Something "weird" happened during sex or am I the weirdo?

[Powdered Egg]

OP you better figure out what you want. Once she's moved on to someone else don't get angry or jealous.

 

[TaterTots]

No one is coercing me but ERA has been more helpful than I would have thought.

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A lot of people in this thread are telling you to just give it a chance even though you don't know what you want. You wanting to say, "i don't care either way" definitely means you do not care. Don't waste her time is all.

 

[CassCade]

If this is how you really feel then be honest with her. Telling her you don't mind either way is a terrible idea because it really makes it sound like you don't give a fuck about her. After all these months you must have some fondness for her, even if it's just as friends.

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I can see how it can be interpreted that way.

Good God, OP was well on his way to the most monumental fuck up.
If whatever way goes is for you, then be fucking honest, and say all and exactly how you feel, which I'm certain is not ""fine whichever way it goes"




Your reaction to her seemingly deeply enjoying you was

Couldn't concentrate on fucking
Good thing you posted what you were thinking about saying and changed your mind after becoming obvious how stupid that would be. You might be on the right path now with what you think about saying, and do make clear that

You clearly don't want it to end, otherwise you wouldn't have been nervous about talking and what each wants not meeting and things ending.
Tell her how she make you feel, tell her about your feelings, tell her about your fears, all that might even lead her to understand how/why you are not even sure of what you want.

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This is helpful, it will help me flesh up what I had to say.

Is this why you're unsure? Cus how good you are in a relationship varies from person to person.

Your past relationships may have ended less than stellar but... that's no reason the next one would as well. And evidently this girl likes you.

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My past relationships have been unmitigated disasters but I guess they have made me aware of my failings, relationships seem to be way out of my comfort zone, am often wondering whether am capable of what it takes to be in a relationship.

OP you better figure out what you want. Once she's moved on to someone else don't get angry or jealous.

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Am not the jealous or angry type, am friends with one of my exs.

A lot of people in this thread are telling you to just give it a chance even though you don't know what you want. You wanting to say, "i don't care either way" definitely means you do not care. Don't waste her time is all.

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Some are telling me that, other are telling me to decide what I want. Same with my friends.

 

[TaterTots]

I can see how it can be interpreted that way.

This is helpful, it will help me flesh up what I had to say.

My past relationships have been unmitigated disasters but I guess they have made me aware of my failings, relationships seem to be way out of my comfort zone, am often wondering whether am capable of what it takes to be in a relationship.

Am not the jealous or angry type, am friends with one of my exs.

Some are telling me that, other are telling me to decide what I want. Same with my friends.

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Never said there weren't others. You already said you don't care either way. She probably does. Pretty cut and dry if you ask me.

 

[butzopower]

• Mirror the situation, what would YOU want the other person to do
• Stop treating everything like a life or death situation rejection happens and the sooner you become comfortable with it the better you will feel about it
• Get the idea of relationship games, seeming too eager and other nonsense out your head if the other person thinks like this they're toxic and not worth your time anyway
• Don't put on an act of any kind

It's really as simple as that.

If you got to a date you're already way in front of the pack.

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When I said I remember a time, I meant like a decade ago, I'm a bit more wise now.

It was never an act, though. I've always tried to be myself, and let me be me. I didn't have a lot of experience with bantering and most of my texting / chats with friends were more pragmatic. I'm still this way, a bit, I've got more to say in person.

Maybe it's deep seated fear of rejection, but I've always had trouble with worrying I was bothering or upsetting someone when asking for something or if they wanted to hang out or whatever. I think it's more lack of self trust in not being overbearing or ending up too intense than someone rejecting me.

 

[ty_hot]

Looks like you want to be with her, just be honest and tell her that you enjoy her company, you think of her / miss her sometimes, etc etc. As other have said, she is waiting on your answer. You dont need to go full boyfriend, you can take things slow (whatever that means), take her out with some close friends, or just invite someone over and see how it all goes when it is not just the two of you.

Good luck and keep us posted.

 

[Triggerhappytel]

I can see how it can be interpreted that way.

This is helpful, it will help me flesh up what I had to say.

My past relationships have been unmitigated disasters but I guess they have made me aware of my failings, relationships seem to be way out of my comfort zone, am often wondering whether am capable of what it takes to be in a relationship.

Am not the jealous or angry type, am friends with one of my exs.

Some are telling me that, other are telling me to decide what I want. Same with my friends.

