more about who hurt you.
These aren't "shit people"; it's a "shit situation" for the parties involved. It's something both the OP and the friend+ex are going to get over with time and still be able to function in society.
God damn, that is a shitty move if not given any warning. God, talks would be hilariously awkward if you both got drunk and start talking about your sex life.
lol, I think it's pretty obvious they were hooking up before the breakup, making them both shitty people. Even in a best case scenario, they both completely disregarded OP's feelings.
Are you serious?
How would you feel if you dated someone for a couple of years, broke up, then all of a sudden, your "best friend" decides to stab you in the back to be with your ex without even notifying you about it?
That's just wrong.
Pretty much. If you need space get it or keep it real and tell them it makes you uncomfortable. Other than that take the L
Again, shit situation, not shit people. He found out eventually, didn't he? What if those two are now really happy with each other? Would you deny them that, and what difference would it make other than make yourself miserable?
So, have you done this to someone before? Is that why you are stanning for trash people?
A shit situation would be his ex or best friend/roommate coming to him and explaining they wanted to date. That would be a shit situation.
Shit people are a girl you just broke up with and your best friend/roommate jumping in a relationship before the paint has dried and not giving you the common courtesy of letting you know it's going to happen.
Two completely different things and these people are clearly in the latter camp.
P.S. them being happy means dick. Being happy doesn't make you a good person.
Move out and move on as quickly as you can. Whether they were 'meant to be together' or whatever, it's been only a month since your breakup, they were probably fucking behind your back. They lack human decency as they didn't consider your feelings (especially if it was only a month and it was a 2 year relationship) so cut them out asap. You don't need people like that in your life.
Nah fuck that. They didn't care if they hurt him, they are shitty people.
Nah fuck that. They didn't care if they hurt him, they are shitty people.
Its up to you how you handle that. I've personally never crossed that line but I've had friends who did end up with my exs and it's never bothered me. We split up for a reason afterall. Personally I'd say carry on as normal if you can.
Failing that you need to establish yourself as the alpha male. Start by spreading your scent around his room to mark your territory. Eventually hes gonna suspect you so, when he approaches you about it you have to raise and arch your back and lock eyes with him. If all goes to plan you'll be bucking heads with him for a few minutes before emerging the victor and new pack leader. Beware though any other male will now be gunning for your newly earned position.
Failing that you need to establish yourself as the alpha male. Start by spreading your scent around his room to mark your territory. Eventually hes gonna suspect you so, when he approaches you about it you have to raise and arch your back and lock eyes with him. If all goes to plan you'll be bucking heads with him for a few minutes before emerging the victor and new pack leader. Beware though any other male will now be gunning for your newly earned position.
^this right here OP. approach them about a threesome and then strategically plan the worst possible moment possible to pull out
Highly likely she's only doing it to rub it in your face.
Once had an ex that dated my brother right after... Just tell your friend to have as much fun as he can and don't let it get to you, she'll get mad and dump him probably.
Once had an ex that dated my brother right after... Just tell your friend to have as much fun as he can and don't let it get to you, she'll get mad and dump him probably.
Not done it, and haven't had it done to me.
But what would I benefit from knowing about it before the fact?
Damn, them being happy doesn't necessarily make them bad people either though?
Being happy at someone else's expense is kinda shitty, especially when it's easily avoidable.
Fuck this ownership bullshit. I would never date someone after they spent two years fostering a deep emotional+romantic connection with a close friend. And if I ever did, that close friend would be more than justified if they were mad
OP, if your best fucking friend and ex are dating and banging just one month after your breakup there definitely was something going on before it. Your friend is the one who really betrayed you though. You should never have an expectation that an ex will continue to take your feelings into account after you've ended the relationship. But a friendship is a relationship, and your friend's an ass.
OP
OP
Ha. That's damn good.
But I haven't even seen or spoken to him since my ex told me, and I'm cringing inside out just thinking about how awkward that first encounter will be. This is the thing, I just can't see interacting with these guys in a normal way anymore and moving out is probably the only option. I'm trying to figure out how to make this work, but what do they want from me, y'know?
I disagree. If they were doing it before the breakup then she was cheating on him. They are both shitty.
It's pretty suspect. They also shows a complete lack of empathy. They're not fucking idiots I assume; so they know how their actions reverberate particularly to those close. So not even a heads up and only a month, a blink in the eye considering a multi-year relationship?
Yeah, true love and it only concerns them blah blah blah. We're human beings and our relationships among and between us are more complex than subject A and subject B. They sound like pieces of shit and OP needs to move out as far as possible because this reeks of intentional toxicity.
EIther that or they were flirting and talking to the point that led her to leave OP.
I have a friend who ended up leaving her boyfriend for a mutual roommate. They didn't fuck or anything before that but she basically realized she was feeling for this other dude as she wasn't feeling less about her ex.
Yeah end of the day, get out of there. Leave both of them in the dust.
They don't want anything, apparently. They don't care about you or your feelings. It's just not gonna work.
Wish them the best of luck in their relationship and excise them. Life's too short to waste on something that will always bother you even if you tried to be the bigger person and continue on as normal.
How can you even move on with them both there in your living space? Impossible.
It's not even really the act. If they were upfront and considerate of your feelings it'd be less shitty and you may even be supportive of it.
But they didn't even give you that courtesy. You deserve a better best friend and better partner. It's for the best for everyone to move on. No shame in that.
I would find a new place and move on from this friendship. He doesn't care about you at all and has shown it with this move.
Just saw this. For sure they were fucking during that time period. Now I can say for sure he isn't a friend and I wouldn't trust him if I was you.
Yeah sounds like you need to move on. Shit sucks but it sounds like you and your friend we're already having a bit of a falling out, so might as well just move on. Not being able to talk about it also shows where his priorities lie in regards to your friendship.
It sucks ass but don't be bitter. It is what it is and let this occupy as little space in your head as poasible. Wish you well on your road ahead.
It sucks ass but don't be bitter. It is what it is and let this occupy as little space in your head as poasible. Wish you well on your road ahead.