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My kids (5 & 3) keep calling me & my wife by our first names. Thoughts?

Deleted member 44129

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May 29, 2018
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Literally what it says in the title. It feels odd that they should call me my first name, but at the same time, it IS my name. Should I encourage them to call me dad? Or should I just roll with it? I wonder why culturally we lean on these pseudonyms so much. They hear me and my wife call each other our first names, so why would I insist they call me by a title, even if it is meant to be affectionate? Nobody in our family has ever called Aunts and Uncles those titles, just their names. I dont know. Being called my first name by my kid for some reason sounds jarring, though I find no logical reason to care.

Thoughts?
 
JABEE

JABEE

Member
Oct 25, 2017
9,848
When you talk to your kids do you refer to your wife as Mom and vice versa?
 
CarpeDeezNutz

CarpeDeezNutz

Avenger
Oct 27, 2017
2,732
My 7 and 3 year old know mine and my wife's first name but they call us mom and dad. Your kids should know your first name in case of an emergency though.
 
sphagnum

sphagnum

Banned
Oct 25, 2017
16,058
If you want to be called Dad, let them know and use it as a teaching moment for them to understand the importance of respecting people's wishes.

If you're cool with it, let it be and let them know to make sure to call people outside the family by their proper titles.
 
Eskiboy

Eskiboy

Member
Oct 27, 2017
158
Birmingham
My aunt and uncle kids do this. Works for them I guess. It's funny you mention this because I joked and called my mom by her first name the other day and she gave me a disgusting look, haha. In my 30 years it still feels strange for me to say my moms name out loud.
 
StrangerDanger

StrangerDanger

Member
Jul 18, 2018
5,849
Oh man that reminds me how long it took to understand my dad's name because our last name is his first. So it got very confusing during school etc. They thought I had a second father etc hahaha
 

Deleted member 8468

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Oct 26, 2017
9,109
My friends kids did this for awhile. They taught them their names pretty young, and the oldest thought it was hilarious to call her dad by name, calling him "Brad-Daddy" and laughing hysterically. It was adorable, but she got over it and just calls him 'dad' or 'daddy' now.

I might want to clarify to them at some point 'most people call their parents mom and dad' or something for social reasons, but I think its pretty harmless really.
 

peppersky

Banned
Mar 9, 2018
1,174
I think the most sensible solution to this problem would be legally changing your first names to mom and dad respectively.
 
Edge

Edge

A King's Landing
Banned
Oct 25, 2017
21,012
Celle, Germany
Well, then, educate them in calling you Mom and Dad?

Would be very weird for me if they call me by my name, to be honest.
 
TickleMeElbow

TickleMeElbow

Member
Oct 31, 2017
2,668
I used to do that.

I think it's because, like you mentioned, I would always hear my parents refer to each other by their first names.

At some point I stopped doing it, and I never got a talk like "you should call me mom/dad", so they'll prolly just learn to call you dad or whatever at some point as well.

EDIT: Actually I think I stopped doing it around the time I started going to school/making friends. I think hearing peers refer to their parents as mom/dad was what changed it.

I wouldn't worry about it tbh.
 
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Felt

Felt

The Fallen
Oct 27, 2017
3,210
Yeah I mean you should let them have it because it's your fault. Older generation of parents called each other with Mom and Dad when referring to the wife or husband. "No Billy you can't talk to Mommy like that" but since you use first names that's what they learned; it's not a sign of disrespect but they may come to see it that way when they realize their friends say mom and dad
 
Inugami

Inugami

Member
Oct 25, 2017
14,995
My kids know me and my wife's name, but I didn't tolerate it for a second when the younger one (5) tried to call me by my name versus Dad or Daddy. It sounds mean, but we aren't friends, we aren't peers. If they want to call me by my name when they are adults, that's absolutely okay... but as a kid? Nah. There needs to be that kind of level of separation.
 
Kirblar

Kirblar

Banned
Oct 25, 2017
30,744
I think this is actually something you may want to modify because it's going to be awkward if they do it to say, a teacher.
 
