(This is the first thread I've created--I'm hoping this is an okay topic to discuss + the appropriate place to post it. I tried to conduct a few searches for this thread but didn't see anything specific to this. Please let me know if there is an already extant thread I can post in)
Tonight, my SO + I played some Competitive Overwatch. After a bad match, I suggested we try out the looking for game--we had never tried it before, but thought it might be a fun experience. I set up a group that quickly filled up. Everyone was helpful as I asked questions about how that whole system worked and helped me queue the group into a game. I was excited to see what it was like to play with a whole group on mic who had promised to play certain roles! It would def be better than the average comp team, right?
It wasn't. We tried a few matches with a few different people, and each was worse than the last. I'm not claiming to be a great OW player mechanically--but if there was one thing I noticed was that any time I attempted to make a call, I was ignored, or argued with, or told "in a second" only to be ignored until about two minutes later. It was as if my (feminine) voice didn't register with our teammates at all. Any time my (masculine sounding) SO echoed anything I said, he received an affirmative response and our teammates actually did what he suggested.
I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened, but obviously, it's not. In the 500+ hours I've put into Overwatch over the last few years (mostly comp), I've experienced more incidents of teammates blatantly ignoring me, or demeaning me, or doing exactly the opposite of what I'll ask than I can possibly count. One particular incident a few months ago comes to mind--in which I asked our DPS to try something other than Genji after 2 minutes of futile dives, and was told "shut up, little girl, you don't know what the fuck you're talking about. Go back to playing mercy."
In my limited experience it extend into other games. I raided for a few months in FF14 and shotcalled for my group often--when I shotcalled in my raid group of almost entirely cis dudes or like...any PUG I received a lot more anger and hostility than a guy with a masculine voice.
There's also all of the creepy messages/voice interactions I've experienced because of my feminine voice. No I don't want to ERP with you during this comp game. No I don't want to hear about your weird size fetish fantasies just because I raided with you once. I don't want to harp on this too much because it would be like another 4 paragraphs--just know it sucks.
(Maybe it's just me. I try really hard to not come off as irritated or demeaning when shotcalling--I try to stay positive and offer helpful advice when needed or make calls about timing/incoming damage. I've talked to IRL friends who I play with about how I present myself and think I do an okay job at not coming across as nasty or demanding. But I'll admit the possibility still exists.)
I think it's more likely, though, that a lot of gamers (specifically dudes) don't want to listen or respect people they perceive as women within the space. It doesn't matter how much experience women have or how much time they've spent learning about counters or the meta or the raid--it doesn't matter if women have experienced and beaten content, while others haven't. There just seems to be a largely prevalent fundamental lack of respect within this context.
I realize this is sort of rambly, but I wanted to make this thread for two reasons. 1) So people can vent/read about how much it absolutely sucks to be perceived as a woman in voice chat and 2) So people can come up with/suggest solutions.
TLDR: it sucks that games I really enjoy and put a lot of time into I'll never get to actually succeed at because of my dumb voice.
(sorry this is so long. I had a lot more to say about this than I expected :( )
Tonight, my SO + I played some Competitive Overwatch. After a bad match, I suggested we try out the looking for game--we had never tried it before, but thought it might be a fun experience. I set up a group that quickly filled up. Everyone was helpful as I asked questions about how that whole system worked and helped me queue the group into a game. I was excited to see what it was like to play with a whole group on mic who had promised to play certain roles! It would def be better than the average comp team, right?
It wasn't. We tried a few matches with a few different people, and each was worse than the last. I'm not claiming to be a great OW player mechanically--but if there was one thing I noticed was that any time I attempted to make a call, I was ignored, or argued with, or told "in a second" only to be ignored until about two minutes later. It was as if my (feminine) voice didn't register with our teammates at all. Any time my (masculine sounding) SO echoed anything I said, he received an affirmative response and our teammates actually did what he suggested.
I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened, but obviously, it's not. In the 500+ hours I've put into Overwatch over the last few years (mostly comp), I've experienced more incidents of teammates blatantly ignoring me, or demeaning me, or doing exactly the opposite of what I'll ask than I can possibly count. One particular incident a few months ago comes to mind--in which I asked our DPS to try something other than Genji after 2 minutes of futile dives, and was told "shut up, little girl, you don't know what the fuck you're talking about. Go back to playing mercy."
In my limited experience it extend into other games. I raided for a few months in FF14 and shotcalled for my group often--when I shotcalled in my raid group of almost entirely cis dudes or like...any PUG I received a lot more anger and hostility than a guy with a masculine voice.
There's also all of the creepy messages/voice interactions I've experienced because of my feminine voice. No I don't want to ERP with you during this comp game. No I don't want to hear about your weird size fetish fantasies just because I raided with you once. I don't want to harp on this too much because it would be like another 4 paragraphs--just know it sucks.
(Maybe it's just me. I try really hard to not come off as irritated or demeaning when shotcalling--I try to stay positive and offer helpful advice when needed or make calls about timing/incoming damage. I've talked to IRL friends who I play with about how I present myself and think I do an okay job at not coming across as nasty or demanding. But I'll admit the possibility still exists.)
I think it's more likely, though, that a lot of gamers (specifically dudes) don't want to listen or respect people they perceive as women within the space. It doesn't matter how much experience women have or how much time they've spent learning about counters or the meta or the raid--it doesn't matter if women have experienced and beaten content, while others haven't. There just seems to be a largely prevalent fundamental lack of respect within this context.
I realize this is sort of rambly, but I wanted to make this thread for two reasons. 1) So people can vent/read about how much it absolutely sucks to be perceived as a woman in voice chat and 2) So people can come up with/suggest solutions.
TLDR: it sucks that games I really enjoy and put a lot of time into I'll never get to actually succeed at because of my dumb voice.
(sorry this is so long. I had a lot more to say about this than I expected :( )
