Question about the word ‘Incel’

[TinTuba47]

Lately I've been reading up on incels, and while I absolutely think that a lot of the gross misogyny from some of their online communities is appalling, I wonder about the term itself.

obviously the term is short for 'involuntarily celibate', which makes me wonder why every time i see the term used by 'woke' people it's used as a pegorative.

the term 'involuntarily celibate' can apply to a lot of people. True, a portion of them are misguided and entitled creeps, but why about those folks who just can't get laid due to being awkward or ugly or whatever, and don't feel like they are owed anything by the world around them. No compassion for them? Is there a non-pejorative term for those types?

kinda new to discovering this whole world and just curious.

(note: I'm not an Incel by any definition)

 

[HammerFace]

It's a term they whole heartedly embrace and iirc they came up with it themselves. There was literally a subreddit called r/incel. It was disgusting in there

 

[sphagnum]

They use it for themselves.

 

[TinTuba47]

It's a term they whole heartedly embrace and iirc they came up with it themselves. There was literally a subreddit called r/incel. It was disgusting in there

Click to shrink...

yeah in my studies I heard about that subreddit and wanted to check it out but then found out it was deleted a couple months ago. Sounded pretty gross

 

[Platy]

having a hard time with the opposite (or same) sex does not make you a celibate.

 

[ninnanuam]

Apparently it was coined a long time ago in more of a "community self help" way.

I think there was good Reply All episode on the origins and they interviewed the woman who started the original group.

Yup the episode was uploaded in October 18. Give it a listen.

 

[Distantmantra]

Incel as a term was co-opted by them, it's origins are slightly different. There's an episode of Reply All that talks about it.

 

[Lundren]

They chose it for themselves.

Unfortunately, the term is changing and morphing into something else, online. It happens with words all the time, but it seems to be happening faster with this one.

 

[TinTuba47]

Apparently it was coined a long time ago in more of a "community self help" way.

I think there was good Reply All episode on the origins and they interviewed the woman who started the original group.

Click to shrink...

It was started by a woman? I had no idea

 

[Coyote Zamora]

They use it to paint themselves as victims, I truly believe there is no such thing as involuntary celibacy. If you can't find a partner at some point the problem is you

 

[Conciliator]

yeah, basically

-"Incel" is a self-identification that a certain community came up with for themselves

-Despite it's literal wording, it describes a mindset more than anything. I don't think currently not having sex but wanting to in and of itself makes you an "incel."

 

[Distantmantra]

It was started by a woman? I had no idea

Click to shrink...

https://gimletmedia.com/amp/shows/reply-all/76h59o

It's a good listen.

 

[TinTuba47]

https://gimletmedia.com/amp/shows/reply-all/76h59o

It's a good listen.

Click to shrink...

I'll check it out, thanks

 

[Finale Fireworker]

You aren't an "incel" because you want to have sex but aren't. You're an incel because you're a sociopathic misogynist who believes you are literally owed sex.

Incels are are not sad guys who could not get a date. You can be a sad guy who can't get a date who isn't a violent sexist cretin. Don't try humanize sociopathic misogyny. This is a slippery trap.

Being sad, or lonely, or having trouble connecting with others, is not what makes you an incel. None of these things are exclusive to men, either. These are normal traits that normal people exhibit regardless of gender. But this is not the root of incels. The root of incels is hatred of women.

Do not be fooled in to thinking otherwise.

 

[HammerFace]

yeah in my studies I heard about that subreddit and wanted to check it out but then found out it was deleted a couple months ago. Sounded pretty gross

Click to shrink...

• Regular cat fishing women with pictures of "hot guys" but still espousing misogyny to prove women are shallow
• Referring to women solely as roasties or stacys
• Championing/worshipping the incel shooter Elliot something or other.

i literally learned all of this in the span of 10 minutes after randomly stumbling in there years ago. I never went back

 

[Jersey_Tom]

yeah, basically

-"Incel" is a self-identification that a certain community came up with for themselves

-Despite it's literal wording, it describes a mindset more than anything. I don't think currently not having sex but wanting to in and of itself makes you an "incel."

Click to shrink...

Pretty much nailed it here.

It has less to do with the actual literal meaning and more the mentality that the reason for your celibacy has nothing to do with what you personally are doing with your life/behavior/attitude and everything to do with women/society/etc.

Basically it's narcissism mixed with misogyny which inevitably leads these guys to become problematic individuals who take out their frustrations on other people because they're the real victims.

