Hi Era.
My friend and I have been chatting on Facebook a lot recently, mostly about trivial stuff like his favourite football game and TV shows but every once in a while he'll open up and talk about his real life troubles.
For a bit of backstory, I met this friend about four years ago when I started university studying game development. We took the Story/Game Design course and without any classes on coding, we were pretty doomed from the start but while I accepted that the industry was never going to be for me, my friend attempted to self teach himself coding specifically C++ but ended up giving up after numerous failed attempts to understand the fundamentals. Unfortunately, ever since we graduated, he's been upset because he thinks our university failed him by not warning him that a job in the industry will require knowledge on the technical side of development and not preparing him for finding a job in the real world. He lives at home with his parents whom he despises and hasn't done anything with his life in the year since we graduated.
We had a scare last year around Halloween time when he spoke to me about the possibility of suicide but I managed to talk him down from it and it turned out he was wasted at the time and didn't mean much of what he said anyway. Since then, things have been pretty light outside of the sporadic discussions about how bad his personal life has become. Apparently, he never leaves the house anymore and has no friends who he interacts with in real life. Then a funny thing happens - this past week, things seem to be turning around for him. He mentions that someone from a small games studio had gotten in contact with him to talk about needing an assistant technical director. He seems happy but mentions that he hasn't had practice with game engines in months and needs to get up to scratch. On top of that, yesterday he tells me that he even managed to get out of the house and enjoy a game of snooker with two complete strangers at a local pub. Between these two events, it honestly looked like he was turning over a new leaf and I was happy for him.
And then we come to this morning. I wake up and check my feed to see my friend finish our discussion on the rules of snooker when he drops a bombshell - he plans to kill himself today and end the pain once and for all. No other information given and he's been offline so I can't ask for clarification. I ended up writing a mini essay practically begging him to reconsider and talk to me but I'm such a state of panic that I needed to hear some advice from you guys here at Era.
For some additional info, we live in England and he specifically lives in a really terrible area of London with his parents which he hates with all his fibre of being. I've talked extensively in the past about him contacting the suicide hotline or talking to a therapist which he refuses to do, believing they don't really want to help him and that he'll be put on pills that make him into a vegetable. So when it comes to external help, I can't see him taking it. As I mentioned, he loathes his parents and I don't think they even know about his depression which leaves the only options as me and some of his other online friends who I know nothing about. I'd love to meet him in person and have a fun time catching up as well as giving him in person advice and all that but he doesn't really seem interested in anything like that. I have no idea where exactly he lives and if he comes online again, I'll ask him but I fear he'll refuse to tell me and 'wouldn't want me getting caught up in his personal problems anyway.'
It's breaking me up thinking that another human being's life is effectively in my hands which is why this post might come across as being hastily put together but I feel like I've exhausted all my options. Is there anything more I can do?
My friend and I have been chatting on Facebook a lot recently, mostly about trivial stuff like his favourite football game and TV shows but every once in a while he'll open up and talk about his real life troubles.
For a bit of backstory, I met this friend about four years ago when I started university studying game development. We took the Story/Game Design course and without any classes on coding, we were pretty doomed from the start but while I accepted that the industry was never going to be for me, my friend attempted to self teach himself coding specifically C++ but ended up giving up after numerous failed attempts to understand the fundamentals. Unfortunately, ever since we graduated, he's been upset because he thinks our university failed him by not warning him that a job in the industry will require knowledge on the technical side of development and not preparing him for finding a job in the real world. He lives at home with his parents whom he despises and hasn't done anything with his life in the year since we graduated.
We had a scare last year around Halloween time when he spoke to me about the possibility of suicide but I managed to talk him down from it and it turned out he was wasted at the time and didn't mean much of what he said anyway. Since then, things have been pretty light outside of the sporadic discussions about how bad his personal life has become. Apparently, he never leaves the house anymore and has no friends who he interacts with in real life. Then a funny thing happens - this past week, things seem to be turning around for him. He mentions that someone from a small games studio had gotten in contact with him to talk about needing an assistant technical director. He seems happy but mentions that he hasn't had practice with game engines in months and needs to get up to scratch. On top of that, yesterday he tells me that he even managed to get out of the house and enjoy a game of snooker with two complete strangers at a local pub. Between these two events, it honestly looked like he was turning over a new leaf and I was happy for him.
And then we come to this morning. I wake up and check my feed to see my friend finish our discussion on the rules of snooker when he drops a bombshell - he plans to kill himself today and end the pain once and for all. No other information given and he's been offline so I can't ask for clarification. I ended up writing a mini essay practically begging him to reconsider and talk to me but I'm such a state of panic that I needed to hear some advice from you guys here at Era.
For some additional info, we live in England and he specifically lives in a really terrible area of London with his parents which he hates with all his fibre of being. I've talked extensively in the past about him contacting the suicide hotline or talking to a therapist which he refuses to do, believing they don't really want to help him and that he'll be put on pills that make him into a vegetable. So when it comes to external help, I can't see him taking it. As I mentioned, he loathes his parents and I don't think they even know about his depression which leaves the only options as me and some of his other online friends who I know nothing about. I'd love to meet him in person and have a fun time catching up as well as giving him in person advice and all that but he doesn't really seem interested in anything like that. I have no idea where exactly he lives and if he comes online again, I'll ask him but I fear he'll refuse to tell me and 'wouldn't want me getting caught up in his personal problems anyway.'
It's breaking me up thinking that another human being's life is effectively in my hands which is why this post might come across as being hastily put together but I feel like I've exhausted all my options. Is there anything more I can do?
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