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Tapiozona

Avenger
Oct 28, 2017
2,253
UPDATE: As promised the newer stories from our vacation rental are on Post# 1090

Inspired by the threading about dealing with being haunted, I wanted to talk about the haunting of my house (and now my second home as well). Short backstory is that I've never really thought much about ghosts and hauntings. I enjoyed the crap out of Ghost hunters when it first came out but over time I felt the show faked most of the things that happened because..well it's TV. I didn't believe or disbelieve in ghosts but my mom was always a firm believer because her mom had an detailed and traumatic experience with one when she was younger. I do know that I was terrified of horror movies as a child (I even slept with my head under the covers, making a small breathing hole, until I was like 12. Also in random conversations about "What would you do if your house was haunted", my answer was a firm, "I'd sell and move immediately. Fuck. That."

Fast forward to buying our current house…

We purchased our current home in 2012 soon after our first son was born. The house was 6 years old and in a neighborhood we'd only dreamed of buying in when it was being developed (million dollar homes, which we ended up buying after the market crashed for a fraction of that). The house we bought was trashed by the previous owners. They didn't take care of it and the amount of filthy and strange things they'd done in the house was overwhelming. My wife loved the house immediately while all I saw was headache and waaaaay too much of my time remodeling plus the costs involved. In the end, she wins because she's my wife and that's the way things work in marriages, at least mine.

Anywho, the previous owners had done some strange things to the house. The master closet had all of the shelves ripped out of it for some reason. There were 2x4's mounted to the ceiling in some rooms which looked like some sort of grid used to hang large objects. The back half of the house had at some point been walled off (back half contains the living room, kitchen, master bedroom, and large playroom). It wasn't walled off professionally..they simply screwed a sheet of plywood over the hallway opening and then screwed a door shut on the other side of the house blocking access. The laundry also room had a kitchen sink and dish washer installed in it. The filth in the house, even being completely empty, was pretty gnarly as well.

Talking to the neighbors, the old owners were odd. They had 3 kids and the mother was convinced all 3 of them had autism but no doctor would agree with her diagnosis. She had taken them to every doctor in Phoenix trying to get the diagnosis she wanted with no luck. Even though they weren't autistic, they were definitely a bit strange.. The direct neighbor (who I'm very close with now) said every morning one of the kids would run up and down the side yard doing a Peter Griffin type laugh..over and over and over and over..every..single..day. It actually makes for a pretty funny story when you imagine a doppler effect of Peter's laugh as he ran up and down the side yard (dog run), which happened to be right next to the master bedroom of the neighbor. The kids would also stare out of one particular window in the upstairs loft which looked directly into the neighbor's house. They wouldn't say anything, only stare, even when waved at by the neighbors who knew them very well, (daughter's played together all the time). Twice, one of the kids, while staring, smeared feces onto the window when my buddy waved at them. I also found out why everything was torn out of the closet… For about a year, the entire family slept in the master closet, on the floor. No idea why, they just did. Apparently, the whole family slept together and would change the room they slept in from time to time. Still haven't figured out why they walled off the back half of the house however.

WP_20130216_019.jpg


WP_20130216_018.jpg


To save money I decided to do a lot of the remodel myself and started with the demo. I would go to the house everyday afterwork + weekends and break things..overall pretty fun but that's when I noticed a few small things. The house is very large and being completely empty there would be loud creeks, banks, and odd sounds while I was doing demolition. It definitely unnerved me, however houses settle, move and being so quiet I was more tuned into hearing any noise. Soon after moving in, while still living in the middle of the remodel we started to notice what I now know is a haunting. Some of the things can probably be explained but some things absolutely cannot and the sheer volume of them has us 100% convinced.

(continued next post)
 
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OP
OP
Tapiozona

Tapiozona

Avenger
Oct 28, 2017
2,253
1. We started the remodel with the downstairs which makes up about 80% of the actual square footage and actual usable space. The only thing upstairs was a small loft, 2 bedrooms, and a bathroom. That upstairs bathroom was completely torn out minus the tub and the faucet for it. One day I got a call from my mother in law who babystat our son during the day saying the upstairs tub faucet was running full blast. First off, it wasn't on when she got there and second we absolutely never use that bathroom tub. I thought maybe it was a small leak but someone/something had completely turned the handle to full blast and it takes physical effort to do so. It's nothing that can accidentally happen.

