Alrighty, I'm 7 hours into my first game of EU4 and have reached 11 November 1445. Playing normal iron man mode, slowest speed and I've made every pop up pause the game, taking it nice and slow. Recap:
I'm Hisn Kayfa, which was naturally a terrible choice because I feel like I'm playing on Brutal Difficulty. I'm not even making 1 ducat a month. Naturally I mothballed my single fort, and lowered army maintenance. I barely have any expenses at all really. I put some points into my single province to get out of the red financially. I've completed a few missions, like reaching my force limit. I have a quaint 6k army just chilling out with low morale.
The Ottomans and Mamluks don't really have time for me. The Ottomans smile and nod at my diplomat's jokes, but they have a lot on their minds these days, too much to take me seriously. I have at least allied with a minor nation Dulkadir, who I have married royally too. I believe they are allied with the Ottomans, so hopefully I can drag them both to my defence once my large neighbour Aq Qoyunlu decides to pounce on me. They have an 8k army licking their lips in anticipation. Qara Qoyunlu to my right don't like me either, but are busy with their own affairs. Sometimes being a gnat on the world stage has its advantages.
But I've decided to set my monarch focus to military +2, and am racing to accrue enough points to raise my military tech before Aq Qoyunlu declare war on me. I hope to put up a fight before the end comes. I can afford no advisors to placate me during these dark days, my missionary keeps me company as we play chess in the courtyard. Considering our single province is united in our religious faith, he has time on his hands. Our merchants fumble about the continent trying to make sense of the mechanics of trade. I've even joined a trade league with Genoa, though I don't expect them to sail thousands of miles to my rescue.
I have another diplomat up north, improving relations with Imeriti, a nation that are more fond of me than my neighbours. With two alliances, I could have enough manpower to beat back my hungry enemy. The Imeriti are infidels, but I am a pragmatic sheikh. I will do whatever it takes to survive, and to see Saladin's Ayyubid dynasty rise from the ashes.
Last night my concubine woke me from vivid dreams. She claims I've been receiving commands from either God or a devil, and that I murmured strange words in my sleep. Words like "cognizant", "paradox" and "achievement" and "upcoming patch".
I had her flogged and banished from the realm.