Super early feedback time!
Dedication Through Light - This was really good! I’m a sucker for fantasy, so the setting had me, but that wasn’t the only thing. Your writing also felt a lot more vibrant and consistent than stories I’ve read from you in the past. It was creative, original, and engaging. It gave me a weird mix of Shadow of the Colossus mixed with Haibane Renmei vibe. You did have quite a few apostrophe errors in the second half, but I overlooked them because I was enjoying the story so much. Maybe there are questions and logic holes that I can posit if I think about this story more or read it again, but on a first go-around, I had such a good time that it didn’t matter. I feel like you’ve been holding out on us because this was really fun, interesting, and enjoyable!
Stars_and_Snows - This was a hoot, and I commend you for your commitment to the concept. The comments section was sublime. I skipped over some of the actual instructions near the end, but I got the gist of it, and I was amused from top to bottom. Well done!
UCBooties - You guys are too adorable. If this doesn’t score you points, I don’t know what will. This was fun, and I totally love the simplicity of “I am just cat,” (paraphrase) which I know wasn’t your creation, but I was happy to get to read it twice. I wonder how he got out of that mess! Also, time to start writing some non-cat stories, UC.
Mike - You say this was half-assed, but it still came off raw and personal. Not sure how much of this is autobiographical and how much is fiction, but I hope you’re doing okay. Keep writing because you’re good at it and it sounds like you just might need it. Also, agreed that babies are expensive as fuck.
FlowersisBritish - I felt like there was a lot of projection going on here, be it intentional or accidental/subconscious, especially with what you said about being in a funk. This was a simple story, but the protagonist was never in any danger. It was all too easy, almost slovenly. The writing here is still fine, but the story is lacking the necessary tension to hold the reader’s interest. Hope you’re doing alright and that you get out of your funk soon. Maybe find a bigger beast to go after.
Dongs Macabre - I really liked the poetry of this one. It was somber and put me in the mind of the protagonist. I felt his strange apathetic despair. I could see the aftermath around him. And I felt the odd peace he felt of realizing that although he’s alone, he still has all he needs. I wonder how long he could survive out there like that. Nice one, Dongs.
Ashes - Leave it to Ashes to dampen the mood in the room. Damn. This was admittedly too short and didn’t have enough character development to be truly effective, but you got the bulletpoints across. I’m wondering if this was the story you wanted to write or if you were hoping to be able to write something longer that still held these relationships and this story. Also, fuck Jonathan. :)
choodi - Are you a caterpillar and a butterfly? If not, this still worked for me on a weird abstract level. It felt like a writing exercise experiment. I’m not sure if you wanted to treat it that way, but that’s how I felt as I went through it. The words were pretty, the images were evocative and curious, and overall, I dug it.
This is a toooouuuugh challenge. Waiting on @Nezumi’s entry and anyone else who might want to sneak in at the last second!
And here we go...
Nezumi - This was really enjoyable and had some original imagery and situations. I only wish Clara’s witchiness played more into the story, as that seemed to be a big part of her identity, but I didn’t feel it got exploited enough. I didn’t really get that Clara had been reading tarot cards at the start either. That said, I loved the tortoise and the bare description of the apartment. I’d be curious to read more about these two and their history together.