2. Our son slept upstairs in one of the bedrooms while our bedroom was downstairs on the opposite end of the house. We had a baby monitor at night which would amplify when it heard noises and then go into quiet mode any other time. One night I was getting ready to goto bed and I heard some heavy rustling and my son starting to get fussy, though not yet crying. The monitor went into 'loud' mode and I listened to it very attentively figuring it was only a matter of time before he started to cry..as I listened I heard a loud and VERY distinctly clear "Shhhhhhhhhh" directly directly into the mic. My son instantly got quiet and I ran as fast as I've ever run, my handgun with me thinking someone was in my son's room. When I threw the door open, he was sound asleep and nothing or no one was in the room. After that he slept in our bed for the next month or so.

3. Doors slamming. We do not open the windows a lot, especially living in Arizona and especially in the summer. Early on, doors would slam upstairs on the regular with no draft and our doors are 9 foot and solid wood making them incredibly heavy.

4. Lights turning on and off. This is one I can explain away because it's electrical and our switches are the flat panel type that can get stuck in the middle and eventually flip up or down..at least in theory as I've never seen it happen just assumed it could and explains the lights turning on and off.

5. The Push – A few months after the "Shhhhh" we moved our son back into his room. When he was young he was very difficult to get to sleep so I had to stay near him until he was finally asleep every night. The drawing below shows the layout of the upstairs, his room, my desk, and his crib. Sitting in his room was fairly boring so eventually I moved to my desk just outside of it where I had line of sight between us. One night I had the lights off minus my PC screen and all of a sudden the lights in his room flipped on. I thought maybe he had climbed out of his crib since at this point we was able to do that on occasion. Nope, he was sound asleep. I figured maybe it was an electrical problem and went back to the computer. No more than a few minutes later I felt a hard shove against the back of my chair. I turned immediately thinking that once again, maybe he had climbed from his crib but nothing was there plus the force of the shove was well above anything he could have done. THIS is when I was 100% convinced my house was haunted.

upstairs.jpg


6. As mentioned before, the downstairs of our house has a playroom which is directly across from our master bedroom. On numerous occasions, toys randomly turn on by themselves. This isn't one or two toys but a variety of them. Some which require switches to be turned on and others that require squeezing of particular areas. These have ONLY happened at night while we're sleeping or getting ready to and never during the day when we're out and about in the house.

7. The Touch – My wife and I were watching a movie with me sitting on the couch and her sitting on the floor with her back to the couch right next to me. All of a sudden she turns to look at me and I give her a blank "What?" look.. shes immediately FLIPS out and jumps in the air yelling "That wasn't you? That wasn't you????". Eventually she calmed down and told me she felt a hand pressed against the back of her head and run it's fingers through her hair. When she realized it wasn't me she lost her shit.

8. Footsteps in the attic – Our house has 2 attics, the one above the primary one story of the house and the second, smaller one, above the smaller upstairs. This is by far the most common ghost type thing we experience in the house and it happens so often that we literally never notice it though it does freak the hell out of our guests and my son's friends. It normally happens in the evening and sounds exactly someone is walking through the first floor attic, towards the back of the house, normally directly over the living room. The steps have weight to them and you can follow them as they progress across the room directly above us. I've been in our attic so many times at this point thinking maybe some homeless person has taken residence up there but there's nothing there. Even if it was an animal (it's not), the steps have way too much weight to them. I'd say at it's peak we heard the footsteps 3-4 times a week. Now because we're so acclimated to them I can't even tell anymore except 2 days ago when I got home my wife was staring at the ceiling watching the steps progress across the room above her.

9. The Conversation – One night I woke up and heard a very distinct conversation happening in my son's playroom right across the living room from our master bedroom. I coulnd't make out words but it was loud and definitely coming from our house. It sounded like a deep mans voice having a conversation except I couldn't make out any words..just lots of Hur hum dum ber dum dum..Like a conversation at a party wehre you can clearly hear people talking but can't make out the words. I thought it could be someone outside but the second I got up and left our room it immediately stopped. There's no way it came from outside but I quickly ran out there incase the neighbors were having some sort of gathering. Nope, pure silence and this was also 3 in the morning.

