Well I drank the other day, but I'm done now not drinking today. Told my wife finally how felt and admitted it to her. My liver hurts and I have acid reflux that is getting bad. I'm done. Here's to a new start I hope
Don't give up! Today's another day to not drink, you can do it. It's hard. I'm just starting this journey myself, but we can't quit just because we mess up. You got this
I have come to the realization that I am a ptoblem drinker and weed smoker and I need to quit both forever. Today is Day One of me doing neither.
I have joined a gym and am going to focus on exercise, healthy eating, and productivity in my career.
What should someone who has realized they have a problem and taken the first steps to sobriety keep in mind as they begin this new phase of their life? I need all the help I can get as I cannot afford traditional rehabilitation programs.
It's not easy and there will be days you crave going back to your old habits.I have come to the realization that I am a ptoblem drinker and weed smoker and I need to quit both forever. Today is Day One of me doing neither.
I have joined a gym and am going to focus on exercise, healthy eating, and productivity in my career.
What should someone who has realized they have a problem and taken the first steps to sobriety keep in mind as they begin this new phase of their life? I need all the help I can get as I cannot afford traditional rehabilitation programs.
This for sure, so far I have noticed a lot more free time I need to be able to fill with other things. That and even the fixation of always having a drink in hand after work, I replaced with flavored water. Fills the fix without destroying my liver.It's not easy and there will be days you crave going back to your old habits.
Personally, I find staying busy helps. The first thing I noticed is having a boatload of free time I used to spend being drunk or hungover, and it needed to be filled with something. Even just watching TV or listening to podcasts is a better alternative.
that is awesome! Day 6 myselfIt's the 8th August in the UK.
That marks 2 years sober today odaat
Quick question, I drink a single beer after rehearsal with the band once a week. More out of tradition than any want for alcohol.
Nothing else throughout the rest of the week. Is that still considered sober?
Sober my whole life.
I face my struggles head on, but if they're too much, gaming is best the way to escape!
Quick question, I drink a single beer after rehearsal with the band once a week. More out of tradition than any want for alcohol.
Nothing else throughout the rest of the week. Is that still considered sober?
Quick question, I drink a single beer after rehearsal with the band once a week. More out of tradition than any want for alcohol.
Nothing else throughout the rest of the week. Is that still considered sober?
I have a question and a rant: how many of you guys have experience with sponsors? I haven't drank in 39 months but just started AA again a couple months ago for future legal reasons (hearing officer denied a license request, citing lack of AA, despite me being told that wasn't a requirement beforehand.)
I dont like AA. I dont really like the religious nuts in my group. I also really dont like that I was asked not to share my story. But I'm back for a year and need to get a sponsor in order for my sobriety to be believed.
If you were in my shoes what would you do? Suck it up and ask someone from my home group, and pretend to care about the steps? Find a sponsor online who might be willing to help me with this sham? Something I haven't thought of?
I mean your way got you here, why not try to find the other way work for a year?
I mean your way got you here, why not try to find the other way work for a year?
The other way was naltrexone on the Sinclair method. Its job is done! I have zero compulsion or desire to drink for over 3 years. But naltrexone gets 0 respect or recognition in a legal/license setting. Or an AA setting, as I've learned. So it doesnt really help me move forward over this obstacle, unfortunately.
From an outsider's perspective, the best advice since you have to do AA is to go in with an open mind and giving yourself the possibility of liking it.
If you're going in with a plan built upon a lies of fooling people and thinking others are "nuts" less than you, it's not going to work out well. Suggesting of developing a "pretend" intimate relationship with a human as your sponsor is kind of crazy (to say the least) - it speaks to the isolation of a dry drunk.
You have to do it, so give it a try. You might at least make some friends.
I dont associate with religious people. I was brainwashed indoctrinated and abused by them for years.
I've been to AA for 3 years before this, I'm familiar with the program, and the religious nuts.
It doesnt work for me because it revolves around a higher power and miracles. It also doesnt work for me because I have no need to be there. I never think about drinking, and conservative religious folks are not the group that would accept me for me. I'm not there for me, I'm good. I got sober for me. I'm going to AA for a piece of paper. I'm going to AA to convince a hearing officer that I'm sober. Which I have been. For 39 months. I have no other reason to be there.
