OP
OP
Well, things get definitely better on the physical side of things. I am physically almost okay, problem is my psychical state. My financial state, etc. Because I am sort of psychically unstable. I pretty much costing me my relationship, which suck major ass. (Since I originally pretty much started drinking, because I felt alone) My head is not in state for my job, which is software engineer/programmer which is pretty much draining my account at worrying rate. And basically I am unemployed, because I was some sort of "self made man", so yeah. I am not sure how I pull through all this. Obviously urge to drink is strong, but my anxiety about what could happened is greater. So that is nice.
Real problem is anxiety which only get higher and depression from the situation, which on itself is not a big deal, but with combination with everything else, it sucks. This is by far the worst situation I have ever been through, my OG post was at the time, where I felt amazing in comparison to these days.
I wanted to post a thread of me bitching about this sort of thing, but I am not sure why would anyone care, is not that I am some amazing contributor to this forum. Also thoughts about going to gofundme and post something about this whole situation and beg for money is strong, but I am not even sure if I qualify and I am not under some great debt, I have zero debts, but I am very worried, that is going to change quickly, if I don't find some suitable job.
Since now it's harder than before, because if I don't take meds, I simply die.
Issue is, that I need to find some job over the internet with half IQ I had before (even with 2 ‰ of alcohol in my veins). I am pretty much panicking when I go in front of my house. Agoraphobia is strong. Thus going to some job interview is a no go, at least at this moment.
So yeah, I have been better. Worst thing that I am not sure who to ask for help, since I am not amazingly social person, who has many friends, etc.
Figuring what to do.