So there are these things called "chips" that this little club gives out AwesomeKev. I suggest you look into it... I think most importantly you would help a lot of people, and that will help your sobriety in turn.
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So there are these things called "chips" that this little club gives out AwesomeKev. I suggest you look into it... I think most importantly you would help a lot of people, and that will help your sobriety in turn.
I got 2 injections of vivitrol before and the place I went to the doctor that was injecting me retired and the replacement refused. Perhaps I should've just listened to the doctor and got the pill form Revia. On it, I feel as if my cravings went down slightly but nothing to an extreme extent, It was a nice mental safezone though and I was feeling better maybe it had nothing to do with vivitrol as I was still very early in my recovery. My lack injection was over a month ago, my cravings havent surged since off of it. One thing I noticed is I seem to get heated easier and the world has a darker outlook. I just hit month 4 the other day and while I dont really necessarily feel the need to drink on the daily, my past drink habits of hiding everything under several beverages and not dealing with life is still a problem I need to address as I continue to relearn life and rethink my approach on life that I dont need alcohol to function and be happy.
Thanks! Yep, coming up on 2 years soon. I gotta say my drinking days feel quite distant now, like it was a long long time ago. What I do to inspire others like you said is give money to a local foundation that does talks in schools about alcohol and drug addiction. I feel that if we can make the younger generation (I'm in my mid-thirties) more aware of the potentially addictive and destructive nature of alcohol, then we can have fewer people wasting their life away drunk. Or they'll do it for a while, like me, but maybe they'll kick the habit sooner. Sure wish I did. Still, very proud of myself. And congrats to you as well of course!
Had a drinking dream (nightmare) last night. Woke up feeling so relieve. I even had that moment in the actual dream where I was all pissed off and disappointed that I drank. I don't think it means anything, just random old memories resurfacing i suppose.
Have y'all had/have any of these kinds of dreams?
Have y'all had/have any of these kinds of dreams?
Been having trouble recently. I've been under a lot of stress due to weird work related drama and because I've been putting a lot of pressure on myself to get serious with a girl I have been seeing recently. Personally feel like I've been turning the corner on my life recently and I don't want this minotaur to crush my optimism or opportunity to have what I've wanted for so long. I'm fitter than I've ever been since college, riding my bike and running 5Ks regularly, I am not constantly feeling guilty and afraid of meeting people and if things don't work out I don't want to fall back into being the drunken depressed very overweight cave person I was for most of my 20s
You belong here. It's a big step to admit you have a problem and you're addressing it. You're not alone
You belong here. It's a big step to admit you have a problem and you're addressing it. You're not alone
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Yeah.
I had those dreams for about 5 years after getting sober, but I haven't had one in the last year or so.
Lol the hit your sleeping patterns take is no joke. Have you tried melatonin in the meantime?
As the other poster said, something natural like melatonin can help. Scheduled, regular sleep at the same time every night has been a game changer for me. Try to keep a regular sleep schedule. Also, a little bit of exercise 3-5 days a week helps tire me out by the end of the day, or just rub a mile a day. Anything to drain some energy and make you a little more tired.
Congrats and good luck!!
Nearly a year sober. I never thought that craving, constant itch to drink would leave me but it has. It's like when I was a kid and never had a drink before. But I know what will happen if I take that first sip, just relieved the raw addiction has left me.
I'm... not doing so well. Actually worse than I've been in a while.
Life has been beating me down and I just can't handle being sober for long periods of time. It's totally wrecking me.
Drinking for social occasions is fine, I still do that and it's a great way to get out there and socialize. But drinking alone in my apartment after work is just... stupid. I only do it to kill the void, but then the void is worse when I wake up. Maybe it will be easier to manage once I return to the US and can live in a more comfortable environment.
Life has been beating me down and I just can't handle being sober for long periods of time. It's totally wrecking me.
Drinking for social occasions is fine, I still do that and it's a great way to get out there and socialize. But drinking alone in my apartment after work is just... stupid. I only do it to kill the void, but then the void is worse when I wake up. Maybe it will be easier to manage once I return to the US and can live in a more comfortable environment.
Oh I have, but I also have really bad anxiety. I'm also on Zoloft, Ambien (when needed).
I'm sure part of it is mental, but it's just killing me. lol.
Thankfully I do manage to get SOME sleep. Although not much. It's like 3-4 hours tops. I can usually put something on and get myself tired again.
