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REgals [Women of Era] |OT| Episode I: The Female Menace

Mar 7, 2018
142
Canada
Hahahaha fuck meeeeeee

Just had an appointment with a back doctor. He looked at my mri of my back from four years ago and said I had arthritis back then. The doctor four years ago said it was normal. Had this shit for 4+ years and could have been doing more about it if I'd known fuck meeee.

So I'm going for another mri. The one I did last month was only of the pelvic region and this doctor wants one of my full back. Good thing I'm not claustrophobic.

Meanwhile my back has really crapped out the past several days. Since I'm not going to get a resolution right away I guess I'll just take some nsaids and hope for the best.
Anything to do with the back is the worst, I feel like doctors just want it to be nothing at the time and then always find shit out after the fact. I hope it gets figured out for you sooner than later.
I got a pair of high-waisted skinny jeans for $15, and they are my favorite jeans! I am considering buying them in every color (I have green now, but they come in 7 other colors). I struggle with jeans, because my butt is really big for my frame, and I have bad luck of ripping the ass out of my pants often, but I've had my FashionNova jeans for 8 months, and they're going strong! Haha
Everyone seems to really like their jeans and bottoms in general, I want their more scandalous outfits lol especially for working out and I'm scared of the fit of the clothes due to me having zero percent butt and 120 percent thighs. I just ordered tights that cinch the fabric in the butt area to make it look bigger and ... the fabric is just unacceptable.
 
Oct 25, 2017
14,146
Thanks Gugi40

Sleep really seems to do a number on me. Woke up and my lower half hurt a lot. Forgot to mention in the last post that the back doctor said I have hip bursitis again on both hips. Sleep is just not feeling restful either.

Seemed to slowly recover after waking up and ibuprofen helped. But I still have some shitty pain even now. This blows.
 
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weemadarthur

weemadarthur

Community Resettler
Member
Oct 25, 2017
2,745
We recently have tried a pillow that, instead of having memory foam in, has “memory fibers”.

This is apparently a new way to say polyester fiber fill.

Anti-recommend.

It bunches up and needs to be beaten to return to form. Although if you need things to hit, definitely buy some!
 
Oct 28, 2017
733
Found this opinion piece from Wall Street journal floating around the Twitters and it really rubs me the wrong way.

https://www.wsj.com/articles/sorry-feminists-men-are-better-at-scrabble-1542411642
Excerpt:
Competitive Scrabble constitutes a natural experiment for testing the feminist worldview. According to feminist dogma, males and females are identical in their aptitudes and interests. If men dominate certain data-based, abstract fields like engineering, physics and math, that imbalance must, by definition, be the result of sexism—whether a patriarchal culture that discourages girls from math or implicit bias in the hiring process.


But there are no cultural expectations that discourage females from memorizing dictionaries—a typical strategy of competitive Scrabble players, often in a foreign language that the player doesn’t speak. Girls are as free as boys to lap up vocabulary. Nor are there misogynist gatekeepers to keep females out of Scrabble play; the game, usually first learned at home, is open to all. According to Hasbro , 83% of recreational Scrabble players 25 to 54 are female.

Championship Scrabble, however, rewards typically male obsessions: strategy, math, a passion for competition, and a drive to memorize facts. Mr. Richards’s mother told the Guardian in 2015 that he “related everything to numbers” when he was growing up. Feminists will need to employ circular logic to conjure forth a discriminatory barrier in Scrabble: Males’ excellence at a certain activity itself keeps females out. But that leaves unanswered the question of how males came to excel at Scrabble—or any other abstract, competitive activity—in the first place.
I'm not convinced women couldn't compete if they really wanted to. They simply don't want to and that seems 100% cultural to me. They're trying to make it look like it's intrinsic to bring a woman and that seems completely wrong to me. But what do I know? I'm just 1 dude working in the science field where 80% of my co workers are women. My superiors are women. The pathologist at my hospital is a woman. The hospital CEO is a black woman M.D. I refuse to believe my place of work is some freak anomaly.

There's a lot of really smart successful women here, much smarter than I am, and I'd like to hear your thoughts on this piece.

I'm just baffled Michael Shermer would spread this. WTF man
 
Dec 2, 2017
1,239
I
Found this opinion piece from Wall Street journal floating around the Twitters and it really rubs me the wrong way.

https://www.wsj.com/articles/sorry-feminists-men-are-better-at-scrabble-1542411642
Excerpt:


I'm not convinced women couldn't compete if they really wanted to. They simply don't want to and that seems 100% cultural to me. They're trying to make it look like it's intrinsic to bring a woman and that seems completely wrong to me. But what do I know? I'm just 1 dude working in the science field where 80% of my co workers are women. My superiors are women. The pathologist at my hospital is a woman. The hospital CEO is a black woman M.D. I refuse to believe my place of work is some freak anomaly.

