NYPD on Twitter: "We regret to inform that Desmond Amofah aka Etika has been found deceased." (See guidelines before posting)

BBboy20

Member
Oct 25, 2017
7,091
Trihard emote Trihex is planning a fundraiser stream this weekend in the memory of Etika through playing Mario Maker 2.
 

Tribal_Cult

Member
Nov 1, 2017
3,000
Etika's suicide has almost capitalized my thoughts for the last few days, I still can't believe it. I wasn't an extremely big fan of him but I enjoyed his outbursts, especially in the last few months. When a new character is revealed for Ultimate, his reaction was always the first one I was looking for. It's kind of poetic for me that the last one was for Banjo-Kazooie since they are my most requested ones since forever, and his reaction is kinda beautiful because he admits he "don't fuck with 'em" so he's not extremely excited, but he's just happy that they're in for all the people that were waiting for them. The fact they found his Switch next to where he jumped just breaks my heart, dude was genuine and legit. Hope he at least found his peace.
 

Kyuuji

Member
Nov 8, 2017
5,418
UK
Kyuuji reading your post brought me to tears. I know all too well those little inconveniences which prevent today from being The Day. The biggest one for me is knowing everyone is going to discuss it to no end when really (when I feel this way, I've been doing good lately) I just want to make a clean escape when it's time. Ironic, since the family gossip and improper rationalizing is partially why I feel the desire to escape in the first place.

This shit's so tough. On both ends. I've seen numerous friends go down treacherous paths due to mental illness, and there's always that point where it's obvious they've gone beyond where anyone knows how to get through to them. And you try so hard.... but they just smile and continue on as if it's as ordinary as going out for groceries.

It's really hard to remember that it gets better. Especially when it feels like the getting better is only within us, and everything around us keeps seeming to go to shit.
I am glad you've not reached that day bud. I can completely empathise with the agonising over what would happen to the family were it to happen. The scorn, whispers and shame on my parents from the rest of it. I'm also in a position where my mother supports my father financially – he's extremely capable and spends his time working on the house and restoring antiques for clients, but it doesn't pay much. I adore both of them, and for me it was also the knowledge that if I ever committed, and their relationship broke because of it, that my dad would struggle with work at his age in this modern world. He could do it, but it would be scraping by and I know what that would do to him after 50+ years of marriage, without his wife or me and alone. Every time I come close to imagining it breaks my heart, and at times it was a strong driver for me staying around. These days I'm thankful I have a whole host of reasons, wants, desires and excitements for staying alive, so I don't even need to reach into that dark place.

It definitely seems unfair, as well. That ending it should be so difficult, but it really is the depression convincing you it's the perfect solution that everyone is robbing you from. It's self-malevolence and flawed. It's beginning to understand that the rays of light are glints of the whole picture, and not just random passings like shooting stars in the night. It's understanding that the problem isn't you, but the solution is. That you're more than what you've beaten yourself down to believe. That by talking about and understanding the fractures within you, you can start to reconcile them and begin to understand and accept yourself on your own terms. Not those of others, and not those of that internal voice that's been shitting on you for years.

All the best for you and yours friend, reach out if you ever need to.

Thank you for this post Kyu, it definitely gave me some much needed insight. Hope you're doing well.
Hey you, I'm glad you found it insightful. Thank you, I am indeed and I still grin when I think of the altcoin days!
 

Lunatic

Member
Oct 27, 2017
974

I'm not crying, you're crying

As much as I understand the intent. I really do believe that saying was one of the driving points that lead to this situation to begin with. Masculinity can be a cage with no easy way out, feeling like you can't talk about your problems without looking weak in the eyes of others until something breaks, and it seems to be even more prevalent in the black community. I wonder how many other people are being driven to the brinK because they feel they will look like a bitch.

Just my two cents, anyway,
 

Mecha Meister

Member
Oct 25, 2017
545
Damn, this hurts so much. Poor Desmond, I wish he didn't have to go through the pain he did. He was such a positive person.
Rest in peace.
 
Oct 26, 2017
13,502
It was really difficult for me to express my feelings on these events. As someone who has struggled with mental health for years and has family affected by it, this news hit extremely hard. I never watched Etika's content as much but I always found his enthusiastic demeanour extremely entertaining and unsettling at the same time. Back in October, when he had one of his breakdowns, I didn't know what to make of the entire situation. When he was hospitalized in April, it became clear to me that he was suffering from personal issues. I obviously don't endorse the language he used during those times but I refrained from posting because of how difficult and complicated this situation is. Knowing what it's like to have to maintain a certain image or persona in front of people, even those close to you, can really wear you out. It took me years to be able to be true to myself and talk to other people about my problems. It's a tragedy that Etika wasn't able to get the same kind of help.

