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Sober Era? Let's Stay Sober

Cybit

Member
Oct 25, 2017
1,007
676 Days sober today
Congrats!

I'm still struggling. The main reason I fall back on alcohol, aside from actually wanting the buzz and sense of release, is because I'm living abroad, and I'm deathly lonely or bored most of the time.

I've said this before, but I really hope going home next month will help me cut back or stop altogether. But I'd really like to do it before then, because I'm very worried about my health.
Loneliness is the killer in sobriety for sure. Based on everything you've said, I don't think cutting back will last very long tbh. But definitely start working on trying to make friends now - if it were as easy as just flipping a switch, most of us would have done it a long time ago. I used to be able to go weeks / months between drinks, and I kept trying to get back to that place and I never could. It is not always easy, but I find myself in a much better place most of the time having abstained / continuing to do the 12 step thing.

4 Months today. Holy shit. I’m fucking proud of myself. I’ve never been this sober, relaxed, calm, and organized in my life. This thread has been a huge help and I love how supportive we all are.

Remember we’re in this together!
Woo! Congrats!
 

Yerba_Sutra

Member
Oct 26, 2017
4,643
Appalachia
One year!

I'm really sorry I'm not doing more to engage in here. I hope everyone is doing okay in their journeys, and my inbox is always open if anyone needs to talk. Especially after recent events I need to spend more time in these community threads as opposed to the circus of the main pages.
 

Cybit

Member
Oct 25, 2017
1,007
The Etika thread reminded me why I cut down my usage of this place dramatically. The community at large does not believe in rehabilitation (unless they know you personally / like you already) and is not particularly well versed in any kind of mental illness. Big chunk of the folks that migrated here were the ones who wanted to burn others to feed their endorphin highs. :/

Day 832 for me. :)
 

Awesome Kev

Member
Jan 10, 2018
1,379
Daytona Beach
The Etika thread reminded me why I cut down my usage of this place dramatically. The community at large does not believe in rehabilitation (unless they know you personally / like you already) and is not particularly well versed in any kind of mental illness. Big chunk of the folks that migrated here were the ones who wanted to burn others to feed their endorphin highs. :/

Day 832 for me. :)
It’s true and quite a shame. People are way too quick to jump on a hate train here when they should be taking time to investigate and understand. Still a better option than the old place, but things are staring to get out of hand and the mods seem to be a part of it.

Anywho... congrats on being sober for so long!
 

JetSetSoul

Member
Oct 28, 2017
1,019
It clears things up to see how communities view mental health. Especially working round addiction now, people come in saying the worst stuff, and leave well adjusted. I have so much faith in the capacity to improve.

Day 960 !!
 

SolVanderlyn

Member
Oct 28, 2017
7,753
Going three or four days without a drink at a time now. Already feeling better.

Goal is to keep spacing them out more until I can just stop entirely.
 

Jombie

The Fallen
Oct 27, 2017
5,384
Alabama
I’ve been a binge drinker since my teens, and I’m trying to quit. I bought a half a case of beer a couple of weeks ago. I told myself I’d just drink half, and when I went to sleep I thought I’d drank 7 or 8. I wake up and found I drank all of them; I was so hungover I had to miss work. I lied to my wife and family about it.

When I drink, I can’t just drink a couple, and I usually won’t stop until I just can’t drink anymore. I also have major depression, and I’ve been drinking more than usual. Before this, I was downing pints or half-bottles of whiskey in a night and then trying to hide it.

My dad is an alcoholic, and I probably would be too if I didn’t have a daughter. Depression and addiction runs on both sides of my family. I know it’s bad and it doesn’t help, but I feel really guilty about being so embarrassed that I have to lie about it. So, I’m just going to try and stop and find something to fill the void.
 

shnurgleton

Member
Oct 27, 2017
10,512
Boston
I'm... Having trouble

All of January, I was dry. Not a drop the whole month. It was a monkish existence but I felt OK. Not brilliant, not awful, but blank and fine. I was quietly happy about it

Feb rolled around, rewarded myself with a bottle of scotch. That lasted about 36 hours. Became a drinker again. Met my girlfriend shortly after my birthday in March, having the time of my life since, but for the fucking drinking alone at home which I can't seem to stop doing

