I was fired from my job yesterday, the official reason being that they felt I had not improved in my performance in the last couple of months. I've racked my brain trying to figure out where I was lacking as far as work output goes, and I can't think of anything that comes to mind: I barely had any tasks to begin with, which is why I'm partly glad to be rid of that job, but whenever I was tasked to do something I always made sure I did it correctly and quickly.
I have a suspicion that it was my possible social issues that led to the final decision. I was informed by a colleague that he had been getting e-mails from bailiffs that I've had to interact with complaining about my "attitude" and "confrontational" way of speaking. I always felt that I would speak to fellow employees with complete respect and merely reiterating the policies that were spoken to me. If anything, they were the ones who displayed more of an attitude to me.
But this isn't the first time I've been accused of this. Friends, family, other colleagues from other jobs...every so often I get accused of displaying an unfriendly, often angry attitude, and I'm always surprised by what they're saying as I never felt I was being particularly hostile or annoyed to anyone. One recent example of this that particularly hurt me was when my friends pulled me over a year ago and brought up this issue. They would mention how things that I said that I had perceived as a joke (dumb guy stuff like "I'll kick your ass dude!") was taken as legitimately hostile, mainly because of the delivery of my voice.
That's another thing that I'm constantly told: I have a very loud voice. Even when I try very hard to control how I speak, I keep getting told that I'm too loud or sound too angry. It's really frustrating because I honestly don't hear it, but I do acknowledge that because of my shy nature that I tend to speak more monotone and unfriendly than I earnestly intend.
I'm not sure whether or not this played a factor in losing my job, but this continues to be something that comes up in my life and I really want to try and control it. I don't want to make this mistake again with my next job, and I don't want to be seen as the bad guy when I'm arguing with family or other people because I'm yelling way louder than I need to in order to get my point across. I have anxiety issues, so I don't know how much of that plays a part in my social shortcomings, but nevertheless, I want to try and control them. I don't like people in general, and I do get annoyed by petty things, but I really try not to make these frustrations visible to the other person.
Edit: Another common criticism I get is that I "look angry", when in fact I'm just being neutral. The problem is I'm a very big guy, so having a non-smiling face can be intimidating, I'm aware. I just don't have it in me to "fake" a smile, though. Perhaps I'm a bit too honest with my display, but that's another thing I'm going to have to fix.
Recommend anything you can, from self help books (I've heard "Making Friends and Influencing People" come up a few times, wondering if that still holds up) to practice sessions with classes and especially any YouTube videos that I can watch while I do my other duties on my iPad or other device.
I have a suspicion that it was my possible social issues that led to the final decision. I was informed by a colleague that he had been getting e-mails from bailiffs that I've had to interact with complaining about my "attitude" and "confrontational" way of speaking. I always felt that I would speak to fellow employees with complete respect and merely reiterating the policies that were spoken to me. If anything, they were the ones who displayed more of an attitude to me.
But this isn't the first time I've been accused of this. Friends, family, other colleagues from other jobs...every so often I get accused of displaying an unfriendly, often angry attitude, and I'm always surprised by what they're saying as I never felt I was being particularly hostile or annoyed to anyone. One recent example of this that particularly hurt me was when my friends pulled me over a year ago and brought up this issue. They would mention how things that I said that I had perceived as a joke (dumb guy stuff like "I'll kick your ass dude!") was taken as legitimately hostile, mainly because of the delivery of my voice.
That's another thing that I'm constantly told: I have a very loud voice. Even when I try very hard to control how I speak, I keep getting told that I'm too loud or sound too angry. It's really frustrating because I honestly don't hear it, but I do acknowledge that because of my shy nature that I tend to speak more monotone and unfriendly than I earnestly intend.
I'm not sure whether or not this played a factor in losing my job, but this continues to be something that comes up in my life and I really want to try and control it. I don't want to make this mistake again with my next job, and I don't want to be seen as the bad guy when I'm arguing with family or other people because I'm yelling way louder than I need to in order to get my point across. I have anxiety issues, so I don't know how much of that plays a part in my social shortcomings, but nevertheless, I want to try and control them. I don't like people in general, and I do get annoyed by petty things, but I really try not to make these frustrations visible to the other person.
Edit: Another common criticism I get is that I "look angry", when in fact I'm just being neutral. The problem is I'm a very big guy, so having a non-smiling face can be intimidating, I'm aware. I just don't have it in me to "fake" a smile, though. Perhaps I'm a bit too honest with my display, but that's another thing I'm going to have to fix.
Recommend anything you can, from self help books (I've heard "Making Friends and Influencing People" come up a few times, wondering if that still holds up) to practice sessions with classes and especially any YouTube videos that I can watch while I do my other duties on my iPad or other device.
Last edited:
