Terry Crews criticised for saying children of same-sex parents are ‘severely malnourished’, has since apologized and deleted comment

Einchy · Mar 4, 2019

Kenstar said:
>slip up
If that's what you want to call doubling down so much you start needing scientific notation sure

Yeah, dude fucked up and is probably angry that people are accusing him of being something he knows he isn't and isn't willing to back down because it might mean making them think he is what they're accusing him of being.

You see this shit daily, someone will be wrong and won't admit it so then you have, like, a billion pages of that person arguing back and forth. Terry Crews is human, he fucked up, and now he's annoyed that thousands of people are shitting on him. Not everyone is gonna act in the most calm and nonemotional way in a situation like that.

Jack Scofield · Mar 4, 2019

Is it really that hard for celebrities to stay off Twitter?

RedMercury · Mar 4, 2019

Einchy said:
Cancel culture is not dismissive and I've never seen anyone but leftist use it. This quote I found goes over it pretty well:

https://www.vogue.co.uk/article/chidera-eggerue-interview

Cancel culture is all about wanting people to be perfect and throwing them away the second they reveal themselves to be human who aren't perfect.

What do they mean by "discarding" though? Couldn't that just as well be looked at as putting them on the backburner for a while to learn what they did wrong? Like, of course people are going to be wary when stuff like this happens, and the thing is I bet a lot of the people who are "victims" of cancel culture aren't even really apologetic. All people need to say is "i fucked up, I was wrong, this is why I was wrong and here's how I'm committed to doing better in the future", but very few people do that. TC had a lot of progressive clout, enough for people to take him at his word had he apologized, a lot of people don't even have that. Also, for as long as "cancel culture" has been a thing, which is not long, it's kind of early to say nobody can be redeemed, no?

And again, I don't think it's about perfection, I think that's an excuse people make to frame progressive values as an unattainable goal. I don't think that is what progressives are demanding, I think if anything we are demanding people to admit they are wrong and change when they are shown they are wrong or are doing/saying something harmful. Are there people out there completely unwilling to give anyone a chance to learn? Probably, but there's people who believe all sorts of stuff, I don't think it represents most progressives.

Einchy · Mar 4, 2019

RedMercury said:
What do they mean by "discarding" though? Couldn't that just as well be looked at as putting them on the backburner for a while to learn what they did wrong? Like, of course people are going to be wary when stuff like this happens, and the thing is I bet a lot of the people who are "victims" of cancel culture aren't even really apologetic. All people need to say is "i fucked up, I was wrong, this is why I was wrong and here's how I'm committed to doing better in the future", but very few people do that. TC had a lot of progressive clout, enough for people to take him at his word had he apologized, a lot of people don't even have that. Also, for as long as "cancel culture" has been a thing, which is not long, it's kind of early to say nobody can be redeemed, no?

And again, I don't think it's about perfection, I think that's an excuse people make to frame progressive values as an unattainable goal. I don't think that is what progressives are demanding, I think if anything we are demanding people to admit they are wrong and change when they are shown they are wrong or are doing/saying something harmful. Are there people out there completely unwilling to give anyone a chance to learn? Probably, but there's people who believe all sorts of stuff, I don't think it represents most progressives.

I don't think it represents most progressives, at least I would hope not, but cancel culture is specifically about progressives who do want perfection from other famous progressives and will not give them a chance at all the second they see something they deem cancelable.

This happens enough that other progressives have coined a name for it.

Kaitos · Mar 4, 2019

Terry whyyyyyyyy

travisbickle · Mar 4, 2019

Paternal/maternal are social constructs. The majority of same sex parents will each take on a maternal/paternal role.

I understand him because I have a dead dad so I've heard people like him my whole life, but maternal/paternal ideology is embedded within our society well beyond the physical mother and father. Even dead dad's are good paternal figures.

Stouffers · Mar 4, 2019

HEY FAMOUS PEOPLE. GET OFF SOCIAL MEDIA

flkRaven · Mar 4, 2019

Stouffers said:
HEY FAMOUS PEOPLE. GET OFF SOCIAL MEDIA

Terry crews has easily been a net positive force.

RedMercury · Mar 4, 2019

Einchy said:
I don't think it represents most progressives, at least I would hope not, but cancel culture is specifically about progressives who do want perfection from other famous progressives and will not give them a chance at all the second they see something they deem cancelable.

This happens enough that other progressives have coined a name for it.

Did the name come from her or was it around before? I see what she's getting at, and I don't entirely disagree necessarily, especially this bit

"You can't pick and choose when a person is of value to you," she continues. "If you're going to admire someone for the work they do then you have to understand that they are a multi-faceted, nuanced person who is going to disappoint you at times and that it's up to you how you choose to respond to that.

I do agree people should not be idolized, and there needs to be an understanding that people might mess up, but then she goes on to say it's up to people how they choose to respond to it, so is "cancel culture" really a "problem" then if that's just how people are responding?

"A lot of people want change, but they aren't receptive to the method through which that change comes. Change isn't going to come nicely. It's not going to be people saying politely, 'Please consider me as person'," she says. "The suffragettes weren't politely asking for the right to vote, people were throwing themselves under horses."

I agree with this as well, if cancel culture is change not coming nicely, is it a bad thing?

"We're in a culture now where we're discarding people before we actually decide: Do we want to create healthy room for people to learn from their mistakes and show us through their actions that they have changed or do we want to cancel this person, ostracise them from the community, and then be angry with them for not trying to win us back?

The people who get "cancelled" by and large don't do this. I bet most of them have a sizable platform on spaces like Twitter, if they are doubling down or if they refuse to consider they are wrong, is it up to everyone else t wait patiently for the while the hurtful thing they have said or done is out there unchallenged being spread from their platform?

Stouffers · Mar 4, 2019

flkRaven said:
Terry crews has easily been a net positive force.

A lot of "canceled" people have been net positive forces. What is your point?

flkRaven · Mar 4, 2019

Stouffers said:
A lot of "canceled" people have been net positive forces. What is your point?

My point was that you saying "get off social media" was a "net" wrong.

Stouffers · Mar 4, 2019

flkRaven said:
My point was that you saying "get off social media" was a "net" wrong.

I think social media is destroying the world. I think it's evil.

Has his show weighed in yet?

flkRaven · Mar 4, 2019

Stouffers said:
I think social media is destroying the world. I think it's evil.

Has his show weighed in yet?

Maybe. However, I think the responsibility falls squarely on the people quick to pull out pitch forks, and those that hold these celebrities to some moral, perfect, pure standard that they themselves would never pass.

Stouffers · Mar 4, 2019

flkRaven said:
Maybe. However, I think the responsibility falls squarely on the people quick to pull out pitch forks, and those that hold these celebrities to some moral, perfect, pure standard that they themselves would never pass.

Fame is a double edged sword.

Lionheart · Mar 4, 2019

Some of the way he frames his arguments is questionable but I think on a broad level he has some merit. Like first of all you aren't 100% influenced by your parents, there are other people in your life that influence the person you become. Whether you have 1 mom and 1 dad, 2 moms, 1 mom and no dad, somewhere while growing up having a positive male role model would be beneficial. If i was a gay dude raising a child, I would want a woman to be in that childs life too especially if I have a daughter. Certain topics I would ask my female friend to assist. Its fine. Same goes for the opposite scenario. I think lesbian parents would probably want that too even if its situational at best.

Lesthe · Mar 5, 2019

Devil said:
I don't know why you would possibly ask me this after reading what you quoted. I literally said that I turned out fine, too.

Hm, I'm sorry, it wasn't toward you, rather towards Terry Crews. I didn't meant to ask this to you...

VegiHam · Mar 5, 2019

Interesting that it's now that people are deciding cancel culture is bad and we shouldn't take the disappointment in Crews seriously. And by interesting I mean genuinely disheartening that of course it's when the beloved celebrity is homophobic that people find the strength and moral fortitude to be 'forgiving' (which is to say opt out of caring about people's concerns.)

Embedded · Mar 5, 2019

People say foolish shit all the time and famous people do it too.
I think the problem is that as a society we look up to those people as their opinions have more value than someone's who is not famous.
We should stop give them more credits than they deserve and form our own opinions.

Deleted member 8861 · Mar 5, 2019

I can only hope he meant everyone should have both male and female role models in their life as they grow up... Not restricted to parenthood but in general. But that doesn't make what he's saying any more correct

Aske · Mar 5, 2019

Stop It said:
My thoughts exactly. God Damnit.