I went back to the previous thread about Etika and read through some of the comments. Not everyone who wrote insensitive stuff back then has been banned or warned but this isn't meant to be a call out post. I just hope that the same people that posted in there go back and read what they wrote with the knowledge of today. And maybe it will serve them as an opportunity to reflect on their own responsibility towards other human beings. Etika can't learn from his past mistakes but you still can.
 

Kuma Bear

Member
Oct 27, 2017
3,378
Japan
It's been a couple of days but I'm still somewhat shocked at the news. It's just such a tragic end to a life that ended too soon.
 

mindatlarge

Member
Oct 27, 2017
2,034
PA, USA
As much as I understand the intent. I really do believe that saying was one of the driving points that lead to this situation to begin with. Masculinity can be a cage with no easy way out, feeling like you can't talk about your problems without looking weak in the eyes of others until something breaks, and it seems to be even more prevalent in the black community. I wonder how many other people are being driven to the brinK because they feel they will look like a bitch.

Just my two cents, anyway,
I think it is fair to say that in trying to maintain his image and live by his catch phrase, that was one of the factors that contributed to his deteriorated mental state, especially when he was already dealing with untreated mental illness and other negative factors. He addresses this in his farewell video as well. The fact he is even able to keep his composure and maintain that front, for the most part in his final video, is telling. It is all so terribly heartbreaking.
 

denx

Member
Oct 27, 2017
1,389
This is a damn tragedy. I watched some of his videos and I enjoyed the enthusiasm he had for videogames and nerd culture. I know he's been mentally troubled since at least late last year, but it didn't have to end like this.

RIP Etika, you'll be missed.
 

Kreed

Member
Oct 25, 2017
2,459
So how differentiated is "cancel culture" supposed to be from "outrage culture"?
Etika's passing shouldn't be getting used for "outrage culture is getting out of control" arguments in order to start "giving passes" to people who say and do hurtful things to different groups of people. Everyone has a right to be upset when people make hurtful/disrespectful comments while also being able to recognize when someone is suffering from mental illness. Mental Illness doesn't excuse terrible actions and anyone should be able to call those actions out, but it also doesn't mean people should completely ignore or make fun of obvious cries for help either.
 

carlosrox

Member
Oct 25, 2017
7,689
Vancouver BC
Did someone seriously put “F” on his memorial?

Can’t people fucking stop “memeing” for a day?
I get what you're saying and I agree with the sentiment but I don't think whoever put that there meant any harm by it. Meme culture isn't my thing either but some people, especially the younger crowd live and breathe this stuff.

I mean, Etika himself seemed to be pretty knee deep in gamer/meme culture so I don't imagine he himself would be too bothered by this.

Not how I'd pay my respects to him but not everybody thinks like us. I think it's okay.

I've definitely had a lot on my mind the last few days thinking about my own struggles. I have a close friend in particular who has depression and is on medication, and he tells me I should seek some form of treatment and I keep insisting that I'm okay, and I'd only pursue treatment if I *really* felt I needed it. Sometimes I just feel like this is a more personal fight and drugs (read: medication) and talking to strangers about my shit is the solution. I kinda see it as something I *want* to handle on my own. There's numerous factors at play here for me. I will admit that when I had more serious thoughts of suicide (though never to the point of any kind of action) I still just wanted to be alone and process things my own way. But that's just me. And it doesn't mean I'm right. Maybe I should be getting help. I just think I have a handle on my situation, I've been here before. I've had many highs and lows in my life. I feel like I know how to deal with things. But I know I have people to talk to and when things get bad I usually reach out to people I feel I can trust. I think being able to talk to at least ONE person can go a long way. If not, find people to talk to. Professional help, people online, anyone. It really helps just talking about things.

Anyways I'm ranting a bit now. Take care of yourselves, everyone. Check on people.

Everyone deserves love and attention.
 
Oct 27, 2017
6,376
Bandung Indonesia
mod edit: don't link to racist twitter accounts

Some people in here are so quick to demand blood, huh. Back then during his crazy tweets I was not familiar with Etika and his situation, I thought at first he's just another troublemaker YouTuber and Twitch streamer. I didn't know stuff about his altercation with police, etc etc. That's why I posted that back then, for clarification.

