So yesterday I learned I may well be on the Autism Spectrum. Unsure how to feel?

[Stop It]

Good morning Era



For a little background, I'm 35, and while I've not really had any actionable mental health crises, have had episodes of mild depression and my mum had severe bipolar disorder which has always been a worry for me throughout my life.



Anyway. In the last couple of years my mental health has took a few knocks. Although I was estranged from my mum, learning of her death at 49 last year is something I still have not processed yet. Coupled with my team at work moving to a new department, under a new boss which has led to a massive increase in attention on the team, along with the stress of being blamed for more things than we were ever responsible for has made my role at work from pleasure to painful.



So that, coupled with the day to day stress of 2 children has lessened my ability to cope with "normal shit" to the point where everything is stressful rather than something simple to deal with and cope with. I booked myself in with my GP for an assessment by their mental health team in response to this. The lady there was the nice, and we spent 30 minutes or so going over everything including my upbringing etc. Again my mum had Bipolar and my parents divorced before I was 10, leaving me with my dad. My dad was also a violent alcoholic who was literally a Jeremy Kyle episode.



So, describing this, and saying how my usual coping mechanisms were not working, I was stopped by the nicest 100mph train you could think of. "So, going by your mannerisms and nature, I'm going to say you need assessing for being on the Autism spectrum".



I went in expecting an assessment for CBT, and suddenly it turns into an assessment on myself on this level? Wasn’t really prepared for such a dramatic and quick change in focus of the assessment.



So, done the initial assessment (For those outside the UK, it's a 2 stage multiple choice questionnaire sued as a pre-referral filter). Well, half of it. The first stage scores you out of 10, with anything over 5 worth further investigation. I scored 10. Because of course I fucking did.



I completed the assessment and got a dual track referral for CBT and for diagnosis into this too. I walked out stunned that someone could so easily and directly tell something I have spent probably my entire life trying to prove wasn't a thing. I hate labels, and have always wanted to be treated as me, rather than something, rather than someone. As a child I didn't talk until I was 3, and from then, the underlying cause while unknown, or uninvestigated, I felt that being on the autism spectrum would be a lazy way to dismiss it, so never really addressed it, or seen it as a major factor to do so.



However as a parent, it needs addressing because of course, my children may need support in similar ways. So the excuses for myself have ran out. So it'll be dealt with. But still, for something to be apparently fucking obvious to everyone, yet ignored by myself for so long is a bit shit. Sorry for the rant but I just wanted to get something out there.



TLDR: Yesterday I learned something I probably knew, but always wanted to deny.

 

[Deleted member 33515]

it's not like you're now walking down the street with a big red A on your shirt. you're still you, and if you want to look it from another angle, you went on your entire life without "being on the spectrum". you just know that now you can count on the experience of someone to help you cope with things. you haven't been given a death sentence.

 

[oliverandm]

Let it out. I think acknowledgement is a good start. Sorry to hear about how stressful all has become though.

I suppose things will get better. My bet is that you were likely always the way you are, but your environment shifted towards something that's not good for you. However, this means you can find peace and happiness, but there are things that need to change in order for you to cope (which seems the challenge). It's easier said than done, I get it.

Just don't paralyze yourself with negativity and bad thoughts about life. You're still alive, which means you can act :)

 

[DrBorisGoltz]

It took me multiple years of therapy to come to the conclusion that my near daily migraines were a disability, and that I couldn't keep denying they've played a huge role in my life.

I understand it's not exactly the same thing, but my therapist described them as a "passenger" on my ship. It's a part of who I am, but I'm still in control of how that affects me, if that makes sense. It's GOOD that you learned this information, but it doesn't define you.

 

[Stop It]

Let it out. I think acknowledgement is a good start. Sorry to hear about how stressful all has become though.

I suppose things will get better. My bet is that you were likely always the way you are, but your environment shifted towards something that's not good for you. However, this means you can find peace and happiness, but there are things that need to change in order for you to cope (which seems the challenge). It's easier said than done, I get it.

Just don't paralyze yourself with negativity and bad thoughts about life. You're still alive, which means you can act :)

Click to shrink...

Of course.

That's what I want back. My "superpower" has always been to be able to step back, assess things logically and deal with them.

I have lost that ability as stress and negatively has lessened my perspective, and emotionally I haven't been able to cope with a lot.

Of course that separation, and the reliance on the logical side of my brain and inability to deal with things well emotionally are key indicators of the autism spectrum. Yes, it's bloody obvious now isn't it.

Basically for the uninitiatied there's 2 methods of thinking and decision making. System or type 1 and 2. 1 is quick fire, emotion based and 2 is slower, logical reasoning.

My system 1 is shit, and I rely on 2. When that fails, as it has, the ability to make emotional responses fail. Thinking about it, it's pretty clear cut but I've always convinced myself that it wasn't anything wrong, just the way I was.

It isn't anything wrong, it is the way I am, and that's why I really am terrified of the labeling. Bah :(

 

[DarkDetective]

The label can only help with acknowledgement. Acknowledgement by yourself, and by the people around you. Getting a label Autist doesn't suddenly change you from one day to the other. You're still you, and you will continue to be you.

I've been diagnosed with a ASS when I was very young. Thankfully, there was a lot of care for me and my parents on how to deal with it. That is, for my environment to adapt to me as an autist, then for me to learn how to behave/adapt to a "normal" environment. After a year in a special course where they learn autist social skills (conversational, empathy, teamwork, everything), I went to special primary and middle school with small classes, providing a safe environment to learn and grow. Most of my social skills have been taught to me; I didn't learn them along the way like "normal" people would. However, I made a lot of progress over the years, and attended a regular university with regular classes, regular people, regular everything, because I thought I was ready for it. And I was! Does that mean I'm not autistic anymore? No, it means I've learned how to deal with it and improve my own happiness and social life, as well as those of the people that have to live with me.