If you dont think going through the motions (which again, I dont want to do, and dont need to do (paperwork excludes)) is the wrong call, maybe you have a better idea? Rather than calling me a dry drunk, whatever that means.
My plan is probably just to try again after 6 months of AA (3 now), no sponsor, and hope a different officer has heard of naltrexone and the Sinclair method. A program that isn't trying to make me happy (I assume dry drunk means sober but sad or angry?) through a higher power and a spiritual awakening lol.
But yes, I'm fairly isolated lol. Just not mad at it. I like my life, and I love the scientific miracle of being freed of my compulsion.
The worry is that feeling where "it's everyone else that is wrong" and never trying to change your ways. It will just leave you alone. It's very common with alcoholics (probably people in general). That's my natural reaction as well. The suggestion is to try something different.
That stinks if the AA groups near you are so religious. I'm in a pretty affluent DC suburb and sometimes it seems the majority are either atheists/agnostics (lots of lapsed Catholics like myself) or Yogis/"Goopers". Not exactly like me, but thats part of me not being isolated.
Anyway, the original suggestion was to consider taking a step outside yourself and taking a different approach. From the legal situation you have, setting aside your ego sounds like the easiest thing you could do for yourself.
And setting aside ego in this case means? I'm back at AA for 3 months, despite not having any issues with alcohol in 39 months. And by no issues, I mean no temptation. No thought, no close calls.
Again, this is more a legal question. My drinking is good, my life is good. Just one missing piece from my previous, wasted life: a license in good standing. As someone sober for 39 months, how do I convince a hearing officer with an AA hard-on of that fact? While staying true to myself.
I thought going back to AA was putting my ego aside and bending over, so to speak. I'm not there for me, just them.
The thing I tried worked (Naltrexone, using the Sinclair method), I dont need to try new things, outside of one more court date.
I dont think everyone else is wrong. I know AA wasn't right for me. I'd much rather leave them be. I shouldn't be there. If it works for them, great. But if I do have to go, I'm going to stay true to myself.
I don't think there is anything embarrassing about alarms, keep going. good on youGood night on Monday, not great but not terrible on Tuesday, good night last night. Setting alarms for basic stuff is really helpful, and has been helpful in getting me to get back onto the strength training wagon too.
I honestly don't care if it's "embarrassing" to set an alarm for stuff like "take your melatonin" (get ready for bed) or "brush your teeth" (don't eat or drink past this hour) or "lights out" (stop looking at your tablet, turn the lights off, and try to sleep).
It's a continued battle, but progress is progress. I've lost lots of strength that I gained a few years ago. While I suspect it'll come back at a speed that's not "slow" (re-acclimating to pushing hard and DOMS might take a couple of weeks), there's plenty of progress to be made. Very keen to continue to make more progress.
Maybe your higher power right now is the officer and the legal system. I feel and appreciate your experience, but right now you are powerless to them if you want your license. The easiest way to resolve your situation is to accept you're not in control here and do what they require you to do.
I always related to the higher power stuff is admitting I'm not god. Living in my head in anger and resentment is just going to make my problems worse instead of actually working to resolve them.
Missed that last bit in quotes:Maybe your higher power right now is the officer and the legal system. I feel and appreciate your experience, but right now you are powerless to them if you want your license. The easiest way
"Would I rather be right or would I rather be happy?"
Missed that last bit in quotes:
I'd rather be both. While also not admitting to highly personal things I dont believe in the hope of a faith, spirit based miracle. Biological, science, evidence based solutions exist. In fact those same studies show that cravings grow over time. Why are we wringing our hands sending kids to faith based, unsupported peer led recovery groups, when there is evidence, documented and supported, of INCREDIBLE recovery rates (70%+). Best guesses at AA are <10, but they eschew all responsibility by never allowing any studies to examine the effectiveness. Which kinda makes sense for a program that mentions god so much.
The pill could be given away for free. I spent 8 dollars (2 dollars a pill, 4 pills) to cure my compulsions. If you want AA to be a faith based self help group, fine. But it has absolutely no place alongside an actual science based solutions like the Sinclair method.
Can I ask why you assume I'm not happy, based on me not wanting to go to a faith based recovery program after already being sober 3+ years? Who would be happy to feel forced into a program that runs counter to their belief structure (no spirit/higher power) could only dream of having the results that the program I did use has? I'm not happy about going to AA, but I am exceptionally happy with my life now that I'm dry. My life is stable, predictable, and full of love. Still progress to be made, but that's what professionals are for!
