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Jeremiah

Jeremiah

Member
Oct 25, 2017
774
Currently on day 1034... wanted to post after crossing the 1000 day mark, but life has been incredibly busy. I do miss being a more active participant here.

Wanted to share about my brother -- a while back, in December or January actually, I posted in this thread about having to check him into rehab. Unlike myself, he's really embraced AA on his path of sobriety. It's been quite the transformation, and though I am not religious, I can really only describe this whole situation as a miracle. He's gone from being wholly dependent on substances, multiple attempted suicides to this person that is now grounded in reality, and a state of mind that he describes as 'completely free'. First 3 months were very rough mind you lol, but when you don't turn to alcohol or substances, you process and face the 'why' and 'what' behind what makes it hard. But yeah, watching him get sober has been the highlight of my year.

And I love the way you put it Cybit , one decision at a time... just stay sober one decision at a time.
 

SolVanderlyn

I love pineapple on pizza!
Member
Oct 28, 2017
13,498
Earth, 21st Century
Alright guys, it's time for me to try this again. Since my relapse in November my alcoholism has continued to spiral out of control until I'm basically right back where I was a year ago when I decided to go sober the first time. Not remembering what I did, running my mouth when I'm drunk and often saying really dumb things that get me in trouble, gaining weight, looking worse and feeling worse have me at my wit's end. I am absolutely sick of blacking out and doing and saying things I would never dream of while sober. I still have friends who are mad at me for reasons I don't, and probably don't want to, remember. Imagine having people start to hate you for reasons you don't know? It fucking sucks, pardon my French. The only good thing that comes of it is that first twenty or thirty minutes of release when I have my first couple of drinks and sometimes a funny drunk thread.

Please pray for me or cross your fingers or whatever. I need to stop, preferably, or get it down to AT LEAST once or twice a week instead of every other day like it's been. I'm slowly killing myself.
 
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Pwnz

Member
Oct 28, 2017
14,279
Places
Alright guys, it's time for me to try this again. Since my relapse in November my alcholism has continued to spiral out of control until I'm basically right back where I was a year ago when I decided to go sober the first time. Not remembering what I did, running my mouth when I'm drunk and often saying really dumb things that get me in trouble, gaining weight, looking worse and feeling worse have me at my wit's end.

Please pray for me or cross your fingers or whatever. I need to stop, perferably, or get it down to AT LEAST once or twice a week instead of every other day like it's been. I'm slowly killing myself.

There generally isn't any moderate alcohol consumption for alcoholics. We have a euphoric, uncontrollable response to the first few sips that leads to binge drinking no matter how much we are sure we won't go beyond 1 drink. This is step 1 in alcoholics anonymous. The insanity is believing that we can control drinking after hundreds of nights proving otherwise.

If you are an alcoholic, I recommend abstinence. I once craved the drink every waking moment and now the urge is gone and I'm like why the fuck did I think I had to?
 

LookAtMeGo

Member
Oct 25, 2017
7,136
a parallel universe
Yup. Every god damn time I've "proven" to myself that I have it under control and that I can just have a few, its just a matter of time before I'm back to getting plastered again and hating myself for it.
 

Pwnz

Member
Oct 28, 2017
14,279
Places
It's hard for a struggling alcoholic to realize it but life feels so much better every day without it. I look at drinking like South Park's "heroine hero" video game now. I know I can't use it because for me it would be heroine.

I think for me it was 3 months where I stopped counting days.

The inventory and amends part of the 12 steps helps speed up recovery.
 

LookAtMeGo

Member
Oct 25, 2017
7,136
a parallel universe
Its just sad how depressing a life without booze can seem. I swear I find I can keep going without because one day I know Ill drink again and find comfort in knowing that. I know it sounds fucked but the prospect of never drinking again is fuckin scary.
 

SolVanderlyn

I love pineapple on pizza!
Member
Oct 28, 2017
13,498
Earth, 21st Century
Its just sad how depressing a life without booze can seem. I swear I find I can keep going without because one day I know Ill drink again and find comfort in knowing that. I know it sounds fucked but the prospect of never drinking again is fuckin scary.
I know exactly what you mean. Three months without it felt great but it was also amazingly dull by comparison. I feel like alcoholism fucks up your brain to register alcohol as a reward and then the thought of not having it makes life seem so grey and lifeless.

