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New Research Shows a Vast Majority of Cis People Won't Date Trans People
- Thread starter Robin
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Not surprising. Not only is there an issue with sexual compatibility, but dating a trans person is just difficult. I dated a trans woman for a year, and she was an awesome person but that relationship was stressful due to the baggage she had to carry from the abuse she experienced in her life. There was a night I had to physically restrain her from killing herself. There's no way I could ever enter a relationship like that again. Obviously not all trans people are in that position, but I understand it's a hurdle when many people are just looking for something carefree.
I wonder what the percentage would be if it was oral and she was attractive and there was an asterisk that said "no one will ever know"
The study really should have taken that into consideration. I don't think it's fair to call out people in this thread for not directly addressing post-op individuals when the study in the OP didn't bother either.
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It's totally fair to call out people making broad assumptions about an entire demographic.
Go on a date, get to know her, and she'll probably mention it in the course of conversation. In my experience most trans people will disclose pretty up front on their own if they've not had surgeries yet so there's no awkwardness later.
I'm sure there are people who personally don't find specific genitalia attractive.
But there is clearly a large group of people, even in this thread, who are literally just transphobic and feel completely fine being so.
But there is clearly a large group of people, even in this thread, who are literally just transphobic and feel completely fine being so.
This is a good point.
I imagine there are very few characteristics about a person that results in less than 2% of straight women and less than 3.5% of straight men being attracted to them.
There is unquestionably a huge amount of ignorance regarding transgender people.
I believe it's a reference to the booty, and icecream.
Edit: which is a weird thing to bring up.
Yeah, the study should have specified that. I'm certain that the average person doesn't think about people who are post-op with hormone therapy and all of that stuff
A cis woman finding out she cant have kids is vastly different than a trans woman not being able to have kids. My best friend and his wife recently found out she cant have kids and its been a huge emotional blow to both of them, shes suffered the most and his been her pillar of support though out the who process. Adoption is now on the table for them. Unless you have that mindset you are not going to consider it until you are put in that situation.
Lol
Nah. People are capable of caveating here. They haven't. Shit we've had people outright say in the bedroom post op trans women are still men to them and get praise for articulating it.
I piss out of my penis and I stick it in a hole that also pisses. Or I stick it in a hole that shits. Or I stick it in a hole that spits.
I don't want to speak for trans women, but I would assume if this is how you're gonna approach it, it's better to stay away?
I would advise against suddenly asking a stranger about their genitals. And similarly, I would assume they'd leave it out of their profiles cause they don't want to openly talk about their genitals on a dating profile.
EDIT: The suggestion that you go on a date with them is maybe better, but it would probably also not be a great feeling to watch you react to an answer you didn't want, y'know.
Are you implying that heterosexuality is a social construct here?
I know there's a high amount of active LGBT posters on Resetera (myself one of them), and the study not mentioning a difference between post and pre op is gonna naturaly lead to peopel arguing over different points entirely...
...But that this thread has legitimatly reached the point were people are arguing that straight people don't actually exist is something else altogether.
This is right on point. You can't take away the agency of people to choose who they date.
For me personally, dating a trans woman doesn't fit my self-image or idea of attraction. And judging by this study, the overwhelmingly number of cis people feel the same way, and that's ok. I know I support the full civil rights of trans people regardless, and I believe a growing number of Americans do now as well.
Difference between knowing someone can't have children from day 1 versus you both finding out years later. Someone might decide their partner is more important than potential children by that point.
Not that anybody needs a reason to not date someone.
I would totally date a trans woman, but unless she's has surgery there won't be any hanky-panky because I am simply not into penises, except for a very abusive relationship with my own.
Did you give up on insisting that wanting to procreate (but only 2 or 3 times!) is in our biological makeup? It being a preference isn't really relevant to your original point.
To be fair that's not a trans trait. I've got fuck tons of baggage and I'm cis. And I've met trans people who suffered little to no abuse and were handling life way better than me
Lmao that is not where I thought this would go, well, alright then.
I guess the gist of it is that you generally don't know if the trans person you're meeting is pre or post-op (kinda important for sexy time). And since as a cis, you generally don't know how you can ask THAT question without being an ass, you take "no risk" and pass on.
At least, that's my take on it.
At least, that's my take on it.
But I want to change this mindset, and that's where the difference is. I'm aware that this way of thinking is absolutely 100% fucking wrong, and doesn't align with my personal beliefs that everyone should be afforded equal rights. Truth be told, I don't know how, and that's perhaps the scariest part of all for me.
I'm picturing a first a second date where a women or guy talks about how they can't have kids/have fertility issues
"Hahahaha CYA LOSSA!"
I always love the idea of putting value on someone if their reproductive organs are 100% functional.
I remember a thread on GAF from like 10-11 years ago where people considered it acceptable to beat up a trans person if you had sex with them and they only disclosed that they were trans after the fact. I think we've made progress since then (I doubt many would consider that socially acceptable now) but we've still got quite a long way to go.
Do you think it's fair when folks respond to posts suggesting every person who decides not to have a relationship with or have sex with a trans person is a bigot?
Being mentally prepared for kids after years of being in a relationship with a loved one and being crushed when your plans fall apart is completely different from knowing a specific avenue to have kids was not in the books from the start
Omg. Thread redeemed. You think women pee out of their vaginas?
Most americans need it tbh. one of my friends thought her pee literally came out her vagina and not urethra.
I don't think coming at people for racial preferences in dating is the way to go so long as those preferences have pretty good reasoning behind them.
For example, I prefer black women because a black woman is more likely to empathize with my life experiences, here in America or elsewhere.
That isn't to say that I would never date or marry a woman of any other race though; which is why I think "preference" is the wrong word to use when people say they'd prefer not to date trans people. What they really mean is "never", which doesn't really seem to imply a simple preference at all, but unattraction at best and prejudice at worst.
I never said I didn't admit that. I typed it out, plain as day, while trying to get to the root of what my own issue is.
Though I think "I'm just not attracted to trans women" might be what my own problem is, and I probably just need to feel more comfortable admitting I've yet to meet a trans woman I'm physically attracted to, pre- or post-op. They're no less women to me than any other woman I'm just not attracted to.
That's still a shitty thing to cop to, and I never want to dead this topic with "they're just not attractive to me", because that isn't at all constructive.
This is pretty much my take too. It is internal prejudice. I don't think people need to be browbeaten about it if it is only extending to their dating choices, but accepting your own prejudices and realizing that they are illogical and not admirable helps in not spreading them to other people (like your eventual kids) and perpetuating these cycles.
I don't think that we are THAT far away from the biological children thing being a non-issue. A few decades assuming that our politicians don't send us back to serfdom. Someone will figure out how to reliably make gametes out of autosomal cells. Coming up with a uterus solution for cis-male/trans-female couples is probably further off, but given how far genetics and med-tech has come in 50 years, probably not THAT far off. Transitioning methods will continue improving too, especially as increasing acceptance/awareness leads to more transgender kids realizing that they are transgender at younger ages. So if these stats don't dramatically improve in the future, it will be because our generation passed on their prejudices.
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