Click to shrink...

So how'd it go buddy?

 

[CassCade]

So how'd it go buddy?

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She came by with some food and brought me some potato scotch eggs (I love that shit). It was a bit awkward, I tried to tell her my thoughts but it came out as verbal diarrhoea, at least to me, she understood what I was trying to say, she was surprised that I made contact and said I was more emotionally mature than she told me my friend had basically told her about my past relationships and how I "struggle" with emotions and people and told her to be patient with me. She asked me if I wanted to end things, I said no and asked me if I wanted more, I told her I wasn't sure how I felt and she asked me if am willing to give it a go and I said yes. She said okay, am not entirely sure if it was an okay as a yes let's do it bit am assuming yes because she's now text and calling again. And before someone asks, no we didnt have sex, she had plans with some of her friends. She's now too curious about my ex's.

 

[Dan Thunder]

She came by with some food and brought me some potato scotch eggs (I love that shit). It was a bit awkward, I tried to tell her my thoughts but it came out as verbal diarrhoea, at least to me, she understood what I was trying to say, she was surprised that I made contact and said I was more emotionally mature than she told me my friend had basically told her about my past relationships and how I "struggle" with emotions and people and told her to be patient with me. She asked me if I wanted to end things, I said no and asked me if I wanted more, I told her I wasn't sure how I felt and she asked me if am willing to give it a go and I said yes. She said okay, am not entirely sure if it was an okay as a yes let's do it bit am assuming yes because she's now text and calling again. And before someone asks, no we didnt have sex, she had plans with some of her friends. She's now too curious about my ex's.

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Nice. Well done on being open!

 

[Kewlmyc]

She came by with some food and brought me some potato scotch eggs (I love that shit). It was a bit awkward, I tried to tell her my thoughts but it came out as verbal diarrhoea, at least to me, she understood what I was trying to say, she was surprised that I made contact and said I was more emotionally mature than she told me my friend had basically told her about my past relationships and how I "struggle" with emotions and people and told her to be patient with me. She asked me if I wanted to end things, I said no and asked me if I wanted more, I told her I wasn't sure how I felt and she asked me if am willing to give it a go and I said yes. She said okay, am not entirely sure if it was an okay as a yes let's do it bit am assuming yes because she's now text and calling again. And before someone asks, no we didnt have sex, she had plans with some of her friends. She's now too curious about my ex's.

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Congrats on the future continued sex.

 

[Triggerhappytel]

She came by with some food and brought me some potato scotch eggs (I love that shit). It was a bit awkward, I tried to tell her my thoughts but it came out as verbal diarrhoea, at least to me, she understood what I was trying to say, she was surprised that I made contact and said I was more emotionally mature than she told me my friend had basically told her about my past relationships and how I "struggle" with emotions and people and told her to be patient with me. She asked me if I wanted to end things, I said no and asked me if I wanted more, I told her I wasn't sure how I felt and she asked me if am willing to give it a go and I said yes. She said okay, am not entirely sure if it was an okay as a yes let's do it bit am assuming yes because she's now text and calling again. And before someone asks, no we didnt have sex, she had plans with some of her friends. She's now too curious about my ex's.

Click to shrink...

Good for you man. Give it a go with her, be open and honest and see where this thing goes. I hope you're happy together.

 

[Ashton]

She came by with some food and brought me some potato scotch eggs (I love that shit). It was a bit awkward, I tried to tell her my thoughts but it came out as verbal diarrhoea, at least to me, she understood what I was trying to say, she was surprised that I made contact and said I was more emotionally mature than she told me my friend had basically told her about my past relationships and how I "struggle" with emotions and people and told her to be patient with me. She asked me if I wanted to end things, I said no and asked me if I wanted more, I told her I wasn't sure how I felt and she asked me if am willing to give it a go and I said yes. She said okay, am not entirely sure if it was an okay as a yes let's do it bit am assuming yes because she's now text and calling again. And before someone asks, no we didnt have sex, she had plans with some of her friends. She's now too curious about my ex's.

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I actually feel so happy with these results.

 

[JaseMath]

I can't read the first post without cringing. You had sex. A girl was happy while doing it. Glad things worked out.

 

[RedSonja]

I met this hot girl a few months ago and to make a long story short she wanted us to start a "friends with benefit". She made it clear that it was just physical, no emotions but I had started to notice changes in the "rituals" leading up to the sex. It started as simple I go to her place or she comes to mine and we have sex and leave after to me cooking for her and she staying overnight.

