I was talking to my grandma who has been taking care of my great-grandma (Her name is Francis) since she broke her ankle a couple months ago. She has been in a senior rehab center in Oklahoma while she waits for the Doctor to say that it okay to remove the boot that shes had on her foot. And I call every few days to say hello and make sure they are taking good care of her and today my grandma let slip that my Great-grandma has had a new person that takes care of her on a daily basis for the past week or two. His name is "Hubert" and he is a really nice guy according to everyone I have talked to, but grandma Francis didn't like him at first. She didn't want a male nurse to take care of her which I thought was understandable, but then my grandma let slip that Hubert was an african american and grandma Francis didn't want a "black nurse" so she wasn't happy with the change.
Which absolutely floored me. I have known Grandma Francis for as long as I remember. I have NEVER heard anything remotely racist or even hateful come out of her mouth. She has been a devout christian her whole life. Volunteering whenever she could, donating whenever she could, helping anyone and everyone whenever she could. One of her closest friends at church when I was young was an african american woman that I called "Dottie". They were friends for DECADES until sadly Dottie passed away about 8 years ago. So to hear my grandma act that way just blew me away. And to be 100% clear my grandma is not in the best of mental health sometimes. She is there most days, but some days she just....isn't. Not entirely anyway. So maybe that could be the reason? Or at least part of it?
So I started asking alot more questions obviously, but apparently it was all for nothing because now here we are 2 weeks later and my grandma loves Hubert by all accounts. He calls her grandma and she calls him Huey. My grandma won't let anyone else take care of her during the day. She insists on waiting for Hubert to be able to help her get around and help her with all the things she needs.
But still this is someone I have known my whole life and to find out that she might of had that kind of prejudice inside her the whole time is kind of messing with my head. I am not sure how to handle it. I mean she is 97yrs old. She barely remembers who I am on her best days and just knows that I am a "nice young man" on her bad days. So I know I obviously can't say anything to her about it, but do I say something to the rest of my family about it? Or am I just supposed to pretend it never happened and attribute the behavior to old age? I am not sure what to do here to be honest.
Which absolutely floored me. I have known Grandma Francis for as long as I remember. I have NEVER heard anything remotely racist or even hateful come out of her mouth. She has been a devout christian her whole life. Volunteering whenever she could, donating whenever she could, helping anyone and everyone whenever she could. One of her closest friends at church when I was young was an african american woman that I called "Dottie". They were friends for DECADES until sadly Dottie passed away about 8 years ago. So to hear my grandma act that way just blew me away. And to be 100% clear my grandma is not in the best of mental health sometimes. She is there most days, but some days she just....isn't. Not entirely anyway. So maybe that could be the reason? Or at least part of it?
So I started asking alot more questions obviously, but apparently it was all for nothing because now here we are 2 weeks later and my grandma loves Hubert by all accounts. He calls her grandma and she calls him Huey. My grandma won't let anyone else take care of her during the day. She insists on waiting for Hubert to be able to help her get around and help her with all the things she needs.
But still this is someone I have known my whole life and to find out that she might of had that kind of prejudice inside her the whole time is kind of messing with my head. I am not sure how to handle it. I mean she is 97yrs old. She barely remembers who I am on her best days and just knows that I am a "nice young man" on her bad days. So I know I obviously can't say anything to her about it, but do I say something to the rest of my family about it? Or am I just supposed to pretend it never happened and attribute the behavior to old age? I am not sure what to do here to be honest.