I'll take happy and right every day lol.
I didn't mean you weren't happy. It's a general saying to be used as a way of living to make life less difficult and hopefully bring about more happiness in general. Please do not take these things so literally and personally.
Anyway, please just don't do the thing where you "pretend" with a sponsor. That's incredibly manipulative of a person who is trying to help you and may end up caring about you. Since youre going to AA, be honest about your situation in the rooms and share how your feelings and experiences have been negative. Someone will likely still sponsor you and meet whatever requirements you need, just be respectful.
I mean, you're basically a big book thumper but instead for a pill. So, I think you're just the other side of the equation, sure you're spouting out a Truth. Both can coexist.
I mean, you're basically a big book thumper but instead for a pill. So, I think you're just the other side of the equation, sure you're spouting out a Truth. Both can coexist.
Lol. Attacking others for a perceived lack of serenity doesnt seem very serene.I actually had been looking for an example of being sober and being sober with serenity and how those 2 things are different and I think I found it.
Lol. Attacking others for a perceived lack of serenity doesnt seem very serene.
Any interest in watching the documentary or reading the studies?
People can be sober, happy, and still manic/aggressuve/ whatever other characteristic has led you to believe I'm not as serene as I would be with a higher power. Unless there's a special prayer to get that defect lifted?
Can you think of other situations where people suffering and putting themselves and others at risk are only told to attend peer-led support groups? Its bizarre.
The program exists because no better cure existed. We now have a better cure, a better treatment. It's a devastating disease that no one knew how to deal with. He never allowed it to be tested or studied. It spread through desperation.
Naltrexone still necessitates a will to stop drinking. I have power over it, my brain in regards to booze has been returned to a pre addiction state, that's how the science works. At any point I can choose to start strengthening the addiction bonds, but why would I, now that my compulsion has been reset?
Why did you ignore the meat of my post? Do you not care what percentage of people trying to get sober succeed? I do. The victims do.
But yes, I'm familiar with the sell of "you won't know true peace until you accept your lord and savior into your soul." Your statement sounds no different. True serenity, lol.
Yo dood, congrats on the recovery and good luck with the AA situation, sounds like some BS you just got to get through, but I feel like maybe you're getting a little too on the defensive and bringing bad vibes into the topic?
That's not to tell you to leave or anything but this has really been more a place for supporting each other in our paths to sobriety, not debating. I feel like the other two posters were trying to offer you some helpful responses, and if you didn't like what they had to offer then that's fine, but this really isn't the topic for debate and argument .
We're all in here trying to support each other and keep positive vibes (wether you're an atheist, agnostic or believer, whatever) and sometimes someone may say something that you don't 100% agree with or want to hear, but it's always in good faith and you should just say thank you and move on. If you can't do that then this may not be a good topic for you.
Any other topic on here and I'd say yeah debate and argue till your fingers bleed, but Sober Era really isn't that kind of place.
Not a prob, I'm out. Is there a way to block threads? I dont think I was given good vibes, I was immediately called a dry drunk which is a pure AA insult lol.
Just seems weird that the best available cure for achieving sobriety has no talk in the sobriety thread. Seriously, one other mention other than mine. It's a frustrating bizarro world feeling when religion and tradition stand in the way of progress and saving TONS of lives. And it's so incredibly easy, and with a truly remarkable immediate effect (the kind of thing addicts love noticing!)
I just dont find encouraging people to attend AA is as much support as everyone in here wishes it was, and all available evidence backs that up. It's as effective and supportive as telling them "just dont drink forehead."
Sorry for harping on it so much.
Should this be an ErAA: One Day at a Time OT maybe? Definitely wouldn't have entered then!
Yes, there is an option up top to ignore thread. It's just above the OP in a drop down box on my mobile.
Good luck with everything!
Thanks! Is that a new feature?? I think I'll pop in again after I read through the rest of the thread and I hit my day (22nd). I at least want to pop in once a month-ish to name drop it. Afterall, forums and social media is what led most people I've heard from to naltrexone. Unfortunately I feel it's still pretty necessary.
I'll definitely take your words to heart and work on framing what I have to say neutrally or positively as opposed to antagonizing other options if I post here again though. And I just won't mention my bullshit situation with AA, as it seems a bit too prickly. Sorry again for the disruption.