10. Sleep Paralysis – This one scared me the most before I looked up what sleep paralysis was. It's terrifying and I'm 100% convinced there's a ghost or entity holding me down and keeping me from screaming. It NEVER happened in our old house

11. TV being on when we get home. I thoguht it could have been a setting with our TV but this happens on 2 separate ones, one of which we've replaced with a newer model. It hasn't happened lately but at it's peak it would happen once every week or two.

12. The Door Shake – Referring to the upstairs diagram again my wife was in the bathroom (at this point that bathroom was finished and our downstairs one was under construction. She was straightening her hair with my son taking a nap in his room, with the door closed, RIGHT next to the bathroom. The door is literally 5 feet away from where she was standing. All of a sudden the door starts to violently shake and she almost instantly goes to open it thinking my son had climbed out of his crib and was trying to open the door. When she opens it, he was sound asleep. There's also no way he could have shook the door in the manner it was.

[edit - adding one more and this one we saw with our eyes]
13. My living room has shutters which we keep closed for privacy and because at night there's a light directly outside of them that blares into the TV if we keep it open. One night we were watching TV and slowly we could see the light coming in. We both turn and watch as a single louver on the shutter opens UP, against gravity.

I think that covers most of the things which have happened. There's been numerous other small things but we really just ignore them at this point. The weird thing is I have no intention of moving and outside of the "shhhh" scare, we don't feel scared at all. If there is a ghost there he/she doesn't feel menacing and we've just learned to live with it.



We recently purchased a second vacation home and I have a new story to tell about that place but I'll save it for a later post. Thanks for listening to my winded post. Sorry for the typos and grammatical errors.


UPDATE: As Promised, the stories about our new vacation rental in Post #1090
 
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Mesoian

▲ Legend ▲
Member
Oct 28, 2017
26,409
I lived in a haunted house for 4 years. Teh spirits were super nice, opening and shutting doors for you, turning lights on and off for you. It was pretty dope.

I drove by it the other day and found that it had been torn down an replaced with a McMansion. It's too bad.
 

Landy828

Member
Oct 26, 2017
13,390
Clemson, SC
No it's not. No such things exist.

This. No it isn't. There's an explanation for anything people experience in "hauntings".

All of them are just pressure changes, settling, shifting, etc from normal everyday things.

The upstairs door at my parents house will slam shut any time you come close to quickly shutting the downstairs bathroom. It's freaky...but can be re-created at will.
 

Volimar

volunteer forum janitor
Member
Oct 25, 2017
38,288
This. No it isn't. There's an explanation for anything people experience in "hauntings".

All of them are just pressure changes, settling, shifting, etc from normal everyday things.

The upstairs door at my parents house will slam shut any time you come close to quickly shutting the downstairs bathroom. It's freaky...but can be re-created at will.


That'd be pretty fun to mess with people. "Oh shit, you made the spirit angry!"
 

ADee

Banned
Oct 25, 2017
963
Sweden
When you mentioned Sleep Paralysis....

Most of these can be explained by you just waking up while still being in your dream state or just being tired and hearing things (like the talking), do you get enough sleep?
Touch in your wife's hand could be either a bug or something she imagined, since you were watching TV she could've fallen asleep and dreamt that without realizing she'd fallen asleep.

Most of real life ghost stories can be explained by dreams/nearly falling asleep.
Also there can be drafts, even without having any doors or windows open, especially if you live in a warmer climate where it's harder to notice.

I'm not saying there's no ghosts, but most of these can be explained with logic.
Sleep paralysis can also be quite common if you take any pills for depressions, smoke weed or take any hallucinegic pills, which would also explain most of these stuffs.
 
OP
OP
Tapiozona

Tapiozona

Avenger
Oct 28, 2017
2,253
When you mentioned Sleep Paralysis....

Most of these can be explained by you just waking up while still being in your dream state or just being tired and hearing things (like the talking), do you get enough sleep?
Touch in your wife's hand could be either a bug or something she imagined, since you were watching TV she could've fallen asleep and dreamt that without realizing she'd fallen asleep.

Most of real life ghost stories can be explained by dreams/nearly falling asleep.
Also there can be drafts, even without having any doors or windows open, especially if you live in a warmer climate where it's harder to notice.

I'm not saying there's no ghosts, but most of these can be explained with logic.