But acknowledgement of the problem (by my parents, in my case) was the very first step, and a label from a professional helped to get access to the right people who could change my mental shape.

Motivation is very important, but if you're struggling with certain traits of yourself, all you can do is try to change them: turn bad behaviour/habits/traits into good ones. And search for help to overcome the process. Talk to your wife (or anyone who you 100% trust) about the things you're dealing with. Be vulnerable to her, and try to find a solution together. Depending on (the size of) the problem, this doesn't even have to involve psychologists or other outsiders.

Acknowledgement is step one.
Self-improvement is step two. And you don't have to tackle this step alone.

Good luck.

 

[vrietje]

I was diagnosed with a mild form of Autism Spectrum Disorder when I was 30. Was still the same person, but it made some of my behavior and experiences more logical. But the therapy I got helped me cope with it. And it resulted in having less outburst and I now can recognize it when i get to many incentives(hope this the right word.. google translate). So it did help me in the end.

 

[johan]

If you're worried about now not being 'normal', keep in mind that none of us are 'normal' to begin with. Some might say we're all on the spectrum somewhere

You're still you! You do seem stressed out and maybe (probably?) traumatized to some extent, so I'd take care of that. Do the CBT, get some exercise, eat healthy food, get enough sleep, etc. Trauma can hit later in life, as it did with me. For me the acknowledgement/label was helpful, because it allowed me to quantify some of my quirks. At the same time, I try not to identify with it too much as it's different for everybody.

However: I am not a mental health professional or anything of the sorts. Just talking from personal experience.

You could always get a second opinion too.

 

[FUME5]

You've lived as yourself for 35 years, you seem to have been doing a pretty good job of it mate.

You can do what you want with the diagnosis.

 

[JonnyDBrit]

As for the whole 'trying to prove you weren't deal', that's fine. Society's understanding of equality is skewed by a presumption of people not 'really' being different, and disabled people of all stripes throw those metrics off. Add in the usual biases against disability in general - seen as tragic plight in all instances, rather than an incidental aspect of one's existence to be accounted for - and you can kinda see how that informs someone like yourself against seeking a diagnosis until it's basically hoisted on you. That's the system we're rather up against; it's an issue that doesn't really rest with you, so don't worry about it.

Either way, this life is navigable, and with a diagnosis, you can now hopefully make a better informed choice as to how you will do so. The simple understanding of one's self as provided by having a framework is a very helpful thing indeed. Though, you have done pretty well for yourself aside of more recent matters, so kudos - a lot of people on the spectrum would struggle to get so far.

We have a community thread here, though as you might expect of a condition often defined by social anxiety, not exactly the most active:

https://www.resetera.com/threads/autistic-era-ot-slippin-on-by-on-asd.13734/

 

[Stop It]

If you're worried about now not being 'normal', keep in mind that none of us are 'normal' to begin with. Some might say we're all on the spectrum somewhere

You're still you! You do seem stressed out and maybe (probably?) traumatized to some extent, so I'd take care of that. Do the CBT, get some exercise, eat healthy food, get enough sleep, etc. Trauma can hit later in life, as it did with me. For me the acknowledgement/label was helpful, because it allowed me to quantify some of my quirks. At the same time, I try not to identify with it too much as it's different for everybody.

However: I am not a mental health professional or anything of the sorts. Just talking from personal experience.

You could always get a second opinion too.

Click to shrink...

I can do most of that.

Sleep is out of my control though! Yey toddlers lol.

I'm sorry if I sound like I'm overreacting, I probably am. It's just a lot to take in and frankly it's probably got to get out there if I'm to get myself back to myself, even if that "normal" is pretty fucking messy lol!

 

[Wackamole]

Just be happy you leaned more about yourself. Accept it as it is but always try and improve yourself. So if there are aspects you dislike, try and fight against those things and improve them. It's not so bad. It's better to know so you can better equip your kids.

The stress however, is more of a problem in my opinion. That's a killer. Literally, but also figuratively. It kills relationships, creativity, personalities, etc.

 

[fleet]

wait. hang on. you went in for a gp appointment and came out with an asd diagnosis? what country are you in, because there's no way that's a valid/reliable diagnosis, not that there's anything wrong with being autistic. source: am a psych

edit: i think i may have read op wrong, you have a referral for a diagnosis if i'm reading it right this time. i would say: 1. i wish you the very best and good luck navigating what is no doubt a very confusing time for you; and 2. you might not actually be autistic. you very well might be, but you also may not. an autism diagnosis requires a speechie, a psych, and an ot to all be like "yep, it's autism". a gp giving you the one over and concluding it's autism (esp when autism and extreme anxiety/acute stress cross over a lot) is not conclusive evidence.

 

[Stop It]

wait. hang on. you went in for a gp appointment and came out with an asd diagnosis? what country are you in, because there's no way that's a valid/reliable diagnosis, not that there's anything wrong with being autistic. source: am a psych

Click to shrink...

UK.

Not a diagnosis but a pathway to it. I've been referred for a full assessment. Going to be honest, it's going to be on the mark somewhere though.

The person I saw was highly experienced, very professional and frankly knew what was up even if I didn't say anything of the sort.

And frankly, it would make sense. I just don't *want* it to make sense!

 

[Cenauru]

Nothing has changed about you, you're still you. It doesn't define you, it just played a part into who you are. Now that you know what it is, you can get better help from therapists and specialists that know how to deal with autism and have more knowledge on what may or may not work for you. Now you can understand the "why" part and focus on improving yourself.