Been "working from home" today nursing a hangover with about a case of new beers and I feel like abject shit. I don't understand why I can't treat my anxieties with something healthier. I want to be a better man for my girlfriend. I don't want to hurt her with this embarrassment of mine. I need help
 

Pwnz

Member
Oct 28, 2017
6,711
Places
I'm... Having trouble

All of January, I was dry. Not a drop the whole month. It was a monkish existence but I felt OK. Not brilliant, not awful, but blank and fine. I was quietly happy about it

Feb rolled around, rewarded myself with a bottle of scotch. That lasted about 36 hours. Became a drinker again. Met my girlfriend shortly after my birthday in March, having the time of my life since, but for the fucking drinking alone which I can't seem to stop doing

Been "working from home" today nursing a hangover with about a case of new beers and I feel like abject shit. I don't understand why I can't treat my anxieties with something healthier. I need help
Yeah, unfortunately for us alcoholics we can be sober for years but as soon as we resume drinking we are exactly where we left off. It's not like coffee where abstaining for weeks and 1 cup is like 10 before.

Probably should look into a therapist that can prescribe the Sinclair method or start looking for an AA group that fits your beliefs.
 

Yerba_Sutra

Member
Oct 26, 2017
4,643
Appalachia
God, I reactivated my Facebook to post about my sobriety and I saw that a good person I used to hang out with at a local brewery passed away from cancer a couple days ago. I'm somewhat beside myself. Every time I bumped into him the last few months I saw him, we talked about getting a drink and having some one-on-one time that we never got in a crowded brewery (this was right before I stopped drinking). Part of me feels determined that I'm not drinking because I know I'll never be able to have that drink with that amazing person.
I'm... Having trouble

All of January, I was dry. Not a drop the whole month. It was a monkish existence but I felt OK. Not brilliant, not awful, but blank and fine. I was quietly happy about it

Feb rolled around, rewarded myself with a bottle of scotch. That lasted about 36 hours. Became a drinker again. Met my girlfriend shortly after my birthday in March, having the time of my life since, but for the fucking drinking alone at home which I can't seem to stop doing

Been "working from home" today nursing a hangover with about a case of new beers and I feel like abject shit. I don't understand why I can't treat my anxieties with something healthier. I want to be a better man for my girlfriend. I don't want to hurt her with this embarrassment of mine. I need help
This shit is really hard. I remember watching an Alice Cooper documentary and he struggled with alcoholism for a long time, almost wasted away from it before he got sober. Years later his wife let him have a sip of wine because she thought one sip wouldn't hurt after all that time and by the end of that night he had a bottle of whiskey stashed in the house.

Always keep in mind that we all stumble on this journey. I fucked up so many times before I got kicked out of a bar and that switch flipped in my head which made it too real that I couldn't keep doing this to myself. It's challenging enough for people to make lifestyle changes that don't involve addiction. Making the lifestyle changes to overcome addiction is another beast entirely, especially when it is linked to anxiety (my alcoholism was fueled by being in a band while not coping with my social anxiety properly).

Every day you go without a drink is a day where you have improved your ability to say no, practiced self-love and -care, and further normalized alcohol not being in your life. We might not succeed in this every day, and we may falter for a long time before finding our feet again, but that does not invalidate the perspective it's given us. Keep it close and use it with intent when you find the strength to confront your addiction again. I'm rootin' for ya!
 

Awesome Kev

Member
Jan 10, 2018
1,379
Daytona Beach
One year sober!

I knew that I could do it, I just never thought I would do it. But holy shit, here I am. This thread and all the supporters in it has been a huge help. Thank you to all!
 

Threadkular

Member
Dec 29, 2017
848
One year sober!

I knew that I could do it, I just never thought I would do it. But holy shit, here I am. This thread and all the supporters in it has been a huge help. Thank you to all!
That's really great. Congrats man.

I just got my first service position chairing a meeting. I'm supposed to do it for a half a year. My sponsor is my speaker for weak 1 so I only need 25 more people.
 

Awesome Kev

Member
Jan 10, 2018
1,379
Daytona Beach
How is everyone doing?
Dude, I'm doing great. Struggling with boredom, loneliness, depression and lack of motivation, but without the booze I know I can handle it. Whereas before, drinking would send me into a downward spiral of self-destruction, I'm now coming up with a workable plan and taking care of myself. Thanks for asking! Hope all is well with you too :)
 

Powdered Egg

Member
Oct 27, 2017
10,634
People are terrible.

