Discussion in 'EtcetEra' started by Robin, Jun 21, 2018.
Can I ask what the purpose of the thread was? Like, what would be the spectrum of acceptable opinion in this thread without risking being banned or suspended?
Does the OP realise that posting a thread as a mod has an immediate chilling effect on people that might want to express an opinion but feel unable to do so.
And for a lot of them, that might be the correct way, to make sure they take stock and ponder what they actually mean before offering something.
But it also means that people cant understand why their position might be wrong, worrisome, transphobic or problematic.
So far, the pathway to not get banned is to say "I only date people I can have children with".
Was this a genuine attempt to challenge conventional views?
Because my answer is pretty obvious depending on how you answer that question.
What are the stats on Trans people dating gay people?
For example, Trans men dating gay men or trans women dating lesbian women?
I’d be interested in seeing how this has changed and continues to change over time. You would hope that low number in the OP is at the very least a little higher than it would have been in previous years. Still disappointing to see though.
Most hostile forum I visit, that's for sure.
There’s something to be said about people not being open enough to date someone because they were born as something other than what they are at present. That likely points to some type of prejudice.
But not being down with dating someone who currently does not have the sexual organ you yourself like to play with ain’t it. I don’t like penises, no matter who they’re attached to.
I don’t think anyone would seriously argue your preferred sex makes you bigoted.
Look at the op for the direct quote. Can’t post it for some reason.
I don't believe trans male surgery is advanced enough to fully construct a working male penis yet, so that would be a major obstacle for me personally. Maybe once science catches up enough more people would be on board.
I'm not building a funeral pyre for you for anything you've said, but I'll leave you to your views. I'll take my drivel with me, but I'm not getting the fuck outta here.
It's not like people pick who they're attracted to.
I'm all for trans rights, but I have the right to my own sex life too, just like anyone else does or at least should. Not that I have much of a sex life.
If it was bannable to say you wouldn't date a trans person then apparently 97% of straight people wouldn't be welcome here.
How different is questioning straight guys about them preferring ciswomen because of their genital preferences from questioning gay men for choosing penises and ignoring vaginas? Not much different, in my opinion.
Sexual preference is not the same as being discriminatory.
Non CIS != Trans
A person's sexual preference is their own. Im not going to judge someone for not wanting to date a transexual person, just like I won't judge someone for dating a transsexual person. It comes down to the persons preference. I'm a cis straight male and I have no interests in dating a transsexual woman. I dont have anything against them but I prefer cis straight women.
My point is more on the relationship of dating/attraction to social acceptance which I don't think is useful focus given all the uncertainties in dating/attraction in the first place. Not only that but there's a huge gulf in attainment between getting trans-gender individuals equal treatment and making majority of others date them. Who anybody dates is inherently impossible to dictate (well without a social structure you really wouldn't want anyway). I'd focus energies on more urgent social and professional issues with discrimination of trans individuals myself.
This seems like a bad study, but even if it wasn't so broad I'm sure the numbers would still be embarrassing.
I think society has long forged the penis as a masculine thing, and I wouldn't want to engage sexually with another penis because of that masculine connection.
If a trans woman is post-op, she's no different from a cis woman sexually speaking, and wouldn't be excluded from my potential dating pool.
I assume, however, I'd be labeled as a "No" on this study because of that stance.
Even that stance is a tiny group of people, and it's a shame, but I have no idea how that mindset shifts besides time.
or her knowing that she is sterile when you start dating. If then, years later, it comes out that she is sterile, it's not a matter of deciding whether to date anymore, but a matter of deciding whether you stand by your partner after loving the partner for many years and having formed a partnership already. As important as reproduction is for me, if my wife had turned out sterile, I would definitely not have left her for that.
Now, on the other hand, this poll makes the assumption you are aware a potential partner is transsexual, because if you are unaware of it, the question whether you'd date the person is certainly stupid. Now, if you are aware that a person is trans and does not have the right sex for you to be able to get children with the person, then this is a valid reason not to want to date the person as to not to start a relationship with someone you know in advance will not be able to get children. In a sense, we are experiencing here a shift from a "me" perspective (person deciding on who to date) to a "we" perspective (persons already in an established relationship). Of course, this is potentially less of an issue with matching sex but incongruent gender, depending on whether the potential partner plans on having any procedures done.
I think it's a bit odd that people who have been claiming that they have no control over their own sexual preferences are now raising eyebrows at the sexual preferences of those 50% of trans folk.
Can't have it both ways.
I consider trans women to be women and trans men to be men.
I really love how people have completely twisted the thread into little sub arguments and excuses, when really the main issue is people, full stop, won't date a trans person simply because they are trans.
And we have people in this thread being open and honest with that, and then being applauded by other members like they are brave for saying how they marginalize a marginalized group of people.
men than transwomen. Now, personally I fall into that camp, although we've had a few replies to the contrary already. I think nobody has really asked this question directly, and I think it's worth asking. The article in the OP provides some evidence to back me up:
"Surprisingly, among the 127 participants open to dating a trans person, almost half selected a trans person of a gender incongruent with their stated sexual orientation. For example, 50% of the trans-inclusive straight women and 28% of the trans-inclusive gay men were willing to date a trans woman, even though one wouldn’t expect either straight women or gay men to be attracted to women. Similarly, 50% of trans-inclusive straight men and 69% of trans-inclusive lesbians said they’d date a trans man, even though both groups are presumably only attracted to women."
This is going to be a very difficult question to answer, because I'm sure exceedingly few people have ever thought about it, and even those who do so now will be deeply wrapped up in existing prejudices. Also, the attraction of cismen to transmen is likely to exist on a continuum with a sharp dropoff at some point. Lots of dude are into tomboys or mannish women, fewer are going to be into that ripped hairy dude a few posts up.
This thread has run its course.
We will be looking into some of the posts and see if further action is required.