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So I'm talking to a Japanese girl on a dating site...

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Resilient

Member
Oct 25, 2017
1,257
on topic: uh.. start learning Japanese if you think it's going to be a problem and you're serious about the relationship?

off topic: how does this post:

Cool. Another worthless poster to ignore.

Funny thing is the thread just escalated with more of the dumb and tasteless sexual shit since then. Enjoy your thread.
catch a 1 day ban, but the posts they quoted go by without a hitch? they're all way worse (pandering, tasteless sexual jokes).
 

Miletius

The Fallen
Oct 25, 2017
921
Berkeley, CA
Hard truth time -- most Japanese people aren't homogeneous and some don't really like anime or video-games and or the things that a lot of people are on this board really like about "Japanese culture". So, truthfully I'd go into this with a grain of salt and, just like any other date, see what genuine interests you really have in common and if the relationships have a shot at working -- language barrier nonwithstanding.

Some of the posts in here are really cringeworthy to be honest. Maybe Japanese people have a stick up their ass about their culture because apparently dating advice from a select group ResetERA consists of 1) typical MRA pickup artist bullshit about dominating them with your language barrier or some other stupid shit and 2) an assumption that apparently we all walk around thinking about our superior culture compared to filthy gaijin or something. I guess this is kind of recursive, but I can definitely tell you 100 percent that I DO feel superior to anybody tossing out that kind of advice though. Maybe treat people like human beings and then you might actually make long lasting connections.
 

Wheatly

Member
Nov 18, 2017
148
How long have you lived in Japan?
Because you lived in Japan, you feel your sweeping generalizations against a whole country are legitimized? All the while, you are talking about how some aspects their culture is inferior while criticizing them of doing the same against others.

Seems like you are the type of guy SolidChamp was talking about and it hit a nerve
 

Ratrat

User requested ban
Banned
Oct 27, 2017
1,867
Please permaban me.


This forum has continued to be awful and disappointing in its ability to not be insulting towards certain races. Why the high tolerance of sexism and racism?

Why is it okay for users to make racial jokes and tell people to show their dick or hentai to an Asian women? Why all the Japan specific fetish and sexual jokes in a thread that was meant to be serious? Why do mods care more about tone policing than making this site comfortable for all cultures and genders? Pointing out sexism and racism in the replies is thread whining? Read that thread and ask yourselves why women hate this forum and why anyone Japanese would ever want to post here.
 

ggundam8

Banned
Mar 12, 2018
63
Japan
Hard truth time -- most Japanese people aren't homogeneous and some don't really like anime or video-games and or the things that a lot of people are on this board really like about "Japanese culture". So, truthfully I'd go into this with a grain of salt and, just like any other date, see what genuine interests you really have in common and if the relationships have a shot at working -- language barrier nonwithstanding.

Some of the posts in here are really cringeworthy to be honest. Maybe Japanese people have a stick up their ass about their culture because apparently dating advice from a select group ResetERA consists of 1) typical MRA pickup artist bullshit about dominating them with your language barrier or some other stupid shit and 2) an assumption that apparently we all walk around thinking about our superior culture compared to filthy gaijin or something. I guess this is kind of recursive, but I can definitely tell you 100 percent that I DO feel superior to anybody tossing out that kind of advice though. Maybe treat people like human beings and then you might actually make long lasting connections.
Your first point is spot on but some of your others are a little off.

Unless you are perapera in Japanese, it is often better to speak English and play the gaijin card. You will get lots of dates but you probably won't find anyone serious.

It sounds like you are Japanese. If so you have no idea what life as a foreigner is like in Japan. I'm not trying to be combative.
 
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ggundam8

Banned
Mar 12, 2018
63
Japan
Because you lived in Japan, you feel your sweeping generalizations against a whole country are legitimized? All the while, you are talking about how some aspects their culture is inferior while criticizing them of doing the same against others.

Seems like you are the type of guy SolidChamp was talking about and it hit a nerve
Yes, 11 continuous years living in Japan as a poc damn right legitimizes my opinion over someone who just comes here for vacation or has Japanese friends online.(I'm not saying you are that type of person)

Not once did I say anyone was inferior. However, when you live anywhere this long you can see the dark under belly. When concerning mental health Japan is ass backwards.
 
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S-Wind

Member
Nov 4, 2017
788
Holy shit.

In a thread about non-Asian guys trying to get with Asian girls - featuring the expected eye-rolling, cringe-worthy stereotypical shit - the only posters who get banned happen to be Asian....

Please permaban me.


This forum has continued to be awful and disappointing in its ability to not be insulting towards Asians. Why the high tolerance of sexism and racism?

Why is it okay for users to make racial jokes and tell people to show their dick or hentai to an Asian women? Why all the Japan specific fetish and sexual jokes in a thread that was meant to be serious? Why do mods care more about tone policing than making this site comfortable for all cultures and genders? Pointing out sexism and racism in the replies is thread whining? Read that thread and ask yourselves why women hate this forum and why anyone Japanese would ever want to post here.
FTFY
 

Miletius

The Fallen
Oct 25, 2017
921
Berkeley, CA
Your first point is spot on but some of your others are a little off.