This past Sunday I was sitting in my room alone. I usually drink after I go to the gym, because it stresses me out and I usually feel great after a workout and something about that makes me feel like I can drink with no consequences. Anyway, I had already gone earlier that day, so I thought I was set, I was going to be sober that day. But I found myself sitting my apartment and thinking of doing this forever, no booze ever, and it scared me so much I popped open a can and started drinking. Not because I was stressed, or because I was craving it, but because the thought of not having it made me feel a little bit dead inside.

Like you said it sounds really fucked up when you type it out like this, but the sentiment is definitely real.
 

SolVanderlyn

I love pineapple on pizza!
Member
Oct 28, 2017
13,498
Earth, 21st Century
That's basically exactly what it feels like

Ironically I lost my actual best friend because his wife doesn't want him to associate with an alcoholic like me. There's a lesson to be learned there but my dumb ass hasn't registered it yet apparently.
 

SolVanderlyn

I love pineapple on pizza!
Member
Oct 28, 2017
13,498
Earth, 21st Century
Even if it's not permanent, staying off it for a while is way better than not trying at all.

Just keep trying bro. Might never beat the beast but you might as well go out fighting
 

LookAtMeGo

Member
Oct 25, 2017
7,136
a parallel universe
Thats true. These extended breaks have been nice. Much better than not taking them. I feel it is an exercise in self control. I've been able to see myself spiraling back out of control again and Im like whoa there back it up. Time for another breakypoo.

Finding fun stuff to do without drinking is the hardest part. But lake days and outdoor basketball have been working great the last while.

And the bank account growing is always a good motivator
 

Threadkular

Member
Dec 29, 2017
2,414
SolVanderlyn / LookAtMeGo,

You are always going to find someone to commiserate with you about giving up alcohol and then the idea of controlled drinking comes back. My suggestion is to just surrender for today and put alcohol out of your life. There's a freedom that's gained when you believe that the next drink isn't coming.

And seriously give AA or sober support a try. As Andre 3000 says "take off your cool". It's actually a fantastic place to make friends and find social things to do. Part of becoming an adult is accepting your limitations and that you're going to have to do "uncool" things for your health.

A great AA saying that sticks with me is "would I rather be right or would I rather be happy".
 

Pwnz

Member
Oct 28, 2017
14,279
Places
I know exactly what you mean. Three months without it felt great but it was also amazingly dull by comparison. I feel like alcoholism fucks up your brain to register alcohol as a reward and then the thought of not having it makes life seem so grey and lifeless.

This past Sunday I was sitting in my room alone. I usually drink after I go to the gym, because it stresses me out and I usually feel great after a workout and something about that makes me feel like I can drink with no consequences. Anyway, I had already gone earlier that day, so I thought I was set, I was going to be sober that day. But I found myself sitting my apartment and thinking of doing this forever, no booze ever, and it scared me so much I popped open a can and started drinking. Not because I was stressed, or because I was craving it, but because the thought of not having it made me feel a little bit dead inside.

Like you said it sounds really fucked up when you type it out like this, but the sentiment is definitely real.

It is a strong physical addiction. I used to take shots on breaks mowing to take the edge off. The edge was just an addiction everything was fine otherwise. The stress needing relief is your body so used to the booze, not real stress.
 

SolVanderlyn

I love pineapple on pizza!
Member
Oct 28, 2017
13,498
Earth, 21st Century
SolVanderlyn / LookAtMeGo,

You are always going to find someone to commiserate with you about giving up alcohol and then the idea of controlled drinking comes back. My suggestion is to just surrender for today and put alcohol out of your life. There's a freedom that's gained when you believe that the next drink isn't coming.

And seriously give AA or sober support a try. As Andre 3000 says "take off your cool". It's actually a fantastic place to make friends and find social things to do. Part of becoming an adult is accepting your limitations and that you're going to have to do "uncool" things for your health.

A great AA saying that sticks with me is "would I rather be right or would I rather be happy".

It is a strong physical addiction. I used to take shots on breaks mowing to take the edge off. The edge was just an addiction everything was fine otherwise. The stress needing relief is your body so used to the booze, not real stress.
Thanks. Yeah, I guess I need be uncool/boring for the greater good sometimes.

Managed to stay sober today. One step at a time, I suppose.
 

Pwnz

Member
Oct 28, 2017
14,279
Places
Thanks. Yeah, I guess I need be uncool/boring for the greater good sometimes.

Managed to stay sober today. One step at a time, I suppose.

