If you want to use stuff from the PT to defend TLJ, I'm not sure you'll get much agreement. Most people who dislike stuff about TLJ also loathe the PT. Just because the PT explanations made things worse, doesn't mean there weren't plausibly awesome ways to make the PT. I thought everyone agreed the PT is subpar at this point (seemingly even Disney)
You are correct that Luke using the Force pull in ESB didn't need explaining, and that Obi-Wan using the mind trick on the stormtroopers didn't need an explaniation. These were the explanations. They were not written as dramatic highpoints. The ESB scene opens the film to establish that Luke has grown stronger in the force. We know telekenisis is a force power from the prior movie (unless you assume Vader's choking is a mental thing...). In ANH, the jedi mind trick is part of our introduction to the force. There is no build up as to how the characters will get out of this jam, it's purely instructional. The emperor uses lightning without explanation, great! He should have an awesome power, he's Vader's boss, and we haven't seen what he's capable of yet! The lightning isn't used as a surprise or deus ex to wrap up a scene though. It's simply an obstacle which helps drive Vader and Luke's character arcs to a close. The emperor could've been choking Luke instead. Or melting his brain. The power used here is really not part of the story
Having said all that, you could nitpick those portions of the OT and insist that they needed to be better explained. It's your prerogative. This goes back to what I'm saying about different audiences wanting different amounts of telegraphing and buildup. Maybe you needed more from those scenes...
I thought the Luke projection was fantastic, I had no problem with it being used as it was the perfect way for his character arc to close. However, I can fully admit I had no idea Luke could do that. I realized something was up while he was fighting Kylo, and at that point I suspected maybe he was a ghost (this is the first place my mind went, not that he was projecting himself, but he's been dead all of this time). I noticed the missing footprints. Once it was revealed what happened, I post rationalized it with the stuff Kylo said about the force skype, and I was satisfied, but I can fully see how people would not come to the same conclusions
For one, the telegraphing. Yes, Kylo/Rey were able to communicate over a distance, but the scenes never show it as more than Jedi sensing one another and sensing one another's surroundings. Luke notices it's happening, but Luke is also a Jedi. We never see Kylo or Rey actually occupy space with one another, we never see them interact with objects that are not present (a la the dice), we never see non-force users aware of their presence. Thus it's easy to interpret the connection between Kylo/Rey as strictly mental. They see one another through the others mind's eye. They are aware of what the other is feeling. The two had some form of connection in TFA as well, so we think it's building on that. The we hear that this type of trick would kill Rey, and discover Snoke facilitated it. It's easy to see this as an extension of Luke communicating with Leia in ESB, or Obi-Wan feeling Aalderan's destruction in ANH.
Another point, wanting to surprise. The Luke pojection is clearly meant to be a surprise. Luke's power could easily be classified as Deus Ex Machina, and as with any Deus Ex Machina, it's not necessarily a bad thing (as it's used in a way to properly characterize Luke and tie up the movie's overall theme). What Luke does is definitely several orders of magnitude more impressive and out of left field than Kylo and Rey seeing one another's surroundings, particularly since he creates seemingly physical objects. If Rian wanted this to be an acceptable extension of the Kylo/Rey force communications, there are a number of things he wouldn't have included in the scene. The biggest being handing Leia the dice and kissing her. Yes, we can rationalize this. Maybe only jedi can touch the items, after all we know Leia uses the force, as does Kylo who also touches the dice. Probably Leia knew he was a projection the whole time. The thing is, the audience isn't expecting this. These explanations are more post-rationalization from the audience. If Rian wanted the audience to be able to guess what was going on, he wouldn't have included these curveballs. Yes he left other hints, like Luke using the broken saber, no foot prints, Luke looking different. But the whole moment is confusing, and whether or not you like it is going to come down to whether or not you want to be confused at the climax of the movie
I'm not going to say any of the following would have improved the movie, because whether or not this telegraphing needed to be done is entirely subjective, but here are some ideas that certainly would've changed people's perception of this scene without changing the plot, adding time to the film, changing the characters/themes, or (in my opinion) without dampening the surprise at the end:
Simply show Kylo having a bit more physicality when conversing with Rey. Have him appear in the hut, like Luke does later, rather than the cuts which indicate they are sensing one another's surroundings, not inhabiting them. Have him hand Rey something physical that disappears after their communication ends. Have one of those little frog things cleaning up outside the hut see Kylo through the window and freak out. Have Rey freak out and back away from him, thinking he's there. Have Rey appear physically on the Supremecy, and Hux notices and freaks out
These are some easy ways to hint that this power can be used later, without giving away that Luke will use it to such an extent. You may think it isn't necessary (as do I) but it sounds like it would've helped some enjoy the climax and I can totally see why. We can both see how establishing any bit of what Luke does earlier would make it less of a left turn when it happens. People like eureka moments when watching films, they like putting things together, it makes them feel smart. People don't like discovering they've been kept in the dark. It makes them feel duped