There's a lot of really smart successful women here, much smarter than I am, and I'd like to hear your thoughts on this piece.

I'm just baffled Michael Shermer would spread this. WTF man
It is an op end from the WSJ. These tend to be nonsense more often than not since the editorial pages of the WSJ often lean VERY conservative. I read several news outlets which tend to lean conservative, simply because I am interested in opinions which differ from my own as long as they are soundly argued. This piece is not.
 
Oct 25, 2017
14,146
I


It is an op end from the WSJ. These tend to be nonsense more often than not since the editorial pages of the WSJ often lean VERY conservative. I read several news outlets which tend to lean conservative, simply because I am interested in opinions which differ from my own as long as they are soundly argued. This piece is not.
This, thank you.

The news section of WSJ is very good. But the op-eds are ridiculously right and should be ignored.
 
Found this opinion piece from Wall Street journal floating around the Twitters and it really rubs me the wrong way.

https://www.wsj.com/articles/sorry-feminists-men-are-better-at-scrabble-1542411642
Excerpt:


I'm not convinced women couldn't compete if they really wanted to. They simply don't want to and that seems 100% cultural to me. They're trying to make it look like it's intrinsic to bring a woman and that seems completely wrong to me. But what do I know? I'm just 1 dude working in the science field where 80% of my co workers are women. My superiors are women. The pathologist at my hospital is a woman. The hospital CEO is a black woman M.D. I refuse to believe my place of work is some freak anomaly.

There's a lot of really smart successful women here, much smarter than I am, and I'd like to hear your thoughts on this piece.

I'm just baffled Michael Shermer would spread this. WTF man
Well I’m mostly baffled that;
A) someone devoted their time to research and write this piece
B) men excelling at competitive scrabble is somehow exposing feminism as a lie ?!?
 
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weemadarthur

weemadarthur

Community Resettler
Member
Oct 25, 2017
2,745
It’s just poorly written propaganda. And there’s no research actually done; just someone trying to force a single event to prove their mental hypothesis that they’re an amazing person by proxy.
 

Morrigan

Armoring
Moderator
Oct 24, 2017
9,692
Women live longer statistically, checkmate meninists

Makes about as much sense as this stupidity tbh

I'm just baffled Michael Shermer would spread this. WTF man
Oh is Michael Shermer is behind this? I didn't see this name (apparently the piece was written by a woman called Heather), but while Shermer's "Why People Believe Weird Things" remains a solid classic, the guy is a misogynistic douche who was accused of sexual misconduct by multiple women over the last few years. His Wikipedia "Talk" page about this is borderline bigger than his actual Wikipedia article, lol... in order words, fuck him and anything he might have to say about gender.
 
Oct 25, 2017
1,484
I’m spending the next few days with my in-laws. They have a new puppy and I can’t believe how cute she is. They just got her yesterday.

It’s a yellow lab.

I’m dying it’s so cute.

I’d post pics and a thread but I can’t make threads after posting about that fucked up video where you beat the suffragette in RDR2. Heaven forbid someone accuse a Rockstar game of having a problematic relationship with women characters.

Although I hadn’t played the game and my exposure to it was limited to that video and others like it. It felt like that specific character and her lines were like an invitation to alt fighters to rub their hands together and show those feminists what for. Sigh.

Puppy pics incoming.
 
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Oct 25, 2017
14,146
Any solo travelers in here?

I've taken solo vacations to Disney World and Universal Orlando. They are kind of out of necessity at this point as we have 5 cats, with one of them very difficult to leave in the care of others. He's old and will probably die in the next 5 years but until then, it's very difficult for my husband and I to take vacations together. Since WDW and Universal are kind of in a bubble, I have felt very safe there traveling alone.

I want to do something this spring, but I'm Disneyed out and Universal Orlando only seemed worth it to me for Halloween Horror Nights (I'm already planning on going next October). I'm trying to think of something to do that would be safe for a small, mildly disabled (but fully mobile) woman like myself. I was thinking a cruise with guided excursions, but I wasn't a huge fan of the one cruise I took as a teenager and I'm also a little leery of cruises for the whole sailing petri dish factor. I was thinking maybe being part of a tour group somewhere. But would that really be safe enough? I dunno. I've wanted to visit Puerto Rico ever since Maria happened, but I just don't know if it would be safe enough for my husband to let me do, and to make me feel secure enough.

Edit: PR is probably out going alone since it seems Verizon cell service is spotty there. Probably sticking to the continental US for now.
 