I was diagnosed with autism around 5 years old, and I never put much thought into it until I had graduated high school, it hit me like a goddamn truck: everything was normal to me because I haven't experienced life in any other way but my own. You don't have to identify with it to acknowledge where to spot it out and realize "Yeah, that was definitely because of my autism", it doesn't mean your autism has taken over and made you do something out of your control. Your life hasn't changed, it's very much the same, you just have a better understanding of yourself now.

 

[fleet]

UK.

Not a diagnosis but a pathway to it. I've been referred for a full assessment. Going to be honest, it's going to be on the mark somewhere though.

The person I saw was highly experienced, very professional and frankly knew what was up even if I didn't say anything of the sort.

And frankly, it would make sense. I just don't *want* it to make sense!

Click to shrink...

all good, sorry for reading you wrong!

 

[Stop It]

Nothing has changed about you, you're still you. It doesn't define you, it just played a part into who you are. Now that you know what it is, you can get better help from therapists and specialists that know how to deal with autism and have more knowledge on what may or may not work for you. Now you can understand the "why" part and focus on improving yourself.

I was diagnosed with autism around 5 years old, and I never put much thought into it until I had graduated high school, it hit me like a goddamn truck: everything was normal to me because I haven't experienced life in any other way but my own. You don't have to identify with it to acknowledge where to spot it out and realize "Yeah, that was definitely because of my autism", it doesn't mean your autism has taken over and made you do something out of your control. Your life hasn't changed, it's very much the same, you just have a better understanding of yourself now.

Click to shrink...

That's what I'm doing right now.

Analysing everything with that prism. And yes, I know.

It's not so much understanding myself, but how others see me. I am terrified of being just seem as a label and yet I know I can't control that either way. In fact trying to do so will likely backfire. It probably did subconsciously before.

 

[teacup]

Well at least you know and maybe it helps you figure out how to better handle things. Hopefully in time they will be able to diagnose people earlier and be able to help them and even develop a cure one day. Do they know if it’s genetic?

I have a baby daughter and with how prevalent it is these days I really worry about her. She’s healthy now but she’s only 8 months old. I just dread finding out she has something like this and then all the bullying it entails. Luckily we don’t have a family history of it but still. More research the better :)

 

[tommy7154]

If its effecting you then get diagnosed and get help.

Im almost certainly on the spectrum but dont really give a damn.

 

[Deleted member 14313]

Well at least you know and maybe it helps you figure out how to better handle things. Hopefully in time they will be able to diagnose people earlier and be able to help them and even develop a cure one day. Do they know if it’s genetic?

I have a baby daughter and with how prevalent it is these days I really worry about her. She’s healthy now but she’s only 8 months old. I just dread finding out she has something like this and then all the bullying it entails. Luckily we don’t have a family history of it but still. More research the better :)

Click to shrink...

I do not want a "cure". There is no doubt there are ways in which ASD makes things more difficult for me (i.e. in relating to normal people and thus to society as a whole) but there are benefits from it too. Regardless my ASD is part of my brain and therefore part of who I am. A "cure" for it would kill me and replace me with someone else.

 

[teacup]

I do not want a "cure". There is no doubt there are ways in which ASD makes things more difficult for me (i.e. in relating to normal people and thus to society as a whole) but there are benefits from it too. Regardless my ASD is part of my brain and therefore part of who I am. A "cure" for it would kill me and replace me with someone else.

Click to shrink...

Hey ultimately it’s your choice. I think almost any parent of a child would feel differently though. Much like how some extremists in the deaf community feel that curing deafness is killing their community and who they are, you can’t stop people wanting to have their children to grow up without disabilities or developmental disorders. That said I think unlike deafness for example we are a ways off discovering a cure for autism and other related disorders so the best we can do is manage and support.

 

[Deleted member 14313]

Hey ultimately it’s your choice. I think almost any parent of a child would feel differently though. Much like how some extremists in the deaf community feel that curing deafness is killing their community and who they are, you can’t stop people wanting to have their children to grow up without disabilities or developmental disorders. That said I think unlike deafness for example we are a ways off discovering a cure for autism and other related disorders so the best we can do is manage and support.

Click to shrink...

Thank you for implying that I'm an extremist. What parents feel should always be secondary to what the person with the disorder feels though and if the person with the disorder is not yet able to understand the situation no "cure" should be imposed upon them.

 

[RedSonja]

It's a bloody big spectrum. Don't worry about if if you can. So many people have traits.

 

[fleet]

Well at least you know and maybe it helps you figure out how to better handle things. Hopefully in time they will be able to diagnose people earlier and be able to help them and even develop a cure one day. Do they know if it’s genetic?

I have a baby daughter and with how prevalent it is these days I really worry about her. She’s healthy now but she’s only 8 months old. I just dread finding out she has something like this and then all the bullying it entails. Luckily we don’t have a family history of it but still. More research the better :)

Click to shrink...

can ya not

 

[karnage10]

As a doctor you should feel about autism like you do about diabetes and arterial hypertension. It is a disease with no cure but you have a few traits that will impact your future and you have to make a lot of effort to work around them.

While most psychiatric diseases have the perceived notion that they are really bad, it is not really true. Their effect on your life will depend heavily on your effort to prevent their traits from showing up. Just like in diabetes you should avoid eating high sugary foods. with austism you generally need to train to deal with your social/emotional behavior

I do not want a "cure". There is no doubt there are ways in which ASD makes things more difficult for me (i.e. in relating to normal people and thus to society as a whole) but there are benefits from it too. Regardless my ASD is part of my brain and therefore part of who I am. A "cure" for it would kill me and replace me with someone else.