Unless you are perapera in Japanese, it is often better to speak English and play the gaijin card. You will get lots of dates but you probably won't find anyone serious.

It sounds like you are Japanese. If so you have no idea what life as a foreigner is like in Japan.
My advice isn't about how to score with Japanese chicks. It's about being a good person and not using your language as a wedge in a relationship to keep your waifu subservient to you. Good relationships are built on mutual trust and respect. It's no wonder that resentment will build up if you come into thinking that some Japanese girl is gonna thought police her way to getting wise of your barbaric culture and eventually dump you. Even more so if you're trying to play some game where you decide you don't want to to the bare minimum to retain a cross cultural relationship -- i.e. having the decency to express yourself in the language so that you can communicate effectively with them. You're not giving her a fair shot -- and so eventually you'll be dumped. This applies to anybody regardless of culture, actually -- pull the same shit on anybody with 1/2 a brain and you'll be hitting the curb really fast.
 

ggundam8

Banned
Mar 12, 2018
63
Japan
My advice isn't about how to score with Japanese chicks. It's about being a good person and not using your language as a wedge in a relationship to keep your waifu subservient to you. Good relationships are built on mutual trust and respect. It's no wonder that resentment will build up if you come into thinking that some Japanese girl is gonna thought police her way to getting wise of your barbaric culture and eventually dump you. Even more so if you're trying to play some game where you decide you don't want to to the bare minimum to retain a cross cultural relationship -- i.e. having the decency to express yourself in the language so that you can communicate effectively with them. You're not giving her a fair shot -- and so eventually you'll be dumped. This applies to anybody regardless of culture, actually -- pull the same shit on anybody with 1/2 a brain and you'll be hitting the curb really fast.
This I 100% agree with.
I wasn't trying to be combative. I feel my tone was coming off a little harsh. If it did, I'm sorry.
 

Vas

Member
Oct 25, 2017
3,853
For the OPs level, I'll agree. Gonna want to be using English. For the long term, nah. While it's true there's an uncomfortable bump where you're a hassle to talk to, you're still in a much better position socially once you've crossed it and can communicate easily and effectively. Also going to disagree with talking keigo. Teineigo is fine.
Right, of course I'm not talking about speaking like a sales clerk at 7-11. I'm referring to what you are calling 'teinei-go.' More specifically, ending your verbs with -masu and use desu. Foreigners tend to step over that hurdle wayyy too early and it puts people at unease. I'll edit it to make sure the OP knows what I mean.
 
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OP
OP
Mondy

Mondy

Banned
Oct 25, 2017
2,456
I'd like to share a photo with Era but without her consent it's not very appropriate.
 

hughesta

Member
Oct 25, 2017
4,358
friend of mine moved to Japan with fairly minor experience in the language and she's been dating a guy she met there for over a year. the language barrier is an issue on occasion but they help each other and they're both happy despite the troubles
 

Darksol

Member
Oct 28, 2017
996
Japan
You can make it work if you both commit to learning each other’s language. You’ll eventually speak to each other in a weird Frankenstein mishmash of both languages. Some of my colleagues and I do this too.
 

M52B28

Self-Requested Ban
Banned
Oct 26, 2017
1,794
How on Earth is that ever a good idea, especially with the creeps with anime profile pictures lurking this thread?

Get your shit together. It was already strange with you questioning what to do if meeting parents became a thing despite not even seeing her for an initial date.

Socially, something seems very off about you, and that's not me trying to be mean.

Ffs, she's not a trophy to show off..
 

Daysean

Member
Nov 15, 2017
2,408
Mods don't lock this thread, I need a good laugh at the ridiculousness of this situation
 

Deleted member 26837

User requested account closure
Banned
Oct 30, 2017
431
Why would you want to share a pic of her? That alone makes things super weird. Pull yourself back from that cloud of yours and have a normal date first. Stop with the "what about in the future" thinking. You are currently just talking to a person online, not your wife.
 

HyperFerret

Member
Oct 25, 2017
2,134
Sharing the photo of a woman publically on a forum with lurkers and weirdoes is definitely not a good idea, even with consent. Do not do this.
 

Hazzaku

Member
Oct 25, 2017
239
I could've sworn we had someone who did exactly this anyway either here or in the previous site.

And it got weird.
Might of been that time on the other site someone posted a photo of their Japanese girlfriend ... and it was a photo of Utada Hikaru lmao.

EDIT: Also OP please do not post a photo of the girl here.
 

Resilient

Member
Oct 25, 2017
1,257
mods please delete this shitty thread
And revoke OP thread posting privileges
 
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Hypron

Member
Oct 27, 2017
3,601
NZ
How can you see all the weird shit people are posting in this thread and then think 'oh yeah, I could post a picture of the girl'?

wtf
 
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