well that and it was revealed he was a huge backstage booster for fuckin' Green Book to win Best Picture
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Terry Crews criticised for saying children of same-sex parents are ‘severely malnourished’, has since apologized and deleted comment
- Thread starter Saya
- Start date
I think this is what happened and probably why he was so defensive when there was pushback.
Ya but... so?
NBC will just pick them up if we do :(
I don't disagree that there is a benefit to having both maternal and paternal love in your life, but it certainly does not have to be from a heterosexual parental unit. And I don't think he was saying that. As someone that raised a little boy mostly by himself there was a huge benefit to the interactions he had with my mother.
Why do people insist on doubling down on topics they don't know? Terry is not a family psychologist, so why the fuck is he slamming his opinion and "nutrition" metaphors around like it has any weight? You're wrong, Terry.
Right. I've been debating whether to wade into this one since it seems like the kind of thread where people catch bans, but Terry isn't entirely off base.
I'm looking at the tweet that says this:
he's...not wrong here. There have been studies done over and over and over that hammer this point home.
https://blogs.edweek.org/edweek/edu..._crisis_the_lack_of_positive_role_models.html
https://www.miamiherald.com/news/local/education/article213061544.html
https://scholarworks.smith.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=2351&context=theses
My interpretation of what Terry is saying is that same sex parenting is fine, but for boys in general and African American males SPECIFICALLY lack of a positive father figure does real, lasting damage and in the absence of a parental father figure (whether it be a biological one, or an adoptive one like a mentor, teacher, or religious figure) there will be a tendency to SEEK ONE OUT and often times that "father figure" is a bad influence from the street. These kids need to be set up with positive male role models because there is a real need to see successful, positive influences that look like them and can guide them. Without those influences these kids end up worse off.
He could have phrased this differently as it came off wildly offensive, but he's not entirely wrong. Young African American boys need positive male figures, and unlike non-minority males there is a serious lack of them both in the family, the workplace, and the school system.
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Mods - Seems wrong to ban this poster considering he acknowledges that he is ignorant on the topic ? Rather than banning shouldn't we be educating?
Anyway on topic - damnit Terry, why did you have to have these views :(
:(
I'm guessing he still has issues due to the abuse he received from his father growing up. Unfortunate, you were doing so well Terry.
I'm guessing he still has issues due to the abuse he received from his father growing up. Unfortunate, you were doing so well Terry.
It's homophobic, to say the very least.
They can continue to learn from the thread whether they're banned or not
Ehhhh, he's had a few stumbles but at least he's seemed willing to learn in the past. I hope this time is no exception.
Because the concept of family is something virtually every one would have an opinion about.
You know what the greatest irony about this is?
From the time the first African landed in America, there has been a systematic destruction of the African American father child relationship.
Slavery- Families were deliberately separated to prevent strong bonds from forming. There was also the fact that slave unions (unless ordained by the master for breeding purposes) were frowned upon. I'm not saying that black women didn't suffer under this regime as well. They also lost their children at a rate that was far too high but they were sometimes allowed to at least form a bond with the child before it was sold.
Post Slavery- Lynchings and Jim Crow
Civil rights Era- Positive black male role models were outright murdered (Fred Hampton) or jailed.
70s till now. Everyone asking where are the black fathers? I'm not even touching the war on drugs and mass incarceration because I think its a result of everything that came before. The kids of the 70s and 80s had to grow up in an environment where almost every positive black figure who tried to change the community for the better was murdered or locked up. How things were back then wasn't a big surprise.
The black community has 400+ years of systematic erasure of the black family to combat in order to solve this problem.
Cancel culture is getting really out of hand.
I'm not referring to folks that are upset by his comments but I'm referring to the "fuck him, he's cancelled" reactions.