Click to shrink...

Your comment is such a horrible take. You are saying something like I have [insert disease here] and i can't be treated because I'd lose a part of myself. Take a look:

• Have atrial fibrillation -> You have a stroke -> you cease to be "you"
• Have Arterial Hypertension -> brain damaged that causes dementia -> you cease to be "you"?
• Your CNS is infected by a Virus -> encephalitis -> you cease to be "you"?
• You drink alcohol regularly -> slight brain damage -> you cease to be "You"?

I find it weird that a disease is a cornerstone of your identity instead of a part of it. If you were cured from austism you would still be you, you would just feel differently and probably act differently when emotions and social skills are important. You would still have the same values and give importance to the same things you already do; you wouldn't become "someone else".

My point is that identity shouldn't ever be defined by a single trait. What makes you you is an almost infinite combinations of several past events, choices as well as external forces. Removing or adding a single trait/part should not change your identity.

 

[Deleted member 56909]

Considering I've had to live with it all my life it's nothing life changing. Sure there's some social problems here and there but I'm still managing large community's and talking to people just fine. Hell my condition got consolidated into the autistic spectrum disorder category in the dsm5 as well as a few other things. Originally it was asbergers syndrome but now it's this weird thing.

 

[fleet]

As a doctor you should feel about autism like you do about diabetes and arterial hypertension. It is a disease with no cure but you have a few traits that will impact your future and you have to make a lot of effort to work around them.

While most psychiatric diseases have the perceived notion that they are really bad, it is not really true. Their effect on your life will depend heavily on your effort to prevent their traits from showing up. Just like in diabetes you should avoid eating high sugary foods. with austism you generally need to train to deal with your social/emotional behavior



Your comment is such a horrible take. You are saying something like I have [insert disease here] and i can't be treated because I'd lose a part of myself. Take a look:

• Have atrial fibrillation -> You have a stroke -> you cease to be "you"
• Have Arterial Hypertension -> brain damaged that causes dementia -> you cease to be "you"?
• Your CNS is infected by a Virus -> encephalitis -> you cease to be "you"?
• You drink alcohol regularly -> slight brain damage -> you cease to be "You"?

I find it weird that a disease is a cornerstone of your identity instead of a part of it. If you were cured from austism you would still be you, you would just feel differently and probably act differently when emotions and social skills are important. You would still have the same values and give importance to the same things you already do; you wouldn't become "someone else".

My point is that identity shouldn't ever be defined by a single trait. What makes you you is an almost infinite combinations of several past events, choices as well as external forces. Removing or adding a single trait/part should not change your identity.

Click to shrink...

oh fucking no. no this is such a disgusting, horrible, and straight up wrong take. god i'm angry.

autism is not a disease. you don't "catch" autism. you don't acquire autism through lifestyle decisions. autism will not kill you. autism will not make you sick. perhaps the comorbid associations with autism may impact your health, but an autism diagnosis will not. you do not "recover" from autism. autism is NOT a disease. it is a developmental disorder that impacts every single autistic person differently.

your hot fucking take is harmful. it hurts autistic people. it is the reason autistic people are killed, raped, and abused. you don't come into a thread where someone has received an autism diagnosis, and spread misinformed anti-autism bullshit. get out of here. sorry if this isn't written very well, i'm pretty angry.

please do some reading before spreading your opinions on the internet. here's a few:

https://angryautie.wordpress.com/20...-for-the-study-of-the-neurologically-typical/

https://autisticuk.org/wp-content/u...IC-UK-NEED-TO-KNOW-1-IS-AUTISM-A-DISORDER.pdf

http://www.autreat.com/dont_mourn.html

 

[JonnyDBrit]

Your comment is such a horrible take. You are saying something like I have [insert disease here] and i can't be treated because I'd lose a part of myself. Take a look:

• Have atrial fibrillation -> You have a stroke -> you cease to be "you"
• Have Arterial Hypertension -> brain damaged that causes dementia -> you cease to be "you"?
• Your CNS is infected by a Virus -> encephalitis -> you cease to be "you"?
• You drink alcohol regularly -> slight brain damage -> you cease to be "You"?

I find it weird that a disease is a cornerstone of your identity instead of a part of it. If you were cured from austism you would still be you, you would just feel differently and probably act differently when emotions and social skills are important. You would still have the same values and give importance to the same things you already do; you wouldn't become "someone else".

My point is that identity shouldn't ever be defined by a single trait. What makes you you is an almost infinite combinations of several past events, choices as well as external forces. Removing or adding a single trait/part should not change your identity.

Click to shrink...

I will simply say that this fundamentally fails to get the ways in which autism, once one is aware of it, so intrinsically ties into how you perceive and process the world that it is difficult to truly imagine how you would do so differently. You find it weird because you think of it as a 'disease'; an abberation upon an otherwise ordinary human being. That is not how we, living with this condition and enabled to express ourselves properly, view it.

Considering I've had to live with it all my life it's nothing life changing. Sure there's some social problems here and there but I'm still managing large community's and talking to people just fine. Hell my condition got consolidated into the autistic spectrum disorder category in the dsm5 as well as a few other things. Originally it was asbergers syndrome but now it's this weird thing.

Click to shrink...

'This weird thing' is the standard that's been applied in Europe for a while now, well before the DSM-V in the USA, where there are common variants within a broader spectrum.

