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New research may show the key on how to talk someone out of bigotry
- Thread starter marmalade
- Start date
This isn't particularly groundbreaking, as many have demonstrated its effectiveness over the years.
The issue that arises is who's responsibility is it to do this? Often it seems people who are directly threatened by bigoted views are asked to carry this weight while those unaffected aren't concerned enough to try.
The issue that arises is who's responsibility is it to do this? Often it seems people who are directly threatened by bigoted views are asked to carry this weight while those unaffected aren't concerned enough to try.
Look at what the Russians are trying to do to us.
Then do the opposite of that.
Democracy saved. Yay.
Then do the opposite of that.
Democracy saved. Yay.
Unfortunately there's next to no impetus for a bigot to change their views and consider the other on their own.
Yes, I, the queer-person-of-color should listen to a MAGAT vent about how I and everyone that looks like me is causing the fall of western civilization. This is some privileged shit.
You don't have to engage if you don't want but it works somewhat . -shrugs-
You could always try to rally some white liberals to try this in your stead if you prefer.
OP
OP
The research might suggest the person who has direct experience works the best.
It really sucks that apparently bigots just want to feel understood. Their identities are so fragile.
If we want to win yeah
I wouldn't expect people to do it, but it's a worthy goal and necessary to gain power/make a better society.
I think everybody wants to feel understood. It's worth noting expressing empathy and understanding is a good way of changing people's minds in general and not just for bigoted views.
I think more compassion and empathy is needed in general. It's really hard to give in such a polarized society, especially when some people don't deserve it... but it's always more about personal values than how the other people acted.
Ding ding. People are human with human mental needs. They are not rational, they don't follow any idealistic model, they are flawed. The way that gets projected varies. You know why anyone hangs out with bigots? Acceptance. At the same time others are bound by the same limitations. Being the bucket for someone else requires sanity to spare, if you don't have it then you can't be expected to give it.
All that needs to be said.
The thing is that they drag all of us down with them.
We can't ignore them. In a vacuum, we can, but they fuck over everyone else.
I wonder if this could be a new kind of job. Like a traveling therapist who listens to people and nudges them in the right direction.
Although I'm immediately thinking about how it gets twisted a few decades down the line and ends up becoming some kind of propaganda vehicle.
Nope. Extremist sections have always persisted. You win by outnumbering them eventually through educating children and younger generations. But the already-deeply entrenched are not worth the time or effort to convert when the conversion ratio is pathetic relative to the resources necessary to move them over. Let them die of opiates.
yeah just respectfully tell the race science loving stefan molyneux subscribers that racism isn't very not cool, it'll solve everything. let's try and treat ghouls who wank to non-white & non-heterosexual genocide with some empathy
Makes sense. I doubt anyone is really going to learn if they're ignored since they can easily find another like-minded person online.
I've tried this whole bit and it cannot be stressed how tiring and stressful it is. I know folk that will radicalize in retaliation to any sort of judgement or callout, but if unprovoked will still slowly radicalize themselves anyway. I also know folk that take years to slowly pull along the line, only to squirm into undoing it if they stumble on a shortcut.
Lots of these sorts of people just want to be understood and know someone is listening, sure. But lots of others ultimately want to be told that everything they think is right, and will do whatever they can to facilitate it.
Lots of these sorts of people just want to be understood and know someone is listening, sure. But lots of others ultimately want to be told that everything they think is right, and will do whatever they can to facilitate it.
I think this is part of what being a true ally entails: leveraging your privilege to sway people when possible.
Oh man free drinks for life for whatever marginalized person wants to talk to MAGAts about times they've felt victimized.
*effective for up to 3 months!
*effective for up to 3 months!
Y'know, a good way to keep people from spewing virulent bigotry is to demonstrate that it can be hazardous to their health. Just saying.
"Hey you, Decent Human Being! To help solve the societal issues plaguing the world all you have to do is listen to, find common ground with, appease, be gracious towards, roll with the punches thrown by, and just be all around accepting of the vile hatred thrown your way by the people who despise your very existence.
Just do that and they might eventually one day maybe consider you 'alright'! "
Just do that and they might eventually one day maybe consider you 'alright'! "
This is a basic rule that applies to everyone, really. Once you understand that, you can understand the more abstract things people like bigots want, and how they might have been led astray by someone or some idea.
Often, it's as simple as self-esteem or belonging. Everyone needs these things.
OP
OP
I believe this was Sarah Silverman's TV show. W. Kamau Bell is almost adjacent to this in a way.
Perhaps listening and the showing them that , we, as lgbt people, don't bite (unless you're into that) and are just regular folks too, works.
This is similar to what I do as a crisis counsellor in some ways. I talk to people who engage in intimate partner violence, or abusive behaviour as it may be more commonly called. We work from similar research (and experience) that shows that non judgemental engagement is more effective in the long term in altering behaviour. At my organization we have groups that people (most often men) can attend and talk about their experience as abusers without judgement on the part of the facilitators. It may seem counter intuitive, or even offensive to some, to engage with harmful people in this way but it can and does work in changing behaviour. I tend to think of it as a kind of positive manipulation, where you're being very conscious and aware of what you say and how you say it in order to change someones behaviour - except in an opposite sense from malicious manipulation you're not doing it to control someone and exploit them.
The caveat being that if the people we work with act in a way that is openly harmful, we can and will say that we won't work with them if at the time we're talking they don't cease certain language (like say misogynistic language). I can recall times where I've had to say things like 'I understand you're angry, but if you can't stop talking about x that way then we're going to have to stop talking at this time'. In a sense, this lets them know that it's on them to engage in a healthier way.
Though I wouldn't say that people have to do this or that it is the only path that people should take. I can totally understand not wanting to and not feeling like one should have to engage with a bigot. The other thing is, in my work the people who come to us are openly vulnerable and this is and can be different than just encountering a bigot or the like out in the world where they may not be open at all.
The caveat being that if the people we work with act in a way that is openly harmful, we can and will say that we won't work with them if at the time we're talking they don't cease certain language (like say misogynistic language). I can recall times where I've had to say things like 'I understand you're angry, but if you can't stop talking about x that way then we're going to have to stop talking at this time'. In a sense, this lets them know that it's on them to engage in a healthier way.
Though I wouldn't say that people have to do this or that it is the only path that people should take. I can totally understand not wanting to and not feeling like one should have to engage with a bigot. The other thing is, in my work the people who come to us are openly vulnerable and this is and can be different than just encountering a bigot or the like out in the world where they may not be open at all.
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Oh, the deeply entrenched for sure. I was thinking more about the mostly ignorant rather than the mostly malicious if that makes sense