I've found that things are a lot more basic when others are drinking around me. It is all smoke and mirrors. Speaking of smoking, I'm an alcoholic but I don't get addicted to weed - that'll get me goofy.
 

plagiarize

Eating crackers
Moderator
Oct 25, 2017
27,508
Cape Cod, MA
Currently on day 1034... wanted to post after crossing the 1000 day mark, but life has been incredibly busy. I do miss being a more active participant here.

Wanted to share about my brother -- a while back, in December or January actually, I posted in this thread about having to check him into rehab. Unlike myself, he's really embraced AA on his path of sobriety. It's been quite the transformation, and though I am not religious, I can really only describe this whole situation as a miracle. He's gone from being wholly dependent on substances, multiple attempted suicides to this person that is now grounded in reality, and a state of mind that he describes as 'completely free'. First 3 months were very rough mind you lol, but when you don't turn to alcohol or substances, you process and face the 'why' and 'what' behind what makes it hard. But yeah, watching him get sober has been the highlight of my year.

And I love the way you put it Cybit , one decision at a time... just stay sober one decision at a time.
Congrats. I've watched from the sidelines enough times to know how hard your journey is. 1000 days is a huge fucking deal. A milestone very few make.

For everyone else trying to moderate, ask yourself this. Is there a reason your drinking went out of control (grief/separation/job loss) or not? If not, you've probably got a problem, and while moderation *may* be possible, you should probably seek out a professional rather than trying to do it all through willpower.

For people that truly have the sickness, I've never seen moderation work. Those who can't let the idea go... they don't get better.

And sober != uncool or boring. I'd rather talk to someone with a clear head than someone slurring their words.

I've been sober my whole life because too many in my family had the sickness. Those who beat it and went sober would still talk about missing it. I figured I had to make a choice early, and I chose to never know what it was like to drink. It wasn't until about two years ago that I reached a point in my life where I knew I didn't have the sickness. I still didn't start drinking, because in my late thirties, what's the point really? We keep a dry house and a couple of people who we let come stay with us during a life crisis have credited that with saving their lives. I don't know if that's accurate, but they both seem to believe it.

Everyone one of you that beats this, improves the lives of more than you probably know.
 

Threadkular

Member
Dec 29, 2017
2,414
Thanks. Yeah, I guess I need be uncool/boring for the greater good sometimes.

Managed to stay sober today. One step at a time, I suppose.

A few thoughts today:
  • I think my words were insensitive when I talked about "commiserating" over the loss of alcohol. Believe me I do know that it is a loss and that there is a grieving period. People in recovery know this too and are willing to listen and empathize with all of your thoughts, but to share these thoughts with another person who is actively using could just end up getting you both to a bad place.
  • In terms of "uncool", I meant specifically in regards to AA... that was a stumbling block for me at first. That was a personal hurdle I had to get over. You may not see it yet, but there's nothing uncool about being sober like plagiarize said. When you realize how much pain is tied up in this disease (death, physical/sexual/emotional abuse, family dysfunction and denial, etc.) and see how it's affected you and how you've contributed to it before, and now no longer will it's great. It's been a wonderful place for me to forgo cynicism in my life.
  • As for the boring thing, I'd consider that from a scientific perspective that your rewards system is chemically fucked up. Your brain needs immediate dopamine rushes to feel pleasure now. It's going to take time for boring things (i.e. standard healthy hobbies we probably had when we were kids) to give you pleasure again. Thankfully our bodies do correct themselves. Yay for evolution.
 

Mulligan

Member
Oct 29, 2017
1,505
I'm almost at 4 months and I'm not gonna lie, things have been manageably difficult the last two weeks. I started at my new job site which is about 2 hours away, and I haven't been able to make meetings outside of my 3 outpatient and 2 individual sessions each week.

My sponsor is getting on my case about me missing meetings and going slowly through my 4th step. The problem is I've gotta make a 3:50AM train in the morning, and outpatient ends at 8PM. I need my sleep and I'm not sure what else I can do.

Beyond that, I'm doing pretty well. I just wish I had more time to get to the gym AND meetings.
 
Oct 27, 2017
4,432
Hate meetings, but I'm back to going, to look good for the SoS. Hadn't been to one in 4 years. At least I found a small one, first 2 meetings were under 30 minutes.

Coming up on 37 months without drinking. I used Naltrexone on the Sinclair method. It was a miracle drug for me. Used 4 pills ever, completely broke my compulsion. So it's weird being sober 3 years but walking into AA with a sign in sheet like a beginner.
 