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Oct 27, 2017
289
Any solo travelers in here?
I've also thought about doing a solo cruise and bringing a heap of stuff to read between day trips. It seems like it could be a really relaxing for a last minute getaway. I've never been on one, so I would at least like to try it sometime. I would imagine those tour group things would be pretty safe, or at least it shouldn't be hard to find out how other solo travelers found it.

The last time I took a big trip by myself was to Austria for Salzburg's classical music festival. I got a bunch of piano performance tickets in advance, and it was super relaxing staying close to the big venue and just wandering around the area on foot or watching the outdoor monitors showing opera performances. It felt very safe there, maybe because of the event going on.
 
Oct 25, 2017
14,146
So I'm actually thinking of going to visit my parents in Ohio for a couple nights and then driving a couple of hours to Cedar Point for a couple nights, staying onsite. I'll invite the parents but they're old and probably not interested (Dad gets motion sickness, and tbh my mom is just fucking nuts and I'm not sure I'd want her there). My parents live 5 minutes down the road from the Columbus Zoo and I love it there. Would get to visit the rescue we adopted our cats from and enjoy some good restaurants that I miss from my days there, as well as be a good daughter. Then get to go to a world-class amusement park after. Sounds like not a bad deal to me. I'd just have to wait until mid-May as Cedar Point doesn't open until then. Probably better for my work schedule anyway.
 
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weemadarthur

weemadarthur

Community Resettler
Member
Oct 25, 2017
2,745
Cedar Point is pretty amazing, yeah. And staying on site is the way to go despite the pathetic hotels and inflated costs, because the line to park is nuts. The surrounding town had alternate entertainment too, although we didn’t check it out when we were there, and okay that was a while ago besides.
 
Oct 25, 2017
14,146
Cedar Point is pretty amazing, yeah. And staying on site is the way to go despite the pathetic hotels and inflated costs, because the line to park is nuts. The surrounding town had alternate entertainment too, although we didn’t check it out when we were there, and okay that was a while ago besides.
Everything is ridiculously cheap compared to Disney so I feel like I'm going cheap anyway, haha.
 
Dec 28, 2017
104
Any solo travelers in here?
I want to do this so bad, but I don't know how I would start. I want to travel internationally by myself since my husband has a hard time taking vacation days at his job and he's really not interested in seeing the world like I want to. Where would you find these cruises and guided tours? I think I'd feel safer with a tour group.
 

Morrigan

Armoring
Moderator
Oct 24, 2017
9,692
I travelled alone twice. Well, one of those times I eventually joined a small group of friends (but I flew there on my own) so it doesn't really count. My trip to Seattle 2 years ago was all by myself and it went fine. I've never happened to go to any "adventurous" place all by myself though.
 
Oct 25, 2017
14,146
For cruises, you could just go on the cruise line websites. I'm not sure regarding tour groups. I googled some but I'm not sure if they're legit.

I've kind of put the trip on hold for now. Still need to think about it and do more research to see if Cedar Point makes sense for me.
 
Oct 25, 2017
14,146
My insurance denied approval of my back MRI because it seems like my doctor didn't provide enough information (or maybe they did and they're just bullshitting). I'm so fucking mad. I'm calling the doctor's office first thing tomorrow. I'm so pissed I have to deal with this shit on top of everything else.
 
Oct 31, 2017
1,830
My insurance denied approval of my back MRI because it seems like my doctor didn't provide enough information (or maybe they did and they're just bullshitting). I'm so fucking mad. I'm calling the doctor's office first thing tomorrow. I'm so pissed I have to deal with this shit on top of everything else.
Insurance issues are awful. Hope it works out in the end for you.
 
Dec 28, 2017
104
My insurance denied approval of my back MRI because it seems like my doctor didn't provide enough information (or maybe they did and they're just bullshitting). I'm so fucking mad. I'm calling the doctor's office first thing tomorrow. I'm so pissed I have to deal with this shit on top of everything else.
This seems to be a thing that's been happening lately. My husband got pre-approved for a procedure and then at the last minute the insurance denied coverage for the same reason. I still don't know what they needed or even if the insurance covered it. I'm hoping to not have a surprise bill come in the mail someday.
 
Oct 25, 2017
14,146
So they called me back first thing this morning. They had sent a bunch of shit to the insurance company but they kept rejecting it. We decided I would try physical therapy for 6 weeks and then try them again. The stupidest thing is 12 sessions (6 weeks twice a week) will cost the insurance company more than an MRI. And I have done physical therapy exercises on my own nearly every day for four fucking years.

Of course, they were supposed to email me the order for physical therapy today so I could make an appointment ASAP. Nope, not in my inbox, and they're already closed. Will have to call them tomorrow.

