Pitchfork on Greta Van Fleet: "they’re more of an algorithmic fever dream than an actual rock band"

[jett]

Basically, if you don't know who this band, they're basically a Led Zeppelin ripoff/glorified cover band. This review was shared elsewhere, but I had to make a thread for it. I just loves me an unabashedly scathing review, and it succinctly describes why these people suck.

https://pitchfork.com/reviews/albums/greta-van-fleet-anthem-of-the-peaceful-army/

Greta Van Fleet sound like they did weed exactly once, called the cops, and tried to record a Led Zeppelin album before they arrested themselves. The poor kids from Frankenmuth, Michigan don't even realize they're more of an algorithmic fever dream than an actual rock band. While they're selling out shows all over the world, somewhere in a boardroom, a half-dozen people are figuring out just how, exactly, Jimmy Page and Robert Plant are supposed to fit into the SUV with the rest of the Greta Van Fleet boys on "Carpool Karaoke."

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Just look at this photo: Brothers Jake and Sam Kiszka, on guitar and bass, are both wearing hippie costumes they 3D-printed off the internet. The singer, the wretched and caterwauling third brother, Josh, is in dangly feather earrings and vinyl pants, like he was dressed by a problematic Santa Fe palm-reader with a gift certificate to Chico's. It's a costume—Greta Van Fleet is all costume. And if things that look like another thing is your thing, get ready to throw your lighters up for a band whose guiding principle seems to be reading the worst Grand Funk Railroad songs as if they were a religious text.

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They are a new kind of vampiric band who's there to catch the runoff of original classic rock using streaming services' data-driven business model. Greta Van Fleet exist to be swallowed into the algorithm's churn and rack up plays, of which they already have hundreds of millions.

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So why should Greta Van Fleet be the ones signed to Republic and William Morris, because they don't have bald spots yet? Tons of people in those cover bands play their instruments better than Greta Van Fleet, who are, currently, proficient at best. No one in this band offers anything in the way of personality that doesn't sound like your average YouTube tutorial for a Jimmy Page-type pentatonic solo or a John Bonham-type shuffle.

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That's funny, but it's not supposed to be funny, because Greta Van Fleet do not possess self-awareness—at all. When asked about a characteristically ugh lyric ("All my brothers who stand up/For the peace of the land"), Jake responded, in part, "I guess it's subject to interpretation. But I think the initial idea with that was that, as brothers, we stand for the peace of land. And that was for the good of the Earth, and for man." Ignoring that this is basically a gag in Spinal Tap, a much better answer that would speak to the spirit of the music they are trying to capture would be: "I don't know, who gives a shit."

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The streaming/algorithm section in the review is interesting, and we might yet see even more bands of this type, trying to a catch a cheapo hit of nostalgia.

 

['3y Kingdom]

You weren't Fleet enough in posting this.

 

[jett]

You weren't Fleet enough in posting this.

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damn

Close it down mods.

 

[WaffleTaco]

Pitchfork belongs in the trash. They are highly contrarian and have a stick so far up their own ass it's in their brain.

I don't agree with them on this and I think they are doing this for clicks.

 

[Jam]

https://www.resetera.com/threads/pi...ssal-of-greta-van-fleets-new-lp-1-6-10.76493/

 

[Snormy]

This thread is a duplicate, please direct conversation to
https://www.resetera.com/threads/pi...ssal-of-greta-van-fleets-new-lp-1-6-10.76493/