Yeah it happens occasionally, usually makes me cringe more than be offended, I guess because they represent such an insignificant physical threat to me. Never had a woman grab me though thankfully.
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Older women giving young men unsolicited compliments (See Staff Post)
- Thread starter Jokab
- Start date
OT question, can you experience your own BO? Reason being, two instances that jump to mind, were related to smell.
Two different co-workers complimented me and commented about it when they were close to me and it kinda threw me off, as I don't use perfume nor cologne and I go ham on unscented deodorant :P
Anyway, compliments make me uneasy, so I just sniffed my clothes and reached the conclusion it was probably the fabric softener or my cheap-ass Lion 2-in-1 shampoo/conditioner. "Oh yeah, it's probably x, you can get it at the home center... etc"
Just smile and move on.
EDIT: I'm sorry for sounding dismissive, didn't mean to brush aside a serious issue.
Two different co-workers complimented me and commented about it when they were close to me and it kinda threw me off, as I don't use perfume nor cologne and I go ham on unscented deodorant :P
Anyway, compliments make me uneasy, so I just sniffed my clothes and reached the conclusion it was probably the fabric softener or my cheap-ass Lion 2-in-1 shampoo/conditioner. "Oh yeah, it's probably x, you can get it at the home center... etc"
Just smile and move on.
EDIT: I'm sorry for sounding dismissive, didn't mean to brush aside a serious issue.
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An older woman was trying it on me at a Bat For Lashes gig years ago. It was initially just conversation but a bit into the gig she grabbed my arse.
It was not a sexy time. It was an alarming time.
It was not a sexy time. It was an alarming time.
Good to see people dismissing sexual harassment in threads about obvious sexual harassment goes both ways! (this is sarcasm, it is not good to see).
This is sexual harassment, just the same as if it was a man doing it. The problem is, people at large are like these commenters and think any attention is good attention. In what fucking world is being harassed to the point where you feel uncomfortable and embarrassed something to brag about? Fucking hell. I'm sorry that this has happened to you, OP. I know how hard it is to feel safe or "justified" in reporting that kind of behavior.
This is sexual harassment, just the same as if it was a man doing it. The problem is, people at large are like these commenters and think any attention is good attention. In what fucking world is being harassed to the point where you feel uncomfortable and embarrassed something to brag about? Fucking hell. I'm sorry that this has happened to you, OP. I know how hard it is to feel safe or "justified" in reporting that kind of behavior.
Happened to me a small number of times in the past. Caught me off guard and I never saw the women again but I'd definitely speak up if it was more regular.
That actually happened with me too with a nurse (and she wasn't that old).
You have such a nice ass. (my ass was bare-naked and with a giant hole)
(next day)
Oh its the guy with the nice ass
I would be a blatant liar if I said I didn't enjoy it. But this doesnt really happen outside of medical facilities.
You have such a nice ass. (my ass was bare-naked and with a giant hole)
(next day)
Oh its the guy with the nice ass
I would be a blatant liar if I said I didn't enjoy it. But this doesnt really happen outside of medical facilities.
I get this all the time. Sometimes, it's flattering, sometimes it's a tired nuisance. Call it out if it makes you uncomfortable. The way you feel is what's important m
Yeah, some of the replies in this thread reek of toxic masculinity. Like, you can feel however you want when that happens to you but dismissing it when someone feels unconfortable is awful.
personally i love it, but its never happened to me in a way that's made me uncomfortable or was explicitly unprofessional (there was a woman who liked to play with my hair when we were on post at work in the past) so im probably not the person to take an opinion from. also, for what it's worth, over the past maybe decade and a half ive gotten a disproportionate amount of compliments and sexual attention from older women (ive been told i look very young for my age), so its kind of a thing i guess. but if you are 1) not enjoying the attention 2) it is making you uncomfortable and 3) are certainly encouraging or soliciting it, then its not okay for it to be happening to you and if you feel empowered enough to, definitely say something.
incidentally, some of the very best lovers ive had were older women encountered in these scenarios, so obviously i feel differently about this on a fundamental level.
Brah. What in the fuck.
Maybe it's just me but I'd be fucking uncomfortable if a nurse commented on my bare naked ass in a hospital setting. I'm also assuming the hole was an injury or something else? Like that would be the one place I wouldn't ever want a compliment about my body.
I mean being touched on my thigh or near my crotch is also a no cause I just don't like being touched by men or women at all but anyway... Was she an injury fetishist or something? I don't understand...
I assume he was talking about hospital gowns with open backs, hence the exposed backside. EDIT: Maybe not, WTF indeed.
