Early 20s is a tough time, IMO too. I was pretty depressed in my early 20s precisely because of that reason... 23, for most people like me (middle class, college grad) is the first age where you really transition from this tracked life into something wide open and when society starts to really have consequential expectations for you. From age 1 to age 22, you're generally in a track: Day care, kindegarten, elementary school, middle school, high school, college. They all lead into the next, and sure, some people have diversions along the way, but many don't, and you go from one to the next. The biggest consequences are usually grades and petty things that don't really matter. 22 and 23 is a time when suddenly you've completed the track and moved into the open world, and it's likeoh, shit, this can either be really liberating or really crippling, your decisions matter more and there are more consequences for your actions. It's both a freeing feeling, but also a depressing feeling, and it can introduce a lot of anxiety. I think it's also harder today because it's a time when some peers will really excel, others won't, but you can't help but focus on those peers who are excelling and compare yourselves to them, even if they're not the norm.
I wish I could go back to myself in my early 20s and be like, I know you're broke, but you have no real responsibilities. Make your rent payments, pay your bills, but enjoy your life because this is the time when you're finally free to do what you want, without having the responsibilties of other people. Now, 10, 15 years later, if you've got kids, a spouse, a mortgage, responsibilities at your job, and so on, there are other people who rely on you for
their well being and that is a burden that you have to carry as you get older. As a young adult, most don't have that burden, but you can't help but over-burden yourself with things that -- in retrospect -- shouldn't be so burdensome. BUt, of course, I can't go back in time to tell myself that, and so like most 23 year olds, I burdened myself with things that shouldn't have been burdensome in retrospect. This time in your life is a great time of opportunity and you'll probably look back on it fondly, but you can't help but also burden yourself and be anxious over it because it's also a challenging period with a lot of change, new responsibilities, new problems. You're not alone feeling that way.
... until you realize you don't really have any of those. It just gets worse and worse the older you get, quite frankly. Only in my mid 30s, but there's no such thing as actual freedom or independence living under a modern a capitalist regime.
Yeah when someone tells you that they're feeling depressed, the best thing to do is to tell them that it only gets worse. ffs