SolVanderlyn

I love pineapple on pizza!
Member
Oct 28, 2017
13,498
Earth, 21st Century

Deleted member 47843

User Requested Account Closure
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Sep 16, 2018
2,501
Not trying to get sober, but had been working on cutting back. Tore a biceps tendon in the gym last month and had surgery on it Friday. Cut back drinking the week before, and then nothing after the Sunday before to present. I'm supposed to take the prescription strength Aleve (Naproxen) for a month to help with healing and can't drink with that, so nice side benefit of having a dry month. Also don't want the calories when I'm very limited in being able to move/excercise the first month or so while the arm is so sore (also don't want to get the brace sweaty).

It has been pretty easy so far. I hadn't been drinking as much this year as the past couple of years since cutting back was a goal so I haven't had any noticeable withdrawal symptoms this time. Vs. last year when we did a dry month for a whole 30 and I had some issues sleeping, some upset stomach and some moodiness. Cravings haven't been bad even though my wife has still been having beer.
 

Cybit

Member
Oct 25, 2017
1,326

I read that, and considering where they deliberately cut off the How It Works intro in order to lie about the content, I am calling utter bullshit on that author and that article.

Literally the next sentences after where they cut it off

"They are naturally incapable of grasping and developing a manner of living which demands rigorous honesty. Their chances are less than average. There are those, too, who suffer from grave emotional and mental disorders, but many of them do recover if they have the capacity to be honest."

Let's not let the truth get in the way of a good bashing. That said, AA is pretty "you do what works for you", so a lot of her characterizations seems...cherry picked based on all the time I've been to meetings / met with people. She seems to be taking heavy advantage of AA's policy to not publicly comment on anything to out and out lie about it. But, ultimately, people in AA just want other people to not suffer, and all we can do is just tell you what works for us and how it worked for us. If it works for you, awesome! If something else is needed, go forth and do it.

Glad you're getting some time in Sol. One moment, one decision at a time.

Nicktals - some of the folks who consistently turn in sheets have years / decades sober. Lot of folks just do it for their own accountability / responsibility.
 
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Pirate Bae

Edelgard Feet Appreciator
The Fallen
Oct 25, 2017
6,792
??
Been sober for almost three months now. I was using alcohol to cope with things in my life and my depression. Obviously it didn't help at all, but it was kind of all I had. Gained a lot of weight, felt like shit all the time, in a bad place mentally. The whole nine yards.

I had an incident in March that landed me in the hospital for a week. They immediately put me in alcohol treatment and on new medication for my depression and insomnia. There have been times where I want to drink, and it's very tempting, but I have to keep at it. Eventually it will get much easier and I think I've been doing okay so far.

Good luck to everyone! You got this. I'll pop in here from time to time since I just learned thisnthread existed, lol.
 

Pwnz

Member
Oct 28, 2017
14,279
Places

AA is not doctrine. If you read the works from the founder Bill W, AA are mere suggestions for a way of life to handle alcoholism. You can use an app called Meeting Guide (at least for Austin TX) and find meetings that work for you. Yes, there are Jebus big book thumpers that use it to convert people to Christianity. There are also Atheist AA groups and LGBTQ+ groups that are not spiritual. There is your standard vanilla AA groups that are heavily influenced by Christianity but use the words spiritual. I go to a zen, meditation AA meeting with 20 minutes of meditation and sharing, and when I chair I'm very open that I'm agnostic and that my higher power is AA itself, which Bill W suggests. I also bring up the Sinclair Method for those that are struggling with alcoholism so bad that they are getting hospitalized because modern medicine is better than going to the hospital and "sponsoring" the release of the patient (which is where the word sponsor originally comes from).
 

LookAtMeGo

Member
Oct 25, 2017
7,136
a parallel universe
Been a month now. Feelin pretty good. Not really craving booze at the moment. But I am dreading the weddings and vacation I have coming up the next 3 or 4 weekends. Scared I'm going to give in and fall back in the habbit again.
 

Pwnz

Member
Oct 28, 2017
14,279
Places
Drinking tonight, but made it 4 days. Longest in a while. I know that's pathetic.

Will keep fighting.

That you feel that you're worth fighting for means you have hope. I'm preparing for sponsorship and my sponsor has told me not to accept a sponsee that hates themself - a sponsee works the steps - not their sponsor, not their spouse, not their friends. It's 100% on them. The sponsor just guides the sponsee with the steps and how AA is structured. If someone thinks they're worthless they won't work the steps.
 