Yes, he and you are *wrong*.

There is no evidence at all that same sex couples raise their children any less effectively than heterosexual couples.

Everyone's different and let's face it, the divorce rate in western society is high enough to show that for many children, 2 parents throughout their upbringing isn't the reality for a lot of them.

You do not become a better or more complete parent by having an opposite gender parent with you. It's all down to the individual. There's no inherent advantage to heterosexual couples in this regard at all.

I can understand why people might feel this way, but it's completely wrong.

I feel like a lot of people - Crews among them - are desperately trying to reconcile the fact that parents can be exemplary regardless of race and gender, with the fact that race and gender are concepts which exist and are important; and having role models who can speak to the black experience, or the male experience, is valuable to the point of necessity for black or male children. However, that doesn't mean those role models need to be a child's parents, and it doesn't mean that conscientious, loving people need to represent specific genders or (ethnicities or sexual orientations) in order to be fantastic at parenting.

I think Crews is trying to say he thinks that it's more valuable for, say, a boy to have a male parent; or a gay kid to have a gay parent, than for them to not. But while they might bring incredibly valuable and unique perspectives to the table that help enormously with parenting, their absence doesn't mean a kid will grow up stunted.

I'm reading it as akin to saying "I think it's crucial that schools have teachers whose ethic diversity reflects that of the student body." That doesn't mean kids being taught by an all-white faculty will be stunted, but that the level of enrichment diverse authority figures bring is so valuable that the lack of it would be noticeably distressing. And that translates to his regrettable "malnourishment" faux pas.

The solution is not to swap out a woman for a man parent-wise; it's finding a "third parent." Recognizing that it takes a village to raise a kid, and if two straight parents have a gay daughter, it would be a shame if she lacked a gay female parental role model in the form of, say, an aunt, or family friend.

That's just what I'm getting from the Tweets/discourse posted in the OP. If he's said more phobic stuff in the past that I'm not aware of, please correct me.

Deleted member 835 · Mar 5, 2019

If Crews had just said he fucked up and chilled it wouldn't have got this crazy.

Like I said a few pages back this tweet by Crews is when do went over the edge

Dirtyshubb · Mar 5, 2019

It's quite funny, Terry is inadvertently defending the very thing he thinks he is against and that's toxic masculinity.

The idea that you need good male role models is flawed to begin with because all it is saying is we need to keep gender roles, just made more considerate of others.

If we as a society wants to move past toxic masculinity, we need to start teaching that nothing is feminine or masculine because its all just societal enforced norms and not biological.

BLEEN · Mar 5, 2019

Beefy said:
If Crews had just said he fucked up and chilled it wouldn't have got this crazy.

Like I said a few pages back this tweet by Crews is when do went over the edge

Teeeeeeeiiiiit

OwOtacon · Mar 5, 2019

flkRaven said:
Terry crews has easily been a net positive force.

He compared trans people to Rachel Dolezal. Net positive for cis people maybe.

TyrantGuardian · Mar 5, 2019

Dirtyshubb said:
It's quite funny, Terry is inadvertently defending the very thing he thinks he is against and that's toxic masculinity.

The idea that you need good male role models is flawed to begin with because all it is saying is we need to keep gender roles, just made more considerate of others.

If we as a society wants to move past toxic masculinity, we need to start teaching that nothing is feminine or masculine because its all just societal enforced norms and not biological.

Nail on head.

Rinse Bassfunk · Mar 5, 2019

Dirtyshubb said:
It's quite funny, Terry is inadvertently defending the very thing he thinks he is against and that's toxic masculinity.

The idea that you need good male role models is flawed to begin with because all it is saying is we need to keep gender roles, just made more considerate of others.

If we as a society wants to move past toxic masculinity, we need to start teaching that nothing is feminine or masculine because its all just societal enforced norms and not biological.

TyrantGuardian said:
Nail on head.

Exactly

Plywood · Mar 5, 2019

Twitter really has people go off on each other hard. It can be such an ugly platform and while there are those that might be in it for the drama, others are simply hurting. Hopefully, in time, he can learn and grow from this.

