Rest in peace.
If you feel you might be suicidal, and live in the United States, I urge you to call the Suicide Hotline at 800-273-8255 or navigate to http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ for a live chat and additional resources. If it's not an emergency, but you want to know more about mental health, the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) offers information on their website https://www.nami.org/ and a free HELPLINE 800-950-6264. If you do not live in the United States please seek out local resources. /r/SuicideWatch has a list that may cover your country: /r/SuicideWatch/wiki/hotlines Let me know if you need any other guidance to people who help.