 

[karnage10]

oh fucking no. no this is such a disgusting, horrible, and straight up wrong take. god i'm angry.

autism is not a disease. you don't "catch" autism. you don't acquire autism through lifestyle decisions. autism will not kill you. autism will not make you sick. perhaps the comorbid associations with autism may impact your health, but an autism diagnosis will not. you do not "recover" from autism. autism is NOT a disease. it is a developmental disorder that impacts every single autistic person differently.

your hot fucking take is harmful. it hurts autistic people. it is the reason autistic people are killed, raped, and abused. you don't come into a thread where someone has received an autism diagnosis, and spread misinformed anti-autism bullshit. get out of here. sorry if this isn't written very well, i'm pretty angry.

please do some reading before spreading your opinions on the internet. here's a few:

https://angryautie.wordpress.com/20...-for-the-study-of-the-neurologically-typical/

https://autisticuk.org/wp-content/u...IC-UK-NEED-TO-KNOW-1-IS-AUTISM-A-DISORDER.pdf

http://www.autreat.com/dont_mourn.html

Click to shrink...

My last comment as i seem to have insulted you. Sorry i did not meant it that way.

The fact that you think diabetes, arterial hypertesion, atrial fibrilation and being infected by virus as a lifestyle decisions clearly shows how you see the world
For you there isn't diabetes type 1 or LADA. Cardiac rythm is somehow controlled be lifestyle choices, etc.

In your own words autism is developmental disorder, You don't think disorder is a disease?
My take doesn't hurt autistic people. Autistic people get hurt because they are a vulnerable population due to their lack of social skills.

From your very own sources:
"Neurotypical syndrome is a neurobiological disorder characterized by preoccupation with social concerns, delusions of superiority, and obsession with conformity "

"The neurotypical people are a misunderstood people who suffer from a terrible mental syndrome and they need all the support that they can get. "

" are unable to understand anyone who has even a slightly different worldview ; routinely deny that there’s something wrong with them"

----

"nor should we automatically dismiss developmental differences as impairment "

"person with autism develops differently it is not automatically a negative state (i.e. 'disorder') but a difference that needs acknowledgement. "

----
Your sources clearly show autistic people are different from normal people due to lacking social skills. In medicine that lack of development is a disorder/disease. period.

if your problem is with society treating most non-normal people like shit then it is has nothing to due with the fact you have a disorder but because most people will abuse others for their own benefit in a lot of situations.

Note that I did not quote the first article because it is very aggressive and will vilify a lot of people by misrepresenting their words. Carbage post



Again, this is my last comment as i don't want to insult you. You clearly need help and i cannot give it from here. I hope that you value yourself more instead of the disorder you have.

 

[fleet]

My last comment as i seem to have insulted you. Sorry i did not meant it that way.

The fact that you think diabetes, arterial hypertesion, atrial fibrilation and being infected by virus as a lifestyle decisions clearly shows how you see the world
For you there isn't diabetes type 1 or LADA. Cardiac rythm is somehow controlled be lifestyle choices, etc.

In your own words autism is developmental disorder, You don't think disorder is a disease?
My take doesn't hurt autistic people. Autistic people get hurt because they are a vulnerable population due to their lack of social skills.

From your very own sources:
"Neurotypical syndrome is a neurobiological disorder characterized by preoccupation with social concerns, delusions of superiority, and obsession with conformity "

"The neurotypical people are a misunderstood people who suffer from a terrible mental syndrome and they need all the support that they can get. "

" are unable to understand anyone who has even a slightly different worldview ; routinely deny that there’s something wrong with them"

----

"nor should we automatically dismiss developmental differences as impairment "

"person with autism develops differently it is not automatically a negative state (i.e. 'disorder') but a difference that needs acknowledgement. "

----
Your sources clearly show autistic people are different from normal people due to lacking social skills. In medicine that lack of development is a disorder/disease. period.

if your problem is with society treating most non-normal people like shit then it is has nothing to due with the fact you have a disorder but because most people will abuse others for their own benefit in a lot of situations.

Note that I did not quote the first article because it is very aggressive and will vilify a lot of people by misrepresenting their words. Carbage post



Again, this is my last comment as i don't want to insult you. You clearly need help and i cannot give it from here. I hope that you value yourself more instead of the disorder you have.

Click to shrink...

please...read...the sources... all those quotes you added in are tongue in cheek comments about NEUROTYPICALS. i.e., people WITHOUT autism. god idk whether to laugh or cry.

autistic people ARE different. in the same way that you and i are different (thank christ lmao) and have different wants and needs. i am not autistic. however, i worked in the disability field for several years, and so i am extremely passionate about supporting people with disabilities, especially autistic people.

i am angry because you are wrong. you are wrong in the same way that if you claimed the sky is pink you would be wrong. in the medical context of autism, you are wrong. in the social context of autism, you are wrong.

and i am angry because i spent a good portion of my career trying to advocate for autistic people who did not have the resources to fight against people with opinions like you.

yes, autism is a disorder and not a disease (and even the term 'disorder' is heavily contested, if you would take the time to google it). please learn the difference. please take the time to learn more because you are ignorant. this is my last comment also because the time it would take to help you overcome your bigotry would take more energy than i am willing to give you.

 

[Stop It]

As a doctor you should feel about autism like you do about diabetes and arterial hypertension. It is a disease with no cure but you have a few traits that will impact your future and you have to make a lot of effort to work around them.

While most psychiatric diseases have the perceived notion that they are really bad, it is not really true. Their effect on your life will depend heavily on your effort to prevent their traits from showing up. Just like in diabetes you should avoid eating high sugary foods. with austism you generally need to train to deal with your social/emotional behavior



Your comment is such a horrible take. You are saying something like I have [insert disease here] and i can't be treated because I'd lose a part of myself. Take a look:

• Have atrial fibrillation -> You have a stroke -> you cease to be "you"
• Have Arterial Hypertension -> brain damaged that causes dementia -> you cease to be "you"?
• Your CNS is infected by a Virus -> encephalitis -> you cease to be "you"?
• You drink alcohol regularly -> slight brain damage -> you cease to be "You"?