Razmos · Mar 5, 2019

I'd argue that straight parents are potentially more harmful due to gender roles and how they are portrayed in the family unit.

Trup1aya · Mar 5, 2019

Man it sucks to see him steer so far away from his initial message.

Men do need to be held accountable by other men. Having positive male role models would be beneficial in ANY child's life.

But such a figure doesn't need to be "paternal". And none of this means same sex couples can't raise a child as effectively as a heterosexual couple. Obviously there will be good/bad parents in either scenario.

All in all, I'm sure Terry feels like HE was "malnourished" as a child, and wants to do his part to make sure other kids don't have to feel that way. I think he's obviously far from perfect, but is kind hearted. Hopefully he'll learn from this and come back better.

Studge · Mar 5, 2019

Beefy said:
If Crews had just said he fucked up and chilled it wouldn't have got this crazy.

This is what I find so baffling about this kinda thing when it happens, it's very easy to NOT fuck up this bad. People need to take a lesson from improv and learn to "Yes, and..." when this happens. I can say from experience that this goes for private arguments as well, like with a significant other.

If someone tells you you fucked up and did or said something shitty, your first response should be a "yes" answer. Acknowledge their feelings right out the gate because at this point your original intent means jack shit. The reality of that moment is that you caused someone pain and they are expressing it to you. Acknowledge that shit! After that you can move onto the "and" part where you also acknowledge your own ignorance to the offensiveness of what you did/said and ask for guidance. Now you've turned the argument into a discussion and hopefully diffused some of the initial anger aimed at you. From here you just listen to people and accept what they tell you, keep the "Yes, and..." going as you both try and get to the bottom of why your original opinion was hurtful and what misunderstandings might be existing on either side.

For Terry, it's pretty obvious he sees himself as a positive father figure and he probably is a good one. However, given how serious he takes his role of "good father" it's not a stretch to imagine this clouding his perception of other kids' experiences and projecting his own parenting situation onto other families and seeing them as lacking when they don't match his. If he had met people's initial confusion and disappointment with humility and a genuine effort to understand the disconnect he could have evolved his thinking and avoided all the shit he's brought on himself.

The other crazy thing is that people love a good redemption story and we also love being right. If he had navigated this situation correctly he probably could have grown to be even more liked and admired than before.

KtotheRoc · Mar 5, 2019

https://twitter.com/terrycrews/status/1103038516156489729

https://twitter.com/terrycrews/status/1103038519616794624

Had a great talk with @iamstephbeatz this morning on set that shed a lot of light on why the LBGTQ community were hurt by my comments. I want to apologize for anyone who was triggered or felt targeted. I was speaking out of my very personal experiences as a Black Father.

And while these experiences for me are very true and real, these can differ greatly from the experiences of others. Being able to sit with @iamstephbeatz gave me a perspective I had not seen before.

I believe men need to be more vulnerable in order to fix the many problems that we created and this starts with me. We don't always have to agree, but we must always listen. I love every person on earth, and want to see every man, woman and child flourish.

(How awesome is Stephanie Beatriz? Incredibly.)

selfReg · Mar 5, 2019

sickkkkkkkkk.

Baneros · Mar 5, 2019

"Had a great talk with @iamstephbeatz this morning on set that shed a lot of light on why the LBGTQ community were hurt by my comments.

I want to apologize for anyone who was triggered or felt targeted. I was speaking out of my very personal experiences as a Black Father."

Rosa, Rosa, Roosa🎵

Randomly Generated · Mar 5, 2019

KtotheRoc said:
https://twitter.com/terrycrews/status/1103038516156489729

https://twitter.com/terrycrews/status/1103038519616794624

(How awesome is Stephanie Beatriz? Incredibly.)

I was wondering how she felt about this.

HiredN00bs · Mar 5, 2019

Headline: Terry Crews Is A Human Being Who Believed Some Bullshit He Heard in Church

Steel · Mar 5, 2019

Truant said:
Oh, Terry. You were the last true great male role model :(

See, the trick is to not look up to any celebrity or politician. That way you aren't really disappointed when they do shit like this because you don't really like them personally to begin with.

The only time I broke this rule for celebrities was for Anthony Bordain.

scaryrobots · Mar 5, 2019

Stouffers said:
HEY FAMOUS PEOPLE. GET OFF SOCIAL MEDIA

Just don't pay attention to them.