Hung out this weekend and not only did I reject drinks during pre-gaming but I explicitly laid out personal, mental and physical health reasons for why I had to stop (so that people could leave me alone about it too!). Two hours later and these dorks are still offering to buy me drinks at the restaurant. Crabs in a barrel.
 

Threadkular

Member
Dec 29, 2017
848
People are terrible.

Hung out this weekend and not only did I reject drinks during pre-gaming but I explicitly laid out personal, mental and physical health reasons for why I had to stop (so that people could leave me alone about it too!). Two hours later and these dorks are still offering to buy me drinks at the restaurant. Crabs in a barrel.
I try not to motivate/boost myself off the backs of others, but I do tend to believe it's true that your sobriety is a threat to at least some of the people you interacted with. But it takes time for each person to come to terms with their issues however they do.
 

Cybit

Member
Oct 25, 2017
1,007
I try not to motivate/boost myself off the backs of others, but I do tend to believe it's true that your sobriety is a threat to at least some of the people you interacted with. But it takes time for each person to come to terms with their issues however they do.
Same. I've gotten super lucky that almost all my friends are supportive and will go out of their way to downplay / stop drinking around me.
 

Powdered Egg

Member
Oct 27, 2017
10,634
I try not to motivate/boost myself off the backs of others, but I do tend to believe it's true that your sobriety is a threat to at least some of the people you interacted with. But it takes time for each person to come to terms with their issues however they do.
It's kind of crazy. I'm a person that minds my own business about what people eat or drink. Even at the height of my alcoholism it would never cross my mind to bugger someone about not drinking.
 

SpecX

The Fallen
Oct 30, 2017
809
I may join this community one day, but I'm not ready to give up the drink yet.

For me, drinking was just at social gatherings and trying to find what I enjoyed. Fast forward to now, drinking has helped with emotional pain and has become a "fun" hobby. I don't crave drinking, but I admit when I drink the goal is to get drunk and have a more enjoyable time than I would sober.

I do want to get off this wagon before it gets really bad for me. I've grown up seeing how drinking has destroyed 2 of my uncles and how bad it is for my parents relationship at this point in their life. Definitely tracking this thread and good work to you guys that have been able to stay on the road to recovery.
Major progress has been made since I posted this. Drinking has not come to a complete stop, but I'm no longer finding myself in the bar 4-5 days a week and the places I regularly visited no longer consider me a regular.

Life is still a struggle, but in a fresh relationship with an awesome woman, kids are good with the changes we've gone through as a fractured family, and drinking back to a social gathering event. No more rushing to the bar to live in there after work, on the weekends, and finishing my liquor at home.
 

Kaji AF16

Member
Nov 6, 2017
845
Argentina
I had never been much of an alcoholic beyond social drinking. But very recently, just as my taste for wine was reaching new levels (3-4 weekly bottles of mid-tier argentinian varieties), I was diagnosed with IBS and decided to stop drinking at least until I design my future diet alongside my gastroenterologist.
 

StrikeVillain

Member
Oct 25, 2017
1,967
Orlando, FL
I finally gave up drinking. Special thanks to M1chl and his liver transplant thread for putting the fear of god into me.

I'm 32 and have been a functioning alcoholic for the past 8 years or so. I'd enjoy 4-6 beers or mixed drinks every night. It didn't affect my work, my relationships or my behavior. I just really liked drinking and reading, watching a movie or playing a game. I would drink socially but most of the time it was at home in the evening/nights. Recently, I've been feeling a slight pain in my right abdomen that I pinpoint to my liver. I have a 10 month old daughter now. I have a responsibility to her and to my family to not fuck this up. To not turn into a statistic as "another one lost because he couldn't control himself." I've always worked out through my alcoholic years, so my body isn't in horrendous shape. It's a habit I'm glad to have as I'll easily be able to fill my time with something healthy. In a couple of weeks I'll take my cowardly ass to a doctor to get a look under the hood.

The truth is I can't have just one drink, I envy anyone who can. The character Leo McGarry from The West Wing explains alcoholism pretty well, I feel.

Anyways, I'm 6 days sober and I'm sure I'll have a drink someday in the future. But that's not today, and I'm going to keep telling myself that everyday.
 

