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My kids (5 & 3) keep calling me & my wife by our first names. Thoughts?

May 29, 2018
1,415
Near London UK
#1
Literally what it says in the title. It feels odd that they should call me my first name, but at the same time, it IS my name. Should I encourage them to call me dad? Or should I just roll with it? I wonder why culturally we lean on these pseudonyms so much. They hear me and my wife call each other our first names, so why would I insist they call me by a title, even if it is meant to be affectionate? Nobody in our family has ever called Aunts and Uncles those titles, just their names. I dont know. Being called my first name by my kid for some reason sounds jarring, though I find no logical reason to care.

Thoughts?
 
Oct 27, 2017
1,142
#9
My 7 and 3 year old know mine and my wife’s first name but they call us mom and dad. Your kids should know your first name in case of an emergency though.
 
Oct 25, 2017
8,513
#12
If you want to be called Dad, let them know and use it as a teaching moment for them to understand the importance of respecting people's wishes.

If you're cool with it, let it be and let them know to make sure to call people outside the family by their proper titles.
 
Oct 27, 2017
33
#18
My aunt and uncle kids do this. Works for them I guess. It's funny you mention this because I joked and called my mom by her first name the other day and she gave me a disgusting look, haha. In my 30 years it still feels strange for me to say my moms name out loud.
 
Jul 18, 2018
976
#21
Oh man that reminds me how long it took to understand my dad's name because our last name is his first. So it got very confusing during school etc. They thought I had a second father etc hahaha
 
Oct 26, 2017
2,913
#22
My friends kids did this for awhile. They taught them their names pretty young, and the oldest thought it was hilarious to call her dad by name, calling him "Brad-Daddy" and laughing hysterically. It was adorable, but she got over it and just calls him 'dad' or 'daddy' now.

I might want to clarify to them at some point 'most people call their parents mom and dad' or something for social reasons, but I think its pretty harmless really.
 
Mar 9, 2018
408
#25
I think the most sensible solution to this problem would be legally changing your first names to mom and dad respectively.
 
Oct 31, 2017
1,396
#30
I used to do that.

I think it's because, like you mentioned, I would always hear my parents refer to each other by their first names.

At some point I stopped doing it, and I never got a talk like "you should call me mom/dad", so they'll prolly just learn to call you dad or whatever at some point as well.

EDIT: Actually I think I stopped doing it around the time I started going to school/making friends. I think hearing peers refer to their parents as mom/dad was what changed it.

I wouldn't worry about it tbh.
 
Last edited:

Felt

The Fallen
Oct 27, 2017
2,524
#32
Yeah I mean you should let them have it because it's your fault. Older generation of parents called each other with Mom and Dad when referring to the wife or husband. "No Billy you can't talk to Mommy like that" but since you use first names that's what they learned; it's not a sign of disrespect but they may come to see it that way when they realize their friends say mom and dad
 
Oct 25, 2017
7,153
#34
My kids know me and my wife's name, but I didn't tolerate it for a second when the younger one (5) tried to call me by my name versus Dad or Daddy. It sounds mean, but we aren't friends, we aren't peers. If they want to call me by my name when they are adults, that's absolutely okay... but as a kid? Nah. There needs to be that kind of level of separation.
 
Oct 25, 2017
21,459
#35
I think this is actually something you may want to modify because it's going to be awkward if they do it to say, a teacher.
 
Oct 27, 2017
7,202
#36
I hardly ever use my wifes first name. Never thought about it until now. Sweetie, Baby, Beautiful, Sexy etc..

As for the OP? Who cares. Let the kids be. They could call you worse. LOL!
 
OP
OP
God_Of_Phwoar
May 29, 2018
1,415
Near London UK
#37
My 7 and 3 year old know mine and my wife’s first name but they call us mom and dad. Your kids should know your first name in case of an emergency though.
Oh, sure, the 5 year old can recite our full names, address & postcode, and we're working on phone numbers.
If you want to be called Dad, let them know and use it as a teaching moment for them to understand the importance of respecting people's wishes.

If you're cool with it, let it be and let them know to make sure to call people outside the family by their proper titles.
Not sure how I feel about it, hence the thread :)
Well, do you call your children by their names or do they get titles?
Does "You little shit" count? (joke)
You don’t use terms of endearment with your wife? That’s probably why your kids don’t either.
Of course I do. Never suggested I don't. This is the reason the 3 year old has taken to calling other kids "Sweetheart"
Only you can answer that question OP. Are you okay with it? What would you prefer?
Not sure, that's why I was musing the issue in a thread.
I think the most sensible solution to this problem would be legally changing your first names to mom and dad respectively.
I'm not changing my name unless I can be Lord High Priest Hip Hop SnazzyTrousers.
 
Oct 25, 2017
6,969
#39
Ask them not to do it if it bothers you or it seems disrespectful, I guess.

Young children calling their parents by their first names does sound kind of creepy though. Like they're possessed or have been replaced by pod people.

I'm a grown-ass man, and I don't call my parents by their first names.
 
Oct 25, 2017
372
#42
Let them. It's just a phase. Many kids do that. My son did it for a while a year or so ago. They'll go back eventually. If you want to expedite the process, just tell them to please call you mommy and daddy but know they probably won't right away. It's really nothing to worry about.
 
OP
OP
God_Of_Phwoar
May 29, 2018
1,415
Near London UK
#43
My kids know me and my wife's name, but I didn't tolerate it for a second when the younger one (5) tried to call me by my name versus Dad or Daddy. It sounds mean, but we aren't friends, we aren't peers. If they want to call me by my name when they are adults, that's absolutely okay... but as a kid? Nah. There needs to be that kind of level of separation.
See, I'm not sure if I agree with this for me personally. I completely understand and respect where you're coming from, though. There are definitely reasons why you are right to see it this way.
 
Oct 27, 2017
14,021
#45
Just tell them to call you Dad. Logically there should be no reason for you to care, it makes no sense. Yet, you know full well you'd prefer to be called Dad by your children because...well you're their Dad. Do you want them growing up their whole like referring to you by your first name as if you're some peer or stranger? Come on, you know you would just prefer they call you "Dad" and their Mother, "Mom." No need to feel weird about it.
 
Oct 25, 2017
7,153
#47
See, I'm not sure if I agree with this for me personally. I completely understand and respect where you're coming from, though. There are definitely reasons why you are right to see it this way.
No worries, I can totally understand the other way around. I don't judge anyone that does it this way. As long as your kids are treated well and with respect and grow up in a loving home that is most important. Sorry if it came off any other way than that.
 
Dec 1, 2017
2,415
The Land
#50
I knew a girl in high school that addressed her parents by their first names. It shocked me a little, and sure enough she treated them like she was a roommate paying rent there.