 

[Kernel]

You aren't an "incel" because you want to have sex but aren't. You're an incel because you're a sociopathic misogynist who believes you are literally owed sex.

Incels are are not sad guys who could not get a date. You can be a sad guy who can't get a date who isn't a violent sexist cretin. Don't try humanize sociopathic misogyny. This is a slippery trap.

Being sad, or lonely, or having trouble connecting with others, is not what makes you an incel. None of these things are exclusive to men, either. These are normal traits that normal people exhibit regardless of gender. But this is not the root of incels. The root of incels is hatred of women.

Do not be fooled in to thinking otherwise.

Click to shrink...

A lot of them start out just as sad guys looking for advice or someone to talk to before they get redpilled or blackpilled(worse).

The radicalization works the same way as white supremacist groups.

 

[Jam]

You aren't an "incel" because you want to have sex but aren't. You're an incel because you're a sociopathic misogynist who believes you are literally owed sex.

Incels are are not sad guys who could not get a date. You can be a sad guy who can't get a date who isn't a violent sexist cretin. Don't try humanize sociopathic misogyny. This is a slippery trap.

Being sad, or lonely, or having trouble connecting with others, is not what makes you an incel. None of these things are exclusive to men, either. These are normal traits that normal people exhibit regardless of gender. But this is not the root of incels. The root of incels is hatred of women.

Do not be fooled in to thinking otherwise.

Click to shrink...

Pretty much this OP.

Incel is a specific group that wallows in misogyny and hatred. It's not a catch-all term for those who can't find a partner. It's essentially a hate group.

 

[Finale Fireworker]

A lot of them start out just as sad guys looking for advice or someone to talk to before they get redpilled or blackpilled(worse).

The radicalization works the same way as white supremacist groups.

Click to shrink...

An unfortunate truth, yes.

But once one of these men are radicalized what defines and binds them is no longer insecurity. And when it comes to treating them and rehabilitating them, you have far more work to do than simply helping them socialize or build self worth.

A sexist with self worth who is better at connecting with people is still a sexist. An incel who gains self confidence is just another type of PUA/MRA waiting to victimize women for not sleeping with them.

 

[davepoobond]

having a hard time with the opposite (or same) sex does not make you a celibate.

Click to shrink...

isnt that why its "involuntary"?

 

[Platy]

isnt that why its "involuntary"?

Click to shrink...

Celibacy imply these dudes gave up on having a sex life EVER because they are assholes

 

[lint2015]

Yeah, the term came from an online community of them and it's grown derogatory as those communities prove themselves to be disgusting filth. It's not like it became a derogatory term because people were making fun of their "involuntary" celibacy.

On the other hand, you can technically fit the definition of a incel as just being someone who can't get a date without being violent or misogynistic, without blaming the world for your problems and being an all-round terrible person nobody would want to be with. And I don't think those people would really be offended by that term because they don't really identify with it.

 

[Rosebud]

People are really using the term the wrong way. Some people called Emma Watson "incel" because she's single and fine with it lol

 

[TinTuba47]

Just started listening to the 'Reply All' episode.

mind blown that the term has been around since the 90s, I thought it was a decade old, max.

podcast is cool, I might check out more episodes

 

[Dogui]

You're not an incel unless you call yourself one afaik

 

[Finale Fireworker]

OP, here's another way I've heard it put:

Rationalizing incels in reference to their low self-esteem is like rationalizing racism over "economic anxiety."

Lots of people have economic anxiety without being racist. You are not racist because you have economic anxiety. Acting like the root of racism is economic anxiety is charitable to racists at the expense of their victims.

The same is true for incels. Lots of people have low self-esteem and are socially awkward without being misogynists. You are not a misogynist because you have low self-esteem and are socially awkward. Acting like the root of misogyny is insecurity is charitable to sexists are the expense of women.


People like this require deradicalization therapy and I am not an expert and don't know what kind of stages you have to take these kinds of people through to rehabilitate them. Incels are usually victims of patriarchy and toxic masculinity constructs.

But in every day discourse, it's important not to romanticize incels as misunderstood or relatable. These kinds of people make the world unpleasant and often dangerous for women. They are a self-described hate movement and this is reflected in their rhetoric and behavior.

People use it as an pejorative because it's a gross and insulting identity. It is not something anyone should ever want to be. In this context it is used to condemn behavior and attitudes and is used less literally.