M1chl

Banned
Nov 20, 2017
2,054
Czech Republic
I am glad to help StrikeVillain

I have new liver, so you don't have to. Put the bottle down, it's not worth it even in the slightest.

Thread about my story (If you are in this thread, just fucking read it, it's not that I am important, but your health is):
Link
 

SolVanderlyn

Member
Oct 28, 2017
7,753
Hey, guys.

Over a week sober now. Longest since the last time I stopped. Haven't touched the stuff since I came back home.

Looking good. I don't have any desire to, either. And I already feel so much better.

Feeling pretty optimistic about the whole affair. A lot of my old friends have since stopped drinking regularly, too, apparently.
 

amanset

Member
Oct 28, 2017
887
I recently passed the one year mark. I have also finally come off the medication that was stopping me from drinking.

I'm not sure what to do.
 

Ploppee

Member
Nov 28, 2018
254
Surely you can see the ignorance of your post in a thread dedicated to people with problems with drink and drugs trying to help each other out?

I wish to god I had only ever had one drink in my life and hated it. Unfortunately for me, I'm working on stopping it from destroying my health, job, relationship and life.
 

chandoog

Member
Oct 27, 2017
11,708
Surely you can see the ignorance of your post in a thread dedicated to people with problems with drink and drugs trying to help each other out?

I wish to god I had only ever had one drink in my life and hated it. Unfortunately for me, I'm working on stopping it from destroying my health, job, relationship and life.
Mate it wasn't meant as a disrespect or flippant response to anyone. I just shared my experience with it. I'll edit the post.
 

blitzblake

Member
Jan 4, 2018
1,354
Are drugs included in this? Have only seen people talking about alcohol. WOuld be keen to hear about anyone staying sober off weed.
 

Pirate Bae

X marks the spot
Moderator
Oct 25, 2017
3,689
??
Hit four months sober on July 27. My recovery team says I can now use “responsible drinking” if I so choose (it’s the military), and I’m tempted. I’d really like to have a drink, but then I know I’ll spiral, start drinking to cope, and will probably try to kill myself again.

I’m kind of scared, actually.
 

Awesome Kev

Member
Jan 10, 2018
1,379
Daytona Beach
Are drugs included in this? Have only seen people talking about alcohol. WOuld be keen to hear about anyone staying sober off weed.
For sure!

I know there are quite a few posts about people trying to quit weed. Give the thread a read through.

And don’t be afraid to share something about yourself if you want. It could help others who may need to hear whatever you have to say.
 

SolVanderlyn

Member
Oct 28, 2017
7,753
Hit four months sober on July 27. My recovery team says I can now use “responsible drinking” if I so choose (it’s the military), and I’m tempted. I’d really like to have a drink, but then I know I’ll spiral, start drinking to cope, and will probably try to kill myself again.

I’m kind of scared, actually.
At the three month mark I tried this, and to be honest, it was alright for about two months (minus the super shitty re-experiencing of a hangover). But then something happened that was bad and it got worse, and that made other things worse, and then... yeah.

The spiral is inevitable for some people. I wouldn't risk it. But that's just my opinion.
 

Pirate Bae

X marks the spot
Moderator
Oct 25, 2017
3,689
??
At the three month mark I tried this, and to be honest, it was alright for about two months (minus the super shitty re-experiencing of a hangover). But then something happened that was bad and it got worse, and that made other things worse, and then... yeah.

The spiral is inevitable for some people. I wouldn't risk it. But that's just my opinion.
I think it's hard because I have a birthday coming up in like a week and a half and I usually spend it drinking with friends; I feel bad that I can't, and shouldn't, do it this year.
 

Threadkular

Member
Dec 29, 2017
848
Hit four months sober on July 27. My recovery team says I can now use “responsible drinking” if I so choose (it’s the military), and I’m tempted. I’d really like to have a drink, but then I know I’ll spiral, start drinking to cope, and will probably try to kill myself again.

I’m kind of scared, actually.
Just wondering, is this like a formal recovery team (medical program) of the military? It's unusual a program would suggest controlled drinking. At least where I live you it's pretty tough to find any medical program that doesn't recommend abstinence.

If you can't share more I get it, just sounds strange that a recovery team would suggest that.
 