None of this bothered me until Wednesday, we were started having sex and she got on top of me and she started caressing my face while riding (such a crude term) me and then started looking at me in the eyes, I try to look somewhere else but she turned my head back. Eye contact during sex makes me feel very weird but that wasn't what freaked me out, what freaked me out was the look on her face, she seemed genuinely happy, I have never seen her like that and no am not that good to illicit such a reaction especially less than 5 minutes in. No one has ever looked at me like that, I was so freaked out that I lost my erection. She was very understanding and moved on as if nothing was wrong, she choose to stay the night as if it was the most normal thing which kinda annoyed me.

After that, I started looking at past things in a new lens and keep coming to the conclusion that she has feelings for me, this seems to freak me out for no reason, it's not the first time that another human being has had romantic feelings for me so why do I feel so strange, earlier today she called wanting to come over and I reluctantly agreed, I for the life of me can't figure out why, she's beautiful and wants to have sex me, I have the sex drive of a teenager with terrible social skills, all for this should be great but it's making me feel nervous, does intimacy scare me that much? I am such a weirdo, she's gonna be here in a hour and still wanting to bail.

Click to shrink...

I'm not influencing my comment to you by reading any that have been made but...DUDE!? It's normal, nothing weird at all. I thought you were going to say something like she stuck her finger up your bum or or put a dead pigeon in one of your socks and put it under your pillow. Relax, see where it goes, enjoy yourself. Listen to Frankie Goes to Hollywood and relax, just do it, when you want to go through it.

 

[Triggerhappytel]

Also: buy her some flowers and tell her you're happy to give things a go and see where it takes you, or something mushy like that. Make her feel appreciated.

 

[Deleted member 33533]

yeah I am kinda taken aback that people think making eye contact during sex is some strange thing .

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My ex didn't really like eye contact during sex. It's a thing some people dislike - usually due to intimacy issues they have.

 

[Jindrax]

You're weirded out because someone was happy during sex? What the fuck? And what the fuck kind of sex were you having before?

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Read this with pooping. Laughed out loud so hard. Dude in the next stall must be like '' the fuck is wrong with this guy pooping next to me ''

 

[Grouch Douglass]

She came by with some food and brought me some potato scotch eggs (I love that shit). It was a bit awkward, I tried to tell her my thoughts but it came out as verbal diarrhoea, at least to me, she understood what I was trying to say, she was surprised that I made contact and said I was more emotionally mature than she told me my friend had basically told her about my past relationships and how I "struggle" with emotions and people and told her to be patient with me. She asked me if I wanted to end things, I said no and asked me if I wanted more, I told her I wasn't sure how I felt and she asked me if am willing to give it a go and I said yes. She said okay, am not entirely sure if it was an okay as a yes let's do it bit am assuming yes because she's now text and calling again. And before someone asks, no we didnt have sex, she had plans with some of her friends. She's now too curious about my ex's.

Click to shrink...

Sounds like she is being patient with you, for now. Try to find ways to share some of your emotions with her before she loses patience for good.

 

[CassCade]

Nice. Well done on being open!

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Congrats on the future continued sex.

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Good for you man. Give it a go with her, be open and honest and see where this thing goes. I hope you're happy together.

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I actually feel so happy with these results.

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Thanks guys.

I can't read the first post without cringing. You had sex. A girl was happy while doing it. Glad things worked out.

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As I have stated multiple times but I'll repeat again, we had just started having sex, not even 5 minutes in!!! Plus that facial expression was just new to me, she had never shown anything close to that.

I'm not influencing my comment to you by reading any that have been made but...DUDE!? It's normal, nothing weird at all. I thought you were going to say something like she stuck her finger up your bum or or put a dead pigeon in one of your socks and put it under your pillow. Relax, see where it goes, enjoy yourself. Listen to Frankie Goes to Hollywood and relax, just do it, when you want to go through it.

Click to shrink...

Lol, I actual like Frankie Goes to Hollywood but for me music and sex are a terrible mix for me.

Also: buy her some flowers and tell her you're happy to give things a go and see where it takes you, or something mushy like that. Make her feel appreciated.

Click to shrink...

Sounds like she is being patient with you, for now. Try to find ways to share some of your emotions with her before she loses patience for good.