I find it weird that a disease is a cornerstone of your identity instead of a part of it. If you were cured from austism you would still be you, you would just feel differently and probably act differently when emotions and social skills are important. You would still have the same values and give importance to the same things you already do; you wouldn't become "someone else".

My point is that identity shouldn't ever be defined by a single trait. What makes you you is an almost infinite combinations of several past events, choices as well as external forces. Removing or adding a single trait/part should not change your identity.

Click to shrink...

The hell is this.

I haven't got a disease. I have (potentially) got a condition that affects the way my brain is wired. I can't change that wiring. It's literally impossible. I can hopefully find ways to make the most of who I am and better ways to cope with challenges that would be dealt with differently otherwise.

 

[Stop It]

please...read...the sources... all those quotes you added in are tongue in cheek comments about NEUROTYPICALS. i.e., people WITHOUT autism. god idk whether to laugh or cry.

autistic people ARE different. in the same way that you and i are different (thank christ lmao) and have different wants and needs. i am not autistic. however, i worked in the disability field for several years, and so i am extremely passionate about supporting people with disabilities, especially autistic people.

i am angry because you are wrong. you are wrong in the same way that if you claimed the sky is pink you would be wrong. in the medical context of autism, you are wrong. in the social context of autism, you are wrong.

and i am angry because i spent a good portion of my career trying to advocate for autistic people who did not have the resources to fight against people with opinions like you.

yes, autism is a disorder and not a disease (and even the term 'disorder' is heavily contested, if you would take the time to google it). please learn the difference. please take the time to learn more because you are ignorant. this is my last comment also because the time it would take to help you overcome your bigotry would take more energy than i am willing to give you.

Click to shrink...

And it's stuff like this which has always made me fearful of being labelled (because my mum had bipolar I was worried I'd be treated as such).

That kind of thinking is upsetting and not at all what I really want. I want help being me. I don't want to be told I'm damaged goods that needs to be cured.

 

[JonnyDBrit]

And it's stuff like this which has always made me fearful of being labelled (because my mum had bipolar I was worried I'd be treated as such).

That kind of thinking is upsetting and not at all what I really want. I want help being me. I don't want to be told I'm damaged goods that needs to be cured.

Click to shrink...

Oh, right. Since you're in the UK and all, here:

https://www.autism.org.uk/

The National Autistic Society. If you're wanting some wider reading material on current contexts, people's experience, etc, it's worth a shout. To quote their site:

Autistic people see, hear and feel the world differently to other people. If you are autistic, you are autistic for life; autism is not an illness or disease and cannot be 'cured'. Often people feel being autistic is a fundamental aspect of their identity.

Click to shrink...

 

[Morrigan]

It might be a language barrier thing. In French, we have a word called "maladie" which is often used interchangeably for diseases, illnesses, sickness, disorders, conditions. It doesn't mean you are "broken and need to be fixed", and I'm sure karnage10 didn't mean it that way.

Not all diseases, conditions, disorders etc. have a "cure"; in fact, a lot don't. But they may require things like management, therapy or other forms of treatment or medical assistance, or whatever is required to improve your quality of life -- if needed, of course.

 

[AegonSnake]

So that, coupled with the day to day stress of 2 children has lessened my ability to cope with "normal shit" to the point where everything is stressful rather than something simple to deal with and cope with. I booked myself in with my GP for an assessment by their mental health team in response to this. The lady there was the nice, and we spent 30 minutes or so going over everything including my upbringing etc. Again my mum had Bipolar and my parents divorced before I was 10, leaving me with my dad. My dad was also a violent alcoholic who was literally a Jeremy Kyle episode.

Click to shrink...

Kids and work will do that to ANYONE. you have survived a painful childhood. you will be fine. Just stay calm and ask for some stress relievers to take the edge off.

your autism isnt a crutch. Every man will go through that especially in today's world where we have to come home after a stressful day at work and transition into a full time parent instead of getting a break.

give yourself a pat on the back for doing so well and good luck.

p.s easier said than done, but start looking for a different job.

 

[More_Badass]

Stop It I'm 27 and was diagnosed with autism about four years ago. Technically, aspergers, but that's since been redefined as part of the spectrum rather a separate diagnosis. For the longest time, I had hesitant and scared to go a therapist, because if I had autism, that meant there was something wrong with me, right? But actually, the opposite happened once I had a official diagnosis and therapist. All those weird quirks of mine, the struggles and concerns I dealt with, suddenly they made sense, there were strategies to adapt, adjust, be aware of, not just for me but to help improve my family dynamic as well. It was like a fog had been lifted, a puzzle piece clicking into place, and I understood myself whereas before I just felt like a weird outcast who couldn't understand why making friends was so hard when it looked so easy for everyone. So many aspects about myself, incidents and quirks from my childhood and growing up, my mindset and how I thought about things, made sense.

A lot of support becomes available once you have an official diagnosis, and speaking personally, I think having a concrete definable answer to struggles and issues that might have concerned you can be liberating. I regret not getting a diagnosis when I was younger; it would have helped me and my mental well-being immensely. I had suffered from depression for years due to struggles with socialization and not understanding why, but once I had an answer and understanding, so many opportunities opened up.

As a doctor you should feel about autism like you do about diabetes and arterial hypertension. It is a disease with no cure but you have a few traits that will impact your future and you have to make a lot of effort to work around them.