Thank you very much. I definitely started using casually, but it really became a constant. I was basically always high, even if a slight bit. That being said, I'm not opposed to the legalization as I know there is value in it for some. I just believe I had my fun. I'm 27 now, so I need to get my life together.
My brothers are in town and I had to turn down a 4hr all you can drink this weekend. I gotta pop an edible and meet up with them afterwards.
This is the longest I've gone without drinking, 4 months and counting. The one difference I can feel is that I'm less depressed and can easily ward off feelings of self-pity.
This is the longest I've gone without drinking, 4 months and counting. The one difference I can feel is that I'm less depressed and can easily ward off feelings of self-pity.
I been on that 3-4hr streak for months on end. Good luck, it's no joke hahaha. Try to step your sleep game up if you can.
I've found that being sober is usually a lot more fun.
1. I remember everything that happens
2. I know I didn't embarrass myself or anyone else
3. I actually have fun and feel good about it the next day.
4. I get to break balls and fuck with whoever is drinking. Not recommended for everyone, but the company I keep welcomes that sort of thing
5. The first time (and now most times) I went out and friends drank, I had the most amazing feeling of success. I just ride that and take pride.
You got this.
I have them every so often, maybe once a month or so, and wake up super anxious. Some of them seem so real.
I've thought about getting the one day at a time coin tatted on my hand as a lol reminder when times get tough and my mind tries tricking me into thinking alcohol will helpI know it may not be popular, but i love tattoos, anyone ever think about getting a sobriety tattoo?
I'll be sober for a year on July 1st and want to get one. I'm a musician, my whole life has been centered around music and some of my favorite bands and songs have helped me get through my darkest days and help me believe in msyelf. I honestly don't know where I would be without some of the music I've used to inspire me over the last 7 or 8 years... probably still drinking tbh.
I was thinking these 30 Seconds To Mars lyrics on my shin, but without the arrow part, just the lyrics in maybe some nice elaborate cursive or something...
or, lyrics from another Mars song...
You guys have any or have any ideas of getting something to celebrate or remind you of your resolve to commit to sobriety?
So after years and years of drinking, a lot of it done in secret when my partner was in the same room at all times of the day, I've finally hit rock bottom. I think things are over, she says she misses me but the alcohol is clearly too big of an issue. I need to quit, I've tried to so many times and even ended up in the hospital, but after taking a long leave of absence from work to try and address all my anxiety and stress issues, it's now readily apparent that the alcohol is the problem. I've moved back with my mum and have asked her to kick me out if I end up drunk again.
The other alternative is seeking the help of AA but the thought of meeting new people and talking openly about this is terrifying to me. I need to make sure that Sunday the 7th of April 2019 is the last day I'll ever drink alcohol again. Its completely destroyed me emotionally, I don't even really feel anything anymore, I don't enjoy doing anything (other than drinking, but that's obviously killing me slowly), I need to fix my life and discover what I actually want to do with my life from now on.
Sorry for the rant.
The other alternative is seeking the help of AA but the thought of meeting new people and talking openly about this is terrifying to me. I need to make sure that Sunday the 7th of April 2019 is the last day I'll ever drink alcohol again. Its completely destroyed me emotionally, I don't even really feel anything anymore, I don't enjoy doing anything (other than drinking, but that's obviously killing me slowly), I need to fix my life and discover what I actually want to do with my life from now on.
Sorry for the rant.
Thanks for sharing your story. It's most certainly not a rant, these things help me with my sobriety.
I was a big hider too. So glad that's over. You could freely search my whole house now - I can't promise you won't find some hidden bottles but I've long since forgotten they were there :P. It helps me to know that your and my stories are in no way unique. 7.6 billion people in the world - quite a few others have done it by probability alone.
Question is where you go from here... a "civilized, controlled" drunk may be some small hope (the old "switch to wine" story or "only socially") and use some form of denial, or accept a new way of life at least for today.
You aren't required to talk. Find a good set of meetings or try and find a home group and then open up a little. It's recommended or at least I've been told that you really should only open up your guts fully to your sponsor AA and the program are just a pathway to maintaining sobriety . Just remember no one is there judging you, everyone there is in recovery and going through the same struggles.
Yo your first month not drinking is difficult as hell
my first year not drinking was almost exactly like my first month not drinking
it is unspeakably hard. If you do it alone, it's freaking miserable. Get yourself to AA and a sponsor
it gets so much easier when it's a team effort
I'm in AA, outpatient, on the Vivitrol shot, and doing individual therapy. Life has become incredibly easy when you're taking care of yourself.
