ParentERA |OT| What To Expect When You’re Not Sleeping

RDreamer

Member
Oct 25, 2017
7,295
Development is so weird and different between babies. You can’t help but be a bit paranoid. A few months behind feels like a huge deal but when you think about it, it’s really nothing in the grand scheme of things. But you worry.

Our little one is pretty spot on physically but he hasn’t said squat yet at 13 months. He babbles and he’s done a mamamamamama or dadadadada, but we’re positive there’s zero correlation with us as people and him saying it. Seems he might be trying to say dog or cat but the closest was maybe gog at some point? Just like once. Basically nothing we would call words or speech patterns yet. Always worry a bit when I hear people talk about their like 9 month old speaking. My nephew regressed a ton though and isn’t saying much at over 2 years old. Well lately he’s saying a bunch but it’s exclusively the first syllable of Pokémon and super heroes.
 

Chopchop

Member
Oct 25, 2017
6,190
So basically, from the time you get pregnant through birth and development when does the worrying stop exactly?😅

We were worried we couldn’t get pregnant, then we had a miscarriage and were worried about more miscarriages.Then we were worried about chromosomal abnormalities, then we were worried about her not breast feeding well... now we’re in the “why hasn’t she rolled over?” stage.

Kids, I swear... oh to not be worried about stuff again.

For what it’s worth, I had a niece that never learned to crawl, she just scootched on her butt everywhere till she figured out walking ...
Ugh, the worrying is awful. It's always one thing and then the next.

Why isn't he learning to roll over?

Why isn't he sitting up?

Why isn't he learning to crawl?

Why isn't he walking?

Why isn't he learning to do this?

Why isn't he eating? Is he teething?

Fucking teething. I swear that I'm going to wonder if my kid's fussing is teething even when he's 30. He'll be stressed about his fucking taxes, and I'll be like "is he upset because he's teething?"
 

lt519

Member
Oct 25, 2017
3,416
Super hard with twins to not directly compare them too. Our girl is like 6 weeks behind the boy in gross motor skills but she has him trumped by like 6 weeks on fine motor skills. She's social, he isn't. He drags a leg, she doesn't. Etc, etc. You'll drive yourself nuts if you aren't careful.
 

Anno

Member
Oct 25, 2017
2,581
Columbus, Ohio
I just badly underestimate my daughter way more often than I should because she’s only 17 months old. Today she apparently stole her grandmas car keys sometime in the morning. When grandma went to leave and couldn’t find her keys we looked all over to no avail. Then I just asked Josie where she put them and she led us over to the correct corner of the house we hadn’t checked in yet.
 
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Nephtes

Member
Oct 27, 2017
1,390
I just badly underestimate my daughter way more often than I should because she’s only 17 months old. Today she apparently stole her grandmas car keys sometime in the morning. When grandma went to leave and couldn’t find her keys we looked all over to no avail. Then I just asked Josie where she put them and she led us over to the correct corner of the house we hadn’t checked in yet.
been playing Untitled Goose Game near your kid huh?
 
Oct 27, 2017
2,569
My 16/17 week old son is going through a horrible phase at the moment. Just angry and cranky aaaaalllllll the time about absolutely everything. Can't get him to sleep at night, can't get him to nap properly, can't get him to stop crying when he starts. The only time he's not losing his shit is when he's being fed. It's a real drain :(

Hope he comes through it sooner rather than later.
 

emag

Member
Oct 26, 2017
5,373
My four year old has always trouble with anger management (particularly when tired), but yesterday was a wake up call: throwing magna tiles and growling in pre-kindergarten. (Also, claiming the teacher "was not telling the truth about throwing magna tiles.")

We're going to have to figure this out. As an only child, we're really lenient/indulgent with our "baby" at home. Any general tips on discipline at this age?
 

Hamrub

Member
Oct 27, 2017
484
Glasgow
Found my kids (2 and nearly 4) on the kitchen floor eating handfuls of brown sugar from a packet. I only turned my back for a minute. It was 5AM. This is going to be a long day.
 

Nephtes

Member
Oct 27, 2017
1,390
We did it!
We flew from Pensacola Florida to Atlanta and then from Atlanta to Louisville with a 4 month old and she only cried briefly once!
Even though we were right next to the engine and everything!
Even got some Netflix binging in with The Good Place.

We just did our best to keep her awake all day so when we got on the plane, she was so tired she passed right out, and we got lots of accolades for having such a good baby.
Hahaha, if they only knew...
 

Chopchop

Member
Oct 25, 2017
6,190
My four year old has always trouble with anger management (particularly when tired), but yesterday was a wake up call: throwing magna tiles and growling in pre-kindergarten. (Also, claiming the teacher "was not telling the truth about throwing magna tiles.")

We're going to have to figure this out. As an only child, we're really lenient/indulgent with our "baby" at home. Any general tips on discipline at this age?
It sounds like you may be too lenient on the kid, which leads to the kid not knowing how to handle being turned town, which can lead to huge tantrums. You may be lenient on your kid, but the teacher may be trying to enforce more order on the kid at school, which may be running counter to the treatment the kid gets at home.

I think you may need to enforce more rules on your kid, but explain to him why he has to behave in a certain way. He may not fully understand those explanations, but you need to try to explain why some things are bad. Trying to explain a rule is better than just enforcing it strictly without giving a reason why.

