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My long term girlfriend's mom wants us to buy her a house and she will pay rent on it. What do? (More details inside)

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klastical

klastical

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Oct 29, 2017
4,712
My girlfriends mom, let's call her barb is in a bad living situation. Shes has a good paying job but made some bad buissness decisions and has terrible credit as a result. She has some dogs that she will never get rid of so apartment living is out of the question.

Buying the house would mean taking out a $40,000 loan and barb would pay the mortgage. Im not sure how much it would cost per month but it would be much less than the cost of her renting a place. The house is very small hence why the mortgage is so low. We would obviously get an inspection done to find any issues with the house.

My girlfriend and I already have substantial debt ourselves with our own mortgage and we just got a new car payment on top of student loans and credit card debt from being stupid 20-somethings.

If her mom were to die and we had to take over payments then we would be able to use her life insurance policy to pay off the house so that's not something to worry about.

I'm mostly worried about how taking on that much additional debt would effect our credit. Is there anything else I should be thinking about?
 
Z-Beat

Z-Beat

One Winged Slayer
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Oct 25, 2017
31,840
Johnny is that you?
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Fudgepuppy

Fudgepuppy

Banned
Oct 27, 2017
4,270
Don't do it.

Imagine a friend of yours describing this situation to you. Would you tell them to go for it?
 
Jovo

Jovo

Member
Oct 25, 2017
863
Are you insane? This would be a terrible decision if you went ahead with it.
 
Trojita

Trojita

Member
Oct 25, 2017
5,721
Shes has a good paying job but made some bad buissness decisions and has terrible credit as a result.
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My girlfriend and I already have substantial debt ourselves with our own mortgage and we just got a new car payment on top of student loans and credit card debt from being stupid 20-somethings.
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Nope

Also she's your girlfriend not your wife. Have her sign the paperwork if it comes to it.
 
JaseMath

JaseMath

Member
Oct 27, 2017
9,369
Denver, CO
klastical said:
My girlfriends mom, let's call her barb is in a bad living situation. Shes has a good paying job but made some bad buissness decisions and has terrible credit as a result. She has some dogs that she will never get rid of so apartment living is out of the question.

Buying the house would mean taking out a $40,000 loan and barb would pay the mortgage. Im not sure how much it would cost per month but it would be much less than the cost of her renting a place. The house is very small hence why the mortgage is so low. We would obviously get an inspection done to find any issues with the house.

My girlfriend and I already have substantial debt ourselves with our own mortgage and we just got a new car payment on top of student loans and credit card debt from being stupid 20-somethings.

If her mom were to die and we had to take over payments then we would be able to use her life insurance policy to pay off the house so that's not something to worry about.

I'm mostly worried about how taking on that much additional debt would effect our credit. Is there anything else I should be thinking about?
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Apologies as I don't know the situation beyond what you've described, but this seems horribly selfish on the part of the mother given the above. Do not do this—you have your own lives and debts to attend to. If anything, view the mother as a cautionary tale.
 
weemadarthur

weemadarthur

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Oct 25, 2017
10,588
Apartment living, and other renting situations, are NOT out of the question. It just is a more limited selection due to pets, but that is not your problem.

A person who has a history of bad business decisions likely has a future of more bad business decisions.

Taking on debt on behalf of another person is almost invariably a bad idea.
 
Pickle

Pickle

Banned
Oct 27, 2017
772
Depends on how deeply vested you are with your girlfriend. If you 2 are very stable and know you will be life partners by now then you could consider it, if you have a doubt in your mind AT ALL, then NO! Imagine how awful it would be if you split and you had to collect from your ex's mom. The other worst aspect is that if her mom has made wrong decisions before, she could still make them now and it cost her ability to pay you long before she dies and you can use a life policy to pay the house.
 
joecanada

joecanada

Member
Oct 28, 2017
3,651
Canada
If you want to help her out just buy the place and rent it to her for a good deal. Or just give her a couple bucks a month for rent and forget the house. Costs a bit more now saves major headache later
 
Cilidra

Cilidra

A friend is worth more than a million Venezuelan$
Member
Oct 25, 2017
1,489
Ottawa
If you do it, you have the house in your name AND you have a formal lease agreement with your mother. If you do it, do it like a investment property. That said, is the home a good investment? WIll you be able to resell to same price or higher relatively quick if things don't go well OR can you easily lease it to someone else if your mother leave at a price that will allow you to repay the house? If not don't do it.
 
Viewt

Viewt

Member
Oct 25, 2017
2,801
Chicago, IL
Oof, yeah, that's a risk, and financial entanglement with family can be a big stress on the relationship.

What does your girlfriend think about this? And also, how willing are you to see this through a worst case scenario. Do you really trust Barb? Because she has most of the leverage once this happens - she'll be able to walk, legally, at any time if you don't set up a lease. Is she able to absorb any issues with the house down the line? If the roof needs work and you find out something below the surface wasn't done to code, is she going to take care of it? It sounds like you've got a lot of other areas of debt, so consider the reality of dealing with those *and* that. If that's not feasible, you need to have a frank discussion with all parties

I'm not saying that you shouldn't do it - just that you have to consider all possibilities and be able to have really transparent conversations about money with Barb. It's not about being impolite - it's just in everyone's best interest that there's no room for confusion to occur.

Good luck!
 