Click to shrink...

I'll try that.

 

[I Don't Like]

Y'all motherfuckers start some weird ass girl-related threads.

Also OP you sound more than just not outwardly emotional - you sound awkward as hell talking about feelings. Normally if you're not that emotional you lean towards the more rationalizing side but you don't sound like you have much of that either.

If you're not ready for a relationship, say you're not ready and stop wasting that girl's time. If you are, then be clear about it (like wtf is this "i said okay and she said okay but not sure if that means yes"?) and go be a boyfriend.

I've never been that emotional of a person but that doesn't mean you can't communicate clearly about how you feel. Also doesn't prevent you from sacking up and making decisions about whether you want to be with someone or not (in a timely manner), even if you know telling them the latter will make them feel like shit. I just did it to someone a few weeks ago.

 

[pizoxuat]

If you are going to give this a shot, something that might help you is reading up on the 5 love languages. The basic idea is that people both express or receive love in 5 broad categories: words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, and physical touch. Most people have one or two of these categories that really makes them feel loved when they receive them, and most people have one or two of these categories they are naturally moved to perform when they want to express love. The same person may, for example, feel love from acts of service but express love through words of affirmation.

I think that with you being naturally dense at relationships and bad at expressing emotions, if you can work with her to find out how she receives love, you then know you can focus on that category. Overtime maybe you'll figure out how you receive love and she can target her attempts to communicate with you that way.

It's not a perfect system by any means, but I think that for someone who is struggling with expressing emotion, it makes for a decent starting point.

 

[CassCade]

Y'all motherfuckers start some weird ass girl-related threads.

Also OP you sound more than just not outwardly emotional - you sound awkward as hell talking about feelings. Normally if you're not that emotional you lean towards the more rationalizing side but you don't sound like you have much of that either.

If you're not ready for a relationship, say you're not ready and stop wasting that girl's time. If you are, then be clear about it (like wtf is this "i said okay and she said okay but not sure if that means yes"?) and go be a boyfriend.

I've never been that emotional of a person but that doesn't mean you can't communicate clearly about how you feel. Also doesn't prevent you from sacking up and making decisions about whether you want to be with someone or not (in a timely manner), even if you know telling them the latter will make them feel like shit. I just did it to someone a few weeks ago.

Click to shrink...

I do find emotions difficult, I think I might have alexithymia, it so accurately describes me. As far as I understand it, communication, intimacy and relationships in general are built or thrive on ones capability to understand emotions. Some people need more help than others.

If you are going to give this a shot, something that might help you is reading up on the 5 love languages. The basic idea is that people both express or receive love in 5 broad categories: words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, and physical touch. Most people have one or two of these categories that really makes them feel loved when they receive them, and most people have one or two of these categories they are naturally moved to perform when they want to express love. The same person may, for example, feel love from acts of service but express love through words of affirmation.

I think that with you being naturally dense at relationships and bad at expressing emotions, if you can work with her to find out how she receives love, you then know you can focus on that category. Overtime maybe you'll figure out how you receive love and she can target her attempts to communicate with you that way.

It's not a perfect system by any means, but I think that for someone who is struggling with expressing emotion, it makes for a decent starting point.

Click to shrink...

This is very interesting and helpful, I'll read up more on it.

 

[Ryan.]

*girl is riding OP having a good time, smiles and looks at OP*

OP- Should we stop?

Click to shrink...

OP: Is this a relationship?

 

[Siggy-P]

She came by with some food and brought me some potato scotch eggs (I love that shit). It was a bit awkward, I tried to tell her my thoughts but it came out as verbal diarrhoea, at least to me, she understood what I was trying to say, she was surprised that I made contact and said I was more emotionally mature than she told me my friend had basically told her about my past relationships and how I "struggle" with emotions and people and told her to be patient with me. She asked me if I wanted to end things, I said no and asked me if I wanted more, I told her I wasn't sure how I felt and she asked me if am willing to give it a go and I said yes. She said okay, am not entirely sure if it was an okay as a yes let's do it bit am assuming yes because she's now text and calling again. And before someone asks, no we didnt have sex, she had plans with some of her friends. She's now too curious about my ex's.

Click to shrink...

Good job.

Now ask her out. Don't read too much into just "okay". She obviously likes you.


And as easier as it is for me to say than for you to do; don't think about the past relationships, just focus on this one.