In child psychology there's a model that splits parenting styles into four categories, based on how strict the parent is, and how responsive the parent is to the kid's feedback when enforcing those rules. There's an article about it here: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-race-good-health/201802/parenting-effects-children-what-is-your-parenting-style

The short of it is that firmly enforcing rules while explaining to the kid why the rules exist and listening to the kid's feedback is the "best" way to parent, though it's obviously the hardest and most demanding on the part of the parent. The idea is that if you need to punish the kid for being bad, you need to try to make sure that the kid understands why what he did was wrong, and not let the rules speak for themselves. That lets the kid learn the underlying reasons behind why something is bad (which hopefully leads to self-governing behavior) instead of learning to not do something because he's learned that he'll be punished if caught.

Another key point is to avoid using power assertions as much as possible when enforcing rules. Power assertions are when a parent puts their foot down and forces the kid to do something by either raising their voice or physically pulling the kid away from something. While obviously things like that may have to be done occasionally in emergencies, power assertions should be avoided whenever possible because it takes agency away from the kid. The kid is forced to obey and has no say in the situation in a power assertion, and the kid doesn't understand why he's being punished. It can harm their self-esteem and willingness to try new things if it happens too often. It leads back to why it's important to try to explain why a rule exists instead of taking a "do as I say because I said so" sort of approach.
 

bytesized

Member
Oct 27, 2017
1,929
Amsterdam
Hi guys. I'm almost 100% sure our 20 month old son has some level of autism and I'm feeling very bad about it. Anybody here going through it at the moment? Have they seen improvement in their kids? Is 20 month still not too late to do something about it?

I regret so much not following my intuition from the beginning because I was already suspicious months ago but I thought to myself it could just be the language barrier since we are a two language household living in a country with a different language from ours.

Anyway, thanks in advance.
 

GiJose

Member
Oct 25, 2017
127
Hi guys. I'm almost 100% sure our 20 month old son has some level of autism and I'm feeling very bad about it. Anybody here going through it at the moment? Have they seen improvement in their kids? Is 20 month still not too late to do something about it?

I regret so much not following my intuition from the beginning because I was already suspicious months ago but I thought to myself it could just be the language barrier since we are a two language household living in a country with a different language from ours.

Anyway, thanks in advance.
what does your pediatrician say?

What sorts of things are making you worried?
 
Oct 27, 2017
2,569
Hi guys. I'm almost 100% sure our 20 month old son has some level of autism and I'm feeling very bad about it. Anybody here going through it at the moment? Have they seen improvement in their kids? Is 20 month still not too late to do something about it?

I regret so much not following my intuition from the beginning because I was already suspicious months ago but I thought to myself it could just be the language barrier since we are a two language household living in a country with a different language from ours.

Anyway, thanks in advance.
Have you gone to see a doctor? Diagnosing this yourself, assuming you aren't a medical professional, seems like a terrible idea. What is making you think this?
 

bytesized

Member
Oct 27, 2017
1,929
Amsterdam
what does your pediatrician say?

What sorts of things are making you worried?
Have you gone to see a doctor? Diagnosing this yourself, assuming you aren't a medical professional, seems like a terrible idea. What is making you think this?
We're definitely seeking a diagnosis asap but we've been warned by a specialist that saw some videos of our kid and noticed a lot of signs. After that we made an mchat test and it resulted in a moderate score with the indication to seek medical advise which is what we'll be doing asap, of course.

Basically he doesn't respond to his name (although this had been improving somehow as if late, maybe responds 1 out of 10 times), doesn't point to things, doesn't follow simple commands, avoids eye contact... I always thought it was a personality thing but it seems like too many coincidences to me. Wish I am proven wrong, naturally.
 

GiJose

Member
Oct 25, 2017
127
We're definitely seeking a diagnosis asap but we've been warned by a specialist that saw some videos of our kid and noticed a lot of signs. After that we made an mchat test and it resulted in a moderate score with the indication to seek medical advise which is what we'll be doing asap, of course.

Basically he doesn't respond to his name (although this had been improving somehow as if late, maybe responds 1 out of 10 times), doesn't point to things, doesn't follow simple commands, avoids eye contact... I always thought it was a personality thing but it seems like too many coincidences to me. Wish I am proven wrong, naturally.
yeah, seek a diagnosis, at least for some clarity

do you live in the US? If not, ignore this! It wouldn't be a bad idea to initiate an early intervention referral now - it's parent driven so you would contact your local early intervention center and request and evaluation. It can be a process, so it never hurts to get the ball rolling.
 

Chopchop

Member
Oct 25, 2017
6,190
We're definitely seeking a diagnosis asap but we've been warned by a specialist that saw some videos of our kid and noticed a lot of signs. After that we made an mchat test and it resulted in a moderate score with the indication to seek medical advise which is what we'll be doing asap, of course.

Basically he doesn't respond to his name (although this had been improving somehow as if late, maybe responds 1 out of 10 times), doesn't point to things, doesn't follow simple commands, avoids eye contact... I always thought it was a personality thing but it seems like too many coincidences to me. Wish I am proven wrong, naturally.
Hopefully things go well, but at least you're already seeing a specialist, who will point you in the right direction regardless of what they find.

For what it's worth, 20 months is most definitely not too late. In fact, usually diagnoses along these lines can't be done definitively one way or the other until around 2 years old anyway.
 

Monkeylord

Member
Nov 8, 2017
66
UK
Has anyone got any good methods of preventing shoe removal? Our youngest (1.5yo) is constantly taking off his shoes and slippers. We've almost lost shoes when out and about more times than I can count because he undoes the velcro, pulls them off and then just casually tosses them over the side of his pushchair as we're wandering down the street.
 

Anno

Member
Oct 25, 2017
2,581
Columbus, Ohio
The last few weeks my daughter has started saying really long sentences of babble while she’s reading or playing with something. But recently she’s started saying momma/dada in the middle of them, leaving me to wonder what bad things she’s saying about me.