What I'm ok with, what I hope for is:
1. Someone says something stupid
2. They get called on it.
3. Sometimes they get defensive or reactive but hopefully take some time to think it over
4. They respond by admitting to their ignorance or their mistake, they want to learn
5. Their subsequent behavior begins to demonstrate a more thoughtful approach
Often, 5 doesn't happen. But I also don't agree with the "instant cancel" approach that we've been taking more and more. Many people deserve exile but I don't want to push people away before that opportunity for growth can happen.
I don't agree with Terry's comment about same sex couples but his other suggestion that it's important for a child to have positive role models of mutliple genders would have resonated more if he had been more considerate with his messaging.
I'm not referring to folks that are upset by his comments but I'm referring to the "fuck him, he's cancelled" reactions.
What I'm ok with, what I hope for is:
1. Someone says something stupid
2. They get called on it.
3. Sometimes they get defensive or reactive but hopefully take some time to think it over
4. They respond by admitting to their ignorance or their mistake, they want to learn
5. Their subsequent behavior begins to demonstrate a more thoughtful approach
Often, 5 doesn't happen. But I also don't agree with the "instant cancel" approach that we've been taking more and more. Many people deserve exile but I don't want to push people away before that opportunity for growth can happen.
I don't agree with Terry's comment about same sex couples but his other suggestion that it's important for a child to have positive role models of mutliple genders would have resonated more if he had been more considerate with his messaging.
How much am I getting paid to educate? Around here teachers start at about $50,000.
Right. I don't know what your background is, but mine is obvious as is Terry's. We're both coming from a place where these things are obvious and go without saying. I'm reading those tweets and immediately understanding that there is a vast dearth of positive black male role models in the schools, families, and community. Often by design (war on drugs, war on crime, over-policing, etc) and the lack of those male role models has done SERIOUS damage. I don't think most of Era "gets" this right off the bat, because if you're a white male, asian male, or hispanic male this isn't your reality.
You CANNOT separate Terry's comments from the reality of racial injustice and inequality in America, and Terry specifically pointed out he was talking about black males in his tweets.
About as much as you're getting paid to be aggressively cynical. Maybe a bit less.
Why specifically so, why can't anyone hold men accountable?
I don't think it's fair to drop something so homophobic and then just claim ignorance to any backlash. If you're ignorant on the subject at hand don't wade into it with shitty homophobic opinions.
Anyone can but he rightfully points out that men need to and they more often than not, do not.
Right. and we don't live in sex or gender blind society. If the "holding accountable" language isn't coming from men, or men are a small minority of voices those things DEFINITELY get noticed by the people who need to be hearing it the most.
It is necessary for men to be engaged and stay engaged if there is to be any progress. It can't be an "anyone" issue, it has to be an "everyone" issue.
Doesn't justify why he tries to speak as an authority on what children need as "maternal" or "paternal" love without defining or citing why or what that is.
If my husband and I have children, we will be able to offer a two parent household to a child that seamlessly offers nurturing found in any gender role. I don't need to be a woman to offer that. If he can't get that, he can fuck off. In fact, I wonder what kind of BENEFIT can come from being raised in a household that doesn't conform to gender roles and stereotypes. Maybe my kid could grow up to be the adult they want to be, and when it's time for them to date or buy their own clothes, they won't have a template imposed on them for what to be.
Because the opinion has more weight coming from a man when dealing with sexism from men and there is a tradition of men hand waving behaviour of men.
Sexists often dismiss criticism from women....can't think why
It's normally a fine talking point, but the fact that it's preceded by:
"Another thing that bothers me is that this OP-ED was written by a WOMAN about how how boys should be taught to grow into successful young men. How would she know?"
Doesn't put it in the same light
Where has he shown this? I keep going back to that awful transrace comment, and I remember him saying he would educate himself but never elaborating while leaving up the original take.
That's not at all what he 'rightfully' points out. He points out that she's a woman and she CANNOT know. He's not saying criticism would be better coming from a man. He's saying she can't criticize.
Which is fucking stupid as women have been living with the consequences of poorly raised men for a long time. They can criticize all they want. Men should be there too in the conversation, but if they back out then the conversation still needs to happen.