That's what I told her but she said there's no way it was anything other than a hand. Too big, too distinct and it had the weight of touch to it. Wasn't sleeping either because we were talking just before it
 

Mona

Banned
Oct 30, 2017
26,151
This. No it isn't. There's an explanation for anything people experience in "hauntings"

and even if there wasn't, then the reasonable honest response to them is "i dont know whats causing this"

OP, its unreasonable to assign a cause to something you cannot explain just because you feel like it
 

Skelepuzzle

Member
Apr 17, 2018
6,119
The monitor went into 'loud' mode and I listened to it very attentively figuring it was only a matter of time before he started to cry..as I listened I heard a loud and VERY distinctly clear "Shhhhhhhhhh" directly directly into the mic. My son instantly got quiet and I ran as fast as I've ever run, my handgun with me thinking someone was in my son's room.

Please just... try to not shoot the ghost.

I have sleep paralysis and believed in ghosts when I was younger. After I looked up what sleep paralysis was I completely stopped believing in them. A combination of a moldy basement and getting second hand highs from my parents made me hear a lot of weird shit.
 

Kitokys

Member
Nov 29, 2017
539
Thanks for sharing, OP.

Re-modelling a house is one of those things that always get brought up in haunting stories. You disturbed 'em!
 

Pomerlaw

Erarboreal
Banned
Feb 25, 2018
8,536
10. Sleep Paralysis – This one scared me the most before I looked up what sleep paralysis was. It's terrifying and I'm 100% convinced there's a ghost or entity holding me down and keeping me from screaming. It NEVER happened in our old house

Sleep paralysis is a well known phenomenon and has nothing to do with ghosts. Just your brain playing games on you.
 

ADee

Banned
Oct 25, 2017
963
Sweden
That's what I told her but she said there's no way it was anything other than a hand. Too big, too distinct and it had the weight of touch to it. Wasn't sleeping either because we were talking just before it

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hypnagogia

Like I said, I'm not saying it's not a ghost. But I'm agnostic when it comes to ghosts (or anything for that matter) but for me to believe anything I want to rule out everything logical first.
 
OP
OP
Tapiozona

Tapiozona

Avenger
Oct 28, 2017
2,253
and even if there wasn't, then the reasonable honest response to them is "i dont know whats causing this"

OP, its unreasonable to assign a cause to something you cannot explain just because you feel like it

Did you read the story. I'm skeptical, i really am and I'm more than happy to explain things away to reasonable explanations but the shove, the hand, and the door/handle shake have No explanation, period.
 

Nell

Member
Oct 27, 2017
441
Just put a security camera in the attic for a week. If the footsteps happen as often as you say you will be able to see what is causing the noise.
 

boxter432

The Fallen
Oct 28, 2017
9,219
err..your wife fell instantly in love with a house that was filthy, had half it it barred/walled off, and had stuff ripped out everywhere? did you even tour the house before purchase?
 

Kinggroin

Self-requested ban
Banned
Oct 26, 2017
6,392
Uranus, get it?!? YOUR. ANUS.
This. No it isn't. There's an explanation for anything people experience in "hauntings".

All of them are just pressure changes, settling, shifting, etc from normal everyday things.

The upstairs door at my parents house will slam shut any time you come close to quickly shutting the downstairs bathroom. It's freaky...but can be re-created at will.

Even if it were ghosts, that just means it's explainable, by way of ghosts. Haha.

If it happens, regardless HOW, its something that obviously CAN happen.

In my case, it was none of the things you mentioned. But I'm not saying it's ghosts or goblins either, but definitely haunted.
 

Deleted member 11517

User requested account closure
Banned
Oct 27, 2017
4,260
It's a great written OP for sure.

Problem is it sounds like some kind of movie plot and not believable at all.


Idk, I used to be like that too, but it went away over time.

And since I stopped believing in "ghosts" and being "haunted" weird things -surprisingly- stopped happening.


Btw I live in an old, huge house, mostly alone, with wood floors and everything. Yeah, there are sounds, but all of them explainable, I also have the backdoor and most windows open during the summer, so yes, sometimes wind will push some stuff, like doors or plates, etc.



Yeah, no, OP, your house isn't "haunted".

I think the kids probably were really autistic though. (the laughing thing is typical)
 
OP
OP
Tapiozona

Tapiozona

Avenger
Oct 28, 2017
2,253
err..your wife fell instantly in love with a house that was filthy, had half it it barred/walled off, and had stuff ripped out everywhere? did you even tour the house before purchase?