Oct 27, 2017
4,432
AA is not doctrine. If you read the works from the founder Bill W, AA are mere suggestions for a way of life to handle alcoholism. You can use an app called Meeting Guide (at least for Austin TX) and find meetings that work for you. Yes, there are Jebus big book thumpers that use it to convert people to Christianity. There are also Atheist AA groups and LGBTQ+ groups that are not spiritual. There is your standard vanilla AA groups that are heavily influenced by Christianity but use the words spiritual. I go to a zen, meditation AA meeting with 20 minutes of meditation and sharing, and when I chair I'm very open that I'm agnostic and that my higher power is AA itself, which Bill W suggests. I also bring up the Sinclair Method for those that are struggling with alcoholism so bad that they are getting hospitalized because modern medicine is better than going to the hospital and "sponsoring" the release of the patient (which is where the word sponsor originally comes from).

Yeah, the problem isnt AA, it's AA being used by the court. You dont usually have many options when you dont have a car and are ordered to do 90 meetings in 90 days.

I hated AA, and I hate that I have to go again to prove I'm serious or something. And yes, there are alternatives, but I have 4 AAs before the closest alternative (and mostly I hate anything group based).

But good job mentioning naltrexone and Sinclair, that's what I used and it was a miracle. Zero compulsion afterwards. I still had anxiety, but i had kicked alcohols butt and wasnt looking back.
 

Godfather

Game on motherfuckers
Avenger
Oct 25, 2017
3,475
I feel like an ass cause i didn't know a newish friend had alcohol issues in the past, and I kept egging him on to come celebrate with us after events, but he always stayed strong. I kinda wish he had just told me sooner though, so I could find ways to celebrate that didn't focus on alcohol. He'll never see this, but stay strong Cookie!

You guys have any particular suggestions on that celebration front?
 

Cybit

Member
Oct 25, 2017
1,326
I feel like an ass cause i didn't know a newish friend had alcohol issues in the past, and I kept egging him on to come celebrate with us after events, but he always stayed strong. I kinda wish he had just told me sooner though, so I could find ways to celebrate that didn't focus on alcohol. He'll never see this, but stay strong Cookie!

You guys have any particular suggestions on that celebration front?

I mean, very little needs alcohol - I tailgate, go to sporting events, bars, etc - and it is fine for me. It's more about "is everyone else getting drunk around me" in my little knothole.
 

jakncoke

Member
Nov 5, 2017
615
How are y'all doing?

The last 2 weeks have been decently rough for me, I think it has to do with the fact that July 3rd I can legally drink again. So my self scare tactic to stay sober will gone. So i'll be able to drink with legal worries. Have been catching myself rationalizing about maybe a few won't hurt here and there or drinking on Friday or Saturday. Then I caught myself remembering how fun the Pittsburgh Whiskey Festival was and romanticizing whiskey passing through my lips and feeling the warmth of the buzz. Gotta keep fighting the good fight for myself or else I'll end up where I was before my DUI.
 

amanset

Member
Oct 28, 2017
1,577
So at the beginning of July (I'm not sure of the exact date) it will have been one year. Unlike most people, I didn't have a problem with alcohol, I needed to take medication that the doctor really told me not to drink whilst taking.

But last week I met the doctor and he wants me to try stopping the medication next month. And I don't know what to do. I feel weirdly healthier, people have said I look more together, I've lost weight and I have a lot more available cash. But I also am struggling as I think it has really affected my social life. I've lost or am losing contact with people because I don't seem to fit in late at night anymore. Dating is weird as bars are a common way of doing things and explaining why I can't drink gets awkward.

I don't know what to do.
 
Oct 27, 2017
4,432
So at the beginning of July (I'm not sure of the exact date) it will have been one year. Unlike most people, I didn't have a problem with alcohol, I needed to take medication that the doctor really told me not to drink whilst taking.

But last week I met the doctor and he wants me to try stopping the medication next month. And I don't know what to do. I feel weirdly healthier, people have said I look more together, I've lost weight and I have a lot more available cash. But I also am struggling as I think it has really affected my social life. I've lost or am losing contact with people because I don't seem to fit in late at night anymore. Dating is weird as bars are a common way of doing things and explaining why I can't drink gets awkward.

I don't know what to do.