THEVOID

THEVOID

Prophet of Regret
Member
Oct 27, 2017
22,830
I hardly ever use my wifes first name. Never thought about it until now. Sweetie, Baby, Beautiful, Sexy etc..

As for the OP? Who cares. Let the kids be. They could call you worse. LOL!
 
OP
OP

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CarpeDeezNutz said:
My 7 and 3 year old know mine and my wife's first name but they call us mom and dad. Your kids should know your first name in case of an emergency though.
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Oh, sure, the 5 year old can recite our full names, address & postcode, and we're working on phone numbers.
sphagnum said:
If you want to be called Dad, let them know and use it as a teaching moment for them to understand the importance of respecting people's wishes.

If you're cool with it, let it be and let them know to make sure to call people outside the family by their proper titles.
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Not sure how I feel about it, hence the thread :)
Raww Le Klueze said:
Well, do you call your children by their names or do they get titles?
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Does "You little shit" count? (joke)
Doctoglethorpe said:
You don't use terms of endearment with your wife? That's probably why your kids don't either.
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Of course I do. Never suggested I don't. This is the reason the 3 year old has taken to calling other kids "Sweetheart"
Acquiesc3 said:
Only you can answer that question OP. Are you okay with it? What would you prefer?
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Not sure, that's why I was musing the issue in a thread.
peppersky said:
I think the most sensible solution to this problem would be legally changing your first names to mom and dad respectively.
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I'm not changing my name unless I can be Lord High Priest Hip Hop SnazzyTrousers.
 
Dream Machine

Dream Machine

Member
Oct 25, 2017
13,085
Ask them not to do it if it bothers you or it seems disrespectful, I guess.

Young children calling their parents by their first names does sound kind of creepy though. Like they're possessed or have been replaced by pod people.

I'm a grown-ass man, and I don't call my parents by their first names.
 

Acquiesc3

Member
Oct 30, 2017
1,724
If you're not sure and you don't have a clear preference at the moment, just let them carry on then.
 
Jive Turkey

Jive Turkey

Member
Oct 25, 2017
2,139
Let them. It's just a phase. Many kids do that. My son did it for a while a year or so ago. They'll go back eventually. If you want to expedite the process, just tell them to please call you mommy and daddy but know they probably won't right away. It's really nothing to worry about.
 
OP
OP

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KojiKnight said:
My kids know me and my wife's name, but I didn't tolerate it for a second when the younger one (5) tried to call me by my name versus Dad or Daddy. It sounds mean, but we aren't friends, we aren't peers. If they want to call me by my name when they are adults, that's absolutely okay... but as a kid? Nah. There needs to be that kind of level of separation.
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See, I'm not sure if I agree with this for me personally. I completely understand and respect where you're coming from, though. There are definitely reasons why you are right to see it this way.
 
BossAttack

BossAttack

Member
Oct 27, 2017
42,927
Just tell them to call you Dad. Logically there should be no reason for you to care, it makes no sense. Yet, you know full well you'd prefer to be called Dad by your children because...well you're their Dad. Do you want them growing up their whole like referring to you by your first name as if you're some peer or stranger? Come on, you know you would just prefer they call you "Dad" and their Mother, "Mom." No need to feel weird about it.
 
Xx 720

Xx 720

Member
Nov 3, 2017
3,920
The whole world can call you by your first name, only 2 people on earth can call u Dad, keep it special.
 
Inugami

Inugami

Member
Oct 25, 2017
14,995
God_Of_Phwoar said:
See, I'm not sure if I agree with this for me personally. I completely understand and respect where you're coming from, though. There are definitely reasons why you are right to see it this way.
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No worries, I can totally understand the other way around. I don't judge anyone that does it this way. As long as your kids are treated well and with respect and grow up in a loving home that is most important. Sorry if it came off any other way than that.
 
Wolfgunblood

Wolfgunblood

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Dec 1, 2017
2,748
The Land
I knew a girl in high school that addressed her parents by their first names. It shocked me a little, and sure enough she treated them like she was a roommate paying rent there.
 
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