Sephzilla · Mar 5, 2019

His apology seems genuine but I'm still side eyeing him a little bit because he's had a few other suspect moments and I wasn't a fan of how he double and tripled down on this

Amiablepercy · Mar 5, 2019

Sephzilla said:
His apology seems genuine but I'm still side eyeing him a little bit because he's had a few other suspect moments and I wasn't a fan of how he double and tripled down on this

Unfucking ones mind and taught ignorance can be more of a process for some people than others. His appology seemed genuine but will only be proven an amends if his behavior and statements change for the good in the future. Action, personal work > I'm sorry every time for me. Hopefully it turns out that way for Terry.

MyCatPlaysFetch · Mar 5, 2019

One thing that is cancelled is my Crackdown download.

Batatina · Mar 5, 2019

We all have dark days where we are angry at things and don't see things with the same empathy as our better days. The trick is that you should avoid social media when you're in a dark spot, because the internet is permanent and you can hurt people you didn't mean to.

RedMercury · Mar 5, 2019

"I want to apologize for anyone who was triggered or felt targeted. I was speaking out of my very personal experiences as a Black Father."

This isn't that far off from "sorry you were offended", and couching veracity in experiences only means that there is only subjective truth and everyone is always correct. What is good though is that he had the conversation with someone and was able to get that perspective.

ElectricBlanketFire · Mar 5, 2019

Batatina said:
We all have dark days where we are angry at things and don't see things with the same empathy as our better days. The trick is that you should avoid social media when you're in a dark spot, because the internet is permanent and you can hurt people you didn't mean to.

Wait what? He wasn't in a dark spot. It was pseudo-wisdom he chose to share and got criticized for it. Then, instead of apologizing straight away, he decided to dig in further.

The trick is to not post stupid things.

Mechanized · Mar 5, 2019

Baneros said:
"Had a great talk with @iamstephbeatz this morning on set that shed a lot of light on why the LBGTQ community were hurt by my comments.

I want to apologize for anyone who was triggered or felt targeted. I was speaking out of my very personal experiences as a Black Father."

Rosa, Rosa, Roosa🎵

This is the way it should go down, "canceling" someone doesn't change any hearts or minds. Terry for sure isn't close minded so an honest talk can do a world of wonders rather than being snide on Twitter and obtuse regarding why he should know better.

Montresor · Mar 5, 2019

Dirtyshubb said:
It's quite funny, Terry is inadvertently defending the very thing he thinks he is against and that's toxic masculinity.

The idea that you need good male role models is flawed to begin with because all it is saying is we need to keep gender roles, just made more considerate of others.

If we as a society wants to move past toxic masculinity, we need to start teaching that nothing is feminine or masculine because its all just societal enforced norms and not biological.

I call bullshit on your last paragraph. There are certainly biological differences, unless I'm misunderstanding what you're trying to say.

Mona · Mar 5, 2019

Terry Crews - "im sorry you were triggered"

whitehawk · Mar 5, 2019

Last tweet is great. I forgive him, and would rather embrace him so he can learn from this, which he seems open to.

"Cancelling" him right away is so childish.

Yerffej · Mar 5, 2019

Mona said:
Terry Crews - "im sorry you were triggered"

ok

Batatina · Mar 5, 2019

ElectricBlanketFire said:
Wait what? He wasn't in a dark spot. It was pseudo-wisdom he chose to share and got criticized for it. Then, instead of apologizing straight away, he decided to dig in further.

The trick is to not post stupid things.

I don't know. I'm trying give the benefit of the doubt I guess. I dislike his opinion very strongly, as a gay man myself who believes in gay couples adopting. But I just feel that these words are coming from a darker place, from some anger or issue we don't know about. Something he should sort out before posting harmful things out in the world. Or maybe he's just disappointing as a person, there's always that option.

RedMercury · Mar 5, 2019

whitehawk said:
"Cancelling" him right away is so childish.

What do you mean specifically when you say "cancelling", and why call people concerned about his comments childish, especially LGBT people?

Terry Crews criticised for saying children of same-sex parents are ‘severely malnourished’, has since apologized and deleted comment

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