While most psychiatric diseases have the perceived notion that they are really bad, it is not really true. Their effect on your life will depend heavily on your effort to prevent their traits from showing up. Just like in diabetes you should avoid eating high sugary foods. with austism you generally need to train to deal with your social/emotional behavior



Your comment is such a horrible take. You are saying something like I have [insert disease here] and i can't be treated because I'd lose a part of myself. Take a look:

• Have atrial fibrillation -> You have a stroke -> you cease to be "you"
• Have Arterial Hypertension -> brain damaged that causes dementia -> you cease to be "you"?
• Your CNS is infected by a Virus -> encephalitis -> you cease to be "you"?
• You drink alcohol regularly -> slight brain damage -> you cease to be "You"?

I find it weird that a disease is a cornerstone of your identity instead of a part of it. If you were cured from austism you would still be you, you would just feel differently and probably act differently when emotions and social skills are important. You would still have the same values and give importance to the same things you already do; you wouldn't become "someone else".

My point is that identity shouldn't ever be defined by a single trait. What makes you you is an almost infinite combinations of several past events, choices as well as external forces. Removing or adding a single trait/part should not change your identity.

Click to shrink...

What the fuck? Do you realize how insulting and dangerous it is post this kind of bullshit, especially in a thread where someone is looking for understanding about being on the spectrum?

 

[Stop It]

Oh, right. Since you're in the UK and all, here:

https://www.autism.org.uk/

The National Autistic Society. If you're wanting some wider reading material on current contexts, people's experience, etc, it's worth a shout. To quote their site:

Click to shrink...

Thanks.

The more I think about it. The way I deal with the world around me is pretty much typically described there.

Going through the site and reading stuff like

Repetitive behaviour may include arm or hand-flapping, finger-flicking, rocking, jumping, spinning or twirling, head-banging and complex body movements. You may also see the repetitive use of an object, such as flicking a rubber band or twirling a piece of string, or repetitive activities involving the senses (such as repeatedly feeling a particular texture). This is known as 'stimming' or self-stimulating behaviour.

Click to shrink...

I just thought this was just what everyone does. Arrhfdhdhzyxhxjxhxh

 

[More_Badass]

I don't want to be told I'm damaged goods that needs to be cured.

Click to shrink...

You're not. That was my fear too, that if I had aspergers/autism, then I was broken in some way. But you're not damaged, you're just different. You think and perceive the world differently,; that's who you are and always have been. Being diagnosed doesn't change that, but instead makes your own strengths, mindset, personality, quirks and idiosyncrasies clearer, provides a concrete understanding where there might have just been fog and confusion

 

[Coricus]

Well at least you know and maybe it helps you figure out how to better handle things. Hopefully in time they will be able to diagnose people earlier and be able to help them and even develop a cure one day. Do they know if it’s genetic?

I have a baby daughter and with how prevalent it is these days I really worry about her. She’s healthy now but she’s only 8 months old. I just dread finding out she has something like this and then all the bullying it entails. Luckily we don’t have a family history of it but still. More research the better :)

Click to shrink...

Hey ultimately it’s your choice. I think almost any parent of a child would feel differently though. Much like how some extremists in the deaf community feel that curing deafness is killing their community and who they are, you can’t stop people wanting to have their children to grow up without disabilities or developmental disorders. That said I think unlike deafness for example we are a ways off discovering a cure for autism and other related disorders so the best we can do is manage and support.

Click to shrink...

As a doctor you should feel about autism like you do about diabetes and arterial hypertension. It is a disease with no cure but you have a few traits that will impact your future and you have to make a lot of effort to work around them.

While most psychiatric diseases have the perceived notion that they are really bad, it is not really true. Their effect on your life will depend heavily on your effort to prevent their traits from showing up. Just like in diabetes you should avoid eating high sugary foods. with austism you generally need to train to deal with your social/emotional behavior



Your comment is such a horrible take. You are saying something like I have [insert disease here] and i can't be treated because I'd lose a part of myself. Take a look:

• Have atrial fibrillation -> You have a stroke -> you cease to be "you"
• Have Arterial Hypertension -> brain damaged that causes dementia -> you cease to be "you"?
• Your CNS is infected by a Virus -> encephalitis -> you cease to be "you"?
• You drink alcohol regularly -> slight brain damage -> you cease to be "You"?

I find it weird that a disease is a cornerstone of your identity instead of a part of it. If you were cured from austism you would still be you, you would just feel differently and probably act differently when emotions and social skills are important. You would still have the same values and give importance to the same things you already do; you wouldn't become "someone else".

My point is that identity shouldn't ever be defined by a single trait. What makes you you is an almost infinite combinations of several past events, choices as well as external forces. Removing or adding a single trait/part should not change your identity.

Click to shrink...

My last comment as i seem to have insulted you. Sorry i did not meant it that way.

The fact that you think diabetes, arterial hypertesion, atrial fibrilation and being infected by virus as a lifestyle decisions clearly shows how you see the world
For you there isn't diabetes type 1 or LADA. Cardiac rythm is somehow controlled be lifestyle choices, etc.

In your own words autism is developmental disorder, You don't think disorder is a disease?
My take doesn't hurt autistic people. Autistic people get hurt because they are a vulnerable population due to their lack of social skills.

