A Visit From A Fan
Twas the night before New Year's,
And all through the rink
Not a creature was sleeping;
Not even a wink!
And Coach Q was pacing about, on his toes;
When suddenly Bowman appeared, and he froze!
With Stan in his blazer, and John in his suit,
There was little question of this meeting's root.
And so Stan spoke up first, as he would as G.M.,
While Q's expression darkened -- would this be the end?
"We need to talk, John, about our team's play--"
"This isn't my fault, Stan. There is just no way!"
And Bowman smiled in the knowing way he can,
Leaving Quenneville searching for words to give Stan.
"We need to get better, we need to gain ground.
"So, John, got any ideas kicking around?"
Coach Q swallowed, knowing that this was his chance,
To save his job he'd do anything, even prance!
"...This won't be easy, but I know the true cause,"
Began Quenneville after a dramatic pause.
"After three Stanley Cups, our guys are laid back.
"I tell you, it's collective heart which they lack!
"It's Tazer, it's Kaner, it's Sharpie, and Crow!
"It's Duncan, and Panik! It's Brandon... where's Hoss'?!
"These players are rotten! These players are bad!
"It's awful -- so awful -- it's making me mad!
"There's one guy I can count on, Brent Seabrook; yes, him!
"Brent's the one player on a team otherwise grim.
"So, Stan, that is the situation we've got.
"The curse of winning three cups -- this is our lot."
Bowman stood and considered John's words with great care;
He, too, believed blame the players should bear.
"John, you know that we've been friends a long time.
"I trust you implicitly; you've done no crime.
"Some fans might think that they could do your job,
"But you're one of the best coaches around, full stop.
"I'll do what I can on my end to fix things
"And if the players don't like it, I'll swipe their rings!"
At this vote of confidence Quenneville became
Overcome with joy -- till someone called his name?!
"Q!" said a voice; it was unfamiliar to John.
"I've come for your head, Quenneville. I want you gone!"
Quenneville and Bowman each stood still as a rock.
Clearly at this disruption they were in shock.
"My name is Marvie," said the strange and harsh voice.
"Fire him, Bowman. I won't give you a choice."
This "Marvie" was determined, it seemed, to make
Q pay the ultimate price; all was at stake!
But that Stan was a wily old fox, as you know.
He was not gonna let some fan run the show.
"Come now, Marvie good sir. Let's all just relax.
"The reality is I can't give Q the ax.
"Tell me who would replace him? Mike Babcock? Please.
"I'll give you something to put your mind at ease.
"For the Winter Classic, have a ticket,
"For you Marvie, it's free; you deserve it."
But Marvie, confused, went on to remark:
"The Hawks aren't playing, though. Oh, what a lark!"
"Wait, Marvie," Stan said, "the game is outdoors.
"Of course we're playing! I know this for sure."
Marvie though knew better, and he'd not be misled.
And thus ends the story, as he lopped off Q's head.
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