 

[Deleted member 17092]

I think there truly are sexually frustrated individuals out there and then I think they kind of get recruited into a worse and worse mentality about that frustration online. My brother was dangerously close to getting to this point but my sister and I were able to get him on the right track.

 

[Calvarok]

the term itself was created by a progressive person and not meant to be derogatory. the incel community has made it derogatory by being a festering heap of shit.

being involuntarily celibate is not the same as being a captial "I" Incel.

 

[FluxWaveZ]

People are really using the term the wrong way. Some people called Emma Watson "incel" because she's single and fine with it lol

Click to shrink...

Yep. I think the term is starting to lose its meaning. This became clear when people were calling Emma Watson an incel for her philosophy in that recent interview. It's starting to be applied to basically anyone who doesn't seek sex or anyone who can't get it.

 

[Deleted member 19066]

It was started by a woman? I had no idea

Click to shrink...

Yep. iirc it was started in the 90s by a thirtysomething lesbian asian woman who worked a lot of hours as a medical professional (doctor I think.) She started an online forum for people for anyone who had whatever issues finding love. Then things slowly got weird.

 

[Deleted member 12790]

the only people who use the term "incel" are the ones who have made it into a cultural branding, i.e. the militant assholes looking to cause IRL violent. "We" didn't brand them incels, they took the term on themselves. THEY call themselves incels. I'd assume the awakward people who can't get laid probably aren't going around calling themselves incels. It's not a descriptor, it's the name of a loose organization. Like "anonymous," it doesn't refer to literally anybody who doesn't wish to reveal your name.

 

[TinTuba47]

People are really using the term the wrong way. Some people called Emma Watson "incel" because she's single and fine with it lol

Click to shrink...

ha ha really? That's so hilariously dumb.

Poor Emma Watson, literally can not get laid to save her life...

 

[SynthFetish]

Contrapoints did an excellent video on this. You should check it out.

 

[TinTuba47]

Contrapoints did an excellent video on this. You should check it out.

Click to shrink...

cool thanks! I just discovered her videos early this week and watched a couple, I'll definitely check out the Incel one

 

[deimosmasque]

Time to pull out some of the incel "greatest hits" from just the last six months.

Note that any example I give is from an actual incel community, there "safe spaces" if you will.

First is in regards to an Instagram picture of a mother taking her kids trick or treating. The mother was wearing a somewhat skimpy cat costume. Putting in spoilers cause they are grotesque responses.

Spoiler

"A mom that posts shit like this to public is also the same kind of mom to have multiple sexual partners and fuck while her kids are in the house and probably watching as well. Probably takes [big black cock] with the doors open and gives her little man kisses goodnight with her herpes-infested lip and cum-soaked breath"

Spoiler

Her ass is disgustingly proportioned.

Reminds me of a time I was at the store and some whore came in with her bastard, she was wearing one of those shirts that looked like were-chad ripped the back to shreds and she had a SEE THROUGH LACE MINI SKIRT THAT ONLY WENT DOWN TO CUNT-LEVEL and her bastard was following her around the store, her ass, panties fully visible, at eye level with her kid...

People like this get to reproduce but we don't get free facial surgery so we can reproduce...

This one was also from October and basically tries to explain the conspiracy Playboy magazine had in making men emasculated by the woman driver.

Spoiler

It started slowly with Playboy. They put some naked female next to a car. Eventually this female was inside of that car. At this point the situation will become more cucked over time. Then they spread this on media, movies and series. You cannot escape it. It was visible everywhere. Female teenage driving everywhere while the male protagonist is on the passenger seat like a little cuck.

Here is one from September where they explain what a hymen is and is for.

Spoiler

The foid hymen exists for one purpose only – to ensure the future husband that he is the first to fuck her and therefore she is likely disease free and any children are his biological children. …

The simple fact is that the hymen evolved specifically because men who married women with intact hymens were more likely to care for the children and thus they were more successful.

Spoiler

Deep down the soy brain knows no hymen = whore. This cannot be debated.

Spoiler

Unfortunately there seems to be a push these days from foids to try to dispel this truth. And the soy brain seems to be falling for it. I've seen all sorts of nonsense excuses from foids trying to claim why they don't have a hymen. Horse riding, skateboarding accidents, sneezing too hard and gymnastics are just some of the stupid excuses foids claim.

Okay that's it for now.

Reminder that is just from the last two months.

 

[TaySan]

Being lonely and not having sex doesn't make you an Incel. Hatred of women and believing that you are owed sex does make you one.