Congratulations buddy! I'm in day 294 myself and I'm here to tell you it gets even easier. I'm not perfect, there are plenty of days I screw up my diet or don't workout, binge a little too much Netflix or whatever. But I rarely ever think about drinking anymore and it's a lovely feeling. Keep it up my dood!
Back in 1998 ish When I was 26 or so years old, I developed what was a real bad drinking problem. It was the culmination of the prior 9 years before that. I actually started drinking late compared to most and did not start drinking until I was 17. It was a slow, long process where eventually I was basically blacking out at least once a week by the time I was 26. At least once. The other times I was not blacking out, I was sloppy and had anger issues. I also had no problem doing other shit. But drinking was the big issue for sure.
At my lowest point, I had been dating my an awesome girl at the time for about 4 months when I had a particularly bad episode. She had a get together with about 15 people. I still do not know what happened, all I know is she said to me when I woke up on the floor of her apartment "You don't remember anything from last night do you? I really do not want to relive what happened so all I will say is I have never been so embarrassed. So it is really simple, either you think about getting sober or we are never going to work out and we can just end it now."
Alcoholism runs in my family. I also knew she was the woman I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. So I did exactly that. I got sober. On my own.
I did not touch anything at all for close to 5 years except for nicotine.
Eventually once I knew I had alcohol at a place I no longer wanted it, I started smoking weed again. I still partake in it now and then but I can go months without touching it. In fact it has been over 60 days since I last smoked.
I have actually also drank at a few weddings. About 5 total over the past 15 years. And it was always no more than a drink or two just not to be a total stick in the mud. Turns out I could control it if I wanted to, I just have no desire to do so. It has been over 2 years since I drank anything actually and the last time was another wedding. I just do a shot or two to celebrate with whomever is getting married basically. That is literally all.
So I am not technically sober sober, but I am the closest I ever thought I could be especially looking back at that 26 year old kid who had a real problem. That is for damn sure.
There is another huge silver lining to my story as well. That girl I mentioned above who gave me the ultimatum, she is still my wife and we have been happily married for over 18 years now.
At my lowest point, I had been dating my an awesome girl at the time for about 4 months when I had a particularly bad episode. She had a get together with about 15 people. I still do not know what happened, all I know is she said to me when I woke up on the floor of her apartment "You don't remember anything from last night do you? I really do not want to relive what happened so all I will say is I have never been so embarrassed. So it is really simple, either you think about getting sober or we are never going to work out and we can just end it now."
Alcoholism runs in my family. I also knew she was the woman I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. So I did exactly that. I got sober. On my own.
I did not touch anything at all for close to 5 years except for nicotine.
Eventually once I knew I had alcohol at a place I no longer wanted it, I started smoking weed again. I still partake in it now and then but I can go months without touching it. In fact it has been over 60 days since I last smoked.
I have actually also drank at a few weddings. About 5 total over the past 15 years. And it was always no more than a drink or two just not to be a total stick in the mud. Turns out I could control it if I wanted to, I just have no desire to do so. It has been over 2 years since I drank anything actually and the last time was another wedding. I just do a shot or two to celebrate with whomever is getting married basically. That is literally all.
So I am not technically sober sober, but I am the closest I ever thought I could be especially looking back at that 26 year old kid who had a real problem. That is for damn sure.
There is another huge silver lining to my story as well. That girl I mentioned above who gave me the ultimatum, she is still my wife and we have been happily married for over 18 years now.
man thats a beautiful and inspiring story, thanks for sharing :) it stuff like this that helps me keep going, to know it can be done and how rewarding it can be. congratulations to you and your wife, sounds like y'all really deserve each other
Not a problem at all. I honestly hesitated but the primary reason I decided to do so was I really was hoping I would get across the point that if I could do it, I do feel like most anyone can. I was in an awful place I would not wish on my worst enemy.
As I said I know I am not technically sober sober these days, but I was for 5 years, the years that really counted and allowed me to get my act together and control my demons so to speak. It may be close to 15 years later and I may not be truly sober in the eyes of others, but I feel like I am pretty damn close all things considered. I am in control and that is what I always wanted. It is at a point my wife actually asks me if I want a drink, which I never thought would happen considering what has happened. I know I can control things now but it means more to me that she knows I can. Much more to me.
I also felt bad sharing as I am not completely and truly sober. I have to stress I respect the hell out of everyone and anyone who chooses true actual sobriety.
