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Not invited to a party my wife was invited to? Implied invited or nah?
- Thread starter Timeaisis
- Start date
OP
OP
Who said anything about improving relationships? My goal here is not to be friends with these people. Especially if they don't care to do such an easy thing as to invite me somewhere. So they think I'm quiet or whatever, they already thought that. They don't care for me, I don't care for them. Nothing of value was lost.
It's worth noting I am already friends with many of my wife's coworkers. Just not these ones.
Like how hard is it to put a little effort into this? It's not. If I'm not worth minimal effort, what the hell is the point of me showing up when I'm neutral to these people to begin with.
Why not be friends with them? Your wife is. That's a bit strange you have this huge hangup about trying to be friends with them because they think you're quiet and they didn't send you an invite to their party. Like, If I invited someone to a party and their partner didn't come because they didn't get an explicit invite, I'd probably think the person's weird. You are coming at this situation entirely wrong and it won't make you look good.
If you're neutral with them why should they send an invite to you as well? You even admit they're don't know you as well. They have a party setup where you can go and you decide not to. If anything, they are actually trying here and you're sitting at home playing Sekiro upset you didn't get an explicit invite.
partner is one word.
Significant other sounds like an over elaborated made up term.
This. If they came back to me later and say "you didn't come?!", I'd just tell them that they didn't explicitely invited me and that, if they wanted to see me, that they should have been explicit about it.
If you're going to show this thread to your wife later; since you weren't invited in my opinion, that means it's best that you not go to the party and stay home playing video games. 100%! Since they didn't explicitly invite you, it means you aren't welcome.
I got your back OP!
How were these invitations doled out exactly? Were they formal RSVPs or just a casual "you wanna come?" because Jesus you are overthinking it. You are thrown for a loop because they explicitly invited a coworkers SO, but how did you come by this information? Are they friends with the SO, do they remember your first name? People chatting ain't always gonna get invited with the same phrases. "Oh hey you and Kathy should come to our party. Oh hey Stacy y'all invited too."
I think it's worth noting you were never keen on going, opting instead to stay home and play video games. Maybe they've picked up on this from the past and just didn't name drop you. This is how it is with me and my wife, her friends used to invite me too but usually I just stay home at this point so they don't ask after me, but I'm usually implicitly invited if I change my mind.
I think it's worth noting you were never keen on going, opting instead to stay home and play video games. Maybe they've picked up on this from the past and just didn't name drop you. This is how it is with me and my wife, her friends used to invite me too but usually I just stay home at this point so they don't ask after me, but I'm usually implicitly invited if I change my mind.
If you are married and your partner is invited to a gathering / party and it is known that gathering / party is going to include couples, you are also invited wether it was explicitly stated or not and wether you were asked for by name or not.
Chances are they did not remember your name and instead of admitting so or embarrassing themselves they just decided not to even go there. Not a big deal whatever the case may be.
If your wife wants you to go with her then go. If she does not and is cool going on their own enjoy some alone time.
But holy hell stop over analyzing it when there is no reason to do so. Unless of course you enjoy unnecessary irrelevant drama.
Chances are they did not remember your name and instead of admitting so or embarrassing themselves they just decided not to even go there. Not a big deal whatever the case may be.
If your wife wants you to go with her then go. If she does not and is cool going on their own enjoy some alone time.
But holy hell stop over analyzing it when there is no reason to do so. Unless of course you enjoy unnecessary irrelevant drama.
I just had a house party this evening. Some guests let me know a head of time they were bringing someone, which was cool. Some just brought their significant other without mentioning and that was cool too. As long as the guests had a good time and they were comfortable.
It would be a little weird if someone brought like 4 people without letting me know. I don't think there's anything to worry about on your end.
It would be a little weird if someone brought like 4 people without letting me know. I don't think there's anything to worry about on your end.
In my opinion you should talk about it with your wife and see how it went. It's basically understood in any social gathering that if one is invited and it's a couples thing (not just a girl's night), the other is implicitly expected. In fact, it can be quite weird for the other NOT to go.
I would feel like a total dick if I told my wife to go to a party alone when other couples will be there. If she was invited and is of the assumption that you are also invited then that is all the invitation one needs. Why you think you'd get a personal invite is beyond me
are you ESL?
[not trying to patronize, legit question, as SO is a common / accepted term and used all the time]
SO is better than partner, partner has multiple meanings
Significant other can only mean one thing.
All of you saying it's implicit are glossing over the fact that other SO's were explicitly invited. I would draw a line in the sand tell my wife to choose me or them which would invariably lead to divorce.
OP
OP
Not really a personal invite, I don't expect people to reach out to me. If I were welcome I would expect a clear "your husband is welcome" to my wife if other SOs were explicitly invited. That not being the case led me to creating this thread.
It's worth noting that the people hosting this are a married couple. One of them currently works at my wife's company, and the other used to work there and is friends with all other coworkers already. The other SOs do not work at the company. So it's neither a girls night but I guess could still be considered a company-related thing.
I know it may seem to some like I really wanted to go to this, but that's just not the case. I'm much more interested in knowing intention here so I can understand these people for future reference.
Exactly this.
If the SO isn't invited, it will be explicitly made clear, like with a women-only baby shower or a guys night out or something like that.
So why were other SO's explicitly invited. I'm not buying the "They're friends excuse" even less of reason to explicitly invite them because they know they're welcome.
Depends on if there's a mode of communication with the other SO's (such as Facebook or evite) that they have in common but the OP doesn't.
You may not buy it, but it's because they're direct friends of the hosts already. It's a case of if one of the two can't make it, the other one is specifically invited to come alone. Whereas in the case of the OP, if the SO who received the direct invite can't make it, it would not make sense for the OP himself to show up.
if you have some side actions you gotta make the distinction
Put me down as another vote for implicit invite. Hell, if I'm the host of a casual party, you can bring whoever the fuck you want without telling me and that'd be fine. I wouldn't think anything of it.
I'm of a mind that if they KNOW your wife is married then yes you are invited by proxy if and only if dinner is NOT included.
If dinner is included that implies there there is a budget and they would have asked for an RSVP.
If dinner is not included you are good to go. Have fun!
If dinner is included that implies there there is a budget and they would have asked for an RSVP.
If dinner is not included you are good to go. Have fun!
I'm staunchly team #notinvited especially with the shit talking they were doing about about him.
yep.
in the past i have had a Significant Other and a Partner and they were not the same people.
I hope when they ask OP's wife where he is, she just tells them, "he's at home playing Sekiro: Shadows Die Twice."
Agreed. The only time this is not true is if it is a "girls night out" or equivalent type of event where it would be obvious.
Eh, I feel like it usually kind of is actually. Usually when people say that there's like a tone to it. Like oh he's kinda quiet huh.
Like if I went around saying oh that so and so is so loud, yeah that would usually be read as kind of a rude thing to do.
But yeah if other SOs are going you're invited. Usually for married folks and work stuff it's kind of a given the spouse can come explicitly invited or not.
This was a Seinfeld plot (where Jerry wasn't invited to a party hosted by Brian Cranston's character but wondered whether it was an oversight or a deliberate snub and agonized about it). Asking would solve the problem. Or have your wife ask for you, which would probably be less awkward.
At least if you want to go. If you don't and your wife is fine either way, don't bother.
At least if you want to go. If you don't and your wife is fine either way, don't bother.