 

[TinTuba47]

Time to pull out some of the incel "greatest hits" from just the last six months.

Note that any example I give is from an actual incel community, there "safe spaces" if you will.

First is in regards to an Instagram picture of a mother taking her kids trick or treating. The mother was wearing a somewhat skimpy cat costume. Putting in spoilers cause they are grotesque responses.

Spoiler

"A mom that posts shit like this to public is also the same kind of mom to have multiple sexual partners and fuck while her kids are in the house and probably watching as well. Probably takes [big black cock] with the doors open and gives her little man kisses goodnight with her herpes-infested lip and cum-soaked breath"

Spoiler

Her ass is disgustingly proportioned.

Reminds me of a time I was at the store and some whore came in with her bastard, she was wearing one of those shirts that looked like were-chad ripped the back to shreds and she had a SEE THROUGH LACE MINI SKIRT THAT ONLY WENT DOWN TO CUNT-LEVEL and her bastard was following her around the store, her ass, panties fully visible, at eye level with her kid...

People like this get to reproduce but we don't get free facial surgery so we can reproduce...

This one was also from October and basically tries to explain the conspiracy Playboy magazine had in making men emasculated by the woman driver.

Spoiler

It started slowly with Playboy. They put some naked female next to a car. Eventually this female was inside of that car. At this point the situation will become more cucked over time. Then they spread this on media, movies and series. You cannot escape it. It was visible everywhere. Female teenage driving everywhere while the male protagonist is on the passenger seat like a little cuck.

Here is one from September where they explain what a hymen is and is for.

Spoiler

The foid hymen exists for one purpose only – to ensure the future husband that he is the first to fuck her and therefore she is likely disease free and any children are his biological children. …

The simple fact is that the hymen evolved specifically because men who married women with intact hymens were more likely to care for the children and thus they were more successful.

Spoiler

Deep down the soy brain knows no hymen = whore. This cannot be debated.

Spoiler

Unfortunately there seems to be a push these days from foids to try to dispel this truth. And the soy brain seems to be falling for it. I've seen all sorts of nonsense excuses from foids trying to claim why they don't have a hymen. Horse riding, skateboarding accidents, sneezing too hard and gymnastics are just some of the stupid excuses foids claim.

Okay that's it for now.

Reminder that is just from the last two months.

Click to shrink...

gross. What does 'foid' mean? I assume it's a reference to women, but does it stand for something?

 

[TaySan]

I follow r/inceltears on reddit and there is some funny and sad shit there from these communities.

 

[Rosebud]

Time to pull out some of the incel "greatest hits" from just the last six months.

Note that any example I give is from an actual incel community, there "safe spaces" if you will.

First is in regards to an Instagram picture of a mother taking her kids trick or treating. The mother was wearing a somewhat skimpy cat costume. Putting in spoilers cause they are grotesque responses.

Spoiler

"A mom that posts shit like this to public is also the same kind of mom to have multiple sexual partners and fuck while her kids are in the house and probably watching as well. Probably takes [big black cock] with the doors open and gives her little man kisses goodnight with her herpes-infested lip and cum-soaked breath"

Spoiler

Her ass is disgustingly proportioned.

Reminds me of a time I was at the store and some whore came in with her bastard, she was wearing one of those shirts that looked like were-chad ripped the back to shreds and she had a SEE THROUGH LACE MINI SKIRT THAT ONLY WENT DOWN TO CUNT-LEVEL and her bastard was following her around the store, her ass, panties fully visible, at eye level with her kid...

People like this get to reproduce but we don't get free facial surgery so we can reproduce...

This one was also from October and basically tries to explain the conspiracy Playboy magazine had in making men emasculated by the woman driver.

Spoiler

It started slowly with Playboy. They put some naked female next to a car. Eventually this female was inside of that car. At this point the situation will become more cucked over time. Then they spread this on media, movies and series. You cannot escape it. It was visible everywhere. Female teenage driving everywhere while the male protagonist is on the passenger seat like a little cuck.

Here is one from September where they explain what a hymen is and is for.

Spoiler

The foid hymen exists for one purpose only – to ensure the future husband that he is the first to fuck her and therefore she is likely disease free and any children are his biological children. …

The simple fact is that the hymen evolved specifically because men who married women with intact hymens were more likely to care for the children and thus they were more successful.

Spoiler

Deep down the soy brain knows no hymen = whore. This cannot be debated.