And thank you very much, without my wife I may not be here right now. I know that sounds dramatic and like hyperbole, but she chose save me and also more importantly, gave me a reason for wanting to save myself. She could have very easily just say fuck this, I am ditching this loser before he really causes me pain, but something made her decide to try and help me. She is literally my everything.
Edit: Nvm, oversharing again.
Anyway, I need to take it easy for a while. Cross your fingers and pray for me.
Anyway, I need to take it easy for a while. Cross your fingers and pray for me.
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Anyone have days where they feel like they've taken a step back mentally?
A coworker was being extremely annoying and distracting this morning, and rather than accepting I have no control over his actions and moving on, I snapped at him and said, "You're annoying the shit out of me."
I tried to apologize later, but he didn't want to hear it.
A coworker was being extremely annoying and distracting this morning, and rather than accepting I have no control over his actions and moving on, I snapped at him and said, "You're annoying the shit out of me."
I tried to apologize later, but he didn't want to hear it.
All the time. Progress not perfection with this stuff though. The only thing you have to do 100% correctly is not drink. Little slips or relapses with our emotions or mentally will happen... just need to keep going.
Good on you for trying to apologize - that's the right thing. Go easy on yourself.
Sounds perfectly natural and acceptable to me that you told him he's annoying the shit out of you if he was legit being annoying, so long as you don't use it as the reason to pick up a drink.
He noticed I was getting distracted by the constant traffic of people while installing a light on a 10' ladder over an active doorway in the elevator lobby of a new building. He was trying to be supportive in some way by telling me to not get distracted. Although, it had the exact opposite effect for me.
Just imagine you're nervous a laborer who's high, is going to knock over your ladder with his mini dumpster, and every time you check to see if the lobby is clear to work, your coworker is screaming your name. After the fifth time, I started to ignore him, which made him more frustrated, and made him shout my name and try to remind to not get distracted. I snapped some time shortly after that.
Every fucking time I was just about to start working again after checking to see if it was safe to work, some dumbass below is shouting your name.
We ended up speaking after lunch, and I did my best to apologize. I told him it was unfair to treat him like that, and rather than snapping at him, I will walk away and reset myself next time.
I will say it does suck sometimes that you have to apologize to people who are unaware of their own actions. I guess I just have to hope that my apology will make him aware of his actions in the future.
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Oh and it was also one of those days, where every part of my recovery was getting tested. My boss couldn't make up his mind on what task I should be working on (focusing on one thing at a time.) Other coworkers just took expensive power tools from my gang box without asking (self-respect and boundaries.) I woke up exhausted, and then stepped in human shit while waiting for the 2 train this afternoon (taking care of my body).
I guess it's good that I noticed my failings today, but it's also frustrating to see me fall back into my old ways of snapping at people or letting my anger fester.
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I did beat this shit. Took benzodiazepines, anti-anxiety meds and a psychiatrist but I went and did it. Rescheduled the whole tube down the stomach thing to August but will try t wiggle out since I have 0 problems anymore. That's the real reason why I can buy Sims 4 and hundreds of dollars worth of DLC and pre-order Borderlands 3 mega super deluxe edition. I'm not rich. I am just saving hundreds a week just from no booze! It's a life changer!
Drunk-ERA believe me, life is way better this way! We all can do it!
Yep, 100%. And congratulations! I was able to afford my own one bedroom apartment, something I never had throughout my 20's, all because I quit drinking, drugging and smoking. and it is glorious! Runnin' round nekkid like nobodies business!
That's amazing. Congrats man.
I'm picking up 4 months after a slip with pot. I want to be substance free, but don't begrudge others for doing it another way.
Still haven't drank since October 22, 2017.
Hey everyone, I come from a home with a mom that is a recovering alcoholic. I was there while she started her journey to recovery and saw how hard it is, but she has managed to be 7 years sober now and she doesn't regret a thing. I saw this topic pop up and I just wanted to wish everyone the best, getting help and going into recovery is absolutely the best path to take and no matter how hard it is just know that things will be better once you pass that hurdle. It's a life long struggle but it's a struggle well worth dealing with.
You can do this, I believe in all of you.
You can do this, I believe in all of you.
Dude, 100% with the bolded part, I just find myself smh at some of the topics and discussion that happens in them.
Been doing great here, will be 1 year stone cold sober on July 1st! Since then I've even given up coffee and switched to a vegetarian diet. I feel amazing and stupidly proud of myself to say the least. Thanks for checkin in! Hope all is well with you too.