Pirate Bae

X marks the spot
Moderator
Oct 25, 2017
3,689
??
Just wondering, is this like a formal recovery team (medical program) of the military? Of course everyone has their own agency and that's obvious, but it's weird a program would suggest controlled drinking. At least where I live you it's pretty tough to find any medical program that doesn't recommend abstinence.

If you can't share more I get it, just sounds strange that a recovery team would suggest that.
I recently completed the AF's substance abuse program, which strictly enforces a no-drinking order mandated by command and regulated through group sessions once a week as well as random urine and blood testing. So now that I've graduated from that, they've transitioned me from "active treatment" to "recovery". Once you're in the recovery phase, they give you the option to engage in controlled drinking and make you report your progress and setbacks once a month.

In other words, I have the option, but I'm afraid to take it.
 

sgtnosboss

Member
Nov 9, 2017
2,986
IL
I want to be sober more often, trying to start a large break this week. Along with attempting to quit smoking cigs too. What gets you through the nights? The biggest thing for me is if I don't have a couple beers, I can't sleep. It's something I have had since I was younger, drink never started it. When I am sober sleeping I hyper focus in on dumb things like my heart beat and it seems to get louder and louder and then I freak out that it might stop all the sudden. It's silly I know, but I've had issues with existential crisis since I learned about death. Any tips from others who had trouble sleeping?
 

LookAtMeGo

Member
Oct 25, 2017
4,801
a parallel universe
I'm back on the wagon. Only been a few days but after last Friday and Saturday I'm ready to get back on. I've only drank a handful of times the last few months but ever since my last long break, I feel like my relationship with booze has changed quite a bit. I pretty much had to force myself to drink the last few times. Sober me is in the gym and at the lake almost every day, going on hikes and all that, feeling great. I drink for one or 2 days and my life just stops for like a whole week and I just lay around feeling like shit, dont get anything done, eat like shit ect ect.

Got my bday in 3 months. Going to try and get in the best shape in my life by then. Can be done.

I want to be sober more often, trying to start a large break this week. Along with attempting to quit smoking cigs too. What gets you through the nights? The biggest thing for me is if I don't have a couple beers, I can't sleep. It's something I have had since I was younger, drink never started it. When I am sober sleeping I hyper focus in on dumb things like my heart beat and it seems to get louder and louder and then I freak out that it might stop all the sudden. It's silly I know, but I've had issues with existential crisis since I learned about death. Any tips from others who had trouble sleeping?
I have the same problem. I sleep like shit and my mind goes 1000mph when I try to sleep. I found that taking 3-5mgs of melatonin about 30 min before I go to bed really helps a lot. I still like to have some kind of noise happening, like a podcast or something going in the background. Listening to something and focusing on that stops my mind from going all bonkers.
 

sgtnosboss

Member
Nov 9, 2017
2,986
IL
I'm back on the wagon. Only been a few days but after last Friday and Saturday I'm ready to get back on. I've only drank a handful of times the last few months but ever since my last long break, I feel like my relationship with booze has changed quite a bit. I pretty much had to force myself to drink the last few times. Sober me is in the gym and at the lake almost every day, going on hikes and all that, feeling great. I drink for one or 2 days and my life just stops for like a whole week and I just lay around feeling like shit, dont get anything done, eat like shit ect ect.

Got my bday in 3 months. Going to try and get in the best shape in my life by then. Can be done.


I have the same problem. I sleep like shit and my mind goes 1000mph when I try to sleep. I found that taking 3-5mgs of melatonin about 30 min before I go to bed really helps a lot. I still like to have some kind of noise happening, like a podcast or something going in the background. Listening to something and focusing on that stops my mind from going all bonkers.
I might have to try that, I tried a fan and it kind of helps. depends how fast my brain is going, a lot of times it can out beat the fan noise.
 

LookAtMeGo

Member
Oct 25, 2017
4,801
a parallel universe
I might have to try that, I tried a fan and it kind of helps. depends how fast my brain is going, a lot of times it can out beat the fan noise.
A fan isnt enough for me either. I'm a fan of astronomy and history, so listening to something to do with those subjects usually does the trick. Listening to someone talk about some kings conquest or listen to Carl Sagan talk about the stars and shit will knock me right out. My imagination still gets to go nuts but not in a stressful way.