Spoiler

Unfortunately there seems to be a push these days from foids to try to dispel this truth. And the soy brain seems to be falling for it. I've seen all sorts of nonsense excuses from foids trying to claim why they don't have a hymen. Horse riding, skateboarding accidents, sneezing too hard and gymnastics are just some of the stupid excuses foids claim.

Okay that's it for now.

Reminder that is just from the last two months.

Click to shrink...

They have no sense of reality, it all sounds like they are living in a basement for 20 years.

 

[deimosmasque]

gross. What does 'foid' mean? I assume it's a reference to women, but does it stand for something?

Click to shrink...

Femoid.

Basically they don't view women as human beings at all.

 

[How About No]

gross. What does 'foid' mean? I assume it's a reference to women, but does it stand for something?

Click to shrink...

feeeeeeeeeemoooiiiiiiidddssss

 

[Zelenogorsk]

but why about those folks who just can't get laid due to being awkward or ugly or whatever, and don't feel like they are owed anything by the world around them. No compassion for them?

Click to shrink...

You don't deserve compassion just because you're a virgin. If they don't feel like they are owed anything then why would they want compassion?

 

[Rosebud]

You don't deserve compassion just because you're a virgin. If they don't feel like they are owed anything then why would they want compassion?

Click to shrink...

Because no one should be compared to creepy criminals without reason

 

[Zelenogorsk]

Because no one should be compared to creepy criminals without reason

Click to shrink...

I'm fine with someone saying "don't compare me to an incel just because i'm a virgin", but if that same person said "I'm a virgin please have compassion for me" i'd be like lolno.

 

[cakely]

Lately I've been reading up on incels, and while I absolutely think that a lot of the gross misogyny from some of their online communities is appalling, I wonder about the term itself.

obviously the term is short for 'involuntarily celibate', which makes me wonder why every time i see the term used by 'woke' people it's used as a pegorative.

the term 'involuntarily celibate' can apply to a lot of people. True, a portion of them are misguided and entitled creeps, but why about those folks who just can't get laid due to being awkward or ugly or whatever, and don't feel like they are owed anything by the world around them. No compassion for them? Is there a non-pejorative term for those types?

kinda new to discovering this whole world and just curious.

(note: I'm not an Incel by any definition)

Click to shrink...

Just asking questions? All right, here we go:

Anyone that self-identifies as an incel is misogynist garbage, and deserves no compassion.

Therefore, everyone can justifiably use that word as a "pegorative" [sic].

 

[Clefargle]

Lately I've been reading up on incels, and while I absolutely think that a lot of the gross misogyny from some of their online communities is appalling, I wonder about the term itself.

obviously the term is short for 'involuntarily celibate', which makes me wonder why every time i see the term used by 'woke' people it's used as a pegorative.

the term 'involuntarily celibate' can apply to a lot of people. True, a portion of them are misguided and entitled creeps, but why about those folks who just can't get laid due to being awkward or ugly or whatever, and don't feel like they are owed anything by the world around them. No compassion for them? Is there a non-pejorative term for those types?

kinda new to discovering this whole world and just curious.

(note: I'm not an Incel by any definition)

Click to shrink...

because people that are having trouble dating don't call themselves incels explicitly. It's the people that identify with the moniker that a lot of us are referring to when we call them abhorrent

 

[EdibleKnife]

because people that are having trouble dating don't call themselves incels explicitly. It's the people that identify with the moniker that a lot of us are referring to when we call them abhorrent

Click to shrink...

This. First time I had sex was at 26, about 6 years ago now and haven't had a genuine loving partner since. In that time, I would never have used the word incel to describe myself simply because of my circumstances then. Even now, I'm not a full on charmer. I've got long dry spells & it's tough to find lasting intimate relationships still because of how much of an awkward loner I am but I have no reason to put a label on myself simply because of that. People who know the context of incel in its current form should be eager to not identify with it to start with. Anyone who sees people use incel as an insult should know there's a difference between that and explicitly being made fun of for being a shy virgin or the like.

 

[PtM]

I'm fine with someone saying "don't compare me to an incel just because i'm a virgin", but if that same person said "I'm a virgin please have compassion for me" i'd be like lolno.

Click to shrink...

Generally speaking, I'd read a self-pitying virgin as signs of depression and not something to laugh about. Though that's a pretty hypothetical scenario anyhow, which depressed virgin would open up like that, it would only happen in anonymity.