Thank you so much for this post! I'm sure someone needed this and that's exactly what this topic is for.
That's what I am hoping for, I know for some people just some simple words can be what is needed for that push. <3
Yeah your words really helped me. I'm going through one of those tough periods. Don't want to drink, but do want to numb out and smoke in particular.
I've mentioned this many times before and I'm in therapy and ACoA and close to my AA sponsor with it, but I grew up in a house with a good amount of domestic abuse. I get guilt feelings about it though - we were always well off, and there was never anything worse than bruises, but I did witness my mom go through some terrible shit - lots of screaming and crying. Like many, it stopped when my sister and I got to our teens (coincidentally when my dad "reformed" - i.e. switched to wine). I repressed a lot of this through my drinking and it came out when I got sober. My mom's confirmed it but wants to leave it in the past.
Anyway, I've been doing real well the past months, but this past week in particular I've been dwelling on it. Someone told me I'm "too sensitive" and that's one of those things that has always triggered me and put me in a real funk. I try to live the recovery mantra of living in the present and "being where your feet are" but it's been tough recently. It's great when I can cause my current life is great - good job, wife, sober... but I keep flashing back.
Anyway I'll be sure to stay clean. Just need to keep getting this out so this passes.
I'd argue that right now there's no such thing as too sensitive - we've spent a chunk of our lives refusing to deal with our emotions and instead using / drinking to get away from them. It's making up for lost time. :D
I've also been resonating with the idea that acceptance is the answer to my problems, not just acceptance of other people, places, and things, but of who I am currently. I don't have to accept that I can't change - in fact, I know that's not the case, but I have to accept I am who I am right now.
ODAAT. One Day at a Time, but also One Decision at a Time
I'm back on the sober train again. Trying at least. Just at day 20 today. I had made it about 20 days before my last slip up. I got 4 weddings and a vacation coming up in the next 2 months so we will see how long this lasts. I've been trying to not put too much into the number of days I go without. The frequency has gone down significantly and I'm happy with that. I know that I do love being sober though. I've been doing so much outdoor activities and feeling great and in good shape. When I slip up I go hard though, thats not good. I am just much better off without.
Last few sober attempts I made it 4 months then fell back into it, hard. Then another 2 month stint and fell off. Its good to know I have the power to stop when I want. I just cant seem to shake falling back into the habit. Last few times I went it solo and this time I have a good buddy doing it with me which helps a lot. Don't feel like such an outcast all the time. He's always down for some sober activities. But holy fuck EVERYONE is an alcoholic. Its ridiculous. Seems like nobody can do anything without involving getting tanked.
Last Saturday my friend and I spent the day cliff diving and swimming in a lake while everyone else was laying in bed feeling like shit all day when it was so nice out. It felt so nice not to be feeling like that myself. Crazy how I start excelling at every aspect of my life when im not drinking.. well outside of hooking up with randoms. Guess its a fair trade.
Hope everyone is doing well.
Last few sober attempts I made it 4 months then fell back into it, hard. Then another 2 month stint and fell off. Its good to know I have the power to stop when I want. I just cant seem to shake falling back into the habit. Last few times I went it solo and this time I have a good buddy doing it with me which helps a lot. Don't feel like such an outcast all the time. He's always down for some sober activities. But holy fuck EVERYONE is an alcoholic. Its ridiculous. Seems like nobody can do anything without involving getting tanked.
Last Saturday my friend and I spent the day cliff diving and swimming in a lake while everyone else was laying in bed feeling like shit all day when it was so nice out. It felt so nice not to be feeling like that myself. Crazy how I start excelling at every aspect of my life when im not drinking.. well outside of hooking up with randoms. Guess its a fair trade.
Hope everyone is doing well.
Thanks for your kind words Cybit. You've helped a lot of people in this thread since I started posting in it.
I don't have an issue with being called sensitive, as if it's a dig at my manhood or something - I don't give a shit about that. It's that it diminishes my feelings... was my experience really not so bad (i.e. the "mysterious" normal family)? I don't believe it entitles me to anything in life nor provides an excuse for my alcoholism, but the way I live now is such a 180 from how I was raised that I'm grieving for the childhood me (who I still feel disassociated from) and my other family members.
But you're right about acceptance. In addition to not worrying about others thoughts about me (a constant problem of mine), I need to accept my own feelings as true and not let them be dictated or belittled by others. I do think I have some tendencies to disassociate and I feel the need to like build a narrative as agreed on by a third person, but I need to just be in my body and live from there.