If you have no problem, then just drink a glass of wine on the date. If you're driving that's your out. Out socializing, just basically hold a drink, and nurse it. Switch to water after 1 or 2, saying you have to drive/be up early. If you need to drink to fit in with your social circle, get new friends.
 

amanset

Member
Oct 28, 2017
1,577
If you have no problem, then just drink a glass of wine on the date. If you're driving that's your out. Out socializing, just basically hold a drink, and nurse it. Switch to water after 1 or 2, saying you have to drive/be up early. If you need to drink to fit in with your social circle, get new friends.

Yeah. What I'm scared about is that now it is just a glass of wine or a beer here or there. Further down the line it will become more and the good I am feeling will be lost.

And everyone knows I don't drive and am not a morning person. I've also spent a large part of the last year removing people from my social group that I felt were not a good influence. I can't get rid of everyone ... and at the age of 45 "get new friends" is more problematic and I'm already in a country of people with basically no social skills (Sweden).

Sorry to cut down everything your saying, but what you have said gets to the heart of my concerns.
 

Threadkular

Member
Dec 29, 2017
2,414
Yeah. What I'm scared about is that now it is just a glass of wine or a beer here or there. Further down the line it will become more and the good I am feeling will be lost.

And everyone knows I don't drive and am not a morning person. I've also spent a large part of the last year removing people from my social group that I felt were not a good influence. I can't get rid of everyone ... and at the age of 45 "get new friends" is more problematic and I'm already in a country of people with basically no social skills (Sweden).

Sorry to cut down everything your saying, but what you have said gets to the heart of my concerns.

Your self awareness is amazing. Kudos to you man.
 
Oct 27, 2017
4,432
Yeah. What I'm scared about is that now it is just a glass of wine or a beer here or there. Further down the line it will become more and the good I am feeling will be lost.

And everyone knows I don't drive and am not a morning person. I've also spent a large part of the last year removing people from my social group that I felt were not a good influence. I can't get rid of everyone ... and at the age of 45 "get new friends" is more problematic and I'm already in a country of people with basically no social skills (Sweden).

Sorry to cut down everything your saying, but what you have said gets to the heart of my concerns.

No offense taken. I took the "no friends" route, but I cant say its ideal, but I've been sober 3+ years. Good luck!
 

nel e nel

Member
Oct 27, 2017
3,134
Yeah. What I'm scared about is that now it is just a glass of wine or a beer here or there. Further down the line it will become more and the good I am feeling will be lost.

And everyone knows I don't drive and am not a morning person. I've also spent a large part of the last year removing people from my social group that I felt were not a good influence. I can't get rid of everyone ... and at the age of 45 "get new friends" is more problematic and I'm already in a country of people with basically no social skills (Sweden).

Sorry to cut down everything your saying, but what you have said gets to the heart of my concerns.

Hey fellow 40-somethinger! I feel you on the not getting new friends situation. While I wasn't full blown alcoholic, I recognized symptoms and patterns of behavior that were leading me down that path. Coming up on 6 months now. It's easier for me since I have kids, so a huge chunk of my social time is taken up with them, and I'm on the opposite side of the country from my immediate family and friends, so have been used to having a smaller social circle. My in laws drink though, and other parents do when we have birthday parties. Thankfully it's not a big deal.
 

amanset

Member
Oct 28, 2017
1,577
Thanks for your words guys. I have heard you and I have stuff to consider. I'm not attempting coming off the drugs until half way through next month - as I have two weeks off work so it is good to try then - so I should at the very least make it one year.
 

SolVanderlyn

I love pineapple on pizza!
Member
Oct 28, 2017
13,498
Earth, 21st Century
I'm still struggling. The main reason I fall back on alcohol, aside from actually wanting the buzz and sense of release, is because I'm living abroad, and I'm deathly lonely or bored most of the time.

I've said this before, but I really hope going home next month will help me cut back or stop altogether. But I'd really like to do it before then, because I'm very worried about my health.
 

SolVanderlyn

I love pineapple on pizza!
Member
Oct 28, 2017
13,498
Earth, 21st Century
You keep coming back.

It's a lame line, but you've long since pickled man, and you're not turning back into a cucumber.
I dunno. It was way easier to control back home and it never got this bad, despite still being a problem. I could go a week or two without a drink without it being a huge deal. These past two years have just been insane. Alcohol culture in Japan is also very much a thing.

That said, I should probably stop altogether, which is the plan.
 

Mulligan

Member
Oct 29, 2017
1,505
4 Months today. Holy shit. I'm fucking proud of myself. I've never been this sober, relaxed, calm, and organized in my life. This thread has been a huge help and I love how supportive we all are.

Remember we're in this together!