There's actual data on this luckily.
Doesn't support your claims on single gender two parent households Terry.
Doesn't support your claims on single gender two parent households Terry.
There is no evidence of this. Any such notion that there is a deficit for children in same-sex couples is pseudoscience.
That was actually what I was referring to. I thought he had admitted how wrong he was in his thinking, but I'll defer to you. I'm not the community he needs to prove it to.
So sometimes it can be a negative, and otherwise is unnecessary. So overall better to just to not have them I guess.
edit: this was sarcasm btw buy I guess suggesting men are totally unnecessary is an uncontroversial opinion here
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Everyone has their blind spots. Terry Crews seems like a legitimately kind and caring guy, despite this one opinion he seems to have that I don't agree with.
I'm tired of trying to "cancel" everyone for these kind of benign opinions. He obviously is a big proponent of the classic nuclear family, and frankly that's his right. He is far from spouting hate here, albeit the poor wording on his part.
I'm tired of trying to "cancel" everyone for these kind of benign opinions. He obviously is a big proponent of the classic nuclear family, and frankly that's his right. He is far from spouting hate here, albeit the poor wording on his part.
Did you actually read that OP-ED? It's seriously problematic to the point of being offensive.
Obama was speaking to a room full of black boys about the black male experience, and she dismissed it as "scolding." She is completely dismissive of mentorship entirely in favor of reparations and legislative intervention.
She equates obama warning against materialism to "calling out black children for having ghetto names." She claims his remarks "reflect his administrations failure to tackle systemic inequality." This is...a laughably terrible take that ignores all context, and willfully so.
Ms. Purnell seeks to "guess" about what black boys may or may not be stressed about, when she has no idea at all about the black male experience. She's quick to hit obama over "lecturing" in favor of what she feels would be preferable as a black woman who went to harvard. She's dismissive of mentorship, claiming she sees no benefit and legislative initiatives would be better. She's WILDLY off base here, and not speaking from a place she has any expertise or experience.
"How would she know?" is correct. Purnell is attempting to correct Obama on *HOW TO SPEAK TO BLACK BOYS ABOUT THE BLACK EXPERIENCE* claiming she knows better, when she has absolutely no clue about what any of those boys go through. "How would she know?" Is the only proper response as she's speaking from a place of ignorance, not expertise and she's doing it in the NYT, not on twitter.
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This. You give a person elevation for one thing and they start thinking that they need to be heard on everything. Crews has had so many good points about sexual harassment that he thinks he needs to heard about everything that he knows nothing about, which just exposes him. Hero worship is a mistake, Twitter is a mistake, listen and learn and stay in in your lane.
Wow, that gif is probably getting a lot of play right now.
You know, I wanna say that your posts here havd really changed my mind.
My dad was a deadbeat, but I would latch onto a whole range of positive role models throughout my teen years. Those role models existed for me to teach me what a good man was. Role models that minorities don't have. And I understand what he was trying to say, that children of two lesbians for example, still need male role models elsewhere.
However, I will say you also explained it a billion times better than Terry. It's hard not to look at the deleted tweet in the OP and think he was dispariging gay parents, and his defensiveness doesn't help as he isn't explaining himself.
This just happened....humans make mistake and can learn from them. The cancel culture is weird - even the best and most positive person can be wrong on issues or not find the right words to express.
I'll never understand how people can champion a person for years and want to end him the second he makes a mistake.
I'll never understand how people can champion a person for years and want to end him the second he makes a mistake.
Yes I read the op-ed and it's really not that different to what I read in Ta-Nehisi Coates' book We Were Eight Years in Power. Obama's outright almost dismissal of any sort of economic or systematic issue facing the black community is pretty well documented and talked about among black men, too. Part of that is political. Obama talking about reparations or something even remotely similar gets him in a lot of trouble. Obama talking about issues that white people can agree on is fine, though.
I think the author hits on an amazing point when she talks about the community just making "better" Trayvon Martins.