From your very own sources:
"Neurotypical syndrome is a neurobiological disorder characterized by preoccupation with social concerns, delusions of superiority, and obsession with conformity "

"The neurotypical people are a misunderstood people who suffer from a terrible mental syndrome and they need all the support that they can get. "

" are unable to understand anyone who has even a slightly different worldview ; routinely deny that there’s something wrong with them"

----

"nor should we automatically dismiss developmental differences as impairment "

"person with autism develops differently it is not automatically a negative state (i.e. 'disorder') but a difference that needs acknowledgement. "

----
Your sources clearly show autistic people are different from normal people due to lacking social skills. In medicine that lack of development is a disorder/disease. period.

if your problem is with society treating most non-normal people like shit then it is has nothing to due with the fact you have a disorder but because most people will abuse others for their own benefit in a lot of situations.

Note that I did not quote the first article because it is very aggressive and will vilify a lot of people by misrepresenting their words. Carbage post



Again, this is my last comment as i don't want to insult you. You clearly need help and i cannot give it from here. I hope that you value yourself more instead of the disorder you have.

Click to shrink...

What the *beep*ing *beep*?

I'm socially awkward, not a *beeping* patient zero for the zombie apocalypse.

What the *beep* is wrong with you people?

And don't even start with the "I'm sorry you're offended" bullcrap.

 

[Nostremitus]

You haven't changed.

Your understanding of yourself has.

You haven't lost anything, only gained.

 

[JonnyDBrit]

Thanks.

The more I think about it. The way I deal with the world around me is pretty much typically described there.

Going through the site and reading stuff like

I just thought this was just what everyone does. Arrhfdhdhzyxhxjxhxh

Click to shrink...

The revelations, once they kick in, can be astounding.

Just... things get clearer.

 

[Apocrypha]

You'll be fine, the only thing that really changes is now knowing how to more effectively work on your weakness.

 

[More_Badass]

The revelations, once they kick in, can be astounding.

Just... things get clearer.

Click to shrink...

Absolutely. Like so much of my childhood made sense after being diagnosed

 

[Stop It]

The revelations, once they kick in, can be astounding.

Just... things get clearer.

Click to shrink...

Yeah. The sensory stuff, while not all applicable, a lot is.

Can I ask a question to those who are known and diagnosed on the spectrum and those otherwise?

You're in a crowded bar or restaurant. The noise of the place is incessant. I try to focus on a single set of conversation to gain my bearings and at least make sense of the place.

I often do this and then fail to notice or even hear when people are directly addressing myself. I thought this was just what everyone did in these situations. Reading the Autism UK site has made me wonder if that's the case.

I don't want to pre judge things but being honest with myself I'm going to go through each resource with a fine tooth, and try to understand how it applies to me before my assessment so it isn't an unknown going in. I think from the description I was given I'm going to have to do a pre assessment form, and then they'll call me in for a DISCO?

 

[exodus]

I probably am too, as is my father. Not that I've been diagnosed, but I've come to accept I probably do lie somewhere along the spectrum of either autism or ADD. Either that or I'm just a selfish introvert.

I like to spend time by myself more than with others, for the most part. I get stressed easily in certain situations (e.g. crowded shopping), although not by others (crowded concerts). I focus a lot of my attention on narrow subjects, and when I find something new I like to do a deep dive on it (researching purchases, cooking recipes) and spend far more time reading up on it than actually doing it. While I feel empathetic in cases, I tend to act selfishly in cases that concern me. Though, I don't have the extreme focus that I usually see characterized by Autism....my mind tends to wander a lot, to the point where I'll unkowingly be thinking about something for 5 minutes and forget that I was even listening to an audiobook.

Maybe it's autism, maybe it's ADHD, or maybe it's nothing at all. I just try to be aware of my weaknesses and try my best to overcome them or at least be willing to put myself in uncomfortable situations. I've seen what happens when you don't, as my dad now has pretty crippling social anxiety.

 

[Kolya]

Holy fuck at the people saying Autism is a disease and needs curing... I am astounded that that line of thinking can still happen.

 

[MrNewVegas]

My wife is certain I have it as well. My main issues are that I get very panicky if there is a set out plan and timetable and it is diverted. For example if we are all ready to leave and my wife says “let’s cuddle for 10 minutes” I get in a panic attack.

Do you go through attacks like that OP?

 

[ScrappyBivouac]

I feel for ya, OP. I also tend to get disproportionately stressed when a situation seems outside the realm of logical analysis. But life throws that shit at us anyway. I've long suspected that I'm autistic, but haven't really sought out a diagnosis because I know the likely result and hell, I am who I am.

Despite not having gone through your specific situation, though, I will echo others in saying I think acknowledgement is one of the biggest steps towards happiness. I actually sometimes deal with stress by reminding myself of my own strengths and limitations and coming to terms with them. I don't know if that works for everybody but it sure does for me.

 

[More_Badass]

Yeah. The sensory stuff, while not all applicable, a lot is.

Can I ask a question to those who are known and diagnosed on the spectrum and those otherwise?

You're in a crowded bar or restaurant. The noise of the place is incessant. I try to focus on a single set of conversation to gain my bearings and at least make sense of the place.

I often do this and then fail to notice or even hear when people are directly addressing myself. I thought this was just what everyone did in these situations. Reading the Autism UK site has made me wonder if that's the case.

I don't want to pre judge things but being honest with myself I'm going to go through each resource with a fine tooth, and try to understand how it applies to me before my assessment so it isn't an unknown going in. I think from the description I was given I'm going to have to do a pre assessment form, and then they'll call me in for a DISCO?

Click to shrink...

Sensory stuff like that can definitely be an aspect. For example, the place where I work is pretty understanding of those issues and lets people wear noise-cancelling headphones to handle that if they have to. For me, the issue is loud noises; I could never handle a club due to the volume and pounding, it’s too much for me

 

[lunarworks]

Think of it this way: You now know why you are the way you are, and how to improve yourself.