For whatever reason did this person post on Twitter like that anyway? I assume he or she is a member here? At least before he or she blasted me like that he or she could have asked for clarification first.

Ah well :/
 
Last edited by a moderator:

CountAntonius

Member
Oct 25, 2017
6,611
Some people in here are so quick to demand blood, huh. Back then during his crazy tweets I was not familiar with Etika and his situation, I thought at first he's just another troublemaker YouTuber and Twitch streamer. I didn't know stuff about his altercation with police, etc etc. That's why I posted that back then, for clarification.

For whatever reason did this person post on Twitter like that anyway? I assume he or she is a member here? At least before he blasted me like that he or she could have asked for clarification first.

Ah well :/
The amount of times I've seen people labeled as "pieces of shit" on this forum is nauseating. Hindsight is 20/20 but seeing the before and after is pretty sobering.

This was a fantastic post which highlights the issue greatly.

The highlighted sentence is the big problem I have with ResetEra, Reddit, and these other big forum spaces. These are toxic communities because people create VERY decisive, extreme opinions of people they knew VERY little about. With people we know in real life, we often create nuance. For example, I love my mother, but there are also many things I have trouble forgiving her for (like her making my life miserable when I came out as gay). There is tremendous nuance and complexity in our relationship. I love her more than anything and yet she has caused me some of the biggest betrayal and pain in my life. Same with my spouse, I treasure him but he cheated on me 3 weeks into our relationship. Life and relationships are complex and nuanced.

On here you get none of that nuance. Someone reads an article where a YouTube celebrity says the “f___t” word in a manic episode and that person is now suddenly an evil, “canceled” person that needs to be mocked, hated, and labeled from then on. Almost 3 decades of life off the computer is not even able to be assessed properly. All that matters is the negative snapshots gobbled by the online channels. Even though using the f___t word is hateful and wrong, the internet and its gazing scrutiny has no time for nuance and complexity, it is instead immediately judgmental. One time I posted here that my dog doesn’t like going on walks, and I got called a dog abuser or not taking him out on walks multiple times a day. This person knew nothing about my life nor the fact that my dog had heartworms and vets orders to NOT do exercise, now I’m a dog abuser because of one poster being the judge and jury of my life. Multiply that audience by thousands, and I can see why Etika felt trapped and shamed by a community that should have handled him differently considering he was both suicidal AND bipolar.

Just take a look at some of the threads here. Someone asks for advice and posts an OP with a limited summary of information and posters immediately scrutinize and judge every detail looking for thread backfire fodder and reasons to “gotcha” the OP.

It’s so absurd. I don’t expect communities to become non-toxic overnight so my best solution is just to remain very private, vague, and low-stress in topics on the internet, because it gets very ugly here and elsewhere
 
Last edited:
Oct 30, 2017
4,412
mod edit: don't link to racist twitter accounts

Some people in here are so quick to demand blood, huh. Back then during his crazy tweets I was not familiar with Etika and his situation, I thought at first he's just another troublemaker YouTuber and Twitch streamer. I didn't know stuff about his altercation with police, etc etc. That's why I posted that back then, for clarification.

For whatever reason did this person post on Twitter like that anyway? I assume he or she is a member here? At least before he blasted me like that he or she could have asked for clarification first.

Ah well :/
Damn.
 
Last edited by a moderator:

airbagged_

Member
Jan 21, 2019
1,300
Charleston, SC
mod edit: don't link to racist twitter accounts

Some people in here are so quick to demand blood, huh. Back then during his crazy tweets I was not familiar with Etika and his situation, I thought at first he's just another troublemaker YouTuber and Twitch streamer. I didn't know stuff about his altercation with police, etc etc. That's why I posted that back then, for clarification.

For whatever reason did this person post on Twitter like that anyway? I assume he or she is a member here? At least before he blasted me like that he or she could have asked for clarification first.

Ah well :/
Dude reposts TERFs, Trump memes, Keemstar etc. He’s doing it in bad faith
 
Last edited by a moderator:
Oct 27, 2017
6,376
Bandung Indonesia
Ah, so that Twitter account is problematic.