 

[Sal_S]

I love happy endings



😏

 

[Chopchop]

She came by with some food and brought me some potato scotch eggs (I love that shit). It was a bit awkward, I tried to tell her my thoughts but it came out as verbal diarrhoea, at least to me, she understood what I was trying to say, she was surprised that I made contact and said I was more emotionally mature than she told me my friend had basically told her about my past relationships and how I "struggle" with emotions and people and told her to be patient with me. She asked me if I wanted to end things, I said no and asked me if I wanted more, I told her I wasn't sure how I felt and she asked me if am willing to give it a go and I said yes. She said okay, am not entirely sure if it was an okay as a yes let's do it bit am assuming yes because she's now text and calling again. And before someone asks, no we didnt have sex, she had plans with some of her friends. She's now too curious about my ex's.

Click to shrink...

Congrats. It sounds like it went well, then. It's good that she's willing to work with you, and she seems very considerate of your feelings.

Take things slow and explore things at your own pace.

 

[Deleted member 3093]

I think I had an actual anxiety attack when I saw what OP was about to say to her. I'm so relieved that he didn't say that.

 

[XDevil666]

I'm with you OP I hate face to face contact during sex, freaks me out also.

 

[Deleted member 14518]

She came by with some food and brought me some potato scotch eggs (I love that shit). It was a bit awkward, I tried to tell her my thoughts but it came out as verbal diarrhoea, at least to me, she understood what I was trying to say, she was surprised that I made contact and said I was more emotionally mature than she told me my friend had basically told her about my past relationships and how I "struggle" with emotions and people and told her to be patient with me. She asked me if I wanted to end things, I said no and asked me if I wanted more, I told her I wasn't sure how I felt and she asked me if am willing to give it a go and I said yes. She said okay, am not entirely sure if it was an okay as a yes let's do it bit am assuming yes because she's now text and calling again. And before someone asks, no we didnt have sex, she had plans with some of her friends. She's now too curious about my ex's.

Click to shrink...

lol you gots a gf... chill man, just let it happen and see what happens.

 

[HardTimesFamilyPride]

Happy for yooouu OP

 

[Deleted member 6949]

"we were started having sex and she got on top of me and she started caressing my face while riding (such a crude term) me and then started looking at me in the eyes, I try to look somewhere else but she turned my head back. Eye contact during sex makes me feel very weird but that wasn't what freaked me out, what freaked me out was the look on her face, she seemed genuinely happy"

She sounds like a classic succubus. The only thing a succubus loves more than succubussing is it's own reflection. If the demon sees it's own reflection in a mirror it will become momentarily trapped in the mirror. As soon as the demon becomes trapped it the mirror you must drop it it the ground symbolizing the fall of the demons from heaven.

 

[CassCade]

"we were started having sex and she got on top of me and she started caressing my face while riding (such a crude term) me and then started looking at me in the eyes, I try to look somewhere else but she turned my head back. Eye contact during sex makes me feel very weird but that wasn't what freaked me out, what freaked me out was the look on her face, she seemed genuinely happy"

She sounds like a classic succubus. The only thing a succubus loves more than succubussing is it's own reflection. If the demon sees it's own reflection in a mirror it will become momentarily trapped in the mirror. As soon as the demon becomes trapped it the mirror you must drop it it the ground symbolizing the fall of the demons from heaven.

Click to shrink...

Lol, that perfectly explains why am so exhausted after sex.

 

[Sidebuster]

"we were started having sex and she got on top of me and she started caressing my face while riding (such a crude term) me and then started looking at me in the eyes, I try to look somewhere else but she turned my head back. Eye contact during sex makes me feel very weird but that wasn't what freaked me out, what freaked me out was the look on her face, she seemed genuinely happy"

She sounds like a classic succubus. The only thing a succubus loves more than succubussing is it's own reflection. If the demon sees it's own reflection in a mirror it will become momentarily trapped in the mirror. As soon as the demon becomes trapped it the mirror you must drop it it the ground symbolizing the fall of the demons from heaven.

Click to shrink...

But then you'll get 7 years of bad luck!

 

[Valcrist]

She sounds awesome, date her you fool.

 

[Deleted member 6949]

But then you'll get 7 years of bad luck!

Click to shrink...

You could also incinerate it and its young, like they did at the end of Species. But be wary, if you leave even a small piece behind a rat might eat it and turn into Natasha Henstridge.