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Phantom Diarrhea?

What does it mean?

  • Some sort of rare medical condition?

    Votes: 4 8.5%

  • A nightmare

    Votes: 5 10.6%

  • I am already dead

    Votes: 18 38.3%

  • Fucking Mucus, how does it work?

    Votes: 14 29.8%

  • Taco Bell induced

    Votes: 6 12.8%
  • Total voters
    47
Clefargle

Clefargle

One Winged Slayer
Member
Oct 25, 2017
11,568
Limburg
Hey Era,

After a few days of eating badly (a holiday tradition), today my gut has had enough. I rushed to the restroom and was informed by my ass that I would be experiencing a hot messy diarrhea.

Well, it occurred and then I went to clean myself, and the strangest thing happened. I wiped once, and then the second time, the paper came back spotlessly clean.

Utterly baffled, I continued wiping convinced that I was somehow missing the intended target. It just seemed too good to be true. So I kept wiping and unbelievably, I was clean after the first wipe.

what the shit happened? I just wasted half a roll of TP in disbelief, this shit defies logic and human anatomy. All of my experience had led me to believe that I was in for a messy cleanup and I just can’t process how this could have even occurred.

Is this some sort of rare medical condition? Is this a nightmare? Am I already dead?

discuss
 
StopMakingSense

StopMakingSense

Member
Oct 25, 2017
6,837
Depending on how it can go, you might have ended up with a very mucousy shit. Which can be similar to diarrhea on the way out but leaves a lot less mess.
 
OP
OP
Clefargle

Clefargle

One Winged Slayer
Member
Oct 25, 2017
11,568
Limburg

Deleted member 11985

User requested account closure
Banned
Oct 27, 2017
4,168
This means that you properly hydrate yourself. This is what you should be aiming for whenever you have diarrhea. You want it to be mostly pure water so that it's like a natural bidet.
 
HeySeuss

HeySeuss

Avenger
Oct 25, 2017
5,967
Ohio
I currently have diarrhea in a walmart bathroom. I was waiting on the stall to open and it almost squeezed out in my pants. I thought about using the urinal but as luck would have it, the stall opened just in time.

I had taco bell for the first time in about 2 years less than an hour ago. Probably just a coincidence

Pretty sure I will need to wipe more than once.
 
Durden

Durden

Avenger
Oct 25, 2017
7,002
Dude nice! Congrats on the clean diarrhea homie! That shit sounds hype, I know I’d be hype. Sucks about the wasted TP though, but hey you didn’t know.

Keep pushing your boundaries. It’s most likely a cue from your body to go even further beyond, a gift if you will. Gorge it more bro, get it.


HeySeuss said:
I currently have diarrhea in a walmart bathroom. I was waiting on the stall to open and it almost squeezed out in my pants. I thought about using the urinal but as luck would have it, the stall opened just in time.

I had taco bell for the first time in about 2 years less than an hour ago. Probably just a coincidence

Pretty sure I will need to wipe more than once.
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Keep us posted. Walmart diarrhea will fuck you up.
 
olag

olag

Member
Oct 28, 2017
1,634
Mucus shits.....its fairly typical due to eating badly but sometimes its not a good sign. I would definitely monitor and if it happens consistently go see your doctor.
 
OP
OP
Clefargle

Clefargle

One Winged Slayer
Member
Oct 25, 2017
11,568
Limburg
HeySeuss said:
I had taco bell for the first time in about 2 years less than an hour ago. Probably just a coincidence
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OMG

I literally had Taco Bell about 10 minutes before the event. I thought it was too Soon to have been a factor but now I’m not so sure. Thanks for contributing info, take care in that Walmart stall bud
 
Ashlette

Ashlette

Member
Oct 28, 2017
2,406
Your large intestine loops around your gut. I am guessing your elimination dropped from one part to another quickly enough to trick your body into thinking it was "time".
 
OP
OP
Clefargle

Clefargle

One Winged Slayer
Member
Oct 25, 2017
11,568
Limburg
Ashlette said:
Your large intestine loops around your gut. I am guessing your elimination dropped from one part to another quickly enough to trick your body into thinking it was "time".
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oh I think you’re misunderstanding. There was definitely an “evacuation of elimination”, but afterwards, there was nearly zero mess left to clean.
 
BlackGoku03

BlackGoku03

Member
Oct 25, 2017
4,962
You know, this thread reminded me of a thought I had but didn't know if I should tell/ask anyone.

So in Star Trek, they could energize babies out of the mother's womb. Could they not do the same thing when you gotta shit?
 
PJV3

PJV3

Member
Oct 25, 2017
13,976
London
BlackGoku03 said:
You know, this thread reminded me of a thought I had but didn't know if I should tell/ask anyone.

So in Star Trek, they could energize babies out of the mother's womb. Could they not do the same thing when you gotta shit?
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Is this the futuristic version of photocopying your arse?
Or are you thinking actual lavatory transporter pods?
 
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