Still, it irks me that someone would actually do that. At least post here so I could give clarification instead of blasting people like that with people have no chance to respond.
 

airbagged_

Member
Jan 21, 2019
1,300
Charleston, SC
Doesn’t change the content of the tweets. It’s pretty fucking embarassing on Era’s part. We can be better.
I agree that we absolutely can. I was reading some of the posts before/after and having remorse/condolences and also being offended by something someone said aren't mutually exclusive. Hindsight is 20/20 and it's awful that it came to this for people to realize.

EDIT: I would even say while it's very very apparent that he was going through an episode, many people were assuming that "not enabling" him was the proper course of action rather than trying to analyze WHY it was happening. Someone put it very well in the "man blames racism on autism" thread that this was a pattern vs. just a random event.

EDIT #2: That account purposely posted that not to create a dialogue, but to just shit on ERA and give other places ammunition to paint the entire community as one that seeks bloodlust over problematic behavior no matter what.
 

HockeyBird

Member
Oct 27, 2017
3,539
Unfortunately Youtube has become a place of extremes where many people feel the need to take things to the next level. Etika even noted that he felt like he needed to find ways to keep his audience entertained. That's how we got Ekita the character, not Desmond, the real-life person making all that content. I don't condemn anyone for suspecting that his antics might be a joke. Let's be honest, we are not surprised when a Youtuber or Steamer does something stupid, inconsiderate, racist, or even illegal just to get an audience. Hell we even have a few examples now where some Youtubers are putting out controversial videos about Ekita's death just to get views. I knew Ekita was suffering from mental health problems because I followed his saga and character from near the beginning. But if you didn't know much about Etika, then yes I can easily see how it was all just another Youtuber doing something dumb to get attention.

What did Etika in were the "fans" who get pushing him to extremes regardless if they thought he was seriously in danger or just doing it all for a joke. When he first got his Youtube account removed, many fans handwaved it as all a master joke by their favorite entertainer and that those who thought he was in trouble were taking things too seriously. They memed him to keep having confrontations with police. To get onto Twitter to say weird stuff. They wanted to be entertained and it cost a young man his health and his life.
 

LostSkullKid

Member
Nov 27, 2017
1,446
I don't get it. What's the context here?
This guy puts out the same clickbait video every day where he pretends to call someone at 3 AM (usually a fictional character) and then pretends that the person he called has broken into his house and is trying to kill him or some shit. Every single video is practically an exact copy of each other besides swapping the name of who he's supposedly calling. This time, he decided to use Etika's name for his shitty clickbait.
 

Yerba_Sutra

Member
Oct 26, 2017
4,311
Appalachia
Y'all, let's not act like Etika wasn't getting shit on here well before his spiral happened. I recall most discussions on the guy pre-breakdown being filled with folks making sure everyone knew how annoying they found him, how they were sure he was faking for attention, etc. in their normal cynical way.

There are people who have a vested interest in destroying this place, because of its attempted progressive bent, and are more than happy to use a situation like this to nitpick posts and paint those posts as being representative of Era and progressivism on the whole, to paint both as evil.

So stop looking for singular out-groups to point fingers at and "blame" when shit happens. From tragedies to inconveniences. More often than not there are long chains of cause-and-effect with multiple junctures where things could have been done differently by different parties. And one of those parties is very likely going to include you.

Just stop.
 

Davy

Member
Aug 21, 2018
450
I did watch some of his content, it was fake as f**k but I know that was his gimmick.
What's really upsetting me in this day and age, is that if you're on social media and have a mental health problem, the combination of these two things are extremely dangerous. Your negative feelings reach their goal ten times as fast. Responses and public opinion can make you think your life can never be okay again.

I can't possibly know how much he was suffering, but I'm very afraid of the idea that without social media making everything so much worse for a lot of young people, he could have been saved.
 

Slushimi

Member
Oct 30, 2017
265
This is making me sad and depressed every time I see this thread or Etika’s name elsewhere, not only a life has been lost, we have lost one of the greatest entertainers and a incredible person. His hype was something to behold and would bring happiness to anyone watching him.
It still hurts me so much thinking how he's gone now. One of the best and genuine entertainer I know.
 

Thatonedice1

Member
Oct 27, 2017
1,981
Working on that also.
...

Did someone seriously put “F” on his memorial?

Can’t people fucking stop “memeing” for a day?
There are over a million signatures to actually get Etika buried at YouTube HQ just because he said so while clearly joking. Most of his "fanbase" don't see him as an actual human being but a funny man that needs a funny burial. I'm legit worried what's gonna happen when his family more then likely won't push for that.
 

