Yesterday I got the call that the sunshine & love of my life, my best buddy, my bedrock and companion for the last 7 years (anniversary of when we first met would've been on December 14th) passed away, weakened by a disease that proved to be too much, even though doctors had said just the night before that things were looking to be on an upwards trajectory.
In many ways we were perfect for each other. Both equally goofy and dumb with each other. Deep neverwavering love and support. Never any need for either one to pretend to be something we're not. In past relationships I've never felt 100% comfortable (probably more because of my insecurities), but here I could just be my dumb, flawed self. Of course we got annoyed at each other and occasionally argued but it never got too nasty and we always ended up talking things through.
We'll never talk again. We'll never just stare at each other's eyes. We'll never hug tightly when the other one is going away for awhile. We'll never just lay on the couch together on a lazy Sunday afternoon. We'll never laugh together at something totally dumb. We'll never get wasted on some weekends and have to wonder where all the bumps and bruises had come the next morning.
Gone. Just gone. Forever. I knew this day would come sooner rather than later but you always hope for more. Just a month ago it seemed like we would still have at least a couple more years.
At least our last words were "love you and a thousand hugs and kisses". There was a time a year ago when I was afraid this had happened and I thought I had ignored the last phone call I was going to get. Luckily at least I got to do this part right in the end.
Just needed to tell this to someone. I'll probably log off this site for some time. To grieve and try to figure how to go on. If I can go on.
Bye all.
In many ways we were perfect for each other. Both equally goofy and dumb with each other. Deep neverwavering love and support. Never any need for either one to pretend to be something we're not. In past relationships I've never felt 100% comfortable (probably more because of my insecurities), but here I could just be my dumb, flawed self. Of course we got annoyed at each other and occasionally argued but it never got too nasty and we always ended up talking things through.
We'll never talk again. We'll never just stare at each other's eyes. We'll never hug tightly when the other one is going away for awhile. We'll never just lay on the couch together on a lazy Sunday afternoon. We'll never laugh together at something totally dumb. We'll never get wasted on some weekends and have to wonder where all the bumps and bruises had come the next morning.
Gone. Just gone. Forever. I knew this day would come sooner rather than later but you always hope for more. Just a month ago it seemed like we would still have at least a couple more years.
At least our last words were "love you and a thousand hugs and kisses". There was a time a year ago when I was afraid this had happened and I thought I had ignored the last phone call I was going to get. Luckily at least I got to do this part right in the end.
Just needed to tell this to someone. I'll probably log off this site for some time. To grieve and try to figure how to go on. If I can go on.
Bye all.