RedMercury

RedMercury

Blue Venus
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Dec 24, 2017
17,650
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Can't believe you would consider this for a second dude, especially given your debt situation.
 
whatsinaname

whatsinaname

Member
Oct 25, 2017
15,054
Step 1 - Have lots of debt.

Step 2 - Get a mortgage with a girlfriend (not a legal partner).

Step 3 - Get a mortgage for gf's mother.

What could go wrong.
 
Nose Master

Nose Master

Member
Oct 27, 2017
2,717
Jesus christ dude, no. She is under zero obligation to pay you anything and evicting her would be a mess.
 
Silver-Streak

Silver-Streak

Member
Oct 25, 2017
3,007
Absolutely not. If your own finances where fully in order, then maybe consider it if you were to get a legal contract drafted up. Your own finances aren't in perfect order, and it's not your actual mother-in-law (even if it was my recommendation wouldn't change) so absolutely not.
 

nitewulf

Member
Nov 29, 2017
7,195
klastical said:
My girlfriends mom, let's call her barb is in a bad living situation. Shes has a good paying job but made some bad buissness decisions and has terrible credit as a result. She has some dogs that she will never get rid of so apartment living is out of the question.

Buying the house would mean taking out a $40,000 loan and barb would pay the mortgage. Im not sure how much it would cost per month but it would be much less than the cost of her renting a place. The house is very small hence why the mortgage is so low. We would obviously get an inspection done to find any issues with the house.

My girlfriend and I already have substantial debt ourselves with our own mortgage and we just got a new car payment on top of student loans and credit card debt from being stupid 20-somethings.

If her mom were to die and we had to take over payments then we would be able to use her life insurance policy to pay off the house so that's not something to worry about.

I'm mostly worried about how taking on that much additional debt would effect our credit. Is there anything else I should be thinking about?
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if she has a good job, and someone you trust (afterall, your long term gf's mom is someone close to you), then why not? it might even be better for you guys in the long run if planning to have kids etc...you will have multiple houses you can leave to your kids.
 
Verelios

Verelios

Member
Oct 26, 2017
14,877
It's already been said OP, but this is a bad idea. Stop and think this through, you seem to be trying to convince yourself step by step with how small the mortage is, to how her mother's life insurance would pay it off in case of an unfortunate accident while neglecting all the variables that could happen while she's alive. Ask your girlfriend about how she feels on this and if she's willing to sign off on the mortgage.
 

Deleted member 33887

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2,109
I feel like the dogs are a misdirection. Also they would likely massively depreciate the place if they're being left alone for long periods of time, and that's if everything else goes well. Why on earth would you go in debt more over someone else's bad decisions?
 
NinjaScooter

NinjaScooter

Member
Oct 25, 2017
54,123
There is a reason she can't get a bank loan herself.

Based on your description, and the situation, this literally sounds like the worst idea possible.
 
OP
OP
klastical

klastical

Member
Oct 29, 2017
4,712
My girlfriend and I have been together for ten years. Sorry I should have included that up front. Were not married but we might as well be.

Her mom has done us a lot of favors over the years. I lived in her basement for years for basically free. So we do feel a sense of obligation to help her out.

Over a decade ago she lost her job but got a healthy severance package and decided to start a small buissness. This was right at the start of the recession and it all blew up before the buissness even had a chance to get off the ground. She eventually lost her house and had to move in with one of her other kids. Her husband turned to drugs and she got divorced. Now her living situation is going sour. Shes not a big risk taker, she just got burned by the bad economy and has been unable to catch a break.

Going by all of the people immediately telling me no I don't think were going to do it I just feel like my initial post painted her mother in a bad light.
 
NinjaScooter

NinjaScooter

Member
Oct 25, 2017
54,123
klastical said:
My girlfriend and I have been together for ten years. Sorry I should have included that up front. Were not married but we might as well be.

Her mom has done us a lot of favors over the years. I lived in her basement for years for basically free. So we do feel a sense of obligation to help her out.

Over a decade ago she lost her job but got a healthy severance package and decided to start a small buissness. This was right at the start of the recession and it all blew up before the buissness even had a chance to get off the ground. She eventually lost her house and had to move in with one of her other kids. Her husband turned to drugs and she got divorced. Now her living situation is going sour. Shes not a big risk taker, she just got burned by the bad economy and has been unable to catch a break.

Going by all of the people immediately telling me no I don't think were going to do it I just feel like my initial post painted her mother in a bad light.
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People who have bad credit are not bad people, but they are unreliable financially. Putting yourself on the hook for them when you yourself aren't in the best financial position is a terrible idea. I understand wanting to help her, but help her in a way that makes rational sense and doesn't have the potential to cripple you financially and turn your entire life on its head if something goes wrong.
 
Dr. Monkey

Dr. Monkey

Member
Oct 25, 2017
15,029
If you do it, make it legal - she has to sign a lease, etc. That erases some of the concerns here. It means you'd have to evict her if she didn't pay and you couldn't, but at least you'd have some recourse.
 
NinjaScooter

NinjaScooter

Member
Oct 25, 2017
54,123
Dr. Monkey said:
If you do it, make it legal - she has to sign a lease, etc. That erases some of the concerns here. It means you'd have to evict her if she didn't pay and you couldn't, but at least you'd have some recourse.
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Even then, OP is stuck with a mortgage he probably can't afford. There's just no sound reason to put your neck out their in this way, and frankly, if mom-in-law knows their financial situation, she should be understanding of that.
 
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