Sjay1994

Member
Oct 25, 2017
4,141
There are over a million signatures to actually get Etika buried at YouTube HQ just because he said so while clearly joking. Most of his "fanbase" don't see him as an actual human being but a funny man that needs a funny burial. I'm legit worried what's gonna happen when his family more then likely won't push for that.
God, that and some of his fans making Smash memes of his death like “Etika makes a splash” is some of the most morbid shit I’ve seen.

Etika wasn’t a person to these people. Just a joke.
 

entremet

User requested ban
Banned
Oct 26, 2017
16,018
Guys, why do you link to trolling and offensive content? Don't signal boost these idiots.

The internet being what is, I'm sure you can find this stuff anytime someone passes. Ignore it.
 

Robotoboy

Member
Oct 7, 2018
231
Tulsa, OK
Yeah, no kidding. Not gonna lie...everyone's rush to be "good" and jump on a man needing help because he was saying offensive things irks me a lot. "We're here for you...but only if you behave well while having a suicidal crisis, otherwise we'll be quick to jump on you to show our moral superiority because, why, we would never say anything bad while suffering from mental illness because we are too strong for that!"

I feel terrible about this. Honestly, feel like I'm gonna quit on this place. This whole thing is a really sour note for me.
Essentially this. I know I don't feel comfortable talking about my mental illness here anymore... not a lot of places I do now that I think about it. The mentality is too common.
 

CrumbSnatcher

Member
Jan 12, 2018
269
So sad, Rest in Peace. Never heard of him, but read about the events, and the efforts to locate whereabouts to hopefully save him. My condolences to his friends and family.
 

alexi52

Member
Oct 28, 2017
4,847
The part that hit me the hardest about Etika's last video was his comment about never getting to finish Attack on Titan, I know it may seem like a dumb thing to focus on but I was suicidal I used to do the same thing, I tried to convince myself to live by telling myself "I can't die without finishing this show, anime, or video game", this whole situation just tragic, no one should have to die for people to take mental health more seriously, the signs for Etika were extremely clear yet people took it as a joke because of Internet culture.
 

Oheao

The Fallen
Oct 28, 2017
6,030
London, Ontario, Canada
Considering YouTube/Twitch don't have retirement benefits or anything like that, I think a lot of mid-tier streamers/content creators are going to run into depression when they have trouble re-entering the job market or struggling with finances.
 

Hucast

Member
Mar 25, 2019
2,001
I was banned during this whole thing and just wanna share my own thoughts on this.

This whole thing teared me up because to me he never seemed like a bad kid and was clear to me that the pressure got control over his life big time. It was clear when he started drinking more and more alcohol because he had to 'please' us

The biggest thing that probably hurt him the most I feel was his relationship with his ex, which he broke up himself. The thing is despite being broken up you don't just lose a certain attachment to someone. Social media being as it is, looking at their Twitter pages during it all shows a deliberate "hey look at me I've moved on and don't care about you" messages on them. It's what a song from John Mayer called as heartbreak warware. I'm sure this fucked him up as well with the social media thing. I know how it is..

Anyway his final sorry video really got to me. No more crazy funny etika out there to please the fans. He was genuine in this final video. He was himself. And it showed how articulate and intelligent this etika was behind the image he made of himself. Etika was a very sober and intelligent dude. To me that always shined through.

Etika was an innocent lad who wasn't himself anymore in the end because of influences. It's been said in this thread before but we should never just simply judge a book by it's cover in a human's case. We are waaay too complex for that. The outraging, piling on someone really needs to stop at this point and I hope the mod team will stand firm to prevent this in the future.

Etika should have been here with us today. I have been finding myself just saying out loud "why did you have to go man" and tearing up. I'm gonna miss the dude. Fuck man. RIP brother
 

LostSkullKid

Member
Nov 27, 2017
1,446

If this is true, he killed himself DAYS after putting out the "I'm Sorry" video. So, it's likely he saw the reaction the video got and had time to think over it and still went through with it. Man, this shit really is so fucking terrible.
 

Apeach

Member
Oct 27, 2017
2,510

If this is true, he killed himself DAYS after putting out the "I'm Sorry" video. So, it's likely he saw the reaction the video got and had time to think over it and still went through with it. Man, this shit really is so fucking terrible.
It makes me feel sick to think that the people shitting on him may have pushed him to go through with it. If he waited there was clearly some hesitance in his mind. There was some outpouring of support, but it can be hard to ignore the negative comments.