We definitely looked at it. I'm a pretty handy person and even the filthiest of houses can be made new of you take it down to the studs
 

Landy828

Member
Oct 26, 2017
13,390
Clemson, SC
1. We started the remodel with the downstairs which makes up about 80% of the actual square footage and actual usable space. The only thing upstairs was a small loft, 2 bedrooms, and a bathroom. That upstairs bathroom was completely torn out minus the tub and the faucet for it. One day I got a call from my mother in law who babystat our son during the day saying the upstairs tub faucet was running full blast. First off, it wasn't on when she got there and second we absolutely never use that bathroom tub. I thought maybe it was a small leak but someone/something had completely turned the handle to full blast and it takes physical effort to do so. It's nothing that can accidentally happen.

2. Our son slept upstairs in one of the bedrooms while our bedroom was downstairs on the opposite end of the house. We had a baby monitor at night which would amplify when it heard noises and then go into quiet mode any other time. One night I was getting ready to goto bed and I heard some heavy rustling and my son starting to get fussy, though not yet crying. The monitor went into 'loud' mode and I listened to it very attentively figuring it was only a matter of time before he started to cry..as I listened I heard a loud and VERY distinctly clear "Shhhhhhhhhh" directly directly into the mic. My son instantly got quiet and I ran as fast as I've ever run, my handgun with me thinking someone was in my son's room. When I threw the door open, he was sound asleep and nothing or no one was in the room. After that he slept in our bed for the next month or so.

3. Doors slamming. We do not open the windows a lot, especially living in Arizona and especially in the summer. Early on, doors would slam upstairs on the regular with no draft and our doors are 9 foot and solid wood making them incredibly heavy.

4. Lights turning on and off. This is one I can explain away because it's electrical and our switches are the flat panel type that can get stuck in the middle and eventually flip up or down..at least in theory as I've never seen it happen just assumed it could and explains the lights turning on and off.

5. The Push – A few months after the "Shhhhh" we moved our son back into his room. When he was young he was very difficult to get to sleep so I had to stay near him until he was finally asleep every night. The drawing below shows the layout of the upstairs, his room, my desk, and his crib. Sitting in his room was fairly boring so eventually I moved to my desk just outside of it where I had line of sight between us. One night I had the lights off minus my PC screen and all of a sudden the lights in his room flipped on. I thought maybe he had climbed out of his crib since at this point we was able to do that on occasion. Nope, he was sound asleep. I figured maybe it was an electrical problem and went back to the computer. No more than a few minutes later I felt a hard shove against the back of my chair. I turned immediately thinking that once again, maybe he had climbed from his crib but nothing was there plus the force of the shove was well above anything he could have done. THIS is when I was 100% convinced my house was haunted.

upstairs.jpg


6. As mentioned before, the downstairs of our house has a playroom which is directly across from our master bedroom. On numerous occasions, toys randomly turn on by themselves. This isn't one or two toys but a variety of them. Some which require switches to be turned on and others that require squeezing of particular areas. These have ONLY happened at night while we're sleeping or getting ready to and never during the day when we're out and about in the house.

7. The Touch – My wife and I were watching a movie with me sitting on the couch and her sitting on the floor with her back to the couch right next to me. All of a sudden she turns to look at me and I give her a blank "What?" look.. shes immediately FLIPS out and jumps in the air yelling "That wasn't you? That wasn't you????". Eventually she calmed down and told me she felt a hand pressed against the back of her head and run it's fingers through her hair. When she realized it wasn't me she lost her shit.

8. Footsteps in the attic – Our house has 2 attics, the one above the primary one story of the house and the second, smaller one, above the smaller upstairs. This is by far the most common ghost type thing we experience in the house and it happens so often that we literally never notice it though it does freak the hell out of our guests and my son's friends. It normally happens in the evening and sounds exactly someone is walking through the first floor attic, towards the back of the house, normally directly over the living room. The steps have weight to them and you can follow them as they progress across the room directly above us. I've been in our attic so many times at this point thinking maybe some homeless person has taken residence up there but there's nothing there. Even if it was an animal (it's not), the steps have way too much weight to them. I'd say at it's peak we heard the footsteps 3-4 times a week. Now because we're so acclimated to them I can't even tell anymore except 2 days ago when I got home my wife was staring at the ceiling watching the steps progress across the room above her.