My back hurts a lot this afternoon and I came home and sat curled up on the floor and cried for a few minutes. I also cried last night because my husband is being a cheap asshole and has insisted on leaving the heat at 58F. Even with a ton of blankets I was freezing and couldn't fall asleep without going into a fetal position to warm up, which hurt my hips and back, and I could only do that for a few minutes before it hurt too much. Took me a long time to get to sleep when I had to wake up early for work and was exhausted.

I came home this afternoon and haven't checked the thermostat, but it seems considerably warmer in the house. I'm wondering if he turned it up (he got home first). But the thermostat is downstairs and my back hurts too much for me to go back downstairs just to check that.

I fear I'm going into a depressive spiral again, though I've never done so before because of my health.
 
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weemadarthur

weemadarthur

Community Resettler
Member
Oct 25, 2017
2,745
Chronic health conditions are a HUGE cause of depression, and then the doctors like to change focus to treating just the depression.

58 is too cold, and i’m famously cheap. I stick with 65 and need blankets everywhere.
 
Oct 25, 2017
14,146
We put it up to 63 and that worked out pretty well. He said he was sorry and that he didn't realize that he seemed so outwardly steadfast in keeping the temp so low. Also, he runs quite hot, much hotter than me, and probably didn't realize just how cold it was for me.

Ended up crying myself to sleep last night again, but it was because of the pain. No matter what side I slept on, it hurt. Was even contemplating going to the ER to see if I could get an MRI there. Called the doctor's and left a message asking them about that order. After last night's ordeal, I'm planning on filing an appeal for the MRI. This is ridiculous. My husband said at this point he would just pay out of pocket.
 
Oct 27, 2017
569
Hey all.. so sorry I posted and bolted. I've been having a hard time digesting... idk... I guess post metoo hottakes

I'm too tried to say anything clever right now except to give *hugs* to all of you. Stay strong :( <3
Thanks for the support! I wish more people would just offer hugs instead of half-baked responses.



Thank you for sharing your story. I've felt that way about other stuff, but I've fortunately never been sexually assaulted. I consider myself extremely lucky in that regard. Hugs to you. <3
I think at some level, we've all been affected by it. The fact that you consider yourself lucky says a lot about the state of affairs.


Yes I do recognise the sudden flaring up of emotions around a traumatic experience that I thought I dealt with. My conclusion is that there are different levels of healing. Rational and emotional. Rational is the easiest for me, but the emotional level is buried deep and can surface literally decades later. I bring my attention to these emotions and tell myself that they are not there to hurt me, but just want to be felt. Afterwards I feel more complete somehow.

It isn’t easy so a big hug for you.
Yes! So much of this. I've been doubling up on therapy. It's something I've faced head-on and even for me, I get caught with these flare ups. I was in a bad place for a few weeks. I'm doing better now, just filled with rage. Guess that's one step I missed along the healing process. I always felt even-keeled and empowered by my calm demeanor. Now all-of-a-sudden, I'm a second away from boiling... all the time. My therapist tells me anger is a tool. So I'm trying to find news ways of wielding this new tool.


Hugs to everyone here! I'm going to be more diligent in my contributioms to this fantastic community. Xx
 
Oct 25, 2017
261
Hey all.. so sorry I posted and bolted. I've been having a hard time digesting... idk... I guess post metoo hottakes

I think at some level, we've all been affected by it. The fact that you consider yourself lucky says a lot about the state of affairs.
This really says it all here. I don't post often either but just saw this post and it struck me how true it is. I've been "lucky" too and yet I still feel affected by our culture and #metoo because it could have very easily been me, and I know it.
 
Dec 2, 2017
1,239
The Literary Review has released their nominees for the annual Bad sex in fiction award and they are too terrible not to share:

NSFW (or life) obviously and in Murakami's case also trigger warning

To the surprise of no one, these year's esteemed nominees are all men what does correlate with my long-standing theory that men can't write erotica to save their lives.

"empty my tanks" had me dying and I am delighted that longtime favorites like "pleasure cave" have not gone out of style just ye
 
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The Literary Review has released their nominees for the annual Bad sex in fiction award and they are too terrible not to share:

NSFW (or life) obviously and in Murakami's case also trigger warning

To the surprise of no one, these year's esteemed nominees are all men what does correlate with my long-standing theory that men can't write erotica to save their lives.

"empty my tanks" had me dying and I am delighted that longtime favorites like "pleasure cave" have not gone out of style just ye
This is gloriously horrific. Made me laugh.
 
Nov 16, 2017
2,148
Other nurses keep asking me if I'm ok and I'm just like yeah I'm fine but shaking and I feel like I'm gonna burst into tears.