Of course it doesn't show that.
TLJ specifically showed Ben's view of how Luke was standing over him with a lightsaber drawn seemingly about to murder him in his sleep. The movie did the opposite of what you're saying and added another layer of tragedy to Ben.
No. No. NO.
Why do people always use this flashback when we know it is false? The crazy, murderer Luke is the Luke that Kylo portrays to Rey to manipulate her into joining his side. It's not what actually happens. The deeper questions is whether Kylo actually believes this POV to be true, but the answer is irrelevant because he NEEDS it to be true. He can't accept that Luke was a caring uncle that was trying to guide him and wasn't jealous of his power and trying to murder him in in his sleep. He needs the Hut incident to happen that way so he can justify his horrible actions. He needs a scapegoat in the form of Luke. This is why Luke knew he couldn't be the one to "save" Ben. Because Luke and Snoke could always be used as Kylo as scapegoats for his behavior, once they were removed in TLJ it should have allowed Kylo to confront the harsh reality of who he is and the choices he made.
Let's examine this, if Kylo really thought Luke Skywalker was the man pictured above then why did he also destroy his temple and murder all his students? Now, don't quote me some dumbass comics, those don't matter. The only thing that matters are the films. And, the films are clear that Kylo destroyed the temple and killed Luke's students. Nothing in TROS contradicts this. So, why if it was just Luke that was mean to him and he acted purely in self-defense, why did he need to go so far as to completely destroy his temple and cut down a bunch of kids? Why didn't he just return to his loving parents who'd understand him defending himself? Maybe, just maybe, it was never about Luke. Perhaps, this is how Kylo has always been.
Ben wants acceptance and love. He wants power but he doesn't want to be alone. That's why he extends his hand to Rey.
When Rey rejects him and the ship splits in half, and Ben wakes up, it's basically a repeat of when Luke almost struck him down and the hut collapsed. Ben is filled with the same anger and hate that he experienced that night. Because he feels alone. It's only in these final moments that Ben sees how useless and self destructive this anger is.
Ben doesn't actually want to be alone. He's a character who thinks that acts like killing his father or becoming Supreme Leader will bring him closer to the dark side and that he will be happier if he can just extinguish the call to the light he's feeling, but that just doesn't happen. It doesn't bring him any satisfaction. His father's dice fading in his hands and Rey closing the door on him clearly weigh on him. They wouldn't if all he cared for was power.
That's exactly what already happened in Last Jedi in the moment above.
And yes, we already saw these two things directly contrasted too.
I hate to compare Kylo Ren/TFO to the alt-right since TFA came out before the election of Trump and pre-dominance of the alt-right in the media's mind. However, TLJ is specifically trying to make allusions to the alt-right and confronting toxic masculinity. As a result, Kylo Ren channels incel characteristics. This is a man with loving parents. A person who came from wealth. A person whose family was renowned and respected. Yet, he's an angst riddled man-child who literally attempts to murder his loving parents, to kill those memories. Why? Well, we're meant to ponder on that before TROS and to me the answer was clear, much like incels and alt-right supporters, Kylo/Ben likely felt he wasn't given the respect he felt he was owed. He came from royalty, he's a literal Prince. But, I bet you that neither Luke, Han, or Leia treated him as such, at least in his eyes. They probably tried to raise him like he was equal to everyone else, to not give him special treatment. And, the idea of equality is poison to such individuals as they feel they were denied their birthright ie white supremacy.
This is why Kylo is so obsessed with Anakin's saber and the Vader helmet, he feels this legacy is owed to him. The power. The respect. The superiority. And, these are things that were denied to him by his family so that he could be among "equals." He likely loathe Luke because he wasn't treated as his special apprentice who all other students should bow before. Thus, he rebels and joins Snoke because TFO offers him what he believes he's always wanted, superiority. To be called
Master of the Knights of Ren, likely meant a lot to him and his ego.
But, like all incels he doesn't want to be alone. He also wants to be loved. But, to him love is owed, something he demands, not something he earns. We see this as he yells and feebly begs for Rey to join him. However, he's unwilling to do anything to earn that love, he's unwilling to give up his thoughts of superiority.
TLJ sets up a possible path to redemption as he realizes what this path will ultimately lead him towards, solitude. Yet, this is NOT reinforced by TROS. It's completely abandoned and instead Ren flips 180 after seeing a Force Ghost/Memory of the father he murdered.
Great post, with this being my only point of contention here. The thing about Ren is that for all his tantrums and sound and fury, he doesn't seem to actually want anything from the dark side. He makes some mentions of power, sure, but I feel what he's really seeking is some kind of inner peace. In TFA, he talks about how he's being torn and drawn to the light. For me, his killing of Han Solo in TFA wasn't so much a grab at power as it was an attempt to fully commit to the dark side. Yes, he'd get power, but he wouldn't have to live with fear, with guilt, with anger. He could be the stoic, uncaring badass he idealizes Vader to be.
Which is what ultimately causes his disillusionment with Snoke. He recognizes that Snoke is just once again dangling this promise to him that he will finally be happy if he just kills Rey, and he recognizes that all Snoke's actually doing is manipulating his sense of unhappiness. For Kylo Ren, it was just the Han moment all over again, and he knew that even if he did what Snoke asked, he wouldn't find peace.
There's also the Luke incident. I've thought a lot about that in terms of unreliable narration and I constantly wonder if that dark eyed, evil Luke whose trying to murder him, was he just trying to manipulate Rey. And Kylo Ren definitely tries to manipulate Rey in several cases. Like forcing her to verbalize "Why did you kill Han" (something emotionally difficult for her) seemingly just to make her say it, before, instead of answering, he just turns the question on her and her insecurities. This is a complicated issue since we know Luke fucked up, but Kylo Ren's response, his seething hatred of Luke seems an overreaction.
Ultimately, one reason I think people have trouble parsing out Kylo Ren and his potential redemption is that no one can truly figure out what his deal is. Like you pointed out, his life is so privileged compared to any protagonist of the series. He is born into one of the most beloved and loving families in the galaxy, one of the wealthiest, during peacetime after a great war, is not just force sensitive but has some of the greatest potential of his generation, tutored by Luke, the Hero of the Rebellion....What more could he want? What else does the universe have to give him in order for him to be happy? He feels like he's....just angry and miserable. As if those are his defining characteristics as a person and he can't get rid of them no matter what he does.
See above.
Again, I believe Kylo has to see Luke the way he does otherwise his whole internal narrative he built up to justify his actions fall apart. It's also why Luke had to remove himself from the playing board.