9. The Conversation – One night I woke up and heard a very distinct conversation happening in my son's playroom right across the living room from our master bedroom. I coulnd't make out words but it was loud and definitely coming from our house. It sounded like a deep mans voice having a conversation except I couldn't make out any words..just lots of Hur hum dum ber dum dum..Like a conversation at a party wehre you can clearly hear people talking but can't make out the words. I thought it could be someone outside but the second I got up and left our room it immediately stopped. There's no way it came from outside but I quickly ran out there incase the neighbors were having some sort of gathering. Nope, pure silence and this was also 3 in the morning.

10. Sleep Paralysis – This one scared me the most before I looked up what sleep paralysis was. It's terrifying and I'm 100% convinced there's a ghost or entity holding me down and keeping me from screaming. It NEVER happened in our old house

11. TV being on when we get home. I thoguht it could have been a setting with our TV but this happens on 2 separate ones, one of which we've replaced with a newer model. It hasn't happened lately but at it's peak it would happen once every week or two.

12. The Door Shake – Referring to the upstairs diagram again my wife was in the bathroom (at this point that bathroom was finished and our downstairs one was under construction. She was straightening her hair with my son taking a nap in his room, with the door closed, RIGHT next to the bathroom. The door is literally 5 feet away from where she was standing. All of a sudden the door starts to violently shake and she almost instantly goes to open it thinking my son had climbed out of his crib and was trying to open the door. When she opens it, he was sound asleep. There's also no way he could have shook the door in the manner it was.

I think that covers most of the things which have happened. There's been numerous other small things but we really just ignore them at this point. The weird thing is I have no intention of moving and outside of the "shhhh" scare, we don't feel scared at all. If there is a ghost there he/she doesn't feel menacing and we've just learned to live with it.



We recently purchased a second vacation home and I have a new story to tell about that place but I'll save it for a later post. Thanks for listening to my winded post. Sorry for the typos and grammatical errors.

1. Someone turned it on and forgot about it.

2. Radio interference/cross-over. Happens on my speakers at work all the time. Can be creepy.

3. Pressure changes, especially upstairs in a house, can move heavy doors. Happens at my parents house..can re-create it.

4. Possible if a switch isn't flipped all the way.

5. As simple as you not completely paying attention, or being tired, or being distracted and losing your balance. Could be a shift in your weight or a reaction to the flooring not being fully level. Lots of possibilities ;).

6. Not unusual for toys to go off. Sometimes they're stacked and move/fall and activate, batteries going bad, circuit boards, etc...can cause them to sound off. Vibrations can cause it too. It's possible trains, heavy trucks, small earthquakes, construction, etc...could set them off.

7. Could have been her simply thinking about it and her body reacting accordingly. You may have just done it earlier and the sensation was still there (this happens). Most likely her subconscious. Also could have been tired/in and out and imagined it.

8. Tons of possibilities here. Everything from a homeless person, to settling, to a large animal like a raccoon. It's not a ghost. Can I suggest putting security cameras up? I think you should if it's obviously heavy walking.

9. Possible Radio interference. Possible trespassers. Possible random people just talking nearby. Again, I recommend security cameras.

10. Sleep Paralysis happens...as do nightmares. If you're prone to these, you could be prone to nodding off and "experiencing" other things you've listed and "coming too" not realizing you momentarily slept/dreamed.

11. TV's being turned on by rogue remotes/signals isn't far fetched. It happens.

12. See my comment above...It's possible trains, heavy trucks, small earthquakes, construction, etc, caused this.


Seriously, I really do recommend trying a cheap 1080p surveillance setup. Just get one, put up 4 cameras in the most important places that concern you. Can be done for $250, or less sometimes. You should get some answers...and some/all of it may stop.


Edit** OH! I forgot a big one for causing creepy stuff...derp. Sewer and water lines. Those cause a ton of sounds...and vibrations. They could be the culuprit for a number of things you've experienced. From vibrations to sounds that sort of sound like a voice. Even the footsteps if the piping isn't well secured and slowly shifts across an area.
 
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Waddle Dee

Banned
Nov 2, 2017
3,725
California
One night I felt something stroking my dick and I got really scared thinking it was a horny ghost but it turns out it was just me who was horny.
 
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