Yes, it's inappropriate. I think some people do it because as they get older they feel an urge to insist that they're still alive and just as hungry and ready for action as they were in their now-fading youth. And that feeling kind of elbows aside their social inhibitions so they can be self-indulgent when they run into desirable younger men.
Aging sucks.
Anyway, you obviously can't apply this armchair analysis to all or even most cases. But loss of youth and the sense of creeping closer to death can sure do a number on the human mind.
Aging sucks.
Anyway, you obviously can't apply this armchair analysis to all or even most cases. But loss of youth and the sense of creeping closer to death can sure do a number on the human mind.
It was after my pilonidal cyst surgery, I had to change my dressings regularly and my butt had to be bare-naked.
Had some random chick grab my long curly hair from the backseat of a shared taxi. That was awkward but I didn't do anything because my stop was 10 seconds away. I was a bit taken aback that some stranger would touch your hair like that.
While not a stranger, I did appreciate my doctor telling me I looked good. She was a bit older, in her 30s-40s. I was getting treated for acne with acutane and I was also doing construction/landscaping in order to lose some weight. 6 months later when I took off my shirt, she just straight up said that I looked good and looked like a man now. A bit of a diss with the man part but I appreciated the compliment overall lol
While not a stranger, I did appreciate my doctor telling me I looked good. She was a bit older, in her 30s-40s. I was getting treated for acne with acutane and I was also doing construction/landscaping in order to lose some weight. 6 months later when I took off my shirt, she just straight up said that I looked good and looked like a man now. A bit of a diss with the man part but I appreciated the compliment overall lol
Literally had that happen during a physical (inappropriate comments). Made the rest of the examination incredibly uncomfortable.
I used to get this from older men and women in my late teens and early twenties. I took it as a compliment but it was unsettling because at the time I believed I was spectacularly ugly.
Ha... that happens a few times each year. If i'm not in a relationship i sometimes would go with it and see where it ends (had some fun times for sure) but as a man i'm almost always not in a position where i can't just walk away. So yeah it can be fun if you're up to it but if you don't like it they should stop when you tell them to.
A few months back I was standing in the parking lot of a retail store when a beat up late model sedan pulled up to a dumpster about 20 feet away from where I was. An old woman who must have been over 70 stepped out and started going rooting through the garbage. I looked away so she wouldn't think I was staring at her. After a very long minute she turned my way and told me I was "looking real good right now". Not knowing how to respond I just smiled. As far as 70+ year old dumpster divers go she was probably on the lower end of the good looks spectrum and even had a hunchback but I still somehow left feeling better about myself.
I suppose I don't mind it, although touching might be an issue.
I suppose I don't mind it, although touching might be an issue.
This kinda stuff only happened to me in high school from girls my age. I got my ass grabbed by one while doing a presentation once and no one said anything. It was very uncomfortable.
I have a new coworker (an older woman) who keeps bringing up how handsome she thinks I am. It's pretty awkward.
I came back from vacation and she said something like the "average handsomeness in our department fell so much while you were gone"
This woman is in her 40s, married, and has kids. I'm in my 20s. I just laugh it off. If it's just a one off thing, then no big deal. But the frequency of her saying these comments is a little much for me.
I came back from vacation and she said something like the "average handsomeness in our department fell so much while you were gone"
This woman is in her 40s, married, and has kids. I'm in my 20s. I just laugh it off. If it's just a one off thing, then no big deal. But the frequency of her saying these comments is a little much for me.
Back when I was 18 this waitress was flirting with me when I was at a diner with my family. She was in her 40s and kept saying how handsome I was and that if she were my age she'd take me to her room and really let me have it. This flirting never stopped. I was uncomfortable and embarrassed mostly because of the amused looks I was getting from my family and some other diners.
I'm fairly comfortable with flirting and touching, but yes some old folks seem to just not get the fucking memo. Makes me wonder what kind of person they were when younger.
Don't worry OP it's not a problem, just deal with it. How lucky you are.
Oof. This thread is embarrassing. The double standard is gross.
Oof. This thread is embarrassing. The double standard is gross.
Happened to me a bunch of times and I hate it. Worst is when you are sitting in an empty bus and chilling in a double seat only to have an old woman sit in the other seat for reasons she thinks I am not noticing.
Looks like some of them are getting the hammer so it's nice to know there's some consistency.
When I first started going to pubs at 15 there were some definitely some issues. I still remember a random woman just grabbing my junk as she walked past me and then laughing with her gaggle of friends. Also distinctly remember a woman leaning over real close and smelling my friends hair and then saying "Now I understand why some mother's want to fuck their sons". So creepy.
Yeah that shit happened over 20 years ago and it is still seared in my brain.